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It’s not Marx Marvelous’ fault that he missed the ‘60s, he wasn’t born yet. He’s a straight-laced corporate type who has worked in think tanks and other corporate strongholds, but he always quits or gets fired out of frustration. He knows that something is missing from his life, but is too skeptical to go on a spiritual quest. He now works in public relations, where he is developing a campaign to bring the public back into the Catholic Church. His commercials are outrageous, and personally rejected by the Pope. He has gone for months without a new job.
Amanda and Ziller’s best friend, Plucky Purcell, is a world traveler, part-time hashish dealer, and full time madman. One day, while walking though the woods, he’s mistaken for a missing monk. Never one to turn down an opportunity for adventure, he enters the monastery and becomes a member of the Society of the Felicitator, an offshoot of the police force of the Catholic Church, headed by Father Gutstadt, who is more like a drill instructor than a monk. Soon, his sect is sent to the Vatican to get the details of a secret mission.
Professor Van Zyl is annoyed at the protesters outside his window. He runs the world’s foremost animal testing laboratory, and he is proud of his work. So what if an occasional rat develops lesions? His work benefits humanity. His next experiment involves sending a baboon into space in a weather balloon to test its reaction to the elements. The baboon is not expected to survive, but the data will help astronauts survive. Try telling that to the activists surrounding his lab. He’s got a massive PR problem. He opens the phone book under Public Relations and randomly dials the Marx Marvelous Agency.
Plucky arrives at the Vatican, where his society is filled in on their
mission. The Bahnar Tribesmen are the last outpost of heathenism in the
world. They have not yet accepted Christ into their hearts, despite years
of efforts by the church. They worship the baboon, and regularly paint
their bottoms red and dance around a giant statue of their God. Every missionary
who has been sent to Bahnar has not only been unsuccessful, but has never
returned. They have all accepted the baboon into their hearts, and joined
the tribe. It’s time to get tough on the Bahnars.
Plucky is barely paying attention. He has spied a beautiful nun, Sister
Hillary. It’s another opportunity he can’t turn down, and he pretends to
be on a spiritual quest that only she can fulfill. They agree to meet later
at one of the many underground chapels in the Vatican.
Marx is down on his luck. His home has been locked by the landlord for lack of rent payments. He considers his recent assignment. How can he convince the public that killing animals is a good idea when he can’t even convince himself? Having nowhere else to go, he decides to check out the lab himself. It’s locked. He breaks in. When he gets a look at the way the animals are really being treated, he has a change of heart and sets them all free. He is arrested. The next day his story makes the news, and he is hailed as a hero by animal rights activists.
Amanda, Ziller, and their pet baboon Mon Cul are watching the news. They are impressed by what Marx has done and immediately head to the jail to pay his bail. Since Marx is homeless, they take him home with them.
Down in the secret recesses of the Vatican, Plucky is putting the moves on Sister Hillary. Suddenly, the ground starts shaking. It’s an earthquake. An underground catacomb opens up that has been sealed for years. In the dusty light of the ruins, Plucky finds a mummified body wearing a crown of thorns. Is it the body of Christ? Has the Catholic Church kept it hidden all these years so that no one will ever know that he never rose from the grave, that Christ was mortal? Plucky decides to find out. He finds an unconscious nun, takes off her robes, and puts them on the body. He grabs Sister Hillary, who is now comatose, throws the mummy over his shoulder, and manages to escape the Vatican in all the chaos.
Once outside, Plucky lives up to his name. He visits a friend, a professional sculptor, who puts the body into a gigantic ceramic Jesus. Together, Plucky, Hillary, and Jesus get on a plane to America.
Father Gutstadt discovers the missing item. With the blessing of the Pope, he is sent to retrieve it. Plucky’s trail is not hard to follow.
Marx has never been in a more foreign environment. He simply cannot understand Amanda and Ziller, but they know what his problem is. He missed the ‘60s. They decide to take him through a guided tour of the decade that changed their lives. They take magic mushrooms together, and Marx begins a mystical voyage through the history of belief systems. The Roadside Attraction is visited by Mohammed, Buddha, Darth Vader, Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny, who all give Marx spiritual advise.
Their trip is interrupted by the arrival of Jesus, whose second coming is not quite as advertised. Together, Amanda, Ziller, Marx, Plucky, and Hillary debate the fate of the body. Ziller thinks it will make a splendid display next to their flea circus. He wants to paint a new sign - “See the body of Christ!” Customers will flock. The others disagree. They decide to sleep on it, hiding the body inside a giant plastic hot dog for the night.
Ziller wakes up in the middle of the night with a brainstorm. He wakes up Plucky. Together, they put the plastic hot dog in their van and drive off. Just as they leave, Gutstadt arrives with an armada of black limos full of monks with machine guns. They search the place and question Amanda, Marx, and Hillary, who have no idea where Ziller or the body are.
Ziller, Plucky, and Mon Cul arrive at Professor Van Zyl’s lab. The meteorological balloon is all set to take the test baboon into space. They put Jesus into the gondola. Mon Cul jumps in after him. Ziller climbs in to rescue Mon Cul, but the balloon gets un-tethered while he’s inside. Despite Plucky’s efforts to save him, the balloon goes up with three occupants.
Inside the gondola, Ziller sees all the test equipment and decides to connect it to himself, Jesus, and Mon Cul.
Van Zyl arrives in his lab and turns on the equipment. He is very pleased to be getting readings. The experiment can still be carried out.
The balloon goes higher and higher. The occupants pass out. The balloon finally explodes in a spectacular display of light.
The equipment in the lab is dead, then mysteriously comes back to life. It’s impossible. Van Zyl adjusts knobs but, it’s true. They’re still picking up a heartbeat.
In the Vatican, the Pope is celebrating high mass. As he raises the chalice to consecrate the bread and wine, an intense beam of light shines through the stained glass window onto the chalice.
On Bahnar Island, the tribesmen are in a circle. They look up in awe as an unearthly light emerges from their baboon God.
Amanda is in childbirth, at home in her bedroom surrounded by candles. Marx kneels beside her. The midwife exclaims “It’s a boy.”
Amanda and Marx walk out of the cafe carrying the child. There’s a very
bright star in the sky. Three wise men show up bearing gifts. They all
stare at the sky as thousands of luminous shafts of light rain down over
the earth.
At one point, Hal Ashby was
going to direct the film
of Another Roadside Attraction.
For the story of what happened
with the film
and my relationship with
Hal,
click here.
The
Amazing Story of How I Got the Rights
to
Another
Roadside Attraction