Michael Dare's
Rummage Sale!


Disclaimer

Feature Treatments

• Tom Robbins' Another Roadside Attraction (The 2nd coming didn't come off as advertised)
• The Deal(Period piece about the early days in Hollywood)
• Little Hitler (Time travel ain't what it used to be)
• Miss Universe vs.the Space Bikers (Roger Corman watch out)
• A Valentine Carol (Dickens watch out)
• or the novel.
• Jim Thompson's El Healtho (The flipside of Cheers. Where people go to dry out)

• Byline (Two reporters at the L.A. Times working on the same story. They just don't know it yet)
• The Bachelor's Baby II (What? You missed part 1? Click here.)

• Soft Targets (Original cold war script by me and Judd Nelson)
• The Fat Man in the Bathtub (Written for Hal Ashby)
• El Healtho (Based upon Jim Thompson's "The Alcoholics")
• Here Comes the Son (My original script for "The Bachelor's Baby")

• Adult Motel (Remember sex?)
• My Video Shop (Developed by Robert Evans for MTV. Now mine.)

• Angel Food (A short film I wrote and star in, directed by Billy Hayes) See it on the net!
• Contemporary Extemporary (Grand Prize winner of Video Review Magazine's 1st Home Video Shoot-off)
• Carrot without a Cause (My audition tape for The Discovery Program)

• Fishing (Written for Peter Gabriel but never produced)

• The Origin of Tweety (Part one of a series of special Origins Issues for Looney Tunes Characters. Never produced or published)
• My Dogs are Killing Me (Spike is a streetsmart bulldog who was raised in the pound and acts like Archie Bunker. Percival is a pedigree greyhound who was raised in luxury and acts like the Butler in Arthur. They talk)

• The Avant Guardians(Written for the Artists Rights Foundation)
• A Night to Forget (A True Story)
• The Sneak (You pull up to the parking lot at the ABC Entertainment Center in Century City, get your parking ticket, the gate goes up, and you go down endless spiral driveways in the world's largest underground parking lot till you pull into an empty space. Then it's up umpteen escalators to the top floor and across to the ticket booth at the Cineplex Theaters where AFI-Fest is taking place. You wait in line, get your ticket, enter the theater, and take your seat. Seconds later, the lights go down, the curtains go up, and the film begins.

     To your astonishment, the film starts as someone pulls up to the same parking lot, gets a parking ticket, goes down endless spiral driveways till they pull into an empty space. Then it's up umpteen escalators to the top floor and across to the ticket booth where they wait in line for a ticket. Just as they reach the booth, they find it is SOLD OUT. They decide to sneak into the theater any way they can. You suddenly realize that you're watching a movie about someone who's outside the theater right now, trying to sneak into the very film you're watching. Carrying the concept one step further, several scenes from the film could actually be staged in the theater on the night of the screening.
     The Sneak is a training film on how to sneak into movies, a love story, a tribute to Buster Keaton, and a comedy that's a unique cross between film and theater. It works on its own as a short that can be shown anywhere in the world, but when it's shown at AFI-Fest it will provide the audience with a unique and unforgettable experience.)

• Are You Experienced?(An Interactive trip through the sixties)

• The Interactive Comic (Make the audience laugh or die a slow death)
• Comic Flowchart (Originally printed in National Lampoon)
• Film Critic Flowchart (Originally printed in L.A. Weekly)
• Taking the World by Storm (Vocational Guidance)
• The Parenting License (You need a license to fish, but any schmuck can become a parent)
• Being There Interactive (The Hal Ashby Project)

• George of Earth (The last fertile man)

• Journalism
• How to Write Like Tom Robbins (It's harder than you think)
• How the Last Shot in Being There Actually Got Made (On location, anything can happen)
• How Dependency Court Really Works (Kafka, watch out)
• Porn Free (My visit to a porno shoot)
• My Past
• The Biggest April Fool of All Time (Don't blame me)
• A Night to Forget (A wrong number leads to havok)
• The Mysterious Publicist with the Bug Up Her Ass (My visit to Politically Incorrect)
• Tales from the Casting Couch (You'll never look at a Ken doll the same way again)
• How Lee Strasberg Saved My Life
• Brushes with Fame (I knew them when)
• Why did I throw a big party celebrating the fifth anniversary of the LA riots? Read the LA Times article about it here.

• My Present (soon to be my past)

• Botany (written for Animaniacs)
• The Worst Excuse (written for Animaniacs)
• Musical News (all the news that's fit to sing)

Prices!

Free stuff!

Celebrity Polaroids

• Just go here and take what you want.

• Watercolors or rubber stamp art that will look great on your desktop.

Why is all this for free?