Reagan Greeted by 72 Virgins

In his first posthumous interview with Disinfotainment Today correspondent Helen A. Handbasket, ex-President Ronald Reagan said "I'm quite happy to be back with my old buddy Errol Flynn. I might have gotten laid during my last 10 years, but due to the Alzheimers, I don't remember. This is going to be great. Oh, and tell Nancy she can go ahead and date Ashton."

"For seven and-a-half years I've worked alongside Reagan, and I'm proud to be his partner. We've had triumphs, we've made mistakes, we've had sex... uh, I mean setbacks...."
- Vice President George Bush, May 6, 1987 -

This article brought to you by Viagra, the only boner drug recommended by nine out of ten dead ex-presidents who have to service 72 virgins on a regular basis.

Film Martyr of the Week

The absolute worst thing about the death of Ronald Reagan is that it got me to watch Dark Victory, a horrible film he co-starred in with Bette Davis and Humphrey Bogart. Aside from the irony of watching a film about someone dying because of something wrong with their brain, Dark Victory has little to recommend it other than a singularly irritating performance by Bette Davis in full Scarlett O'Hara mode, and the dubious pleasure of watching a future president stumble around drunk in a moronic impersonation of a millionaire alcoholic playboy. Davis is going to die and Reagan plays the character who deserves to but doesn't. I watched the whole damn thing looking for a pithy quote from the Gipper and the best I could come up with was "I need another drink." A special cell in hell is reserved for the studio schmuck with the brilliant idea to cast Humphrey Bogart as the poor stableboy with a heart of gold who loves the snotty socialite with the brain disease. With an overwrought score by Max Steiner and a script that begs for the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment, the only way to get through Dark Victory with your sanity intact is to watch it with a bunch of drunks with whom you can impersonate Ronnie and shout at Bette Davis in unison "Die, die, die!"

Totally Paranoid, Neo-Con Nightmare, 
Terrorist Extravaganza, 
We're All Going to Die Site of the Week
(unless it's all true)

Rogue Bush Backers prepare Super 9/11 False Flag Terror Attacks by Webster Griffin Tarpley dares to tell us that "The organizers of the [new] attacks would in reality be substantially the same secret command cell in the United States which set up the 9-11 events and its associated networks, which have been able to continue in operation because of the abject failure of all 9-11 investigations to date to identify them...."

No, wait, I changed my mind. The most totally paranoid etc. site of the week is voxfux's MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT - 9/11 WAS AN "INSIDE JOB" From top to bottom - an inside job. We're all going to die. Surprisingly well documented. See you in hell.

Belated Christmas Gift from Hell

This reproduction of Edison's original gramaphone makes things that look like CDs but are actually good old fashioned records. The site, which seems to be the only one selling the item, is in Japanese, so go to babelfish, paste in the address, click on "Japanese to English," and voila, you can find out that "According to the book not to be wrong assembling, the difference of the sound quality appears due to the person who is assembled."

vs.

and the winner is...

"enlighten me" by 77,800.

Letters of the Week

heya Michael,

    Longtime fan here. Disinfotainment is great. I love the political news.
   I just thought I'd point something out about this item: <<The ultimate right-wing paranoia flowchart about the left-wing.>>
   That flowchart is actually the ultimate LEFT-wing paranoia flowchart. I should know. I'm a paranoid lefty. Somewhere between a socialist and an anarchist (well OK much closer to the socialist side), I'm definitely part of the anti-capitalism movement that is so active nowadays.
   The thing is, the US (as well as Australia and the UK) is one of the precious few places in the world with a NON-socialist "left" and we (people like me) are kinda pissed about that. The CIA (amongst others) have done all they could to create a non-socialist, non-anarchist, non-revolutionary, pacifist, pro-CAPITALIST "left." And they have succeeded.
   The Left Gatekeeper folks have pointed out what FOIA-obtained official documents have made clear: CIA money goes to media that upholds electoral politics ("Personality Politics" if you will), protesting while paying taxes, etc. They want a manageable, defanged left.
   An excellent book that won't have you fashioning a tinfoil hat is The Cultural Cold War: The CIA and the World of Arts and Letters by Frances Stonor Saunders...(a synopsis of the book).
   It's about how the CIA propagated an "acceptable" left in order to control the width and breadth of political dialog in the country so as to stave off the threat of revolution. Culturally, such artists/musicians as Jackson Pollock and Louis Armstrong have received CIA largesse, all in the name of creating a non-political paradigm for artistic expression, an orthodoxy of "art for art's sake" which is still pretty much the rule today. And writers such as George Orwell, Bertrand Russell, Jean-Paul Sartre, Arthur Schlesinger, Jr., and Gloria Steinem created a political left which is fundamentally pro-capitalist.
   Anyways, this all seems like it would be of interest to you. Keep on keeping on!

En Radicalavacado Commutardo,
Jason Sayre
aka Choobie LeBon
aka The Mule

Hey DT,

He's dead!! He's dead!! Am I the only one who feels like dancing? Maybe they should construct his grave with one of those wooden disco floors over it! No more Ronnie.. although his legacy lives on in his evil clone, the Commander -In- Thief. Speaking of Bushwinkle, he just said ,"His work is done, and now a shining city awaits him." Apparently, Hell looks like Oz.

- Howard Anshell -

I Feel So Much Safer Now

     "Three artists have been served subpoenas to appear before a federal grand jury that will consider bioterrorism charges against a university professor whose art involves the use of simple biology equipment. 
    "The subpoenas are the latest installment in a bizarre investigation in which members of the Joint Terrorism Task Force have mistaken an art project for a biological weapons laboratory (see end for
background). While most observers have assumed that the Task Force would realize the absurd error of its initial investigation of Steve Kurtz, the subpoenas indicate that the feds have instead chosen to press their 'case' against the baffled professor."
- Artists Subpeonaed in USA Patriot Act Case: Feds STILL unable to distinguish art from bioterrorism -

Bugsy

Prominent kabbalist rabbi David Basri called homosexuals and lesbians "subhuman" and claimed they would be reincarnated as rabbits.

Protester Arrested for Copyright Infringement

A felony in more ways than one

Mr. Conspiracy Says...

Here's a complete list of everybody at the Bilderberg's annual meeting last week. Senator John Edwards was hobnobbing with Ralph Reed. The president of Fannie Mae lit the cigar of the president of Coca-Cola. Henry Kissinger made a pass at Bill Gate's wife. I can say whatever the fuck I want to say about it because "Not a word of what is said at Bilderberg meetings can be breathed outside. No reporters are invited in and while confidential minutes of meetings are taken, names are not noted. The shadowy aura extends further – the anonymous answerphone message, for example; the fact that conference venues are kept secret."

Yeah, That'll Work. Urging. Why Didn't I Think of That?

Iraq's new interim prime minister Iyad Allawi urged insurgents to halt attacks on U.S. forces.

Don't Take My Word For It

"What we don't tell them is that after they've deflowered all the virgins, there are no more virgins left, so they have to spend the rest of eternity celibate."
- Allah -

"'I am going to send troops...' You get the first person. 'I am going to...' I spent three years in World War II, I never heard President Roosevelt say 'I'm going to send troops to China, and I will then send them to Southeast Asia...' President Roosevelt never said 'I.' We. We are the United States. 'We' will do this. All together with our allies. 'We' will do this. So it's 'I.' I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do that. How a fool like this can be tolerated by a country whose median IQ cannot be lower than Inner Slovenia, that they allow him to say ridiculous things and get away with it... I've never felt the country was so naked as it is now. There is no official voice. There is no representative government. Congress doesn't represent anybody, and the Supreme Court, I must say, why some of them are not in jail I don't know."
- Gore Vidal on Democracy Now, 6/4/04 -

"mainline,burning with shame,mainline,burning with shame,mainline,burning with shame.mainline,burning with shame,mainline,burning with shame. Refinance today."
- anonymous e-mail -

"A supposed intercept of a U.S. military SSB radio transmission on 26 January of this year referred to a mysterious 'countdown' to an unnamed event which (by the countdown) will occur around June 19 or 20 of this year. In the past few weeks, however, naval units worldwide have been putting to sea in unusual numbers, sufficient to cause us to revisit the original message to assess movements and adopt a watch mode going forward into the June 19-20 date area."
- Rumors Of Unusual Naval Deployments -

"Accountability for the massive crimes of the Bush/Cheney administration should not be limited to a handful of low-level scapegoats who implemented their policies at Abu Ghraib prison. It should lie with those at the very top in Washington, who bear ultimate responsibility for the profound and multi-dimensional crisis to which they have brought our nation and our world. If we do this in full view of the world, then our fellow citizens, friends and allies may be able (after our great poet Langston Hughes) to say 'Let America be America again.' Only then can we get on with the serious business of repairing the severe, long-term damage done by these crimes, and restoring our security, freedom, and system of fairness and equal justice for all."
- Tom Stephens and John Philo: An Open Letter to John Conyers - The War Crimes of Bush, Cheney and Co. -

    "Reagan drove deficits way up while funneling more money to the super wealthy and taking money from the needy, leading to huge increases in homelessness, poverty, and income disparity. He illegally gave money to the Nicaraguan Contras while illegally selling arms to Iran. He supported Saddam Hussein and other dictators through the CIA. In the 1950s, Reagan joined the McCarthyism witchhunts against progressives who they called communists, a trend that is returning these days. As an actor, Reagan could read lines in a forceful enough way to fool enough Americans into voting for him.
   "Greed was good under Reagan. I don’t think that’s the kind of legacy I want to leave when I depart from this land. But that is apparently the kind of legacy embraced by many Republicans."
- Jackson Thoreau: Reagan should NOT be on Mount Rushmore -

"[L]awmakers Tuesday called into question the use of tax dollars for procedures such as a male inmate's breast reduction surgery and skin treatments at a Beverly Hills dermatologist. Paying millions to shuttle prisoners to hospitals hundreds of miles from where they are locked up also faced criticism... In fiscal 2002-03, for example, the state [California] spent more than $8.7 million transporting inmates to and from hospitals."
- Evan Halper: Inmates' Medical Tab Nears $1 Billion -

"The Israeli forces use chemical-contaminated ammo, which makes the skin of the victim fall once touched."
- Dr. Mohamed El-Hashim: the Health Department in the West Bank town of Qalqiliya -

"Elsewhere in Iraq, the seedlings planted by Bush administration occupation policy have begun to bear bitter fruit. The city of Falluja, where not so long ago our troops were ordered to kill or disarm all insurgents, has now reportedly become -- shades of Taliban Afghanistan -- a mini-'Islamic' state with whippings for selling liquor and hair-shavings for long-haired young men; while in the south, the rebel cleric Muktada al-Sadr, previously to be 'killed or captured,' has evidently struck a deal to maintain his militia intact and his own existence as well -- and still the fighting there and elsewhere goes on with yet more American deaths, more British casualties, more convoys of unidentified Western "civilians" ambushed, and further fighting near holy sites over the weekend. And -- a sign of things to come? -- the approximately 100 Iraqi policemen whom the Americans had just emplaced in the holy city of Najaf, after some sort of agreement was reportedly reached with Sadr, have, according to CNN, already deserted their posts and left the city.
- TomDispatch -

    "1. Please tell us more about your notion of 'full sovereignty' for Iraq. Will this be like our returning Okinawan sovereignty to Japan in 1972, when we retained exclusive control over the 38 military bases on the island and the deployment and behavior of American forces on them?
    "2. Please tell us: If we plan to return Iraq to the Iraqis, why is the U.S. currently building fourteen permanent bases there?
    "3. Presumably the American troops to be stationed on these bases will remain under the control of the Pentagon and beyond the legal reach of any 'sovereign' Iraqi state. Such arrangements are usually covered by a "Status of Forces Agreement" (SOFA) that we normally impose on the government in whose territory our bases are placed. Who will sign the SOFA on the Iraqi side? What are its terms? Will it be binding on the new government you hope the Iraqis will elect early next year?..."
- Chalmers Johnson: Twelve Questions for President Bush Meant to Help Strengthen His Remaining Speeches about Iraq -

    "As revealed in the White House memo, with the exception of the Defense Department which would grow 5.2 percent to $422.7 billion and the Justice Department which would increase 4.3 percent to $19.5 billion, in the 2006 budget nearly every major domestic program would be slated for large decreases.
    "The Veterans Affairs Department budget would fall 3.4 percent from $29.7 billion in 2005 to $28.7 billion. This would include a $910 million cut to the existing veterans health care budget and a $53 million cut for the homeownership program, nearly reversing the $78 million funding increase that Bush pledged for a homeownership program in 2005."
- Stewart Nusbaumer: A leaked White House memo shows that if George Bush is re-elected, he will make large cuts in many government programs, including both homeland security and veterans programs, while again cutting the taxes of the wealthy -

    "Dear World Legislators, Parliamentarians, and World Citizens,
    "We have watched with alarm that the sad and tragic events of 9-11 (11 September, 2001) have resulted in two wars and a global rollback in civil liberties.
    "Iraq had nothing to do with the 9-11 attacks, yet it has been attacked in the name of them.     "People in countries worldwide have suffered reduced civil liberties in the name of 9-11, and intelligence surveillance of ordinary citizens has expanded dramatically.
    "I submit to you that before any more wars are launched or liberties are lost in the name of the 'war on terror' launched by the Bush Administration after 9-11, a 'full international inquiry into the events leading up to and on 9-11' be held, which includes 9-11 victims' family members from the U.S. and other nations.
- Paul Lannoye: European Union Parliamentarian, Belgium -

"Every purchase is political. Every purchase affects the environment. Every purchase is your conscience. Every purchase is a vote. Every purchase is a prayer. Every purchase matters. Buy local. Buy little. Buy organic. Live in the world you want to create. Create the world you want to live in."
- Richard Baynton -

"It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a person stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance."
- Robert F. Kennedy: University of Cape Town, South Africa, June 6, 1966 -

"Tenet was the obvious scapegoat for two reasons above all. First, President Clinton appointed him. This alone made him the obvious choice."
- Martin Sieff: One George down, one to go - George Tenet was a hapless bumbler who deserved his fate. But as long as the high-ranking Bush cronies who are really responsible for the Iraq nightmare sit safely inside the Pentagon, Americans will not be satisfied -

"True evil does not develop in a vacuum. Evil is arrogant. It has no conscience. It is utterly self-serving. It hides from the light and will attack, even destroy others to preserve its own demented delusions. It is an unrestrained sociopath, wallowing in the murky darkness of its own psychosis while endlessly rationalizing its terrible deeds. It infiltrates the weak-minded and subverts the weak of character. Evil... creates a world of shadows - shadow play - shadow government. It lives by the lie. The Big Lie, once thought to be the exclusive purview of the Nazis, has become canonized in our form of government. And it is growing more perverse, more insidious. Like the Nazis before the fall of the Third Reich, we are a nation wallowing in the murky darkness of our own psychosis. I can think of no contemporary American family more twisted and evil than the Bush dynasty."
- George Bush: World Class Monster (An EXTREMELY well-documented and annotated history of the Bush family) -

"Would removing Hussein be worth it if the cost were just one human life but that life was yours? Would you be willing to die to remove Saddam Hussein from power in Iraq? If the answer is no, then anything you have to say about the world being a better place now, about collateral damage, about the glory of soldiers sacrificing their lives for their country, is meaningless. You're not willing to pay the price. You're like so many people who believe various government programs are wonderful provided someone else pays for them."
- Harry Browne: How Much Is Hussein's Departure Worth? -

"Test subjects can't see the invisible beam from the Pentagon's new, Star Trek-like weapon [see above illustration], but no one has withstood the pain it produces for more than three seconds.People who volunteered to stand in front of the directed energy beam say they felt as if they were on fire. When they stepped aside, the pain disappeared instantly."
- Greg Gordon: Invisible beam tops list of nonlethal weapons -

     "It's time we reconsider the advice of the founding fathers and the guidelines of the Constitution, which counsel a foreign policy of non-intervention and strategic independence. Setting a good example is a far better way to spread American ideals than through force of arms. Trading with nations, without interference by international government regulators, is far better than sanctions and tariffs that too often plant the seeds of war.
   "The principle of self-determination should be permitted for all nations and all demographically defined groups. The world tolerated the breakup of the ruthless Soviet and Yugoslavian systems rather well, even as certain national and ethnic groups demanded self-determination and independence.    "This principle is the source of the solution for Iraq. We should suggest and encourage each of the three groups - the Sunnis, the Shiites, and the Kurds - to seek self-government and choose voluntarily whether or not they want to associate with a central government."
- Congressman Ron Paul: Fresh Failures in Iraq -

"George Bush was head of the CIA in 1975-76, appointed by President Gerald Ford; as Vice President under Ronald Reagan, he was our top drug cop for eight years; one of his chief aides, Donald Gregg, was a direct contact in the Contra line of communication to the White House. Ollie North’s personal diary has more than 550 entries citing drug money being used to support contra operations. If George Bush didn’t know about the drug smuggling, he wasn’t doing his job. If he did know about it, then he is clearly culpable. Either way, it doesn’t stand as a credit for a man who would represent the best interests of the United States."
- Colonel Bo Gritz: Called to Serve -

"The evidence shows ... that the majority of people in the first half of the nineteenth century did become literate (in the technical sense) largely by their own efforts. Moreover, if the government played any role at all in this sphere it was one of saboteur! For the first few years of the nineteenth century it was a subject of government complaint that the ordinary people had become literate. The government feared that too many people were developing the 'wrong' uses of literacy by belonging to secret 'corresponding societies' and by reading seditious pamphlets. Far from subsidizing literacy, the early nineteenth-century English governments placed severe taxes on paper in order to discourage the exercise of the public's reading and writing abilities."
- E.G. West: Education and the State -

"How happy is he born and taught
Who serveth not another's will.
Whose armor is his honest thought
And simple truth his utmost skill.
That man is freed from servile bonds
Or hope to rise or fear to fall -
Lord of himself, though not of lands.
And having nothing, yet hath all." 
- Sir Henry Wooton -

"It is a good thing to be rich, it is a good thing to be strong, but it is a better thing to be beloved of many friends."
- Euripides -

"personal reasons"
- George Tenet -

"If you desire destruction, simply ignore the rules and provoke those who, if they desire, can destroy you."
- Tirukkural 90: 893-894 -

"If you know where it's going, it's not worth doing."
- Frank Gehry -

    "Ronnie's long journey has finally taken him to a distant place where I can no longer reach him. Because of this, I'm determined to do whatever I can to save other families from this pain.
    "Science has presented us with a hope called stem cell research, which may provide our scientists with many answers that for so long have been beyond our grasp.... We have lost so much time already. I just really can't bear to lose any more."
- Nancy Reagan to Congress -

"Fortunately, we have a president whose moral compass is secure. He understands the issue. He understands that were talking about killing unborn human beings, and fortunately, the American people have elected a president who is not willing to do that."
- Richard Land: president of the Southern Baptist Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission -

"[A]s president, he attacked the federal funding in medical care for the most vulnerable patients, the very elderly and the poor." 
- E. Richard Brown: director of the Center for Health Policy Research at UCLA -

"People who matter are most aware that everyone else does, too."
- Malcolm Forbes -

    "The truth is straightforward: Virtually every significant problem facing the American people today can be traced back to the policies and people that came from the Reagan administration. It is a laundry list of ills, woes and disasters that has all of us, once again, staring apocalypse in the eye...
   "Saddam Hussein was a creation of Ronald Reagan. The Reagan administration supported the Hussein regime despite his incredible record of atrocity. The Reagan administration gave Hussein intelligence information which helped the Iraqi military use their chemical weapons on the battlefield against Iran to great effect. The deadly bacterial agents sent to Iraq during the Reagan administration are a laundry list of horrors.
   "The Reagan administration sent an emissary named Donald Rumsfeld to Iraq to shake Saddam Hussein's hand and assure him that, despite public American condemnation of the use of those chemical weapons, the Reagan administration still considered him a welcome friend and ally. This happened while the Reagan administration was selling weapons to Iran, a nation notorious for its support of international terrorism, in secret and in violation of scores of laws.
   "Another name on Ronald Reagan's roll call is that of Osama bin Laden. The Reagan administration believed it a bully idea to organize an army of Islamic fundamentalists in Afghanistan to fight the Soviet Union. bin Laden became the spiritual leader of this action. Throughout the entirety of Reagan's term, bin Laden and his people were armed, funded and trained by the United States. Reagan helped teach Osama bin Laden the lesson he lives by today, that it is possible to bring a superpower to its knees. bin Laden believes this because he has done it once before, thanks to the dedicated help of Ronald Reagan."
- zurcronium: Japan Today -

    "In meetings with top aides and administration officials, the President goes from quoting the Bible in one breath to obscene tantrums against the media, Democrats and others that he classifies as 'enemies of the state.'
   "Worried White House aides paint a portrait of a man on the edge, increasingly wary of those who disagree with him and paranoid of a public that no longer trusts his policies in Iraq or at home.    "In interviews with a number of White House staffers who were willing to talk off the record, a picture of an administration under siege has emerged, led by a man who declares his decisions to be 'God's will' and then tells aides to 'fuck over' anyone they consider to be an opponent of the administration."
- Bush's Erratic Behavior Worries White House Aides -

"President Bush needs your help!"
-Terry Nelson: National Political Director Bush-Cheney '04, Inc. -

"Hasn't anybody got the guts to accuse the worst perpetrator in this whole Abu Ghraib prison debacle - CBS and 60 Minutes II? What do you call it when, in time of war, someone takes military intelligence and turns it over to the enemy, who in turn uses it to kill Americans? Isn't that the definition of treason? Did Benedict Arnold do worse? Did Julias and Ethel Rosenberg pay with their lives for something like this?"
- Pat Boone bravely articulating the pro-torture viewpoint -

"Thousands of women have been sexually assaulted in the United States military. Thousands more have been abused by their military husbands or boyfriends. And then they are victimized again. This time, the women are betrayed by the military itself."
- Betrayal in the Ranks -

"Disaster comes only because of ignorance."
- Judah HaNasi, Talmud: Baba Bathra -

"We've all heard why these terrorists are so highly motivated. It's because they're told that waiting for them in heaven are 72 virgins, and I guess for those terrorists, that's a great thing to look forward to. For those virgins, heaven isn't quite what they expected, is it? I would hate to get that talk as a young child: You be a good little girl, you must always wear a burkha, you must always wear a veil, you may not go to school, you may not have a job, you may not learn to read, you may not vote, you may not drive a car, you may not sing, dance, play games, or listen to music, do everything your father says, and when you die you will go to heaven... where you will be a sex slave for terrorists."
- B.J. Novak on Conan O'Brian -

"So today is June 4. I've heard about the date, but I'm not sure why it's important. It's probably in some history book I've forgotten."
- Guo Qingshuang, 20, a travel agent sitting in Tiananmen Square on guess what day -

Everything Else

For a fascinating and disturbing look at individual victims of 9/11, check out The unusual Passengers of Flight 77.

Florida is hiding their new list of Felons. They're going to do it again.

You've got to read Dutch to find out that Ray Bradbury is extremely pissed at Michael Moore for stealing his title.

The Wizard Boys have a lovely collection of Zen Campfire Tales.

Supporters of the outlawed far-right Kach Party assaulted Mordechai Vanunu at the Jerusalem District Court, forcing him to seek refuge in a nearby pharmacy. 

Got a fast connection and a jones for The Simpsons? Watch them all here using bit torrent technology.

Here's a lovely list of U.S. Vetoes of UN Resolutions Critical of Israel, almost every one on a vote of 14-1.