Scene at the Republican Convention that Wasn't on TV

     Dick Cheney stood before the convention with George W. Bush and said "Mr. President, we're going to prove to the world once and for all that you are not stupid. So tell us, what is 15 plus 15?"
     Bush, after scrunching up his face and concentrating real hard for a moment, declared, "165!"
    Obviously everyone in the convention hall was a little disappointed. Then the 80,000 Republicans started cheering, "Give Bush another chance! Give Bush another chance!"
    "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place," said Cheney, "I guess we can do that." He turned to Bush and asked "What is 5 plus 5?"
    After nearly 30 seconds of chin-rubbing and grimacing, Bush meekly asked "55?"
    Cheney was perplexed, looked down and let out a dejected sigh. Bush started pouting, and suddenly the 80,000 Republicans begin to yell and wave their hands, shouting again "Give Bush another chance! Give Bush another chance!"
    Cheney, unsure whether he was doing more harm than good, eventually said, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance - What is 2 plus 2?"
     Bush looked down, counted on his fingers, and after a whole minute, proudly announced "Four."
    After a moment of total silence, an electric charge surged through the stadium as pandemonium broke out. All 80,000 Republicans jumped up, stomped their feet, and with a deafening roar shouted "GIVE BUSH ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE BUSH ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Stupid Answers of the Week

Is poor the new black?

I thought brown was the new black...
- steve kinloch

No.  Whoever is expendable is the new Black.
- Gina

    Poor isn't the new black, silly, it's the REAL black. always has been.
    Racial politics have always been a red herring for a keepin'-the-po'-man-down economic agenda, not just to get poor whites to support measures against their own interest (in the interest of hurting blacks more), but to convince poor blacks to support measures that don't help them either (e.g. affirmative action, which mainly benefits blacks in the middle and upper economic classes). Even the legacy of MLK jr has been rewritten to exclude his campaigning for civil rights for the poor, the focus of his activism at the time of his death. Racial hatred is the engrossing game that the masses are given to play with amongst themselves, so as not to ask questions about what the grown-ups are doing with their money. 

A South politician preaches to the poor white man,
"You got more than the blacks, don't complain.
You're better than them, you been born with white skin," they explain.
And the Negro's name
Is used it is plain
For the politician's gain
As he rises to fame
And the poor white remains
On the caboose of the train
But it ain't him to blame
He's only a pawn in their game.

- Bob Dylan (1964)

- tom 

Well I've been poor for getting on 15 years now and if you mean by black, someone who is downtrodden, ignored and generally frowned upon, then yes is my answer.
- Joe

Stupid Question of the Week

Why didn't I put out an issue last week? Send your answer to stupidquestion@disinfotainmenttoday.com.

Mr. Conspiracy Says...

1. During the Cold War, the Soviet Union placed at least 40 "suitcase nukes" in or near strategic targets in the United States, mainly major metropolitan areas.
2. After the Cold War, those suitcase nukes were not removed. Soviet sources (Lebed) reported they had "lost track of" 80 suitcase nukes, without saying how many of those may have been the ones in the U.S., so there may be 40 still in place.
3. There are credible reports from government sources that perhaps 7 such devices, 5 with a 100kt, and 2 with a sub-5kt yield, already in place in the U.S. have come under the control of Al Qaeda operatives, but that the state of maintenance of them may have made them nonfunctional - or may not.
4. There are indications that the main reason we have not captured or killed Osama bin Laden is fear that his operatives are directed to set off those devices if that should occur. U.S. agents are working desperately, and apparently not very effectively, seeking to find those devices and disarm them, and are asking for time to do that.
5. We went into Iraq as a diversion, mainly to buy time to allow the discovery and disarming of the devices in the U.S. This actually was welcomed by Al Qaeda, and we may be getting them to defer detonation by doing things, such as invade Iraq, that builds their base of support in the Middle East.

Costume of the Week

This Halloween, surely your pet wants to be Batdog!

Why It's Important to Do Your Own Research

    One of the oft quoted lines from the DVD 911 in Plane Site, which I reviewed in issue 113 of Disinfotainment Today, is somebody shouting "That wasn't American Airlines....It wasn't American Airlines going into the building" right after the second crash into the WTC. It was allegedly from an interview played once on FOX News, and never shown again.
   Admittedly only an idiot would accept one quote as proof that the planes crashed into the WTCs weren't the ones we've been told they were, and there have been accusations that the footage was doctored. Nevertheless, the line HAS entered the canon of circumstantial evidence used to prove that something suspicious is going on.
   I recently watched my tape of the 60 Minutes shown right after 9/11/01, which showed the workers going through the rubble of the WTCs and sorting it out. There, right in front of me, was a section of the side of a plane, with three passenger windows, and the traditional blue stripe of American Airlines. (Sorry, but I don't have the means to turn it into an MPG. You'll have to trust me or dig out YOUR copy of 60 Minutes.)
    Which can only mean one of three things.
 

1. It WAS an American airliner that struck the WTC.
2. Something else struck the WTC while the American airliner was crashed elsewhere and the rubble was brought to NYC and mixed with the rubble of the WTC.
3. Like the fake moon landing, there's a set somewhere in Hollywood where they create fake news footage, and they've gotten REALLY good at it, seamlessly inter-cutting actual, on-the-spot coverage of things that are actually happening, with studio produced footage of events scripted beforehand. (On the other hand, this Shockwave of the crash at the Pentagon offers pretty damning proof that it was a missile, not an airliner.)

"Do not follow advice which you do not understand. Make detailed inquiries with your eyes, ears and mind."
- Qu'ran, Al-Isra, Surah 17:37 -

Fugitive of the Week

Renee Boje runs a shamanic herb store in downtown Vancouver, known as Urban Shaman Entheobotanicals, she's an organizer of the annual entheogen conference, and she's raising a two-year-old named Shiva Sun Bennett. She's living an idyllic hippie life, harming no one, healing the sick. Only one problem...

John Ashcroft wants to put her in a federal penitentiary for at least 10 years because she grew medical marijuana in California where, gosh, it's supposed to be legal. He is seeking extradition from Canada. Please allow me to point out that anybody who thinks Renee Boje should desert her child, stop healing people with herbs, and spend a decade or more in prison because she once grew plants to help cancer patients is out of their fucking mind. But you already knew that.

14 Identifying Characteristics of Fascist Nations

1. Powerful and continuing nationalism - Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottoes, symbols, songs and other paraphernalia. Flags are seen everywhere, as are flag symbols on clothing and in public displays.
2. Disdain for the recognition of Human Rights - Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people of fascist regimes are persuaded that human rights can be ignored in certain cases because of 'need.' The people tend to look the other way or even approve torture, summary executions, assassinations, long incarcerations of prisoners, etc.
3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause - The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceived common threat or foe: racial, ethnic or religious minorities; liberals; communists; socialists; terrorists; etc.
4. Supremacy of the Military - Even when there are widespread domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.
5. Rampant Sexism - The governments of fascist regimes tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles are more rigid. Opposition to abortion is high, as is homophobia and anti-gay legislation and national policy.
6. Controlled Mass Media - Sometimes the media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled by government regulation, or sympathetic media spokespeople and executives. Censorship, especially in war time, is very common.
7. Obsession with National Security - Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.
8. Religion and Government are intertwined - Governments in fascist nations tend to use the most common religion in the nation as a tool to manipulate public opinion. Religious rhetoric and terminology is common from government leaders, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to the government's policies or actions.
9. Corporate Power is protected - The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.
10. Labor Power is Suppressed - Because of the organizing power of labor is the only real threat to a fascist government, labor unions are either eliminated entirely, or are severely suppressed.
11. Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts - Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. It is not uncommon for professors and other academics to be censored or even arrested. Free expression in the arts is openly attacked, and governments often refuse to fund the arts.
12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment - Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws. The people are often willing to overlook police abuses, and even forego civil liberties in the name of patriotism. There is often a national police force with virtually unlimited power in fascist nations.
13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption - Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other to government positions and use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability. It is not uncommon in fascist regimes for national resources and even treasures to be appropriated or even outright stolen by government leaders.
14. Fraudulent Elections - Sometimes elections in fascist nations are a complete sham. Other times elections are manipulated by smear campaigns against or even assassination of opposition candidates, use of legislation to control voting numbers or political district boundaries, and manipulation of the media. Fascist nations also typically use their judiciaries to manipulate or control elections.

- Dr. Lawrence Britt: political scientist, who studied the fascist regimes of Hitler, Mussolini, Franco, Suharto and Pinochet to compile their shared identifying characteristics -

Puzzle of the Week

Find the Negro

Bass Ackwards

Repugs are refusing to watch Fahrenheit 9/11 because they claim the facts in the film are just propaganda from someone who's anti-Bush. Excuse me? Michael Moore didn't put together the facts in Fahrenheit 9/11 because he's anti-Bush, he's anti-Bush because of the facts in Fahrenheit 9/11.

Sophistimicated Doowacky of the Week

Here's the first prize winner in the Phillips Digital Arts Festival.

Prank of the Week

"I've used MDMA, LSD, and 5-MeO-DMT to perform this prank, but I'm sure other substances will work. Wait for the peak of an incredibly intense and beautiful trip, and then spin an elaborate yarn about how the psychedelic movement has the power to change the world for the better, and how if we could only just turn on the right people, so much anger and violence could be avoided. The politicians of the world would set aside their differences and the fighters of the world would lay down their arms, if only you could share with them the majestic gnosis inherent in the core of the psychedelic experience. A fantastic sense of peace will ensue. Then the drugs will wear off, at which point - here's the hilarious part - bone-crushing disappointment and depression will set in at the realization that it was just the drugs."
- Scott O. Moore: The Unbearable Lightness of Being High -

Letter of the Week

- Children's Letters to Osama by Anne Beatts -

Don't Take My Word For It

"The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of KNOWLEDGE. The subtext is, All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions." 
- Frank Zappa -

"The reason why so few good books are written is that so few people who can write know anything."
- Walter Bagehot -

"We are facilitators of our creative evolution. We can ignite our brains with light."
- Bill Hicks -

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace."
- Jimi Hendrix -

"[Bush] also claimed home ownership has reached an all-time high, which is easy to claim if he's counting cardboard boxes."
- Danny Gallagher -

"The odds of hitting a target go up dramatically when you aim at it."
- Mal Pancoast -

    "In celebration of the working person's holiday, Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao has announced the Bush Administration's plan to end the 60-year-old law which requires employers to pay time-and-a-half for overtime.
    "I'm sure you already knew that -- if you happened to have run across page 15,576 of last year's Federal Register."
- Greg Palast: The Grinch That Stole Labor Day From Veterans -

"They could be made to accept the most flagrant violations of reality, because they never fully grasped the enormity of what was demanded of them, and were not sufficiently interested in public events to notice what was happening."
- George Orwell: 1984 -

    "In [Kerry's] almost 20 year career, he has sponsored (667) and co-sponsored (4117) a total of 4784 bills and amendments. By comparison, during the same years, John McCain only was associated with a total of 4247.
    "At least 85 Kerry-sponsored legislative actions have been signed into law by the President. Here are 50 of the most important, listed chronologically.
    "There is nothing about this record that is open to attack or ridicule, and the false notion that keeps getting repeated by the right-wing talkshow hosts that 'no bill that Kerry sponsored was ever passed' needs to be actively debunked."
- intrados: Kerry Sponsored Bills and Amendments Passed into Law -

"A conservative Republican is one who doesn't believe anything new should be tried for the first time. A liberal Republican is one who does believe something should be tried for the first time -- but not now."
- Mort Sahl -

"Before you speak, ask yourself, is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence?"
- Sai Baba -

"A clique of U.S. industrialists is hell-bent to bring a fascist state to supplant our democratic government and is working closely with the fascist regime in Germany and Italy. I have had plenty of opportunity in my post in Berlin to witness how close some of our American ruling families are to the Nazi regime... Certain American industrialists had a great deal to do with bringing fascist regimes into being in both Germany and Italy. They extended aid to help Fascism occupy the seat of power, and they are helping to keep it there." 
- William E. Dodd: U.S. Ambassador to Germany, 1937 -

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth."
- Lenin - 

"The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule."
- H.L. Mencken -

"You know me...I hate people who forward those hoax warnings to everyone they know, but this one is important!! Send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list! If someone comes to your front door saying they are conducting a survey on deer ticks and asks you to take your clothes off, do not do it!  IT IS A SCAM; they only want to see you naked. (I wish I'd gotten this yesterday; I feel so stupid and cheap, now.)"
- Jack Angel -

"I'm afraid, based on my own experience, that fascism will come to America in the name of national security."
- Jim Garrison -

    "At a rally on Wednesday, Former Halliburton CEO Dick Cheney told supporters that a presidential victory for John Kerry would put the US at risk of sustaining damage from more 'devastating' hurricanes or other types of severe weather.    "'If we make the wrong choice, then the danger is that we'll get hit again -- that we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States,' Cheney said, urging supporters to make what he referred to as 'the right choice.'"
- Gym Jones: CHENEY: KERRY WIN WOULD LEAD TO MORE HURRICANES -

"A man can always use the 'women's logic' argument in a dispute with a woman. The argument finishes the dispute immediately, and the female opponent will not be able to win it, no matter what she will try to say in her own defense. It was generally believed that the male way of thinking was much more rational: women could not think properly because of their emotions. Recent scientific discoveries reject the connection between sex and the thinking. Professor Simon Baron-Cohen from the University of Cambridge says not all men possess the male quality of thinking about systems. Because of such quality men know how to read maps, make plans and lists. On the other hand, not all women are capable of feeling."
- Every fifth man has women's brains -

    "There is only one country in the whole world that puts children first. Their education, well-being, healthcare? Top budget priority! How does our government feel about having this wonderful example being set? America has been at war with this country for 40 years. What country am I referring to? Come on now -- half of Miami will immediately know what country I'm talking about.
    "When Vladimir Putin, president of Russia, had a choice between negotiating with rebels or blowing up 1,000 children, which did he chose? As one father put it, 'It would have been different if they had been Putin's children.' Guess what? They are ALL our kids."
- Jane Stillwater: Un-crossing Jordan: Changing our standard to children not gold -

"Resistance is futile."
- Jean-Luc Picard -

"The mind starts working the moment you are born, and doesn't stop until you stand up to make a speech."
- Steve Allen -

"To install a malevolent idiot who happens to be also a psychopath as the commander-in-chief of the world's most powerful military force is surely asking for trouble. But when Bush declared at a press conference in early August 2002, speaking of his intention to attack Iraq, 'We owe it to the future of civilization ...' it became abundantly obvious that he is not only malevolent and an idiot, he is completely off his rocker. A total fruitcake. America finally has as President a certifiable lunatic."
- The Theory of Bush as Uninformed Puppet -

"OPERATION NORTHERN VIGILANCE: This was planned months in advance of 9/11 and ensured that on the morning of 9/11, jet fighters were removed from patrolling the US east coast and sent to Alaska and Canada, therefore reducing the amount of fighter planes available to protect the east coast."
- Alex Jones & Paul Joseph Watson: Wargames Were Cover For the Operational Execution of 9/11 -

"If I were to begin life again, I should want it as it was. I would only open my eyes a little bit more."
- Jules Renard -

    "While there was no evidence that the Taliban regime of Afghanistan was directly involved in international terrorism, they undeniably provided the most important base of operations for the Al-Qaeda terrorist network, which shared their extremist Wahhabi-influenced brand of Islamist ideology. In return, Al-Qaeda provided direct support for the Taliban by contributing fighters to the Afghan government in the face of military challenges by rebels of the Northern Alliance. Despite concerns over the large numbers of civilians killed as a result of the U.S. bombing and missile attacks and other aspects of U.S. military operations, much of the international community supported the legitimacy of the war effort.
    "By contrast, despite extraordinary efforts by the U.S. government to find some kind of association between the Islamist Al-Qaeda and the secular Baathists then in power in Iraq, no such links have been found. Relatively few countries have supported the U.S. invasion and occupation of Iraq outside of poor debtor nations which received enormous pressure from the United States to do so."
- Stephen Zunes: House Republicans and Democrats Unite in Linking Iraq with 9/11 -

"A conversation is something people do when they open their mouths and talk to each other. An interview is a conversation that is edited, structured, put together like a jigsaw puzzle, and focused more on one person than the other. Andy Warhol's Interview magazine is ironic, because what he published were mostly conversations...you sat in on a lunch and heard what they ordered, you listened in on petty gossip. Truman Capote turned such scenes into art when he was writing Answered Prayers, but in the raw, they're mostly boring, as most conversations tend to be. Interviews, hopefully, are conversations with the boring parts edited out. An interview is not a true dialogue, but a prompted monologue. Someone is asking someone else questions and eliciting answers."
- Larry Grobel: The Art of the Interview - Lessons from a Master of the Craft -

"Terrorism is the best political weapon for nothing drives people harder than a fear of sudden death." 
- Adolf Hitler -

"While a recent survey by Wahl Clipper Corporation showed that the majority of Americans approve of Bush's hair over Kerry's, 51 percent to 30 percent, this doesn't necessarily translate into votes. That's because overall tonsorial appearance isn't what's important, it's how they part their hair."
- Mad Dog: The Last Election Prediction You'll Ever Need - 

"In the event the Pakistani authorities capture Osama and hand him over to the U.S. official before November 2, 2004, I should opine that the event is being stage managed to give Mr. Bush a lift in popularity poll. This indeed could happen. We have read from time to time in various newspapers that the joint operation team comprising of Pakistani soldiers and the U.S. team have been combing the border area in the mountainous region of Northwest Frontier Province of Pakistan. The Internet was abuzz about the news that Osama and his lieutenants have been cornered and their movement is being monitored up close from a vantage point."
- Dr. A.H. Jaffor Ullah: Is Osama bin Laden's scripted arrest imminent? -

"When you take a comedy and remove the humor, what remains should still be funny."
- TV exec to sitcom writer Al Jean -

"The last time religion ruled the world it was called the dark ages."
- H. Lee Kagan -

"It's absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice, because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we'll get hit again and we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States."
- Osama bin Cheney -

"I will name Vice President Richard Cheney as the prime suspect in the mass murders of 9/11 and will establish that, not only was he a planner in the attacks, but also that on the day of the attacks he was running a completely separate Command, Control and Communications system which was superseding any orders being issued by the FAA, the Pentagon, or the White House Situation Room ..."
- Mike Ruppert: Crossing the Rubicon: The Decline of the American Empire at the End of the Age of Oil -

"It's too late. I've already paid a month's rent on the battlefield."
- Groucho as Rufus T. Firefly in Duck Soup -

Everything Else

In Illinois, they're confiscating legally registered guns.

None of the "Chechen" terrorists who siezed the school in Russia spoke Chechen. Because of the "crisis," Russia's creating a new leadership structure for security services that smells vaguely totalitarian. Following our lead, they're also planning pre-emptive strikes against their "enemies," anywhere in the world. If they don't watch it, they could become as bad as the United States.

Jackson Thoreau has a gallery of images of the protests at the Repug Convention that the rest of the media missed.

Here are links to all the documents CBS used to prove Bush was a deserter, and if you discount the fact that you're actually looking at them on a computer, they sure as hell don't look like they came from a computer. (Q: What's the difference between a designer for Chrysler and George W. Bush? A: The designer for Chrysler is a Dodge drafter.)

Despite the Feds dropping the ban, assault weapons are still illegal in California. Please write Governer Schwarzenegger and call him a pussy. I recommend something like this... "The Federal ban on assault weapons was finally lifted but here in California I still can't buy an Uzi. What are we, girly men? Give us our tek-9s, Kalishnikovs, and AK-47s."

The ACLU is auctioning off a visit to a Simpsons cast reading on e-Bay.

Buddha says don't fight lies with more lies, fight lies with truth. The editor of Vanity Fair, Graydon Carter, has put together this list of Bush accomplishments with all the real numbers. The word of the day...incontrovertible.