The Only Daily That Comes Out Weekly
Issue #138
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Take III by Michael Dare I wrote a whole new Fever Dream optimistically titled Fever Dream Take II, and it was gone just like that, the computer froze and refused to respond to anything other than turning it off and on. It has taken about five minutes to reboot and here I am, valiantly trying to remember what I did because it was a doozy, off the charts, and I'll try to remember but it's gone, a bubble popped, left high and dry, just filling space that was already filled, try to remember... (WARNING: some of this might not make a shred of sense unless you've read Fever Dream.) I picture the scales of justice, on one side, the good things we've done, on the other, the bad, and I try to put my thumb on the good. I try to justify the least possible bad things with the most possible good things while others try to justify the most possible bad things with the least possible good things. I should explain. Now that my body has stopped suffering and wrung itself out, it's time for my writing to suffer and wring itself out. If joy shared is multiplied and pain shared is divided, welcome to this week's pie, where every slice offers a shimmering glimpse of life in the Dare lane. Aren't you glad you're not me? Yeah, I've had my share of pain, a broken nose, arm, leg, rib, foot, fallen off a bike and hit my head on the cement and told by a doctor that the only reason I didn't get a concussion was because I had "an unusually thick skull." I should have known something was up when years later, I was fired from a newspaper for having "an unusually thin skill." Sometimes the Gods of pun decide to shine their light in strange places. Am I a sadist because, I, what was that?, I married, not you again, I married Joan, I thought I got rid of you last week, what a girl, am I a masochist because I prefer jokes that elicit a wince, what a whirl, instead of a laugh?, what a wife, it's contextual torture, never know where her brain has flown, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WORD PROCESSING, I'm alone in the universe, what?, so alone in the universe, not you too?, I have wings and I can fly, a Larry, Moe, and Curly dance, try to remember, what a maroon, I found magic but they don't see it, a hand waved in front of yr face, the kind of December, who invited Jerry Orbach?, promises promises, an uncredited voice-over artist going "woo-woo-woo," and if you remember, then follow. Sometimes it doesn't matter whether the muscle-wrenching, bone-bursting, blood-boiling dose of torture comes from an errant microbe obtained during a misguided stop at a Burger King or an American soldier just following orders, pain is pain, and it makes you blurt out the strangest things, I did it, I didn't do it, whatever you want, just stop. At one point, I swear to God, I actually said, out loud, "ouchee wowchee." I have no excuse other than it hurt. The hurt makes you remember when love was a savage ember about to brutally billow, when life was ugly and oh so treacherous, a cruel reminder that there's much to fear and more to loath. It doesn't go away, the pain, it lingers like Ben Hur's mom following you everywhere you go. Since there's nothing you can do about it, you try to turn it into a positive, after all, you can learn from the pain and learning is a good thing so pain must be good. And that's just the physical. You'd have thought the fifth amendment prohibiting testimony against yourself might also prohibit using torture as a means of getting people to testify against themselves but apparently we left that pesky amendment out of the Iraqi constitution. Emotional torture is just as devastating. In the "Physical Pain vs. Emotional Pain Olympics," losing a limb and losing a child always come in neck and neck. Having had a Government agent come into my home and literally take my baby out of my arms is an emotional experience against which all others come up wanting. Whenever something bad happens, I just say to myself hey, it wasn't as bad as THAT. I try to remember when life was slow and oh so mellow, pain from the past helping to deal with pain from the future, when you were a tender and callow fellow, but where is Angelina Jolie?, follow, follow, follow, follow... "Nothing fixes a thing so intensely
in the memory as the wish to forget it."
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Posted February 8, 2005 Someone to Feel Sorry For All the midgets who were hit with the spam titled "Are You Short This Week?" Unless You Read Pravda, You Heard it Here First Russia's dumping the dollar and switching to the Euro. Today in History
Questions asked to the U.S.
House of Representatives
1. What if the policies of foreign
intervention, entangling alliances, policing the world, nation building,
and spreading our values through force are deeply flawed?
The meaningless rant and the subsequent discussion of gay marriage has been moved here. Quiz of the Week The Middle East ceasefire will last... a) a day.
Important Political Action
of the Week
I Feel So Much Safer Now "Two boys were arrested for making pencil-and-crayon
stick figure drawings depicting a 10-year-old classmate being stabbed and
hung, police said. The children, charged with a felony, were taken from
school in handcuffs. The 9- and 10-year-old boys were arrested Monday and
charged with making a written threat to kill or harm another person. They
were also suspended from school. One drawing showed the two boys standing
on either side of the other boy and 'holding knives pointed through' his
body, according to a police report. The figures were identified by written
names or initials. Another drawing showed a stick figure hanging, tears
falling from his eyes, with two other stick figures standing below him.
Other pieces of scrap paper listed misspelled profanities and the initials
of the boy who was allegedly threatened. The boys' parents said they
thought the children should be punished by the school and families, not
the legal system.
Blogger Most in Need of Spellcheck Well...
Don't
you wish I had as good a tip this week as I had last week?
The first gay shotgun marriage. A hillbilly comes home to find his son in bed with another man and insists they marry or he'll blow their heads off. Buncha British Links
Ministry of Defence
I Married Joan
"Light
is constantly trying to enter our lives... If the Light is constantly trying
to share with us, why aren't we endlessly fulfilled every moment of the
day? The answer to this amazing question is one of the most important spiritual
lessons we can grasp: there cannot be Light without a vessel. This means
that although the Creator desires to share and give us everything (Light),
we need to create the vessel to receive it. And the amount of Light that
we receive is exactly dependent on the size of the vessel that we create.
"Every man serves a useful purpose:
A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor."
"The two parties
meet in the middle of the forest, and they address the first thing, which
is each other's humanity. And they address it in a very interesting way.
In the beginning, they set the stage by paying attention to the people.
The one side says to the other side something like this. 'Well we've been
engaged in combat and you've come out of the forest and you're covered
in the bracken of the forest; we see that on your clothing. So the first
thing we do is brush your clothing off, and clean off all the stuff that
shows that you've been in a war.' The next thing they do is they brush
off the bench that the man is going to sit on and make it clean and ready
for that. Then they begin addressing a series of things.
"I want people
to know that the longer I thought about just how stupid the concept of
war really is the stronger I felt about not participating in war. Why do
we tell our children to not solve their differences with violence, then
turn around and commit the ultimate in violence against people in another
country who have nothing to do with the political attitudes of their leaders?
"A decorated
Marine Corps general said, 'It's fun to shoot some people' as he described
the wars U.S. troops are fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan.
"Under Germany's
welfare reforms, any woman under 55 who has been out of work for more than
a year can be forced to take an available job including in the sex industry
or lose her unemployment benefit. Last month German unemployment rose for
the 11th consecutive month to 4.5 million, taking the number out of work
to its highest since reunification in 1990.
"What of the
election's content? How has the vote changed things in Iraq? Has it led
to any expansion of democratic rights, or given the Iraqi people greater
power? The U.S. military remains the real ruler of Iraq.
"We must withdraw
our military from Iraq, the sooner the better. The reason is simple: Our
presence there is a disaster for the American people and an even bigger
disaster for the Iraqi people.
"The United
States is steadily losing ground to the Iraqi insurgency, according to
every key military yardstick.
"Let the Sunnis
have what is left of Fallugah and the Sunni Triangle. Let the Shi'its have
Baghdad. Bush doesn't want it anyway. It is covered with DU. It glows in
the dark! Let the Kurds get the north. And let everyone (except poor sorry
George Bush who will probably sulk about this for decades) split the oil
profits. If the Iraqis divide themselves up this way - and perhaps form
a federation like the U.S. federation of states - everyone will be happy.
Everyone will get a piece of the pie.
"If George Bush took a shit in
front of the Lincoln Memorial, Orrin Hatch would appear on Fox 'News' to
declare how bold a shit it was and how mighty a loaf was pinched out and
how are the Democrats going to deal with a President who is unafraid to
take a dump with a stone Lincoln staring at him."
"Voters
turned out in unexpectedly high numbers, defying terrorists in an act of
collective bravery that marked a historic triumph in the struggle for democracy
and a turning point in the long and bloody US military operation thousands
of miles from American shores.
"[T]he president's most important
constituency is not the Christian right, but Wall Street, which stands
to gain hefty new benefits from the privatization of part of the Social
Security system in the form of individual investment accounts. The main
Wall Street lobby, the Alliance for Worker Retirement Security and its
35 members, gave $34.6 million in individual and PAC contributions from
1999 through late 2004, according to the Center for Responsive Politics.
Members of the Alliance spent $108 million lobbying the federal government
during 2003 and the first half of 2004."
"While the Palestinians, including
militant groups such as Hamas, make every attempt for a cease fire, the
Israelis continue to kill more Palestinian children. Just 5 days ago the
Israelis shot and killed a 3-year-old Palestinian girl while the young
child sat in her own home. Today, the Israelis shot and killed a 10-year-old
Palestinian girl while she stood in line at her day school. Yet, the only
news we get from the U.S. media is praise to Sharon and his Israeli thugs
for their efforts towards peace. You can bet you won't get it in the Atlanta
Journal-Constitution or if you do it will be a one sentence hidden in the
'Other World News' summary. They are too busy praising Israel's concessions
and their efforts at peace. Peace is the last thing that Sharon wants.
With peace the Israelis fear that the U.S. handouts would end. Now, I wait
to see how the media reports Hamas revenge for this killing. I won't be
surprised when the media reports the facts without ever mentioning the
two Palestinian children killed in the last few days. When Israelis attack
the media reports it as retaliation. When Palestinians attack it is reported
as a break in the lull of Middle East violence. Pathetic!"
"The United States has five secret
military bases in Israel, according to a new book published recently in
the U.S. Code Names, written by journalist William Arkin, a former
U.S. intelligence official, says there have been secret ties between the
U.S. and Israel since the September 11, 2001 attacks. Arkin says the American
military is present at Ben-Gurion International Airport, in the Tel Aviv
suburb of Herzliya Pituah and in three other sites, called bases 51-56,
across the country. The book also claims to decipher 3,000 code names and
secret passwords used to develop international military contacts between
the Pentagon and other countries, including Israel. The book also offers
a detailed description of U.S. military ties and secret presence in countries
in the Middle East, Asia and Africa following the 2001 attacks."
"Ali Abunimah, a writer and commentator
on the Middle East and Arab-American affairs and co-founder of the Web
site Electronic Intifada, laid out his opposition to a two-state
solution to the Mideast peace process yesterday. The Middle East peace
process is phony, Abunimah said, because what Israel wants to do - with
U.S. complicity - is to set up independent homelands similar to the apartheid
system under white-ruled South Africa. The apartheid system is so far advanced
that a two-state solution to the conflict is no longer possible, he told
about 100 students. What is needed is a unitary state in which Israelis
and Palestinians would have equal rights, Abunimah said."
"For a brief
moment perhaps the casualties will believe, then try desperately to keep
believing, that they did something brave and worthy and terribly important
for that abstraction, country. Some will expect thanks. But there will
be no thanks, or few, and those quickly forgotten. It will be worse. People
will ask how they lost the leg. In Iraq, they will say, hoping for sympathy,
or respect, or understanding. The response, often unvoiced but unmistakable,
will be, What did you do that for? The wounded will realize that they are
not only crippled, but freaks.
"How quickly we forget: A democratic
Iraq was never the reason Bush forced us into this war. Iraq's fledgling
democracy is a pleasant side effect, an bonus PR move, a heartwarming and
patriotic patina of bogus humanitarianism BushCo is now trying to slather
over one of the most disastrous and inept military efforts in recent history.
It makes for terrific photo-ops. It makes for miserable and debilitating
foreign policy."
"These true
believers subscribe to a fantastical theology concocted in the 19th century
by a couple of immigrant preachers who took disparate passages from the
Bible and wove them into a narrative that has captivated the imagination
of millions of Americans.
"Eternal nothingness is fine
if you happen to be dressed for it."
"It is impossible to defeat an
ignorant man in argument."
"Television is more interesting
than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners
of our rooms."
"It is well to remember that
the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others."
"When the Holy One, Blessed Be
He, is angry with the world's nations who fail to help Israel, who want
to evacuate and to disengage and who interfere in our affairs and harm
us, the Holy One, Blessed Be He, claps his hands in sadness - and all this
causes the quake."
"Good judgment comes from experience,
and experience comes from bad judgment."
"Load up your mind with pictures
capturing your preferred tomorrow. Put the remembrances of the past in
a place where they won't block your view."
"This is not a novel to be tossed
aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
"I am a kind of paranoiac in
reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."
"Ninety-eight percent of the
adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's
the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then - we elected
them."
"Stoop and you'll be stepped
on; stand tall and you'll be shot at."
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
"Life is easier than you think.
All you have to do is accept the impossible, do without the indispensable,
bear the intolerable, and be able to laugh at things that aren't funny."
"I despise the pleasure of pleasing
people that I despise."
"The way to write American music
is simple. All you have to do is be an American and then write any kind
of music you wish."
"A better
way to wipe out the communications of North America is to just explode
four thermonuclear devices at a high altitude over the continent. These
will generate an EMP (Electro Magnetic Pulse) that will knock out most
electric and electronic devices tied into the power grids. It will also
knock out any new devices that contain IC's (integrated circuits) and that
have an antenna over thirty inches long. That means that your car radio,
portable radio, and television will be inoperable, even if the power ever
does come back on.
"To preserve the cooperative,
peaceful uses of space for the benefit of all humankind by permanently
prohibiting the basing of weapons in space by the United States, and to
require the President to take action to adopt and implement a world treaty
banning space-based weapons. The term `exotic weapons systems' includes
weapons designed to damage space or natural ecosystems (such as the ionosphere
and upper atmosphere) or climate, weather, and tectonic systems with the
purpose of inducing damage or destruction upon a target population or region
on earth or in space. Such terms include exotic weapons systems such as--chemical,
biological, environmental, climate, or tectonic weapons."
"If the American people ever
allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation,
then by deflation, the banks...will deprive the people of all property
until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered....
The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people,
to whom it properly belongs."
"History records that the money
changers have used every form of abuse, intrigue, deceit, and violent means
possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money
and its issuance."
"The chief principle of a well-regulated
police state is this: That each citizen shall be at all times and places
[be] recognized as this or that particular person. No one must remain unknown
to the police. This can be attained with certainty only in the following
manner: Each one must always carry a pass with him, signed by his immediate
government official, in which his person is accurately described. There
must be no exception to this rule."
"The Pentagon
is spending more than $5.8 billion a month on the war in Iraq, according
to the military's top generals. That is nearly a 50 percent increase above
the $4 billion-a-month benchmark the Pentagon has used to estimate the
cost of the war so far. The Army alone is spending $4.7 million a month
while the Air Force is spending $800 million a month transporting soldiers
and flying combat missions. The Marine Corps is spending $300 million a
month, the four service chiefs told the House Armed Services Committee
Wednesday...
"Every Solidarity center had
piles and piles of paper... everyone was eating paper and a policeman was
at the door. Now all you have to do is bend a disk."
"The Press was protected so that
it could bare the secrets of the government and inform the people. Only
a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
And paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to
prevent ANY part of the government from deceiving the people."
"Power always thinks it has a
great soul and vast views beyond the comprehension of the weak; and that
it is doing God's service when it is violating all his laws."
"President
George W. Bush uttered 'freedom' many times during his coronation speech.
But freedom in the American experience has never had the dictionary definition
- freedom from arbitrary exercise of authority.
"George W.
Bush has abandoned the search for WMDs in Iraq. The supposed presence of
these weapons was the main reason Bush gave for invading Iraq. Other reasons
he gave for the invasion - ties to al-Qaida, complicity in 9/11 and the
building of nuclear weapons - have also proven false.
"Under the
new Social Austerity reform, the majority of Americans will be given their
own personal debt account. Each American's account will become active at
the time of birth, with an opening balance of minus $25,767. Upon a person's
death, whether from shock or exhaustion, his or her compounded debt will
be passed on to succeeding generations with an added 'interest incentive...'
"Not thinking about anything
is Zen. Once you know this, walking, standing, sitting, or lying down,
everything you do is Zen. To know that the mind is empty is to see the
Buddha...Using the mind to look for reality is delusion. Not using the
mind to look for reality is awareness. Freeing oneself from words is liberation."
"No one gossips about other people's
secret virtues."
"A female
military interrogator who wanted to turn up the heat on a 21-year-old Saudi
detainee who allegedly had taken flying lessons in Arizona before 9/11
removed her uniform top to expose a snug T-shirt. She began belittling
the prisoner - who was praying with his eyes closed - as she touched her
breasts, rubbed them against the Saudi's back and commented on his apparent
erection.
"Under President Bush's proposal
for private accounts, individuals who elect to go with a private account
only get to keep returns earned above what the traditional Social Security
system pays; the government would keep most of it. For example, a worker
who invests $1,000 a year for 40 years, earning 4% on investments, would
see his account grow to $99,800, but the government would keep $78,700
- about 80% - and only the remaining $21,100 would belong to the worker."
"Advice is what we ask for when
we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
"Using any
criteria at all, we are suffering the worst President in American history.
One who relies on theology rather than reason, who lies to create crisis
that do not exist, who starts wars that need not be fought, who threatens
countries that need not be threatened, who sneers at the Geneva convention,
who gives our allies the finger and isolates us from the world community.
On the home front it is much the same, he lies to create crisis that do
not exist, he dismantles whatever social programs and environmental regulations
he can get away with, he wants to give Social Security to Wall Street to
administer and he has done nothing about the real elephant in the room,
Heathcare costs rising further than the middle class can afford...
"Those who can make you believe
absurdities can make you commit atrocities."
Everything Else I can think of few greater educational experiences for a journalist than to look through Woodward and Bernstein's actual notes while conducting the Watergate investigation. Ghostsites is the museum of e-failure and supplies us with oodles of dead website screenshots and elegies. Here's a good place to look for new and used college textbooks. The Great Software List advocates the great and ignores the mediocre. A truly excellent guide to software that WORKS. Don't like any of these links?
Check out The Freedom Portal.
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Contact George W. Bush
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Freemasons
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Skull and Bones
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Carlyle Group
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Illuminati
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact
Satan - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact both houses of
Congress - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Supreme Court
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Dick Cheney -
vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Halliburton -
vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Bechtel -
vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Saddam Hussein
- vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Osama bin Laden
-
thetwins@whitehouse.gov
Contact Jeb Bush - jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact Fidel Castro
- jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact Kim Jong Il -eng-info@kcna.co.jp
Contact Jacques Chirac
- france-presse@un.int
Contact the Pope - accreditamenti@pressva.va
Contact God - president@whitehouse.gov
Am I supposed to believe
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You need a Disinfotainment
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Boo hoo
I've run out of Vicodin.
Won't
you help replenish my supply of Ginkgo Biloba?
or
"It's a charming story, very
funny and I hope he writes a lot more.
- Lynette Sheffield -
Acknowledgment
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's fair use.
Thanks,
Hiram Exican
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