The Only Daily That Comes Out Weekly
Issue #134
...is brought to you by...
2005
Let's Do the Time Warp Again!
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Posted December 28, 2004
Hard
of Hearing
by Michael Dare Frank Hard works for the Hearing Corporation, an alternative to the legal system where litigants air their grievances in online hearings where viewers decide the outcome of the case. The Hearing corporation makes 10% of all winnings, thus has a vested interest in any lawsuits that could lead to substantial punitive damages. Frank finds they've been cooking the books and goes whistleblower, leading a class action suit against the corporation itself. Corporate thugs are unleashed who try to destroy his credibility by inventing a fake past that comes back to haunt him. Change of Heart Frank Change, a pioneer heart surgeon, is nominated as Surgeon General of the United States. He's vehemently anti-abortion. Since rich women have always been able to skirt American laws by flying to foreign countries where abortions are legal, he leads the charge for the US to boycott every country on earth where abortions are available. An international trade crisis ensues. Frank has to face a personal crisis when there's a problem with his wife's pregnancy. The baby will certainly die, and if she doesn't get a late term abortion, she will die too. by Jack Kerouac
PROCEDURE: Time being of the essence in the purity of speech, sketching language is undisturbed flow from the mind of personal secret idea-words, bowing (as per jazz musician) on subject of image. METHOD: No periods separating sentence-structures already arbitrarily riddled by false colons and timid usually needless commas--but the vigorous space dash separating rhetorical breathing (as jazz musician drawing breath between out-blown phrases) - "measured pauses which are the essentials of our speech" - "divisions of the sounds we hear" - time and how to note it down." (William Carlos Williams) SCOPING: Not "selectivity" of expression but following free deviation (association) of mind into limitless blow-on-subject seas of thought, swimming in sea of English with no discipline other than rhythms of rhetorical exhalation and expostulated statement, like a fist coming down on a table with each complete utterance, bang! (the space dash) - Blow as deep as you want - write as deeply, fish as far down as you want, satisfy yourself first, then reader cannot fail to receive telepathic shock and meaning - excitement by same laws operating in his own human mind. LAG IN PROCEDURE: No pause to think of proper word but the infantile pileup of scatological buildup words till satisfaction is gained, which will turn out to be a great appending rhythm to a thought and be in accordance with Great Law of timing. TIMING: Nothing is muddy that runs in time and to laws of time - Shakespearean stress of dramatic need to speak now in own unalterable way or forever hold tongue - no revisions (except obvious rational mistakes, such as names or calculated insertions in act of not writing but inserting). CENTER OF INTEREST: Begin not from preconceived idea of what to say about image but from jewel center of interest in subject of image at moment of writing, and write outwards swimming in a sea of language to peripheral release and exhaustion - Do not afterthink except for poetic or P.S. reasons. Never afterthink to "improve" or defray impressions, as, the best writing is always the most painful personal wrung-out tossed from cradle warm protective mind - tap from yourself the sound of yourself, blow! - now! - your way is your only way - "good" - or "bad" - always honest, ("ludicrous"), spontaneous, "confessional" interesting, because not "crafted."Craft is craft. STRUCTURE OF WORK: Modern bizarre structures (science fiction, etc.) arise from language being dead, "different" themes give illusion of "new" life. Follow roughly outlines in outfanning movement over subject, as rive rock, so mindflow over jewel-center need (run your mind over it, once) arrive at sharp-necessitating "ending" and language shortens in race to wire of time-race of work, following laws of Deep Form, to conclusion, last words, last trickle - Night is The End. MENTAL STATE: If possible write "without consciousness" in semi-trance (as Yeats' later "trance writing") allowing subconscious to admit in own uninhibited interesting necessary and so "modern" language what conscious art would censor, and write excitedly, swiftly, with writing-or-typing-cramps, in accordance (as from center to periphery) with laws of orgasm, Reich's "beclouding of consciousness." Come from within, out. Politically Correct Cartoon
of the Week
Happy
New Year
In all the major dimensions of life and culture our great planet earth has finally become the home to one grand civilization. It has been six million years since a human like being stood up in a tree and searched about for a solution to his imminent future. In this long long search for answers we have finally gotten to a place where everything can be known by almost everybody, where every resource can be shared by almost everybody, and where the best of all we have discovered is available to all. It is time to reset our global calendars to year one. We are one planet! There are no longer any serious number of lost tribes out there. There is a five-story mall in Borneo. People in the back woods of the world can listen to symphonies as if they were located in the front row of the orchestra pit. This doesn't mean life as we know it is any better than it's ever been, but it does mean we are connected. There are not a handful of people alive that don't know we are a planet full of people that are in contact. Never have boundaries been so superficial. Never has there been a global conscience so quick to respond to events of the day. Never has there been a time when all that we have discovered is so available to all that are alive. In the name of humanity, let's take a moment to notice where we have come. Conflict on a global basis is reduced to what might be considered petty crime. There may be one or two empires left out there but their behavior only reminds us more of how obsolete they are and vulnerable now to this new climate of world public opinion. There is big work to do yet, and yet the gift of a great challenge is always what raises us to our best selves. But we can do it as one people of a place now like one sweet homeland. What used to take months in travel can now be had by lunch and without any real effort. The Earth is perceptible to many now as a felt orb they can feel as they move over or under her. Cultural delights are available in motion and sound in our bedrooms but can take us to the peculiar delicacies found only after arduous travel in times gone by. We know ourselves as a civilization both inside and out. In a lifetime each person can now know what there is to know about life in this world, not just a small slice of it. To what end? Just because there may be such a thing as paradise somewhere in the grand universe shall we then be forced to wait for that alleged wonder and not imagine we can generate that or a similar state of excellence right here right now? Happily it is your choice. By and large you will create the life you will experience just by the nature of your thoughts. Toil has given way to labor and labor to work and work to craft and craft to art and if you are not arting, well, maybe you should adjust things a bit. At least manage some of each of these things as you pass through. You might consider that paradise could be found inside a simple feeling. It could be made in a moment with a dear friend or pet. It could be created at the end of a grand work of love. It might be spread lavishly at the social affair of your making. Yes, and ever punctuated with music and laughter. It's not so magic or unattainable. But, unless appreciated, it is destined to fall beside your notice. And appreciation for this six million year journey of the ever-curious human animal is the task of this writing. There will be other moments to celebrate in time but this time of the final joining of all people is so auspicious to me that I give it all the voice I can craft from my many years of reflecting on what is so. Happy new Year
The Brain Monologues Dear Michael:
You can't change the world but you can change your response to it. Change your response to the world by being a better person. A world full of better people is a better world. What do better people do? You've met them. People you've liked, who got you to talk, elicited responses, showed genuine interest- part of the behavior one would expect from a priest or rabbi or psychiatrist. People with charm, people with humor, friendly people who, far from meaning you harm, actually mean you good. People who don't judge but accept you for what you are, like a good parent. If parents treated everybody they met with a little bit of the love they felt for their children, believe me, the world would be a better place. People who aren't afraid to lower their barriers, to be a bit defenseless, people who open up, let you in, who aren't trying to take advantage. This kind of behavior is a magnet. Let down your barriers. If you have no enemies, there's no conquest except for it's own sake. There can be no pre-emption, no defensive stature whatever against people who aren't your enemies. If we had no enemies, a department of defense would be an anachronism. Defense against what? Friends? When was the last time someone attacked the Amish? Can I argue for feeling defenseless? You bet I can. Every defense against the bad also keeps out the good. Every wall that protects from an enemy also separates a Romeo and Juliet. This ain't no hippie dippy dream of a planet populated by people in robes who share all the food at enormous banquet tables but simply a way you can live your personal life in microcosm of the way you'd like all of reality to behave. Accept the whole planet can't work this way. You can't free everybody but there can be individual pockets of freedom, pockets as small as you and your friends, like al-Qaeda, pocket cells of freedom, only loosely related through an internal philosophy of behavior but the diametric opposite of al-Qaeda, a devotion to doing as little harm as possible instead of as much. How does this translate into a practical way of dealing with reality? It demands the hardest thing in the world, practicing what you preach. Parents who've tried to prevent their children from picking up on their own bad habits know what I'm talking about. There's a scene in the holiday perennial Quo Vadis where a Roman has fallen in love with a Christian who pleads for him to free his slaves. He also visits a Roman friend who cordially offers him some slave girls for his pleasure. What a dilemma! Does he free the slaves before or after taking his pleasure? Slavery has its attractions, but only if you're a Roman. WalMart shoppers are faced with the same choice. Do they express their displeasure at slavery before or after shopping at a store with the cheapest prices but where 60% of the merchandise is created through slave labor in China? WalMart donates to Bush. Slavery has its attractions, but only if you're a Republican. Like I said, it's harder than it looks. If you don't believe in slavery, you don't fuck the nubile slave girl and you don't shop at WalMart. Skip Pizza Hut and Taco Bell, forget Fruit of the Loom, say no to amazon.com, yes to Barnesandnoble.com, no to Coors, no to Circuit City and yes to Price Club, skip the Marriott or the Holiday Inn (76 and 73 percent to the GOP respectively), and stay at the lib-friendly Hyatt. Skip Yahoo.com (58 percent to the GOP) and head over to Google, which gave 100 percent of their donations to the Dems. Toss American and Continental, fly JetBlue. Join NetFlix. Screw Repub-lovin' Wal-Mart and K-Mart and head over to Bed Bath & Beyond, which gave 93 percent to the Dems. Yes to Starbucks, who gave all to Dems, no to Folgers just because it tastes like shit. Think about the people you admire. They're people who stand up for what they believe. Do it in even the smallest way and you will feel better about yourself. You've got to wean yourself from evil. If you're against pollution, you might not be able to get the U.S. to sign the Kyoto Protocols but you sure as hell can throw that napkin into a trashcan instead of the street, even if no one's looking, even if the gutter is already full of garbage. You can look at the shit in the world and feel a sense of pride over that fact that at least you didn't ADD to it. The world is a recipe you can only make tastier. Add a little fearless. Add a little bold. Add a little compassion. Add a little trust. Add a little smart. Join my Witless Protection Program. Learn to laugh at things that aren't funny. Like this...
Stupid Answers of the Week Can you think of a euphemism that sounds dirty but isn't? (example: Firing the Attorney General) Hoisted up on his own petard.
Raising the Titanic
Licking the cake batter out of your mixing bowl.
Checking under the hood
Negotiating with myself!
The senator tried to ram the bill through Congress.
blowing hot and cold
Backing up the database
Just in case you didn't know, The Foremen have a
song Firing
The Surgeon General. One of my favorites, considering how much I like
Roy Zimmerman.
the Illuminati are Out to Get Us, Tin-Foil Hat Site of the Week (Unless It's All True) "In this report are many pictures showing the
establishment of Illuminati-established proof that there is a plot by those
we refer to as the New World Order to Show in architectural design of the
New Israeli Supreme Court Building designed and paid for by the Rothchilds,
a presence of Free Masonry and the Illuminati in Israel. I [Jerry Golden]
took all but one of the pictures you see here so I can assure that what
you are seeing is real and actually in place... Everything about this building
has been thought out to the very finest detail, and it is diabolical. The
Devil's plan has been put into place before we ever realize it. He knows
his final battle will be here in Jerusalem."
Ask me absolutely any question and I will answer it. Send your questions to stupidquestion@disinfotainmenttoday.com. Irony of the Week The Damnation Song
God damn you homosexuals!
From Republican Christmas Carols by Richard Nathan God damn ye fairy gentlemen
addendum by me Iraqi Bloggers www.baghdadgirl.blogspot.com
Don't Take My Word For It "Well, Watson, we seem to have
fallen upon evil days."
"It is easier to forgive an enemy
than to forgive a friend."
"There is absolutely no inevitability
as long as there is a willingness to contemplate what is happening."
"Families
of US troops killed in the offensive on the Iraqi city of Fallujah are
to travel to Jordan next week with 600,000 dollars worth of humanitarian
aid for refugees of the attack. "The November assault
on Fallujah left 71 US military dead, according to the families, and the
Iraqi government said more than 2,000 Iraqis were killed.
"America's
pharmaceutical industry is putting out an advisory about the latest potential
threat to its health: Michael Moore.
"I shall never be ashamed of
citing a bad author if the line is good."
"What contemptible scoundrel
stole the cork to my lunch?"
"I write to discover what I know."
"According
to the records, Zaggam and Merida were on guard duty May 11 in a tower
on the perimeter of an Army camp near Tikrit in northern Iraq. About 10:30
p.m., Merida shot Zaggam repeatedly with his M-4 carbine.
"You can make more friends in
two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years
by trying to get other people interested in you."
"Creativity is allowing yourself
to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."
"Everything comes to pass, nothing
comes to stay."
"This is the danger of a dumbed-down
population, of an education system being gutted even as the defense budget
surpasses those of all industrialized nations, combined. This is what happens
when drones are created, unthinking and unenlightened, devoid of analytical
and logical thought, conditioned to believe anything and everything told
them by a government for years acting as The Evil Empire. This is what
happens to Empires whose people no longer are capable of rational thought,
whose brain lacks the precepts to think on their own. This is what happens
when a population fails to question authority, seek accountability or hold
leaders responsible. This is what happens without protest, dissent and
debate. This is what happens in the absence of bravery and selflessness.Is
it so hard to imagine our government and our leaders as liars, criminals
and terrorists? Is it so hard to imagine that we are being led into a moral
abyss whose black hole is eroding the humanity naturally endowed to us?
Is it so hard to see past the lies, the deceit, the propaganda, the exploitation
of our psychology, the obvious criminal elements running the government?
Is it so hard to question authority, to seek accountability, to return
power to the People? Is it so hard to escape the clouds of 9/11 and see,
if only for a second, the incredible amount of coincidences and growing
evidence pointing to complicit criminality within the Bush Administration
and the neocons in the death of 3000 humans?"
"Instead of
Dems apologizing and sucking up to Republicanazis, we need to stand up
to the bullies like Chase did. We need more national celebrities to call
Bush a dumb fuck. Some people say Bush is not so dumb, that he may not
read books or position papers or even the Cliff Notes his staff prepares,
but he does run campaigns that win, even if he cheats.
"Everybody likes a kidder, but
nobody lends him money."
"Talking is a hydrant in the
yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes
the pressure off the second."
"A North Texas soldier who will
deploy to Iraq early next year is furious that he recently lost custody
of his son because of his military obligations. John Wertz must comply
with a court order and deliver his 9-year-old son to his ex-wife three
days after Christmas. 'This is a big slap in the face,' he said. 'I'm defending
the country, and right behind my back, they're taking things from me.'"
"That which has always been accepted
by everyone, everywhere, is almost certain to be false."
"Being a persecuted minority
of 90% of the population is never easy. Especially when the remaining 10%
willfully refuse to not be polite enough to act exactly like we tell them
to act. As a Christian, when someone smiles, waves and doesn't greet me
with the exact words I demand, sometimes I feel like beating them to a
bloody blob of Christ-hating hamburger meat."
"Sam Walton's real genius. He
figured out how to make money off of poverty. He located his first stores
in poor rural areas and discovered a real market. The only problem with
the business model is that it really needs to create more poverty to grow."
"Anyone who can handle a needle
convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there."
"It should
be against the law to break the law. Unfortunately, it is not. In early
21st-century America, a dirty little secret still exists among public officials,
politicians, judges, prosecutors, and the police. The government - federal,
state, and local - is not bound to obey its own laws. I know this sounds
crazy, but too many cases prove it true. It should be a matter of grave
concern for every American who prizes personal liberty.
"Things are not what they seem;
Nor are they otherwise."
"Undersecretary of State John
Bolton is perhaps best known for his soulful rendition of the Percy Sledge
classic, When a Man Loves a Woman."
"Success is not the key to happiness.
Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will
be successful."
"Despite unhappy
holidays, nearly all of us who served in WWII were proud, determined and
properly armed and equipped to help defeat would-be world conquerors Hitler
in Germany, Mussolini in Italy and Hirohito in Japan.
"A document released for the
first time today by the American Civil Liberties Union suggests that President
Bush issued an Executive Order authorizing the use of inhumane interrogation
methods against detainees in Iraq. Also released by the ACLU today are
a slew of other records including a December 2003 FBI e-mail that characterizes
methods used by the Defense Department as 'torture' and a June 2004 'Urgent
Report' to the Director of the FBI that raises concerns that abuse of detainees
is being covered up."
"A new United Nations report
finds Israeli policies in the wake of the Palestinian Al-Aqsa Intifada
have caused serious economic hardship for the people of Bethlehem. The
report, Costs of Conflict: The Changing Face of Bethlehem, has determined
Bethlehem residents live in almost complete isolation of their Jerusalemite
and West Bank neighbours, quarantined off by a series of roadblocks, checkpoints,
illegal Jewish settlements and stretches of concrete blocks put in place
by Israeli occupation forces over the course of the last four years."
"Israeli former nuclear technician Mordechai Vanunu has been detained trying to enter Bethlehem in the West Bank in defiance of a travel ban. Vanunu, a Christian convert, had wanted to pray at the Church of the Nativity on Christmas Eve, police said. Vanunu was released in April after 18 years in jail for disclosing details of Israel's nuclear weapons programme. Israel insists Vanunu still poses a security threat and he is banned from the West Bank and Gaza Strip."- Vanunu held over Bethlehem trip - "Do I have
a line in the sand? OK, I do. I resent, and I hereby protest, money in
the defense budget going for war crimes, which, as stipulated in a 1996
law for which Republicans voted, could put the commander in chief in the
death cell. "What war crimes? In Iraq they're happening
every day. In the recent glorious conquest of Fallouja, for instance, irked
at the reports of casualties from Fallouja General Hospital, the U.S. military
shut 'the propaganda weapon' down. U.S. soldiers tied up the medical staff
and patients.
"Prophecy is many times the principal
cause of the events foretold."
"When we're through this cursed
war,
"Massacre is not a family value."
"Perhaps the most valuable result
of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have
to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not."
"Laws are like sausages. It's
better not to see them being made."
"A child needs love the most
when he least deserves it."
"Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped."
"Of those who say nothing, few
are silent."
Everything Else If I were to make a bad joke about the deaths of more than 50,000 people, should I spell it Tsunami Tsoday, Tsunami Tsuday, or Tsunami Tsueday? What happens when Indonesian food attacks American food? The Humane Society steps in. Listen to John Lennon singing Happy Christmas (War is Over), George Harrison singing Give me Love (Give me Peace on Earth) and Eva Cassidy singing Lennon's Imagine. Publisher's Weekly selected Larry
Grobel's The Art of the Interview: Lessons From a Master of the Craft
(3 Rivers Press) as one of their 50 best nonfiction books of the year.
The only paperback original (besides the committee written 9/11 Commission
Report). "Thoroughly entertaining - the equivalent of a master class on
one of the toughest jobs in journalism," they said. All of Larry's books
are phenomenal. Check him out here.
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and so is Issue
#135.
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Contact George W. Bush
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Freemasons
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Skull and Bones
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Carlyle Group
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Illuminati
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact
Satan - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact both houses of
Congress - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Supreme Court
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Dick Cheney -
vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Halliburton -
vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Bechtel -
vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Saddam Hussein
- vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Osama bin Laden
-
thetwins@whitehouse.gov
Contact Jeb Bush - jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact Fidel Castro
- jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact Kim Jong Il -eng-info@kcna.co.jp
Contact Jacques Chirac
- france-presse@un.int
Contact the Pope - accreditamenti@pressva.va
Contact God - president@whitehouse.gov
Am I supposed to believe
you don't drink coffee?
You need a Disinfotainment
Today mug.

Boo hoo
I can't buy a Tiffany
Brooch with food stamps.
Won't you please donate
something to my Paypal account?
or
"I read Hollywoodland
and now I'm a millionaire."
- Algerian con artist -
"I read Hollywoodland
and now my tits are bigger."
- Dom Deluise -
"I read Hollywoodland
and now my penis is too big."
- Michael Dare -
"Not as big as mine."
- Dick Cheney -
Acknowledgment
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's fair use.
Thanks,
Grover Bose
Your Very Special Christmas Gif for Making it to the Bottom of the Page
