Political Commentary from the 19th Century

Taken from a county jail
By a set of curious chances
Liberated then on bail
on my own recognizances
wafted by a favoring gale
As one sometimes is in trances
To a height that few can scale
Save by long and weary dances
Surely never had a male
Under such like circumstances
So adventurous a tale
Which may rank with most romances

- Gilbert and Sullivan on the Robert Blake case -

To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!

- Gilbert and Sullivan on the Scott Peterson case -

Oh, better far to live and die
Under the brave black flag I fly,
Than play a sanctimonious part
With a pirate head and a pirate heart.

Away to the cheating world go you,
Where pirates all are well-to-do;
But I'll be true to the song I sing,
And live and die a Pirate King.

- Gilbert and Sullivan on the Bernard Ebbers case -

Every moment brings a treasure
Of its own especial pleasure;
Though the moments quickly die,
Greet them gaily as they fly,
Greet them gaily as they fly.

Far away from toil and care,
Revelling in fresh sea-air,
Here we live and reign alone
In a world that's all our own.
Here, in this our rocky den,
Far away from mortal men,
We'll be queens, and make decrees
They may honour them who please.

Let us gaily tread the measure,
Make the most of fleeting leisure,
Hail it as a true ally,
Though it perish by-and-by.

- Gilbert and Sullivan on the Michael Jackson case -

I probably shall not exclaim as I die,
"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!"

- Gilbert and Sullivan on the Terri Schiavo case -

Stop the Presses

Sending Condoleezza Rice to China was such a diplomatic success that the Bush administration now plans on sending Natalie Cole to Newcastle, Phoebe Snow to Antarctica, Chris Rock to Gibraltar, and Andy Dick to prison.

Stupid Answers of the Week

Protect your precious bodily fluids...
drink Sprite!

Last week's question...

Pepsi has a new commercial where a Roman soldier says "I have a Pepsi for Spartacus," and then they show the scene from Spartacus where the slaves stand up one at a time and say "I'm Spartacus." Stanley Kubrick would not approve. What other commercial uses of Stanley Kubrick movies would he not approve of?

The answers...

   2001: A Space Odyssey:
   Bowman: "HAL open the pod bay door!"
   HAL 9000: "I'm afraid I can't do that Dave."
   Bob Vila (in spacesuit): "Having trouble with your old garage door opener? Install a New Sears garage door opener for only 99.99 plus shipping."
- Hal Robinson

    Gen. Jack Ripper: Have you ever seen a Commie drink water?
   Mandrake: Only Dasani...
- James and Katherine Allard

    A 30-second spot promoting Bush's war on Iran.
    MONTAGE: PLANE CRASHING INTO WTC ON 9/11, ZARQAWI, BEHEADINGS, ISLAMIC STREET CROWDS HOLDING 'DEATH TO AMERICA' BANNERS, BLINDFOLDED AMERICAN HOSTAGES.    VOICE-OVER NARRATOR: "We know they're a potential nuclear threat. We know they support known terrorists. We know they harbor terrorist organizations. We know they have held Americans hostage. We know they hate us for our freedom. We know they're a nation run by EVIL MUSLIMS..."
    STILL: TIGHT CLOSE-UP OF OSAMA BIN LADEN'S FACE. HOLD.    NARRATOR (Dramatically): "Coming, this June, the event that will spell an end to the Iranian dictators that terrorize their own people -- and the world..."
    INSTRUMENTAL BACKGROUND MUSIC: 'I'm A Yankee Doodle Dandy.' 
   MONTAGE: MARCHING AMERICAN TROOPS, U.S. JETS FLYING OVERHEAD, U.S. CARRIERS AT SEA, WAVING AMERICAN FLAGS.    NARRATOR (Triumphantly, with fanfare of trumpets):"...THE INVASION OF IRAN!"
    INSTRUMENTAL BACKGROUND MUSIC: 'God Bless America.'
    FADE TO CLIP OF PETER SELLERS AS DR. STRANGELOVE ARISING FROM HIS WHEELCHAIR AND SALUTING WITH STRAIGHT ARM. DUB IN VOICE: "My president!" FOLLOWED BY CLIP OF BUSH WAVING WITH U.S. FLAGS FLYING IN BACKGROUND.
    FADE TO IMAGE OF MARINE RECRUIT SALUTING FROM FULL METAL JACKET.
   CUT TO LEGEND ON SCREEN, WHITE ON BLACK BACKGROUND: Securing the peace,one nation at a time.
   NARRATOR: "Brought to you by President Bush, bringing peace and freedom to the world since 2001."
- RSJ

   This is my Pepsi. There are many like it but this one is mine. My Pepsi is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my Pepsi is useless. Without my Pepsi, I am useless. I must drink my Pepsi true. I must drink straighter than Coke, which is trying to kill me. I must drink him before he drinks me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my Pepsi and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of my enemy, Coke. We are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no Coke, but peace. Amen. from.
- Pentimental

    FULL METAL JACKET:
   A couple of US Marines are on R&R in Saigon. A skanky whore tries to hustle some business from them. She repeats the same thing over and over, "Me so horny! Me so horny!"
   One of the soldiers pulls out a prescription bottle and shows it to his buddy. CLOSE UP on VIAGRA. They high-five each other, then put their arms around the hooker's waist and lead her away. They both turn, look at the camera and wink.
   Super Title: "WE'LL SHOW YOU A FEW GOOD MEN"...VIAGRA
- Vince DC Montreal, Canada

    Viagra: At the last scene of Eyes Wide Shut: Nicole says to Tom: "let's fuck." 
- Frank Michel

    Jack Torrance: "We'll leave the light on for you."
- Marta Martin

    Jack Nicholson hawking Ti-Dee-Bowl toilet bowl cleaner by screaming "Heeeeere's Johnny" while repeatedly stabbing the bowl with a brush as water flies in your face and terrifying string music screams.
- Brad Schreiber

Stupid Question of the Week

     His name is Charles Wonderlake. That's a name I couldn't make up. He showed up at my door about six months ago, a friend of my older son, early 20s, very bright, fast, eager to please, dirty, living out of his car, offering a joint of which I partook while listening to his sad tale, out on the street, nowhere to go, willing to work, doing little errands around the house I didn't ask for, some of which needed doing, others of which needed undoing, like I said, eager to please. If I had to cast him, I'd use River Phoenix a couple of days after his death.
   Many of the houses next to mine are abandoned, but the worst is the one closest, right off my driveway, a total wreck but useful for storage. It has a sofa and a table, so Charles asked if he fixed it up, could he stay?
   Being a charitable sort, I said sure, but not on any kind of permanent basis. I couldn't afford to supply him with food, electricity, or water, of which I had barely enough to keep my family alive. In moments like these, I tend to think of the Dares on a makeshift raft in the middle of the ocean, with just enough room and supplies to keep us going. When some hapless floater who has found himself overboard shows up, I'm not going to let them drown, but I'm not going to let them jeopardize our existence either. Charles was another of a long line of the overboard who found themselves clinging to my raft. I don't have a car, so I asked for an occasional ride to town in exchange. Done deal.
   He borrowed a broom and cleaned up the place in a jiffy. It looked as good as a decrepit abandoned shack surrounded by garbage in the middle of the desert could look. He spent the night.
   The next night he showed up with another kid from the street, a genuine waif, couldn't have been more than 12, hollow eyes, sunken cheeks, dirty, needing food. I fed him, then Charles took him into the abandoned shack and slept with him.
   The next morning he was gone but he showed up later with two more dirty kids from the street looking stoned out of their minds. Charles told me he was just helping them out, that they had nowhere to go. I told Charles I couldn't care for all these kids who were obviously in need of a bath and nourishment but he didn't care. He marched them out to spend the night. What the fuck? Charles had turned into a cross between Fagin and Michael Jackson, a devious, dirty, streetwise, drug addled, conniving exploiter of street urchins whose motives were suspicious to say the least.
   Since my son introduced us, I gave him the responsibility. I told him to go out and tell Charles that his privileges were revoked and I was about to call the cops. Five minutes later he was gone.
   I considered calling the cops anyway but what was I to say. We didn't know his last name at the time and I hadn't bothered to write down his car's license. Some guy named Charles is driving around with some homeless kids? Stop the presses.    My younger son, Max, goes to Desert Springs Middle School. If I had to cast him, I'd use Patrick Fugit, the kid in Cameron Crowe's Almost Famous.

    I'd forgotten about Charles until two weeks ago when Max came home on a Friday to tell me his school had a new lunch guard. It was Charles. Max had gone up to Charles and said hi. Charles said hi back.
    I was mildly disturbed and gave myself the weekend to think about it. I didn't have to think long. The next morning I heard a gentle knock at the door. It was Charles. It was very early and everyone else was still asleep. He wanted to talk to Buster, who woke up and got dressed.
   Charles had a landscaping job in town at some rich guy's house. He couldn't do it alone, so he offered to split the pay with Buster if he'd come help. Buster wanted to go because he's even broker than me. Though I wouldn't leave Charles alone with Max in a million years, Buster's 6'4" and can handle himself. If I had to cast him, I'd use Keanu Reeves in his Bill and Ted days. My friend Ed, another overboard friend, was camped out on the living room sofa. If I had to cast him, I'd use Alec Baldwin in his Glengarry Glen Ross mode because he asked me to. He gave Charles ten bucks to pick up some beer, then Buster took off with Charles for an honest day's work.
   When Charles dropped Buster back home, he was exhausted and his hands were raw and full of splinters. He had had to shovel rocks with an old shovel without any gloves. Eventually he had to take off his shirt to wrap it around the handle, so he was sunburned too. Where was the money? It was at least $25 and Charles would pay him after HE got paid. Where was Ed's beer? Charles forgot about it. There was one wonderful piece of news. He found out Charles' last name. Wonderlake. Will wonders never cease?
   The next day, Ed and Buster went to town in search of Charles. They went to the house that Buster had worked at. The owner who had hired Charles told them that he had not only paid Charles the day before, including the money for Buster, but Charles had stolen an additional $30.
   Charles showed up at work the next day. During lunch, Max walked up to him and asked about the money he owed Ed and his brother. "Fuck them," said Charles. "Buster didn't do crap. They're not getting a penny."
   For two whole days, every muscle in Buster's body was aching from the work he did. He deserved to get paid for the first honest day's work in his life. It was time to take matters into my own hands.
    Max kept tabs on Charles, calling me on a friend's cell phone the next day he showed up for work. I borrowed Ed's car, drove to the school, and went to the principal's office. Mike Swize looked competent, younger than me, well dressed, goateed, if I had to cast him I'd use Tom Hanks because I want to stay on his good side.
   "You have a guard named Charles Wonderlake who said something to my son," I said. "I don't know if it's true or not. I don't know if my son got it right. I just want to talk to him. Maybe we can straighten things out without my having to make any accusations."
   "What kind of accusations?" the principal logically asked.
   "The kind of accusation I don't want to make unless I'm reasonably sure it's true." At this point, I knew pretty well that I was going to tell the principal everything. I wanted to give Charles a shot at making good before the shit hit the fan. "I'm just going to ask him a simple question. I'm going to ask him to show me his wallet. If I see the wallet and what I'm looking for isn't there, then I have no accusations to make. If he won't give me his wallet, I'll tell you the whole story."
   After I assured him I would satisfy his curiosity, and that I wasn't planning on starting a fight, he led me to the yard, sat me at a table away from the crowd, then sent Charles to me.
   "Did you tell Max you weren't going to pay Buster or Ed?"
   "Look, I know I owe Buster about $23 but I haven't gotten paid yet. He'll get his money."
   "That's funny, because we talked to your boss and he said he not only paid you but you stole some more from him."
   "He's lying."
   "I don't believe you. Will you let me see your wallet?"
   "I don't have a wallet."
   "So you're not going to give me the money you stole?"
   "I don't have it."
   "Last chance. I'm about to tell the principal absolutely everything I know about you, and I will get you fired."
   "Go ahead, you're just another liar." At this point he stood up, waved his arms around, and said, "Guards, guards, have this man removed from the yard," forgetting for the moment I was there as a guest of the principal. Then he went back to work.
   Back in principal Shive's office, I told him everything I just told you, concluding, "I know he's a thief because he stole from me, so if anything's gone missing since he was hired, you know where to look. I know he's a drug dealer because he offered drugs to me, he's got them in his car, he's probably high now, and you can certainly verify this with a drug test. And I'm pretty sure he's a sexual predator." (Okay, alleged sexual predator. Maybe, like Jacko, he took those kids out there because he just really cared for them.)
   A word here about hypocrisy. I think the war on drugs is a waste of time and money and that all adults should be able to legally consume absolutely whatever they want. I've been a drug user. I've been a drug dealer. I have no problem with people who are either - unless they're also liars and thieves. Charles can buy and sell drugs with other adults to his heart's content, but guards at middle schools shouldn't have imaginary bats flying around their heads.
   I'm also against drug tests in the work place because they not only test for drug use at work but at home. I'm sure we all agree we don't want school bus drivers to be drunk while actually driving the school bus, and I would hope we all agree that for the driver to have a drink after he gets home or on weekends is perfectly fine. School bus drivers shouldn't get fired because they have a drink at home, and I feel the same about all drugs. Anybody can party it up to their heart's content on Sunday as long as they're sober Monday morning when it counts.
    Unfortunately, some drugs stay in the system for weeks or even months, so workplace drug tests show positive even if the worker was always sober on the job. Perfectly competent workers get fired because they got high at a party on Saturday night. If there were a test that showed drug use at work and only at work, I'd have no problem if it were used judiciously at jobs where other people's lives were at risk. No acid for my airline pilot, I say thankya (obscure Stephen King reference). But I truly don't give a shit if the guy putting my groceries in a bag had to get high first, and businesses like stationary stores who proudly proclaim with signs that they drug test their employees can go fuck themselves.
   So how do I reconcile this attitude with my demand that Charles be drug tested without admitting to hypocrisy? Simple. Stoned is not the thing to be when you're working as a goddam guard at a goddam middle school, especially if you're a thief and the kids turn you on. Sexual predators DEFINITELY shouldn't be working at middle schools, and if it takes a drug test to get rid of him, so be it.
   I told the principal that I genuinely didn't want my son attending a school where Charles Wonderlake worked.
   He agreed and told me there would be action.
   A week has gone by. Charles is still working at the middle school. No action has been taken. Principal Swize told me he's working under constraints, that he has to do things the right way. I asked him why he couldn't just fire Wonderlake, and he said he couldn't tell me.
 

    What should I do now? Should I call the cops? The newspapers? The school board? Should I print up hundreds of flyers and put them under the windshield wipers of cars at the school, flyers saying: "Warning! There is a drug dealer, thief, and probable sexual predator working as a security guard at Desert Hot Springs Middle School. His name is Charles Wonderlake and he should not be around children. He was seen taking children of the age of students of the middle school to an abandoned shack in the middle of the desert, getting them high, and sleeping with them."

    If I had to cast me, I'd use Al Pacino in Serpico mode.

Send your answers to stupidquestion@disinfotainmenttoday.com.

Song of the Week
With apologies to Ira Gershwin

You say Hezbollah and I say Hisbollah
You say al Qaida and I say al Qaeda
Hezbollah, Hisbollah
al Qaida, al Qaeda
Let's call the whole thing off.

Activist Letters of the Week

Dear President Williams,
     We, the undersigned, are outraged that freedom of speech for faculty, staff, and students of the City College of New York (CCNY) was so blatantly attacked last week.
    We were dismayed to learn that three students were attacked and arrested by campus security guards for exercising their constitutionally protected right to assemble and to protest.
    We were further outraged to learn that you swiftly moved -- without evidence, due process, or a discussion with the arrested students -- to  suspend one of the students and to arrest another protester after the fact. This guilty-until-proven-innocent approach sends a chilling message: security forces have free reign on campus.
    We demand that you defend the CCNY students, drop all disciplinary proceedings against the students involved in the protest, and launch an  investigation into the actions of campus security.

Signed, 
Hadas Thier, CCNY Class of 2005 
Justino Rodriguez, CCNY Class of 2007 
Nicholas Bergreen, CCNY Class of 2007

The whole story of the arrest

To prime minister Ariel Sharon, Defence Minister Shaul Mofaz, IDF chief of staff Moshe Yaalon and Education Minister Limor Livnat,

    We, boys and girls, citizens of Israel, who believe in the values of democracy, humanism and pluralism, hereby declare that we will refuse to take part in the policy of occupation and repression for which the Israeli government has opted. We come from a variety of backgrounds, but all are agreed that the following values are the basis of a just society. Every person is entitled to basic rights: the right to life, equality, dignity and freedom. It is our conscientious and civic duty to act in defence of these rights by refusing to take part in the policy of occupation and repression.
    The occupation entails forfeiting human dignity and massive loss of human life. It affects the basic rights of millions of persons and causes daily killing and suffering. It leads to land confiscation, mass demolition of homes, arrests and extra-legal executions, ill-treatment and the murder of innocents, hunger, deprivation of medical care, collective punishment, construction and expansion of Jewish settlements and prevents any possibility of a normal life in the occupied territories and in Israel. This flagrant deprival of human rights runs counter to our entire philosophy, as well as international conventions which Israel has signed and confirmed.
    The occupation does not contribute to the security of the state and its citizens, it merely harms them. It exacerbates despair and hatred among the Palestinian people, sustains terrorism and expands the cycle of violence. True security will be achieved only by ending the occupation, dismantling the Apartheid wall and working for a just peace agreement between the state of the Israel and the leadership of the Palestinian people and the Arab world overall. The present policy does not stem from defence needs, rather, from a nationalist and messianic world view.
    The occupation corrupts Israeli society, rendering it militarist, racist, chauvinist and violent. Israel is wasting its resources on perpetuating the occupation and repression in the occupied territories, at a time when hundreds of thousands of Israeli citizens live in shameful poverty. The state's citizens have experienced a decline of all public systems in recent years. Education, health care, infrastructure, pensions, social benefits and everything to do with the welfare of Israel's citizens - are neglected in favour of supporting settlements that a majority wants to see dismantled. We cannot stand by in view of this situation, which constitutes the "focused liquidation" of the principle of equality.
    We want to see the society in which we live pursuing justice, upholding equality for every person and citizen. The policy of occupation and repression is an obstacle to realization of that vision, and we shall refuse to take part therein. We wish to contribute to society in an alternative way, which does not involve harm to human beings.
    We call upon all young people awaiting induction, and all the soldiers of the Israeli army, to reconsider whether to risk their lives in taking part in the policy of repression and destruction.
    We believe there is a different way.

Peretz Kidron plus 250 signatures of students facing their term of compulsory military service.

Follow the story at Yesh-Gvul: There are things that decent people don't do.

Under-Reported Stories of the Week

Rally mysteriously missing from the news

Every TV news show reported on the second anniversary of the invasion of Iraq, but none mentioned the hundreds of thousands of people who protested around the world. More than 25,000 marched in San Francisco, 20,000 in Los Angeles, tens of thousands more in 700 cities. Obviously not newsworthy.

    "The Pentagon has released the summary of a top secret Pentagon document, which sketches America's agenda for global military domination.
   "This redirection of America's military strategy seems to have passed virtually unnoticed. With the exception of The Wall Street Journal, not a word has been mentioned in the US media.
   "There has been no press coverage concerning this mysterious military blueprint. The latter outlines, according to the Wall Street Journal, America's global military design which consists in 'enhancing U.S. influence around the world', through increased troop deployments and a massive buildup of America's advanced weapons systems.     "While the document follows in the footsteps of the administration's 'preemptive' war doctrine as detailed by the Neocons' Project of the New American Century (PNAC), it goes much further in setting the contours of Washington's global military agenda.
   "It calls for a more 'proactive' approach to warfare, beyond the weaker notion of 'preemptive' and defensive actions, where military operations are launched against a 'declared enemy' with a view to 'preserving the peace' and 'defending America'.
   "The document explicitly acknowledges America's global military mandate, beyond regional war theaters. This mandate also includes military operations directed against countries, which are not hostile to America, but which are considered strategic from the point of view of US interests.
   "From a broad military and foreign policy perspective, the March 2005 Pentagon document constitutes an imperial design, which supports US corporate interests Worldwide."
- Michel Chossudovsky: America's Agenda for Global Military Domination -

Everybody has mentioned that our beloved president wants to save the life of Terri Schiavo. Nobody has mentioned that way back in 1999, when he was still Governor of Texas, Dubya signed a law which allowed hospitals to withdraw life support from patients, over the objections of the family, if they consider the treatment to be non-beneficial.

Don't Take My Word For It

     "The chronicles of the opium trade zigzag through early civilization from Mesopotamia to China and eventually wander to Neolithic southwestern Europe, where groups of early open-minded dump dwellers found the opium poppy plant, papaver somniferum, growing like a weed among piles of refuse. They soon discovered that not only would the plant seemingly thrive almost anywhere, but when eaten or brewed into a primitive tea, it even took the edge off of living in a dump.
    "During the 1800s, when the strong pain-killing alkaloid morphine was first isolated from the poppy and used in everything from battlefield amputations to snake oils and suspect tonics with names like 'Mister Jim's Special Relief for Facial Neuralgia' or 'Calmer's Baby Tonic for Calmer Babies,' the poppy's use as a tea fell out of practice. Purified morphine was cheaper than liquor, and a mix of the two, called laudanum, was sold by greedy, apple-cheeked pharmacists everywhere as a kind of cure-all. Once morphine was processed into brand-name heroin, the use of poppy tea just about came to an end, at least until eBay came onto the scene...
   "While becoming a worldwide garage sale, global swap meet and anthropologist's curio shop, eBay also had quite naturally become the official opium gray market to at least some of the masses."
- Porter Bartlett: Confessions of an eBay opium addict (the best piece of drug addled writing since the death of you know who) -

"Force is the vital principle and immediate parent of despotism."
- Thomas Jefferson -

"A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs."
- German Proverb -

"Watch out wen you'er gittin all you want. Fattenin hogs ain't in luck." 
- Uncle Remus Plantation Proverbs -

    "Democracy means many things. How do you define democracy? As a Chinese journalist, you may have your own definition of democracy which corresponds to your history and your way of seeing the world. I may have another definition. Someone else may have their own definitions. Democracy means a lot of different things.
    "Let me give an example. Democracy in one sense means the majority decides, but it also means the rights of the minority are protected. As UK late Prime Minister Winston Churchill said, democracy is the least bad system that we have ever thought of. So democracy is never perfect. It always has problems. Our democracy here in the US has many contradictions, problems and challenges. So democracy is not a cure that could turn everything bad into good. It has its own advantages and its disadvantages."
- Philip Bennett, Managing Editor of Washington Post: I don't think US should be the leader of the world -

"The Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions."
- Daniel Webster -

"The odds are that, if your country floats on a sea of oil of any size, it is probably being ruled by some sort of brutal dictatorship. If your country sits on a sea of oil and also helps the Bush administration in its 'War on Terror,' then the bloody dictator in charge can pretty much do whatever he wants to his own citizens, secure in the knowledge that America will not interfere with pesky notions, such as human rights, voting, democracy, freedom of the press, or political dissent. This is true, even if some of these same citizens should mysteriously disappear and then turn up later in a mass grave. Even those dictators who oppose Bush and his neo-con nation have their uses."
- Grady Hawkins: Bush Supports Dictators While Selling Democracy -

    "The United States is the world's largest debtor. Despite the continuing decline of the dollar's value in Europe, the United States ran a record global deficit of more than $600 billion last year. We will have to borrow nearly $2 billion a day from abroad. Under Clinton, during the high-tech boom, the United States could attract private and corporate investment in the real economy. Under Bush, real investment from abroad has dried up. Instead, a growing percentage of our foreign debt is financed by central banks, particularly China and Japan.
    "Essentially, the leaders of these countries are choosing to keep the value of their currencies low, while they take our jobs and lend us the money to import the products that we used to make. Last month, the textile imports from China soared over 500 percent, as prior trade limits expired by law. China is becoming the world's manufacturing center. We're already the world's leading credit card consumer.
    "Bush seems intent on running up this debt and sending the bill to our children, who will be forced to devote a significant portion of their lives working to pay interest to our Chinese and Japanese creditors.
    "We are now very dependent on the decisions of a handful of people at the top of the Chinese Communist Party. If they chose to stop buying our bonds, interest rates would soar and the economy would plummet."
- Jesse Jackson: Bush setting U.S. up for financial fall -

    "The Vienna Convention on Consular Relations gives people arrested abroad the right to contact their home countries' embassies or consulates. The United States signed the protocol to protect its own citizens.
    "The treaty gives the International Court of Justice in the Hague - the World Court - the final say in cases in which foreign citizens claim their access to their own consulates was denied.
    "The World Court ruled last year that the Mexican nationals were not given the treaty protection and required American state courts to grant 'review and reconsideration' to claims that their cases had been hurt because local authorities failed to allow them to contact their consulates.
    "The decision would not get the inmates off Death Row. It only required a hearing. But the Busheviks would have none of that. How dare anyone tell us what to do! We'll just withdraw from the protocol. Peter J. Spiro, an international law professor from the University of Georgia, told The New York Times that the United States' behavior was 'a sore-loser kind of move,' saying, 'If we can't win, we're not going to play.'
   "Ironically, the United States was the first nation to invoke the protocol when Iran took 52 American hostages at our embassy in Tehran in 1978 and the World Court upheld the U.S. position."
- Bill Gallagher: Bush Continues to Alienate World -

    "As everyone knows, in October 2003 the governor sent armed men to Terri's death bed, took her to a hospital and had surgery performed on her against her will.
    "The Florida Supreme Court said that was unconstitutional, and it also said there is absolutely nothing the Florida legislature can pass that can undo the result in Terri Schiavo's case. Yet, in response to political pressure, the legislature is poised to pass another unconstitutional bill.
    "And not only that, it's not just Floridians' rights that are at stake, but everyone in the country. There is a bill in the United States Congress, and this bill in the United States Congress would virtually let any family member bring a federal court habeas corpus proceeding, which would tie up a case like that for years in federal court, which would make it virtually impossible for anyone to remove artificial life support.
    "And I want to mention, too, for everyone listening out there, this bill, filed in federal court, does not pertain just to vegetative patients. It doesn't pertain just to removal of feeding tubes. It pertains to removal or refusal of any type of medical treatment."
- George Felos: Michael Schiavo's attorney on Nightline -

    "Terry does not respond to anybody. She makes noises. She moans. She's been doing the same things for the past 15 years. And they talk about their bona fide doctors. They have a list of doctors that signed affidavits from looking at a picture of Terry. That's where they get their information from, by looking at a picture. And then they sign an affidavit swearing that she's not in a vegetative stage. I'll tell you. That's a doctor you really want; they can look at a picture and make a diagnosis.
   "This is happening to my wife. Just because it's happened to Terri doesn't mean I don't still love her. She was a part of my life. She'll always be a part of my life. And to sit here and be called a murderer and an adulterer by people that don't know me, and a governor stepping into my personal, private life, who doesn't know me either? And using his personal gain to win votes, just like the legislators are doing right now, pandering to the religious right, to the people up there, the anti-abortion people, standing outside of Tallahassee. What kind of government is this? This is a human being. This is not right, and I'm telling everybody you better call your congressman, because they're going to run your life.     "And I just want to say one more thing: Out of all these lawmakers, be it the Florida Senate, Florida House, the U.S. Congress, Governor Bush, President Bush, I want to know who will come down and take Terri's place. Who wants to do that?"
- Michael Schiavo on Nightline -

"I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents."
- Sir Winston Churchill -

"Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life."
- Herbert Henry Asquith -

"Wagner's music is better than it sounds."
- Bill Nye -

    "Terrified at the prospect of an Iraq ruled by the majority of Iraqis, the former chief U.S. envoy, Paul Bremer, wrote election rules that gave the U.S.-friendly Kurds 27% of the seats in the national assembly, even though they make up just 15% of the population.
    "Skewing matters further, the U.S.-authored interim constitution requires that all major decisions have the support of two-thirds or, in some cases, three-quarters of the assembly - an absurdly high figure that gives the Kurds the power to block any call for foreign troop withdrawal, any attempt to roll back Bremer's economic orders, and any part of a new constitution.
    "Iraqi Kurds have a legitimate claim to independence, as well as very real fears of being ethnically targeted. But through its alliance with the Kurds, the Bush administration has effectively given itself a veto over Iraq's democracy - and it appears to be using it to secure a contingency plan should Iraqis demand an end to occupation.
    "Talks to form a government are stalled over the Kurdish demand for control over Kirkuk. If they get it, Kirkuk's huge oil fields would fall under Kurdish control. That means that if foreign troops are kicked out of Iraq, Iraqi Kurdistan can be broken off and Washington will still end up with a dependent, oil-rich regime - even if it's smaller than the one originally envisioned by the war's architects."
- Naomi Klein: Brand USA is in Trouble, So Take a Lesson from Big Mac. Instead of changing his foreign policy, President Bush is changing the story -

    "Let's start with the case of the bogus $600 billion.
    "In his Jan. 15 radio address, President Bush made a startling claim: 'According to the Social Security trustees, waiting just one year adds $600 billion to the cost of fixing Social Security.' The $600 billion cost of each year's delay has become a standard administration talking point, repeated by countless conservative pundits - who have apparently not looked at what the trustees actually said.
    "In fact, the trustees never said that waiting a year to 'fix' Social Security costs $600 billion. Mr. Bush was grossly misrepresenting the meaning of a technical discussion of accounting issues (it's on Page 58 of the 2004 trustees' report), which has nothing to do with the cost of delaying changes in the retirement program.
    "The same type of 'infinite horizon' calculation applied to the Bush tax cuts says that their costs rise by $1 trillion a year. That's not a useful measure of the cost of not repealing those cuts immediately.
    "So anyone who repeats the $600 billion line is helping to spread a lie."
- Paul Krugman: The $600 Billion Man -

    "A former U.S. Marine who participated in capturing ousted Iraqi President Saddam Hussein said the public version of his capture was fabricated.
    "Ex-Sgt. Nadim Abou Rabeh, of Lebanese descent, was quoted in the Saudi daily al-Medina Wednesday as saying Saddam was actually captured Friday, Dec. 12, 2003, and not the day after, as announced by the U.S. Army.
    "'I was among the 20-man unit, including eight of Arab descent, who searched for Saddam for three days in the area of Dour near Tikrit, and we found him in a modest home in a small village and not in a hole as announced,' Abou Rabeh said.
    "'We captured him after fierce resistance during which a Marine of Sudanese origin was killed,' he said.
    "He said Saddam himself fired at them with a gun from the window of a room on the second floor. Then they shouted at him in Arabic: 'You have to surrender... There is no point in resisting. Later on, a military production team fabricated the film of Saddam's capture in a hole, which was in fact a deserted well,' Abou Rabeh said."
- Ex-Marine Says Public Version of Saddam Capture Fiction -

"The U.S. Navy aircraft carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt is on the move in Atlantic Ocean and is possibly headed towards the Mediterranean Sea. The convergence of three carrier groups in the corridor of the Middle East will send very strong message to the Syrians and Iranians. There are indications that soon US is moving two more aircraft carrier battle groups to the Eastern Mediterranean Sea and the Persian Gulf. This will spell a formidable strike force for Iran and Syria who are in defiance on issues of Lebanon and Nuclear weapons development."
- Sudhir Chadda: Converging U.S. Navy aircraft carrier groups in Middle East send strong message to Iran and Syria -

    "The nuclear whistleblower Mordechai Vanunu reacted defiantly yesterday to criminal charges leveled by the Israeli authorities that could put him back in prison. He vowed to continue flouting orders that prohibit him from speaking to the foreign press because he believes that he has the right to freedom of speech.
   "Speaking through an intermediary from the cathedral in Jerusalem where he has sought sanctuary, Vanunu said he had always believed that the orders were unconstitutional and had therefore decided to ignore them. 'This is a human rights issue,' Vanunu said. 'I want to work for world peace and the abolition of nuclear weapons. I want the human race to survive.'"
- Peter Hounam: Vanunu defiant as Israel brings new charges -

"Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work."
- Gallagher -

"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?"
- Harry Shearer -

"An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought."
- Simon Cameron -

"I heard someone say
Good fences make good neighbors
The reverse is true"
- Koan by Zen Man -

"After the 2001 attacks, Bush broadened the CIA's authority and, as a result, the agency has rendered more than 100 people from one country to another without legal proceedings and without providing access to the International Committee of the Red Cross, a right afforded all prisoners held by the U.S. military."
- Dana Priest: CIA Challenged about Suspects' Torture Overseas -

    "I grew up in a small Midwestern town, just south of which stood a rendering plant. This plant's big orange trucks would travel far and wide to collect dead animals which were brought back to the plant to be rendered. We kids always called it the 'stink factory,' since the stench its processes produced was powerful indeed: the range of offense could be measured, quite literally, in miles. When we rode by it, we would all ritually hold our noses, regardless if we were up or downwind. In our minds, the factory became an objective correlative for disgust.
    "Yet the odor from this plant was nothing compared to the stench given off by the Bush administration's practice of spiriting off terror suspects to foreign countries, knowing full well that they will be rendered by those into whose hands we deliver them. That's 'rendered' [dictionary definition] number eleven: To reduce, convert, or melt down by heating.
    "'Extraordinary rendition' is, of course, a euphemism. In that respect it is like 'collateral damage.' Some among us have learned to read through the latter euphemism to see the horrific reality behind it: dead women and children, dead at the hands of our forces. So 'extraordinary rendition'? Let us call it what it is: the outsourcing of torture. Having other countries do our dirty work for us. And it stinks to high heaven."
- Dr. Kelly Anspaugh: We Have Become What We Claim To Loathe -

   "Brian Avery's ability to sue the Israeli government depends on his obtaining a medical opinion evaluating his present condition. This has not been a simple matter, even though Avery was willing to pay for the service. As Bilha Golan of Physicians for Human Rights relates, 'We contacted Dr. Zvi Ben-Ishai from Rambam Hospital and doctors from government hospitals, all of whom informed us that they could not furnish a medical opinion to be used in a suit against the government.'
   "The Department of Health explains that doctors who are government employees are prohibited from furnishing professional medical opinion that is to be used as testimony in suits against the government."
- Aviva Lori: Who Shot Brian Avery? (Translation of portions of the article's Hebrew version in the Ha'aretz Friday Magazine, March 18, but omitted from the English edition) -

    "We invaded Iraq. Change is afoot in the Middle East. Therefore, the Middle East is changing because we invaded Iraq. Q.E.D. G.W.B.
   "See how simple it is? And how illogical? The Bush White House has been masterful at this infantile reasoning: America is free and democratic. Terrorists attacked America. Therefore, terrorists hate freedom and democracy. And that's all anyone needs to know."
- Arianna Huffington: The Washington Establishment Fails Logic 101 -

"When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us vs. them, and it was clear who them was. Today, we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there."
- Dubya: Iowa Western Community College, Jan 21, 2000 -

"Myth: Casual sex is meaningless, animalistic, and only about sexual gratification. When I've had sex recently (which, contrary to what some may think, usually happens about once a month - if I'm lucky), it's been with people I'm attracted to, but for various reasons couldn't see myself in a relationship with. Yet that doesn't mean that our sex has only been about getting off. In fact, I've been surprised at how profound these brief connections have proven. During one- or several-night stands, I've gotten a glimpse into my lovers' minds and libidos, and have often continued friendships that go beyond sex. I usually sleep with people I truly care about, and while we may be in it for physical pleasure, that doesn't mean I leave my heart at the bedroom door."
- Rachel Kramer Bussel: Casual-Sex Myths - Harmless hookups offer hot no-strings action, but still get a bad rap -

    "As you may have heard, the Constitution says that 'Congress shall make no law... abridging the freedom of speech.' You might gather from this that Congress can make no law abridging the freedom of speech. But Senator Ted Stevens (R-AK) is pushing legislation to restrict what cable TV channels can show on their networks. Senator Stevens says this isn't 'censorship' (which, of course, would be unconstitutional), it's simply establishing a 'standard of decency.'
   "Pretty soon they could start passing legislation that would imprison you for criticizing the administration, praying, sweating, having sex, doing crossword puzzles, leaving your home after 7pm, or maybe even watching anything other than Fox TV News.
    "If anyone complains that such laws are unconstitutional, they'll simply tell you that these aren't laws; they're 'directives,' and so they're not bound by the Constitution."
- Harry Browne: Libertarian presidential candidate in 1996 and 2000 -

    "Observing the two-year anniversary of the killing of Rachel Corrie on March 16, 2003, Amnesty International USA (AIUSA) today called on Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice to support an independent investigation of her death. Corrie, a U.S. citizen, was apparently trying to stop the demolition of a Palestinian building in the Rafah refugee camp in the Gaza Strip when an Israeli army bulldozer ran her over, crushing her to death.
    "Amnesty International believes that investigations into Corrie's death, conducted by the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF), failed to resolve contradictions between the official IDF position and eyewitness testimonies. Although this year's Department of State Country Report on Human Rights Practices for Israel agreed, stating bluntly that 'U.S. officials who have seen the IDF report found inconsistencies among the statements of the people involved in the accident and other witnesses,' there is no indication that the US has sought further investigation of these inconsistencies. While the US government has assisted in the investigations into cases of US citizens killed by Palestinian armed groups, it has failed to do so in Corrie's case, raising the appearance of a double standard."
- The Killing of Rachel Corrie -

    "The parents of a 23-year-old activist killed while trying to prevent the demolition of a Palestinian home is suing Caterpillar Inc., the company that made the bulldozer that ran over her.
    "The federal lawsuit, which lawyers said would be filed here Tuesday, alleges that Caterpillar violated international and state law by providing specially designed bulldozers to Israeli Defense Forces that it knew would be used to demolish homes and endanger people.
    "Rachel Corrie, a student at The Evergreen State College in Olympia, was standing in front of a home in a refugee camp in Rafah, near the Egyptian border, in March of 2003 when a bulldozer plowed over her.
    "'The brutal death of my daughter should never have happened,' Corrie's mother, Cindy Corrie, said in a statement released by the Center for Constitutional Rights, a law firm handling the case. 'We believe Caterpillar and the (Israeli Defense Forces) must be held accountable for their role in the attack.'" 
- Kin of Slain Protester Suing Caterpillar -

    "On Thursday, Mordechai Vanunu was taken from his temporary refuge in St. George's Cathedral in East Jerusalem and charged with 21 counts of violating the terms of his semi-freedom. It was not the first time that he had been called to the prosecutor's office, but since his case is due to be reviewed by the Israeli government early in April, this may be a warning of what is to come.
    "What the government now has to do is to decide whether to let Vanunu leave the country, or whether to re-impose, for a second year, the tough restrictions under which he has lived since his release from prison: no contact with foreign journalists, no freedom to leave Israel, permission to move from Jerusalem only on condition that he reports each day to the police.
    "Vanunu has breached the first condition repeatedly, giving interviews to all who make the journey to East Jerusalem. When able to, he has used the Internet to keep in touch with reporters, human rights groups and friends all over the world. The question now is whether Israel decides to punish him further."
- Caroline Moorehead: A victim of Israel's nuclear taboo -

"The strong man is not the good wrestler; the strong man is only the one who controls himself when he is angry."
- Prophet Muhammad -

"Why not go out on a limb? That's where the fruit is."
- Will Rogers -

"To be a person of truth, be swayed neither by approval nor disapproval. Work at not needing approval from anyone and you will be free to be who you really are."
- Rebbe Nachman of Breslov -

    "'Two brothers own 80 percent of the [voting] machines used in the United States,' Teresa Heinz Kerry told a group of Seattle guests at a March 7, 2005 lunch for Representative Adam Smith, according to reporter Joel Connelly in an article in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. Connelly noted Heinz Kerry added that it is 'very easy to hack into the mother machines.'
   "The two brothers Mrs. Kerry is referencing are, according to voting machine expert (and founder of www.BanVotingMachines.org) Lynn Landes, in an article for the Online Journal, Bob Urosevich, president of Diebold Election Systems, and Todd Urosevich, who was vice president for customer support of Chuck Hagel's old company, now known as ES&S.
    "Presumably the 'mother machines' Teresa was talking about are the 'central tabulator' computers, like the Windows-based Diebold central tabulator PC that Howard Dean hacked into and untraceably changed an election on - in 90 seconds - live on the "Topic A With Tina Brown" CNBC TV show late last year."
- Thom Hartmann: Teresa Heinz Kerry - Hacking the "Mother Machine?" -

    "Promise Made: Schwarzenegger had pledged last year not to take any more of that money after schools had agreed to billions of dollars in reductions in the current budget. (Los Angeles Times, 2/25/05)
    "Promise Broken: Rudy M. Castruita, San Diego County superintendent of schools, in an op-ed titled Broken promises on state education said, 'When Arnold Schwarzenegger campaigned for governor of California, I joined other educators throughout the state in supporting him because of his pledge to make public education a priority of his administration. We continued to support the governor last year, when he asked for $2 billion in education funds to balance the budget. After all, education was his stated priority and he made a specific promise to our teachers and students to restore the funds, as 'required by law,' he said. But the governor has now broken his promise to students, teachers and voters. He has vowed not to restore those funds in the education budget.' (San Diego Union-Tribune, 3/7/05)"
- Arnold's Broken Promise of the Day -

    "In 1984, Winston Smith worked for the Ministry of Truth, in the department that rewrote past news items to make them conform to the present political realities. As his assignments came in, his daily creative endeavors concerned intuiting how the party might want this done. Winston says, 'All that was needed was an unending series of victories over your own memory.' It's uncanny how close his job seems to today's lackey editors.
    "Imagine today's news correspondents' mental gymnastics. They were wringing their hands over the Ukrainian exit polls, using them as a basis to call that election into question, but they were unable to mention (or remember?) what had occurred in their own country only weeks before. Straight-faced irony worthy of Winston Smith."
- Robert Kane Pappas: Reflections on Orwell, 2005 -

"Maybe this world is just another planet's hell."
- Aldous Huxley -

Everything Else

Go here to join U.S. Sen. Barbara Boxer's boycott of oil companies that plan to drill in the protected Arctic National Wildlife Refuge in Alaska.

Wanna get depressed? Read the raw data that proves that Diebold rigged the Op-Scan voting machines in Florida.

Don't let what's happening to Terri Schiavo happen to you. Go to the Living Will Registry.

Check out The Final Builds Site for alternative programs to play QuickTime and RealAudio files.

When I Came Home is a documentary which follows the lives and struggles of several homeless veterans, including those who have recently returned home from the war in Iraq. The film examines the factors which led over 150,000 Vietnam veterans from the battlefield to the street and asks the question: Will what happened to Vietnam veterans happen to a new generation of soldiers? The film also focuses on the veteran-led movement which is fighting to end this national disgrace. Watch it for free here.
 

Remember, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.