Torture Approved for Rose Parade

"The Rose Parade has always been torture," said Rose Parade spokesdick Chester Gigolo. "I don't see what all the fuss is about."

Another Way

Let me put it another way.

Screw every one of the slimeball motherfuckers who rob the future to rake it in today. I wouldn't let a neocon or anyone in the RIAA lick my balls if they were the last ball lickers in China. The guy in the lifeboat who has been discovered hiding food is the first one to be turned to chops when the sandwiches are all gone. We are a human body, dependent upon every part, when the liver suffers, the body suffers. I can't imagine a punishment big enough for every Marie Antoinette, Barbara Bush megalowannabe who is oblivious to the world outside while having fresh raspberries helicoptered to their yacht. Maybe they need the word SHARE tattooed on their foreheads backwards so every time they look in the mirror they're reminded of the one daily deed that can redeem their worth. Do they have to take acid to conclude that we're all connected, just peas in an Ipod, blips in the universe, or do they simply need to be covered in chopped liver and fed to the bonobos?

    According to Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong by James W. Loewen, the Vietnam war is being whitewashed by our kid's history books. Of the five Pulitzer prize winning photographs that everyone who lived through the war has seen, the naked little girl running down the road, the guy getting shot in the head, the bodies from the Mai Lai massacre, the Buddhist monk setting himself on fire, and the line of people trying to get on the last helicopter out of Hanoi, not one appears in any of the top ten history books used by high school students in America. Their little brains are not allowed to digest one single fact that would allow them to draw uncomfortable parallels to the current war in Iraq.
   Luckily, there's an easy remedy, just show them some of the movies Hollywood has made about the war. The iMDB comes up with 273 films with the keyword "Vietnam," but it seems to me that one dose apiece of Apocalypse Now, Born on the Fourth of July, Deerhunter, Full Metal Jacket, Casualties of War, Platoon, Coming Home, The Killing Fields, We Were Soldiers, Forrest Gump, and Alice's Restaurant, not to mention Who'll Stop the Rain, Hamburger Hill, First Blood, and More American Graffiti should just about do the trick.
   Now there's another mandatory Vietnam lesson, available for the first time in home video, Frank Cavestani's Operation Last Patrol, a documentary shot in 1972 that follows Ron Kovic and his band of disgruntled war vets on a trek across America to stage a protest at the Republican convention in Miami. It was clearly used as research material by Oliver Stone, who calls it "A valuable companion piece to Born on the Fourth of July. It's great to see and hear Ron Kovic in action as a leader. Frank Cavestani's film is a time capsule, full of spirit and conviction. It's interesting and sad how much of what Ron and his fellow veterans are saying in the film could be said today."
   Amen to that. There's virtually nothing about the protest pictured in this film that doesn't resonate with the current political situation in America: a war that's impossible to win, ill-treated veterans, a media in the pocket of the government, and aloof politicians who clearly don't give a shit.
   It's a uniquely naive moment in the history of protest, a ragtag gang of longhairs in jeans, making it up as they go along, sure in the knowledge that nothing beats the credibility of veterans who were actually there. They're the spiritual cousins of Stallone in First Blood, not just licking their wounds but working off their guilt for the crimes they committed in country. It's pathetic that years before Rush, talk radio brands them as communists.
    The film is grainy and the colors are washed out which only add to the antiquity and authenticity, and the new interviews with Kovic and Cavestani put everything in perspective. Richard Nixon has became a role model for George W. Bush, just as Kovic became a role model for Cindy Sheehan.
   There's a shot of Kovic at the back of the convention hall, shouting to be heard, but the media have moved away, and the camera keeps pulling back till he's lost in the crowd, we can't hear him and no one is listening, a stupendous shot that says it all. It's a scene that is reenacted at the end of Oliver Stone's film, and it's fascinating to compare the reality with the recreation.
    Cavestani's decision to focus on Kovic in this film inspired Kovic to write the book that became the best seller that became the film Born on the Fourth of July, so Oliver Stone owes Cavestani a heap of gratitude, which he showed by including Cavestani in the final events of his film. My favorite moment in the Vietnamarathon I subjected myself to was watching Operation Last Patrol, then seeing the guy who made Operation Last Patrol standing beside Tom Cruise as he wheels himself into the convention hall at the end of Born of the Fourth of July.
   The original protesters, Don Quixotes one and all, are not just protesting the war but society itself, which they don't want to rejoin, much less readjust to. Their government sickens them and they just want someone to listen. Now, 34 years later, they finally get their chance to be heard.

"Can I break through your solid wall of complacency tonight?"
- Ron Kovic -

If I could but superglue my point of view to your attention span for a nanosecond, I'd like to point something out. When you don't say something, you end up mulling it till it ripens and eventually festers or blossoms. We want to share the blossoms but too often end up sharing the festers. 

As we generate an endless stream of possibilities, we smack headlong into The Impossibles, those people who can't let go of a thought, acting as human possibility dams, interrupting the flow to create an artificial lake of reality, a doctrine to adhere to. Point out that the stream might have meandered in another direction had the dam not been built and you're showing disobedience to the dam, which damn well wants to stay put. It's generating profits and fuck the flow. The Impossibles think that the possibilities are over. All that's possible - is. All that's impossible - is not. They can't even imagine the possibilities.

The Impossibles are a drag to humanity. They only repeat things. Anything new goes in one ear and out the same one, without bothering to pass through the brain.

Age has nothing to do with it. Hell, I'm almost old and my brain still works. And the more it works, the more possible ways of looking at things show up. The more I keep looking, the less impossibilities I see. Hey, it's possible to be famous for doing absolutely nothing any better than anyone else could be doing it, so there you go.

It's possible that all of mankind can be divided between The Possibles and The Impossibles. The Impossibles think I'm going straight to hell for saying this, but I say let the possibilities flow. There doesn't have to be a rapture. I'm much more worried about the dammed than the damned.

What I Would Have Added to the Constitution of the United States
Had I been Around from the Get-Go

• I would have moved all that stuff about life, liberty, and the perfuit of happineff from the Declaration of Independence to the Constitution, making them actual constitutional rights instead of just nice words without the force of law behind them. 
• To life, liberty, and the perfuit of happineff, I would add "the right to vote, which may not be withheld under any circumstances." No more debate over who gets to vote. The answer is every citizen, man, woman, black, white, Christian, Jew, even lunatics and felons. Charles Manson gets to vote. It's particularly important that prisons and insane asylums be polling places since corrupt leaders have a history of sticking their opponents in prisons and insane asylums. Prisoners in the war on drugs should unquestionably have a say in the politics that keeps them behind bars (def. #1) instead of behind bars (def. #2). Since leaders can apparently put anyone in the brig they damn well please, they have control over their own re-election, unless everyone gets to vote. 
• No victimless crimes. All prosecutions must contain a complaint by an individual who has suffered damages from the accused. Like John Stuart Mill says, "The only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not sufficient warrant." Thus endeth, before it ever began, the wonderful war on drugs. 
• The first duty of anyone found guilty of a crime is payback to the victim. Any incarceration may not end until the victim has gotten full restitution as determined in court. All prisoners have the opportunity to make honest wages while behind bars, with all wages and profits from their enterprise going to their victims till they're paid back, oh, what the hell, double, maybe triple in some cases. 
• Ignorance of the law IS an excuse when the law isn't taught in schools. What, you're just expected to KNOW these things? All high school students must be taught all the major laws so they're forewarned. 
• Corporations are not people and have less legal rights than people. 
• All political campaigns will come out of a general fund. All political contributions are illegal. 
• All public servants must immediately divest their interest of any stocks or bonds, keeping their savings in a standard savings account like everyone else. Other than their weekly government paycheck, no elected public servant may accept any form of payment from anyone, ever, in any way, shape, or form. Making political contributions, whether giving or receiving, is a felony. 
• The president can have sex with whomever they want as long as the other party is willing. 
• Taxing income is illegal. Government shall get all funds from sales tax. 
• Absolutely every law on the books must prove its efficiency and be renewed every five years or it automatically goes bye-bye. 
• All prisons will be turned into farms where prisoners grow their own food and factories where they make their own clothes. Prisons, and prisoners, should be self-sufficient and no burden upon the taxpayer whatsoever. Teach sociopaths to work for a living. 
• In order to guarantee separation of church and state, religion shall be a mandatory elementary school course that teaches the religions of the world, not as dogma but as simple facts. Judaism is a religion with X amount of followers who believe Y, Christianity is a religion with X amount of followers who believe Y, etc. Teach every faith equally and let kids decide for themselves which one to follow. 
• Paper ballots, of course. 
• Supreme court appointments are for four years and they're out of there. 
• All government paperwork is available for public scrutiny. 
• Every citizen of the US shall have a personal representative in the House of Representatives. Elections for the house shall not be winner take all. Whoever each citizen votes for becomes their representative. Period. Everybody gets representation. Representatives who represent the most people wield the most power. 

    "In the span of two days, protesters have burned the Danish and Norwegian embassies in Damascus, and the Danish embassy in Beirut. Kidnapping and burning embassies over a cartoon? How incredibly fucking stupid. Other developments: Hundreds of people rally in Afghanistan in protest at the cartoons. Jordanian authorities arrest two tabloid editors for printing the cartoons. Iran recalls its ambassador to Denmark. An Iraqi militant group in the insurgent stronghold of Ramadi calls for attacks on Danish and non-Muslim targets in Iraq. Britain's main opposition Conservative Party says slogans by anti-Danish protesters in London amount to incitement to murder.
    "While only 12 cartoons were initially published, there are fakes circulating which are incredibly inflammatory. Extremists have taken advantage of the situation and have fueled the flames with fake cartoons and dangerous rhetoric. But I don't care how damn offensive you find a cartoon, violence is unacceptable. Period."
- georgia10 at dailykos -

    "The issue has been framed by the traditional media as 'Free Expression/Speech' in contrast with 'Sensitivity to Religion.' Do newspapers in democratic societies have the right to publish offensive images? Well that's something definitely worth debating, but it's overlooking an important step.
   "12 cartoons were published in the Danish newspaper Morgenavisen Jyllands-Posten, which you can see here. Some were very bland, others seem to be unquestionably offensive. Yet these cartoons were published on September 30, 2005. What the traditional media has failed to explain is why the protests are occurring now...
   "What CNN and the other traditional media failed to tell you is that the thousand gallons of fuel added to the fire of outrage came from none other than our old pals Saudi Arabia.
   "While it was a minor side story in the western press, the most important of Muslim religious festivals recently took place in Saudi Arabia - called the Hajj. Every able-bodied Muslim is obligated to make a pilgrimage once in their lifetime to Mecca, which is in modern-day Saudi Arabia. This pilgrimage can be done at any time of the year but most pilgrims arrive during the Muslim month known as Dhu al-Hijjah, which follows a lunar calendar that does not exactly match the western Gregorian calendar.
   "The most recent Hajj occurred during the first half of January 2006, precisely when the 'outrage' over the Danish cartoons began in earnest. There were a number of stampedes, called 'tragedies' in the press, during the Hajj which killed several hundred pilgrims. I say 'tragedies' in quotation marks because there have been similar 'tragedies' during the Hajj and each time, the Saudi government promises to improve security and facilitation of movement to avoid these. Over 251 pilgrims were killed during the 2004 Hajj alone in the same area as the one that killed 350 pilgrims in 2006. These were not unavoidable accidents, they were the results of poor planning by the Saudi government.
   "And while the deaths of these pilgrims was a mere blip on the traditional western media's radar, it was a huge story in the Muslim world. Most of the pilgrims who were killed came from poorer countries such as Pakistan, where the Hajj is a very big story. Even the most objective news stories were suddenly casting Saudi Arabia in a very bad light and they decided to do something about it.
   "Their plan was to go on a major offensive against the Danish cartoons. The 350 pilgrims were killed on January 12 and soon after, Saudi newspapers (which are all controlled by the state) began running up to 4 articles per day condemning the Danish cartoons."
- Soj: Muslim Cartoon Controversy: What the Media Isn't Telling You -

"As Your Majesty requested recently, in order to divert public attention from the regrettable demise of a small number of pilgrims in Makkah during the last Hajj, Saudi newspapers were instructed to revive the four-month-old story of cartoons about the Prophet (PBUH) in a Danish newspaper, and turn it into an attack on Denmark, together with a 'spontaneous demand by the people' for a boycott of Danish goods."

"To summarize: you can be a confirmed Bushophobe and still acknowledge that the cartoon rioters are idiots. Likewise, you can be a fully paid-up member of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy while realizing that just because you can do something like publish cartoons that offend Muslims, doesn't necessarily mean you should, especially when the lives of U.S troops might be at stake."
- lgfwatch -

"They're currently highly pissed off about fake cartoons."

"The socialist take is very clear on this. There should be no bans or censorship whatsoever. Censorship does not achieve what it sets out to stop and is never productive. It is a sign of the fragile nature of the religious mentality that humour or cartoons can be seen as such a threat to beliefs."
- Gray: Causing Offense -

    "Both sides are spoiling for a fight on this one and there is a fair amount of unattractive posturing. When push comes to shove, I have to say that I would take a lot more notice of the outrage in the Middle East if I had not come across dozens of anti-Semitic cartoons published in the Arab press.
   "The striking part of Arabic Jew-baiting is that it is as prevalent, nasty and dehumanizing as it ever was in Nazi Germany. Newspapers published in Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Jordan, Oman and UAE all use demonic images of stereotypical Jews (big nose, black coat and hat and laden with money bags) pulling the strings behind the scenes in US politics, buying political influence and spreading death, terror and disease. Josef Goebbels would have felt quite at home reading these newspapers.
   "They are unacceptable and would, if published here, cause an outrage equal to last week's, but this does not seem to have occurred to the Muslim spokesman or clerics that I have heard on the subject."
- Henry Porter: A few bad cartoons are no reason to fall out -

    "To start with, an economic boycott would be economically futile because the majority of the products that featured on the leaflets or were mentioned in the text messages are part of Saudi-owned franchises. This means that those who will suffer the most are in fact the local franchise owners. For example, amongst the products that we are asked to boycott is a product that is being marketed by a Saudi businessman who employs possibly up to three thousand Saudi people in his firm.
    "A story should be recounted at this point. During the peak of the call for boycotting American products, I discovered that every part of a sandwich sold by a certain American fast food chain was 100% Saudi. This chain alone employed seven thousand Saudis all over the kingdom. Moreover, that chain in particular plays a role in humanitarian efforts such as organizing excursions for orphans."- Mohammed Al-Jazairy: Do Not Boycott Danish Products -