The Only Daily That Comes Out Weekly
Issue #148
...is brought to you by...
Easter
The Only Daily That Comes Out Weekly
Issue #148
...is brought to you by...
Easter
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by Michael Dare Rereading a book
that influenced you years ago is like revisiting the house you grew up
in. Everything seems smaller. And so I approached re-reading Fear &
Loathing in Las Vegas with fear and trepidation. I'd read it when it
first came out in 1971 and haven't approached it since. This time it was
very very different.
Same with F&L. The
biggest surprise was discovering how very very VERY little there was about
the story he was supposed to be covering, as though he couldn't be bothered,
as though it was an inconvenience. The book is 10% the dirtbike race or
narc convention and 90% the hilarious ravings of a madman whose behavior
points to a very long jail term. Usually only those who are writing memoirs
from prison, who have already been found guilty so it's pointless to deny,
have the bravery to admit such lunacy. It turns out the most important
thing he did wasn't so much stylistic as the simple fact that he had the
balls to admit to such bad behavior. The book is full of things which,
if you did, you'd never tell anybody, much less your editor at a major
magazine.
Hunter's last passion was the
case of Lisl Auman. According to Hey Rube, "Lisl Auman, a 20-year
old girl with no criminal record, was convicted of Felony Murder in Denver
for a crime that occurred while she was handcuffed and chained in a Police
car. She is the only person ever convicted in the history of Colorado for
a murder committed while the defendant was in official police custody -
and then she was sentenced to spend the rest of her life in state prison,
without any possibility of Parole." Hunter would have been glad to find
out Lisl's conviction was
overturned on March 28.
"Pearl Harbor was 60
years ago, before we had TV and computers to keep us totally informed.
When half the U.S. Navy was destroyed by Japanese bombs, at least we knew
who did it, where they lived, and that news was spread all over the world
in a matter of minutes, with eyewitness accounts and photos of burning
battleships.
"We are living in dangerously weird times now. Smart people just shrug and admit they're dazed and confused. The only ones left with any confidence at all are the New Dumb. It is the beginning of the end of our world as we knew it. Doom is the operative ethic." "Gore will be remembered as the Hapless, worm-eaten Dunce who fumbled the White House away to a gang of sleazy Oilmongers from Texas who promised nothing for sure except a collapsing Market & heavy punishment for any degenerate fool who indulges in Oral Sex on U.S. government property. Al Gore defied all known Trends, Odds, & laws of Probability by running for President as co-architect of the greatest prosperity in American history & still losing." "The horrible reality of being suddenly stone broke and homeless is more than most people in this country can handle. They will literally seize up and go mad. Your everyday Nervous Breakdown is nothing compared to the hopeless Craziness of a man who woke up in the morning as a Prince and goes to bed as a Toad. That is a guaranteed overweening shock to the Central Nervous System: if you don't go insane from suddenly having to see everything in the world from a point only two inches high, your brain will surely be churned into cream by having to crawl, headfirst, with your eyes open, down a muddy hole in the ground just to have a place to sleep." "But wait! Don't touch that dial! Stay tuned for the Point of this story - which is the downward Spiral of Dumbness that threatens to drag all of us down in the Mother of all killer whirlpools. It is the natural law of any Market economy that a rising tide lifts all boats (for 12 hours) - and unless the moon gets blown off its axis by some Pentagon dingbat who wants to 'teach China a lesson,' the same law applies with Low Tides." "This is going to be a very expensive war, and Victory is not guaranteed - for anyone, and certainly not for a baffled little creep like George W. Bush. All he knows is that his father started the war a long time ago, and that he, the goofy child-President, has been chosen by Fate and the global Oil industry to finish it off. He can declare a National Security Emergency and clamp down Hard on Everybody, no matter where they live or why. If the guilty won't hold up their hands and confess, he and the Generals will ferret them out by force." "It happens very suddenly, as high-speed collisions always do, and everything in your world disappears in a bright orange flash. There is no immediate pain, because you are knocked out cold like a dead fish. No noise, no feeling, no consciousness. That terrible THUD of impact is the last thing some people ever hear. You are 'on your way out,' as the Doctors like to say." [eerie] "Freelance writers almost never make enough money to live on, much less ride exotic motorcycles and buy season tickets to 49er games. But I am here to tell you that it can be done - and done without ever resorting to shadowy gigs like pimping or selling drugs. There were times when I was sorely tempted, due to overwhelming poverty, but I have always believed that anybody with a personal lifestyle as flagrant as mine should have a spotless criminal record, if only for reasons of karma." "What the fuck is going
on here? How could this once-proud nation have changed so much, so drastically,
in only two years - almost three, to be sure. In what seems like the blink
of an eye, this George Bush has brought us from a prosperous nation at
peace to a broke nation at war. And why are we killing each other at point-blank
range on the other side of the world - with big guns and big bombs that
kill everything in reach?
"The American nation
is in the worst condition I can remember in my lifetime, and our prospects
for the immediate future are even worse. I am surprised and embarrassed
to be a part of the first American generation to leave the country in far
worse shape than it was when we first came into it. Our highways system
is crumbling, our police are dishonest, our children are poor, our vaunted
Social Security, once the envy of the world, has been looted and neglected
and destroyed by the same gang of ignorant, greed-crazed bastards who brought
us Vietnam, Afghanistan, the disastrous Gaza Strip, and ignominious defeat
all over the world.
- HST: Hey Rube -
"Walk tall, kick ass, learn to speak Arabic,
love music and never forget you come from a long line of truth seekers,
lovers and warriors."
"Admiration, n: Our polite recognition of
another's resemblance to ourselves."
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Posted April 19, 2005
Stupid Answers of the Week Locke Milholland asked: Is Gonzo Journalism named in honor of Gonzo from the Muppets, or is Gonzo from the Muppets named after Gonzo Journalism? The term was first used in print by Thompson in 1971,
but he later (in Pollack's
Stop Presses) claimed the term was coined
by one of his editors: "Gonzo all started with Bill Cardosa,after I wrote
the Kentucky Derby piece for Scanlan's- the first time I realized you could
write different. And I got this note from Cardosa saying, 'That was pure
Gonzo journalism!'...Some Boston word for weird, bizarre." There is no
evidence to support Thompson's claim that it was a Boston regionalism.
It may be based on either the Italian Gonzo or fool on the Spanish ganso,
goose or fool.-- Wordorigins.org
nugent was gonzo
By the Old Ones! These are stupid questions. The
muppet Gonzo is in no way associated with Hunter Thompson, other than the
fact that they liked to eat mescaline together and fuck chickens. Gonzo
was the first acknowledged chicken-fucker on TV, a lot of people forget
that. He is scheduled for termination in early 2006.
The answer is simple. Gonzo is Gonzo is Gonzo. A
Gonzo by any other name would still smell like a biker hen on an acid trip.
On the other hand (literally), journalists are muppets with big corporate
hands up their butts making them say stupid things in funny voices to amuse
children under the guise of educating them.
Spare Ribs asked: What happens to amputated body parts? Many people who have had a body part amputated place
their amputated body part beneath their pillow over night. The amputated
body part fairy will leave them a dime for amputated body part. After collecting
several amputated body parts, the amputated body part fairy sells the body
parts, in bulk, on E-bay. If you don't follow the tradition of placing
your amputated body part beneath a pillow, the amputated body part is sometimes
sent to the amputated body part morgue for preparation to be buried in
an amputated body part cemetery. In other cases, the body part is simply
tossed into a bin with this sign on it: "toss amputated body parts here."
Some countries have an annual amputated body part memorial day to honor
those who have had body parts amputated.
fingertip is gone.
Scientists harvest their DNA to create clones who
are then encased in white PVC armor and sold to the Empire to repress entire
star systems that are currently slipping through George Lucas' fingers.
The remaining cellular material is pureed into a slurry to feed the gigantic,
3 billion year old alien brain living in a cave beneath Skywalker Ranch.
They're used to make realistic plastic models for
road crash testing, and for Karl Rove to experiment with, under the White
House. Tom Delay eats what's left.
Some, apparently, serve as evidence in food spoliation
lawsuits. Some are sold to second hand shops all around the nation. The
rest, and by far the most, are used by recycled parts suppliers and junk
yards as conversation pieces and curios. With great difficulty I am refraining
from responding that they are detached and remain separate and apart for
the balance of their days,
They do not amputate in the biggest medical hoax.
They jamb the limb inside like mating socks. That is why the limb still
itches.
Amputated limbs and cancerous organs are sent immediately
to a large incinerator in the shadowy bowels of the hospital. After being
picked clean of nutrients by various ravenous humanoid types (like the
ones in the X-Files! Gosh!) they are cremated. The ashes are mixed with
hashish oil and smeared upon the bodies of RNC contributors. Never say
they didn't get anything for their money.
Jeff Crook asked: Do you think that the (as-yet unconfirmed) lion-killer apes of Central Africa are a new ape species, or are they just sexually-frustrated bonobos who were converted by Christian missionaries? Or did Diane Fossey fake her own beheading and hook up with Dr. Moreau to create a new master race of super apes who will one day dominate the world and enslave humanity until Charlton Heston comes through time to save us? 1) Both. See my new expose, What the sexually
frustrated missionaries did with the Bonobos.
moreau? fossey? apes?
And for the God's Sake, Chuck Heston died for our
Sins in 'Beneath the Planet that went Ape'. To make allusions questioning
the Sanctity of His Sacrifice is Supreme Heresy. Just look at our Chosen
Leader. His Chimp-like visage stands in mute testimony to the unraveled
time-line. We need never fear a simian take-over besides which we have
already experienced. Praise St. Heston!!
Stupid Question of the Week Michael Jackson may have to sell off portions of the Beatle catalogue to pay for his legal fees. What songs would be the most appropriate? a) Help
Send your answers to stupidquestion@disinfotainmenttoday.com. Best Excuse for Converting to Judaism You don't have to wear Christian T-shirts. Super Patriotic Rock Whizbang of the Week America We Stand as One, or download directly. Guaranteed to make you salute and/or barf. Message from the Iraqi Resistance to the People of the World People of the world!
These words come to you from those who up to the day of the invasion were
struggling to survive under the sanctions imposed by the criminal regimes
of the U.S. and Britain.
Those Evil, Terrorist Loving "Libruls"
- thoughtcrimes - Insane E-Mails of the Week From: Trisa Liles [tliles@cinci.rr.com]
DEAR WWW.,
Dear Satan,
Censored 2005: The Top 25 Censored Media Stories of 2003-2004 #1:
Wealth Inequality in 21st Century Threatens Economy and Democracy
Do-it-Yourself Joke of the Week Fill in the blank... "If ignorance is bliss, ___________ are the happiest people on earth." a) Republicans
Satan Doesn't Want You to Know To guarantee someone will call you back after leaving a message on their voice mail, say, "Hello, my name is so-and-so and my telephone number is such-and-such. I'm calling because I understand you're the person to speak to about... " and then hang up the phone mid-sentence. The person will think you were cut off and will call back to see what the end of the sentence was. Letter to the Senate Foreign Relations Committee Dear Sir:
Respectfully yours,
Don't Take My Word For It "A report
to the UN human rights commission in Geneva has concluded that Iraqi children
were actually better off under Saddam Hussein than they are now.
"Unknown to many members of the
church, however, Ratzinger's past includes brief membership of the Hitler
Youth movement and wartime service with a German army anti-aircraft unit."
"It was fixed, I tell you, fixed.
Just like Florida. Just like Ohio. Al Gore is the REAL new Pope. Grrrr,
it makes me so mad."
"Thirty years
ago, 1975, Gerald Ford was President of the United Sates. His Chief of
Staff was Dick Cheney. His Secretary of Defense was Donald Rumsfeld. Paul
Wolfowitz was heading-up the international arms-control end of things.
All of these positions related directly to national security. While these
men were looking after the nation's safety, they and President Ford concluded
that Iran needed to supplement its energy system by adding nuclear power.
The nuclear energy project that these men approved would have netted certain
US corporations billions of dollars. Had the Shah of Iran...a blood-bought
servant of US corporate interests...not soon been overthrown by his own
countrymen, the big-wigs at Westinghouse or General Electric...or perhaps
both...would have amassed personal fortunes from this one project, alone.
Some of the stockholders would have also made bundles on the deal...
"No doubt
the major U.S. energy companies would love to be working with Iran today
in developing these vast oil and gas supplies. At present, however, they
are prohibited from doing so by Executive Order (EO) 12959, signed by President
Clinton in 1995 and renewed by President Bush in March 2004...
"It's hard
to believe it's been almost three years since my
Papal audience. Yes, ours was a brief meeting, but from it I took away
a very clear picture. A picture not just of a stooped, wrinkly little albino
gremlin but a picture of a man of great influence and curious contradictions.
"Can there be anyone worse than
John Paul? Yes, there is: The borderline insane people who are chanting
'Santo subito!' ('make him a saint soon') at his funeral mass. Make a man
who protects men who pimped the children of their own congregations to
sexual predators a saint? It's a good thing they believe Jesus was resurrected,
otherwise he would be spinning in his tomb like a whirling dervish by now."
"I think of birth as the search
for a larger apartment."
"In the few
weeks before its fall, Iraq's Ba'athist regime made a series of increasingly
desperate peace offers to Washington, promising to hold elections and even
to allow US troops to search for banned weapons. But the advances were
all rejected by the Bush administration, according to intermediaries involved
in the talks. As US and British troops massed in the Gulf, Iraqi intelligence
sent out a range of compromise feelers through a number of channels in
the apparent hope of forestalling the invasion or at least buying time...
"One basic truth can be used
as a foundation for a mountain of lies, and if we dig down deep enough
in the mountain of lies, and bring out that truth, to set it on top of
the mountain of lies; the entire mountain of lies will crumble under the
weight of that one truth. And there is nothing more devastating to a structure
of lies than the revelation of the truth upon which the structure of lies
was built, because the shock waves of the revelation of the truth reverberate,
and continue to reverberate throughout the Earth for generations to follow,
awakening even those people who had no desire to be awakened to the truth."
"Haley Dawson
has never been a stripper. But Ohio liquor-control agents took her identity
and gave it to a 22-year-old college student who they had recruited to
work undercover as a nude dancer.
"Many in the military
believe the war is a disaster. Never has there been such bad feelings between
the military and civilian leadership in the Pentagon. It is unreasonable
to expect our military to continue absorbing losses for a war we didn't
have to fight. Before the war we thumbed our nose at most of the rest of
the world. We can hardly expect them to come to our rescue putting their
lives on the line for miscalculations of the Bush Administration...
"The nationalist not only does
not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, he has a remarkable
capacity for not even hearing about them."
"The truth is that you cannot
even begin to make a justification for the war unless you take into account
the lives of innocent Iraqis lost as a result of it. The simplest way to
deal with that is to pretend that these deaths do not exist - the occupying
powers simply do not count them. The only other defense is that their deaths
are a price worth paying and that good things can come from bad acts -
a claim every bit as offensive and wrong-headed as arguing that 9/11 was
a price worth paying for waking America up to the consequences of its foreign
policy."
"Life swings like a pendulum
backward and forward between pain and boredom."
"To achieve a sustainable economy
and avert disaster, the United States must reduce its population by at
least one-third."
"Michael
Moore's Fahrenheit 911 showed Saudi Arabia in a negative light. There
have been other 'investigative reports' since then that have done the same.
First they try and win you over to their side by showing the Bush family
ties with the bin Ladens. Then they show how the bin Ladens were supporting
Osama. Then they try to convince you that Osama was behind the World Trade
Center bombings and other terrorist attacks. Don't be fooled! George Bush
and Ariel Sharon were behind the world trade center attacks! Just see who
gained the most from these attacks. Osama, like Saddam
Hussein were CIA assets that they turned on and made into villains
to further Illuminati plans. Just as Saudi Arabia was an ally of the United
States and is becoming the scapegoat. Whenever you see any kind of news
story and it mentions Osama, you can bet it is a load of crap. Just the
fact that the last 3 Osama bin Laden recordings have been faked makes it
doubtful that he is even alive. In fact anything after this
interview given on Aug. 16, 2001 is highly suspect. But just like with
Elvis, that won't stop new recordings from being released.
"Happiness, n: an agreeable sensation,
arising from contemplating the misery of others."
"[Benjamin Franklin] said, 'Well,
I say "yes" to this constitution, with all its faults. We need good governance
for a while, and this constitution will assure us of good governance for
a number of years.' Then he said, 'This constitution will fail, as others
have before it, and that will be due to the corruption of the people, for
whom in the end only despotism will serve.' This was a famous speech in
its day. I went through a dozen high school history books of the United
States. Part of the speech is given; what I just quoted is never quoted.
So that was the first 'nay' vote to the constitution, which I think most
thoughtful people - the good thing about it is the Bill of Rights, which
guarantees us freedom of speech and so on. The bad things are the powers
given to the President, which have now been absolutely inflated out of
control, where the President is almost a permanent dictator with the power
to declare pre-emptive war any time he likes. Now, George Washington would
be out of his mind, and he was the first President. He didn't want powers
to say, 'I think terrorists might be livin' over there. I think we better
hit Denmark. Denmark's a good place to hit. We'll hit 'em because there
could be terrorists there.' This is the rationale of the so-called Bush
doctrine, and it is insane."
"Never believe anything until
it has been officially denied."
"You have to believe that, just
when Bremer has appointed the gangster of hate to dry out the two rivers
(Rafidain) in order for us to die of thirst and to burn the crops so as
we die of hunger, and demolishing of homes of religion and prayers and
destroying the state and history. Yes, believe it, after seeing the documents
which scandalize the sons of poisonous snakes. They have given for free,
all Iraqi weapons and arms to Stoffel , Bush's envoy in Iraq. The actual
value of these military equipments was 40 billion dollars. It is the biggest
crime that has ever been committed through the ages and wars, which has
never happened or been heard of through the history of mankind. This theft
was committed by an order from the United States and England and with the
full agreement and acknowledgment of Alawi, the Chalabi and Al-Shaalan."
"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would
rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should
be stifled by dryrot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of
me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper
function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in
trying to prolong them. I shall use my time."
"It was very prominent in
this country in the build-up to welfare reform in the mid-nineties, with
constant attacks on the poorest of the poor, that people who need to rely
on welfare now and then are lazy, and promiscuous and addicted. The mindset
that working people are lazy is part of a larger view that poverty is the
result of a character defect or a set of character defects -- that people
don't know how to look ahead and only seek out personal gratification and
so forth.
"The basic tool for the manipulation of reality
is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words,
you can control the people who must use the words."
"Over 11,000 children were
sexually abused and close to $1 billion in settlement money has been paid
out, but the pope did not go much beyond decrying the sins of some of our
brothers. He never met with any victims, he never offered practical solutions
to dealing with the problem, he never addressed the decades-long cover-up
of the abuse. He even rejected a zero tolerance policy calling for the
immediate removal of molester-priests, concerned that it was too harsh.
"It is not a way of life that a wise man proposes,
but a way around life."
"If you mean whiskey, the devil's brew, the
poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason,
destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the
bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean that evil drink that
topples Christian men and women from the pinnacles of righteous and gracious
living into the bottomless pits of degradation, shame, despair, helplessness,
and hopelessness, then, my friend, I am opposed to it with every fiber
of my being. However, if by whiskey you mean the oil of conversation, the
philosophic wine, the elixir of life, the ale that is consumed when good
fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm glow
of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer, the stimulating
sip that puts a little spring in the step of an elderly gentleman on a
frosty morning; if you mean that drink that enables man to magnify his
joy, and to forget life's great tragedies and heartbreaks and sorrow; if
you mean that drink the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold
millions of dollars each year, that provides tender care for our little
crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitifully aged and
infirm, to build the finest highways, hospitals, universities, and community
colleges in this nation, then my friend, I am absolutely, unequivocally
in favor of it. This is my position, and as always, I refuse to be compromised
on matters of principle."
"When a thing has been said, and said well,
have no scruple. Take it and copy it."
"Your vision will become clear only when you
look into your heart - Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens."
"Where's the 'Any' key?"
"The question of sexual dominance can exist
only in the nightmare of that soul which has armed itself, totally, against
the possibility of the changing motion of conquest and surrender, which
is love."
"After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask
why I have no monument than why I have one."
"He who walks joyfully in rank and file has
already earned my contempt."
"When I took office, only high energy physicists
had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web... Now even my cat has
its own page."
"Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them
down to your level."
"The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort
the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This
will show others how kind-hearted and loving you are and their improved
opinion of you will be very comforting."
"The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice." - Doug Larson - "I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining
friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People
know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their
great respect, they don't even invite me."
"Security at U.S. airports
is no better under federal control than it was before the Sept. 11 attacks,
a key House member says two government reports will conclude. The Government
Accountability Office - the investigative arm of Congress - and the Homeland
Security Department's inspector general are expected to soon release their
findings on the performance of Transportation Security Administration screeners.
"I have too much respect for the idea of God
to make it responsible for such an absurd world."
"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead
where there is no path and leave a trail."
"Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve
mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major
it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably
stood out as a man lacking more distinction than the rest, and people who
met him were always impressed with how unimpressive he was."
"To learn the path it is important to be sharp
yet inconspicuous. When you are sharp, you are not confused by people;
when you are inconspicuous, you don't contend with people. Not being confused
by people, you are empty and spiritual; not contending with people, you
are serene and subtle."
"Be careful about reading health books. You
may die of a misprint."
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend
toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having
the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable
for their apparent disinclination to do so."
"Non-violence is the greatest force at the
disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction
devised by the ingenuity of man."
"Where's my umbrella?"
"Research on bread indicates
that:
"Banking establishments are more dangerous
than standing armies."
"There are more fools in the world than there
are people."
"All the world's a stage and most of us are
desperately unrehearsed."
"The word 'politics' is derived from the word
'poly,' meaning 'many,' and the word 'ticks,' meaning 'blood sucking parasites'."
"I have never made but one prayer to God, a
very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."
"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."
"Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the
truth."
"America is the wealthiest nation on Earth,
but it's people are mainly poor, and poor Americans are urged to hate themselves....
It is in fact a crime for an American to be poor, even though America is
a nation of poor. Every other nation has folk traditions of men who were
poor but extremely wise and virtuous, and therefore more estimable than
anyone with power and gold. No such tales are told by American poor. They
mock themselves and glorify their betters."
"Patriotism is your conviction that this country
is superior to all other countries because you were born in it."
"If I were granted omnipotence, and millions
of years to experiment in, I should not think Man much to boast of as the
final result of all my efforts."
"It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something
stupid to say and say the opposite."
"The best argument against democracy is a five
minute conversation with the average voter."
"Evil will always prevail, because good is
dumb."
"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable
that we have to alter it every six months."
"Never let your sense of morals get in the
way of doing what's right."
"Learning to dislike children at an early age
saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life."
"A group of white South Africans recently killed
a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed
him because he was a lawyer."
"Nothing has changed. The only difference is
that we were once ruled by a dictator and now we are ruled by clowns."
Everything Else These guys sell armored cars that look just like regular cars, so when the terrorists attack you to steal your children, you'll be fucking ready for them. According to the site, "heads of state, religious leaders, industrialists, and corporate executives. No one is safe from the threat of terrorist attacks!" I guess that means you. Get one today. Of the 10,472 criminals arrested in the largest coordinated crackdown by federal, state and local law enforcement officials in history, "150 of those nabbed April 4-10 were wanted for murder, 550 were sought on rape or sexual assault charges, and more than 600 had outstanding arrest warrants for armed robbery." Which leaves me wondering how many of the other 9,172 criminals were guilty of smoking a joint at a rock concert. Come on, admit it, you had no idea that the USA PATRIOT act actually stood for Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism. The largest group hug of all time involved 5,117 people at St. Matthew's secondary school in Orleans, Ontario, Canada. They hugged each other for 10 seconds on April 23, 2004 in support of a local cancer charity, according to the special 50th anniversary edition of The Guinness World Records. I say we can do better. 6,000 people are hereby invited to my place for a hug. Write for directions. I can't believe you don't know about
my
trip to Disneyland with Eugene Ionesco.
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and so is Issue
#149.
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vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Halliburton -
vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Bechtel -
vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Saddam Hussein
- vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Osama bin Laden
-
thetwins@whitehouse.gov
Contact Jeb Bush - jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact Fidel Castro
- jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact Kim Jong Il -
eng-info@kcna.co.jp
Contact Jacques Chirac
- france-presse@un.int
Contact the Pope - accreditamenti@pressva.va
Contact God - president@whitehouse.gov
Am I supposed to believe
you don't drink coffee?
You need a Disinfotainment
Today mug.
Boo hoo
My back is killing me.
Won't
you buy me a Vietnamese Masseuse?
or
Buy
my novel
Read
the first chapter
"It's a charming story, very
funny and I hope he writes a lot more.
- Lynette Sheffield -
Acknowledgment
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's fair use.
Thanks,
Yoko Mover Heer
Your Very Special Gif for Making it to the Bottom of the Page
