The Destroyed Tapes of the Air Traffic Controllers on 9/11

Several air traffic controllers who handled two of the hijacked flights on Sept. 11, 2001 recorded their experiences shortly after the planes crashed into the World Trade Center. Seems a supervisor recently destroyed the tape, claiming he never listened to it and that he didn't think anyone else would want to. He had asked the controllers to make the recordings a few hours after the crashes in belief they would be important for law enforcement. Turns out he was right. Disinfotainment Today has obtained a portion of the tape...

Hissing noise...

Air Traffic Controller #1: These POM bottles make pretty good bongs.

Air Traffic Controller #2: Don't call them bongs, call them water pipes.

Air Traffic Controller #1: Why?

Air Traffic Controller #2: Bongs are illegal. Water pipes are legal.

Air Traffic Controller #1: What about gravity bongs?

Air Traffic Controller #2: Does it have the word "bong" in it?

Air Traffic Controller #1: Yeah.

Air Traffic Controller #2: Then it's illegal.

Air Traffic Controller #1: But it's made out of common household items!

Air Traffic Controller #2: Like what?

Air Traffic Controller #1: You just cut the top off a two liter [unintelligible], fill it with water, then cut the bottom off a one liter [unintelligible], then you glue the tops of the screwtops together so it becomes a pipe that you screw back into the bottle.

Air Traffic Controller #2: Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm not following you. How is that a pipe?

Air Traffic Controller #1: You just cover it with tin foil and poke holes in it.

Air Traffic Controller #2: Good, because I mean the plastic would melt and that would be really screwed up.

Air Traffic Controller #1: That's why you use tin foil. You push the one liter [unintelligible] down into the water in the two liter [unintelligible]...

Air Traffic Controller #2: What was that?

Air Traffic Controller #1: [unintelligible]

Air Traffic Controller #2: That's what I thought you said.

Air Traffic Controller #1: Anyhoo, then you light the bud while pulling the [unintelligible] Pepsi bottle out of the [unintelligible]. Pepsi bottle. The one liter [unintelligible] acts like your lungs and fills with smoke, then you just unscrew the top, put your lips around it, push it back into the water, and inhale.

Air Traffic Controller #2: Wow.

Air Traffic Controller #1: It'll knock you on your ass.

Air Traffic Controller #2: I bet.

Air Traffic Controller #1: Shit, you got that Ozone spray? Here comes Fred.

Air Traffic Controller #2: Act like you're working...

Disney Refuses to Distribute Disinfotainment Today

     "If Michael Moore can create an artificial controversy about the release of his film Fahrenheit 911, I see no reason why I can't create an artificial controversy about the distribution of Disinfotainment Today," said Disinfotainment Today publisher Michael Dare, who seems to have no problem quoting himself.
   "It's an outrage," he continued. "How can I keep referring to myself in the third person?"
   "This will not stand," Mr. Dare replied to himself. "Just because Disney never intended on distributing Disinfotainment Today in the first place doesn't mean they won't be held accountable."

How to Get Famous

United States Private Lynndie England went from total obscurity to having her picture seen by everybody on earth. Way to go Lynndie! Can a mini-series be far behind? Andy Warhol congratulates you and looks forward to painting you when you meet him at the 47th level of hell. 

or

Get Death Threats for Drawing a Cartoon!

Are soldiers in Iraq idiots, saps, or heroes? I don't know. Let's kill the bastard asking the question, but first...

"Never mentioned is the possibility that Pat Tillman was murdered by militant Islamic warriors trained by the CIA at Camp Peary, Virginia, also known as the 'Farm' (see Giles Foden, Blowback chronicles, the Guardian, September 15, 2001). Instead of attributing Tillman's death to blowback and failed policies, the Bushites wasted little time elevating the misguided and brainwashed football star's 'patriotism' to mythical proportions and, unfortunately, they have cynically exploited it as an example of selfless 'sacrifice' in the 'war on terrorism,' in other words the neocon war against Islam in the name of Israel, oil, neoliberalism, and corporate carpetbaggerism."
- Kurt Nimmo: The CIA Killed Pat Tillman -

Amaze and Astound Your Friends

"The only difference between the Vietnam War and the War in Iraq is that the body counts on all the networks during the Vietnam war weren't brought to you by boner pills."
- Insert your name here for $5, $4, $3, $2,, $1 (see PayPal link below) -

Mr. Conspiracy Says...

They wanted the pictures released. You know they did. They produced 'em, they distributed 'em, it's all part of the plan.

You might be thinking that when any inconvenient brown or yellow or black people on the rest of the planet saw the pictures of what we were doing to the Iraqis, they were supposed to be thinking "That's what happens when you mess with America? Oh no, I don't want that happening to me. Please, America, I be good. Just tell me what you want. I's tremblin' in my boots."

You'd be wrong.

Bush's ratings soared after 9/11. He wants his ratings to soar again. He needs another terrorist attack before the upcoming election. The release of the photos of tortured Iraqi prisoners is very clearly an invitation to attack. The myth would be that Bin Laden can only see those photos and say to himself hmmm, if the world trade centers didn't stop the infidels from THIS, my next caper better be HUGE.

Tomorrow's news is already written. They're composing our future right now. If I were the screenwriter working for the Bush Family Evil Empire charged with constructing the plot points in the scenario that would guarantee Jr.'s re-un-election, regardless of the cost, I'd have a big bomb go off somewhere in America very soon, and I'd have us reel in the perps just before November.

Makes no difference anyway because a meteor is coming.

Republican National Committee Convention Schedule
in New York, New York

6:00 PM -- Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM -- Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM -- Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM -- Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM -- Seminar #1 Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30 PM -- First Presidential Beer Bong Water Pipe
7:35 PM -- Serve Freedom Fries with extra catsup
7:40 PM -- EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner.
8:00 PM -- Vote on which country to invade next
8:05 PM -- Debut gameshow "Humiliation"
8:10 PM -- Pope issues clemency to all priests and contributors to CREEP
8:15 PM -- John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
8:20 PM -- Debut gameshow "Spank the Darky"
8:30 PM -- Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)
8:50 PM -- Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future
9:00 PM -- Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM -- Second Presidential Beer Bong Water Pipe
9:10 PM -- EPA Address #2 Trees: The real cause of forest fires
9:30 PM -- Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM -- Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM -- Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
10:30 PM -- Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM -- Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare.
10:40 PM -- John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM -- Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
10:46 PM -- Third Presidential Beer Bong Water Pipe
10:50 PM -- Seminar #3 Education: a drain on our nation's economy.
11:10 PM -- Hilary Piata
11:20 PM -- Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The dangerous new cult
11:25 PM -- Free amphetamines
11:30 PM -- Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
11:35 PM -- Blame Clinton
11:40 PM -- Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM -- Closing Prayer led by Jesus who does magic trick (M&Ms fall through the holes in his hands)
12: 00PM -- Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

- ThuhBull improved -

Internet Doohickeys of the Week

Okay, by now you know about Burger King's very strange promo site, Subservient Chicken, where you type in commands and a guy in a chicken suit does whatever you ask. How did they get a guy to do that all day, you may very well be wondering? They didn't. It's program that understands a list of commands and plays clips that create the illusion of a webcam. Here's a list of all the commands with the corresponding clips.

Then go to Imagination and watch your cursor freak out.
 

Interesting Shit

Today, three companies own 60 percent of all the hogs in America. They do it in factory farms, or, CAFOs (Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations). Every hog produces ten times as much feces as a human being. A single CAFO in Utah is home to 850,000 hogs, producing as much shit as New York City. New York City has 14 sewage treatment plants. CAFOs have none.

When the lagoons (shit holding ponds) overflow, the shit is sprayed into the air over Bermuda grass. It makes the grass so toxic that it will kill any animal that eats it. The sprayed shit (or any that has seeped through the polyethylene liner) then seeps into the groundwater, into the air, and into rivers and streams.

Since 1995, in North Carolina, a microscopic organism, the pfiesteria piscicida has caused millions of fish each year to die and given fishermen bloody lesions and cognitive impairment. This previously unknown life form was spawned in the pig shit basins and carried into the Neuse river.

Defenders of CAFOs say it brings economy of scale and drives down the price of meat to consumers. This is true only as long as you don't factor in the shit. If the waste were disposed of legally the cost of pork from factory farms would be higher than pork from family farms.

Toward the end of Clinton's administration, the EPA issued stringent new CAFO regulations requiring hog factories to take responsibility for their waste and initiating suits against some of the biggest violators. When Bush took office, his appointees gutted the regulations. Eric Schaeffer, head of enforcement for the EPA, resigned in disgust when the administration cut a deal granting immunity to factory farm polluters.

Vote Bush, the pro-shit administration.

Watch The Meatrix.

Juvenile Picture of the Week

Satan Doesn't Want Me to Remind You

Most people believe that it's the clear underside of the CD that is fragile, when in fact it's the side with the label. Scratches on the underside have to be fairly deep to cause skipping, while scratches on the top can easily penetrate to the aluminum layer. Even the pressure of a pen on the label side can dent the aluminum, rendering the CD unreadable.
- CDs and DVDs Not So Immortal After All -

History Lesson from Hell

     Back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico.
    But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great that they declared a National Day of Mourning which they still observe to this day.
    The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

Internet Rumor of the Week

George W. Bush wrote a letter to John Hinckley telling him that John Kerry is screwing Jodie Foster.

No Peeing on the Prisoners

Given recent events at Abu Ghraib prison, and calls from family members and army personnel alike, the following guidelines have been distributed to all military police and personnel involved in prisoner detention and interrogation. It has become evident that proper instruction and guidelines have been lacking. The following directives are intended to rectify this oversight.

Please read these directives carefully, and refer any questions or concerns you may have to your commanding officer. Prisoners are for detention, not for play.Sincerely, Major General Geoffrey Miller, Deputy Commander for Containment Operations, Iraq.

Rules regarding personnel conduct during prisoner detention and interrogation:

1. There will be no urinating on prisoners. Ample bathroom facilities have been provided at Abu Ghraib, in part due to recent upgrades and renovation by the previous management. While the need for personnel to relieve themselves may occur at inconvenient moments during interrogation, it is the responsibility of each and every member of the assigned questioning team to inform their superior of their need to use the lavatory. There will be no exceptions.

-Go to Michael Nickerson for the rest of the rules - Song of the Week

Noam Chomsky
Sung to the tune of "Tomorrow" from the Broadway show "Annie"

Noam Chomsky
Noam Chomsky
I luv's yuh
Noam Chomsky
You're only a dream away

Media Blitz

Fox's counter-programming against Ted Koppel's listing of the war dead was a list of war accomplishments that ran 10 minutes long.

Statistics from Hell

In the year 2000, African-American men had white wives 2.65 times more often than black women had white husbands. In other words, in 73% of black-white couples, the husband was black. For every 1,000 black women who were married, there were 1,059 black married men. Asian women had white husbands 3.08 times more often than Asian men had white wives. That means just over 75% of white-Asian couples featured a white husband and Asian wife. For every 1,000 Asian women with husbands, only 860 Asian men had wives.
- UPI -

Don't Take My Word For It

"If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head almost nothing."
- Marc Chagall -

"Every day that we wake up is a good day. Every breath that we take is filled with hope for a better day. Every word that we speak is a chance to change what is bad into something good. We aren't slaves... This nation is at least a potential democracy. We need to wake up from this walking nightmare and realize that the sun is shining."
- Walter Moseley: What Next: A Memoir Toward World Peace -

"In 1854 Florence Nightingale took 38 women to Turkey to nurse wounded and sick British soldiers in the Crimean War. This was the first time the government had allowed women to do this. Almost all modern nursing systems and techniques we know today can be traced back to her. She suffered from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) for the rest of her life. She became not only the first modern war nurse and nurse commander but its first documented psychological casualty. I got interested in her story through my work with Vietnam War nurses. Some of what I have learned so far I have organized into a timeline of her life."
- Country Joe McDonald -

"The ignorance of how to use new knowledge stockpiles exponentially."
- Marshall McLuhan -

"Because we acted, torture chambers are closed."
- Dubya -

"Guantanamo is 'legitimate' because the base is on Cuban soil, but not an Embassy, and not recognizing Castro's Cuba it becomes for the American government a playpen where the Constitution does not apply -- the Guantanamo torture camps ( where the CIA also can run drug operations 'not illegally') enjoys 'lawless' status in American legal eyes, a place where habeas corpus does not apply. However if Cuba's government and laws were recognized, Guantanamo would be impossible."
- Dick Eastman -

"It's with a mother's pride that I'm writing you today to ask you to support our eldest, George W., and his re-election campaign with a donation of $1000, $500, $250, $100 or $50. The President has accomplished a lot in the past three and half years but there is much more he would like to accomplish. He will continue to help strength our homeland defense and lay a strong groundwork to win the War on Terrorism. He has put forward plans to save Social Security, secure pension plans and enhance retirement security for all Americans. And he has a comprehensive energy plan to make America less dependent on foreign oil."
- Barbara Bush -

"Whether Republicans like it or not, if George Bush is elected in the fall, the entire world will view the election as American approval of the torture and sexual humiliation of prisoners at the Abu Ghraib prison. It might not be fair, it might not be reasonable, but it is nevertheless reality. Apologies, prosecutions, firings and courts martial will not be enough to expunge the stain this scandal has placed on the honor of the United States. The pictures are simply too graphic. The abuses are simply too horrible. If George Bush is elected President, the entire world will view the election, at a minimum, as tacit approval of these events."
- The Daily Brew: We Are All Wearing the Blue Dress Now -

"At this point, a vote for Bush is a character flaw."
- Janeane Garafalo -

"Be who you are and say what you feel cause people who mind don't matter, and people who matter don't mind." 
- Dr. Seuss -

"You do not become a 'dissident' just because you decide one day to take up this most unusual career. You are thrown into it by your personal sense of responsibility, combined with a complex set of external circumstances. You are cast out of the existing structures and placed in a position of conflict with them. It begins as an attempt to do your work well, and ends with being branded an enemy of society."
- Vaclav Havel - 

"We are all capable of believing things which we know to be untrue, and then, when we are finally proved wrong, impudently twisting the facts so as to show that we were right. Intellectually, it is possible to carry on this process for an indefinite time: the only check on it is that sooner or later a false belief bumps up against solid reality, usually on a battlefield." 
- George Orwell -

"Here are my favorite nuggets that have come out of the mouths of their spinmeisters (roughly quoted): 'Michael Moore has known for a year that we will not distribute this movie, so this is not news.' Yes, that is what I thought, too, except Disney kept sending us all that money to make the movie. Miramax said there was no problem. I got the idea that everything was fine."
- Michael Moore -

   "We call upon members of the Armed Forces to refuse to torture prisoners in violation of International Law. Refuse to obey illegal orders. Refuse to commit atrocities against an innocent population. Join with the people of the world and take action now to stop the war, and do everything within your power to resist and expose the crimes being committed by the U.S. government. We offer our support and solidarity to all who choose to follow their conscience and take action.
   "Both U.S. and international law make it clear that members of the military are obligated to refuse to obey illegal orders. Orders to engage in torture, or to attack civilian targets, for example, are illegal. Soldiers are obligated to disobey these orders and to report those that give the orders.
   "No enlistment contract will excuse you from your right and obligation to follow the dictates of your conscience. No oath will excuse criminal acts committed against innocent people. History will condemn George W. Bush as a liar and murderer, who was willing to cause the deaths of thousands of people for the profit of Wall Street. Will you stand with the war criminal Bush or will you choose to stand with the millions of people who oppose his fantasies of global empire? Don't let those monsters in Washington DC turn you into something less than human. Don't let them deceive and pressure you into committing acts that will haunt you the rest of your life. Turn against the war criminals and take a stand with humanity."
- Dustin Langley: GI counselor and organizer with SNAFU (Support Network for an Armed Forces Union -

"The day you take complete responsibility for yourself, the day you stop making excuses, that's the day you start your move to the top." 
- O. J. Simpson -

"Mars - there's got to be a cheaper way to get him a photo op in a space suit."
- Bill Maher -

Everything Else

Can't get enough of them there Bushes? Check out First Twins, the unofficial site of Jenna and Barbara, and learn about their pre-emptive strikes against the legal drinking age.

As if you needed another acronym to remember, International A.N.S.W.E.R. (Act Now to Stop War & End Racism) has downloadable PDF brochures containing facts about Iraq that will convince even the most hard-core warmonger that perhaps things are going a bit awry.

Read Bush's PDB for August 6, 2001.

Freecycle is the opposite of e-Bay. It lists things people are giving away and all you have to do is go pick them up.

Media Matters for America documents and corrects conservative misinformation in each news cycle. They monitor cable and broadcast news channels, print media and talk radio, as well as marginal, right-wing websites that often serve as original sources of misinformation for well-known conservative and mainstream media outlets.

What happens when you put good people in an evil place? Does humanity win over evil, or does evil triumph? The behavior of our prison guards in Iraq was predicted years ago by the Stanford Prison Experiment.

You think we only torture and murder Iraqis? We do it everywhere. Canadian Broadcasting Corporation produced a documentary showing the mass murder of 3000 Afghani prisoners during that OTHER invasion. It's 50 megs and Marc Perkel has posted it here.