The Only Daily That Comes Out Weekly
Issue #156
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The Only Daily That Comes Out Weekly
Issue #156
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Posted June 13, 2005 Michael's Song They can play in his park unafraid
He can write a tune that's nice and lilty
He has made a promise you can trust
Michael swoons
When he goes to court he always wins
When it comes to ten o'clock or more
Newsical Muse
Might I mention that every parent on earth has shared their bed with their children, so it is basically an acceptable activity, only bad when it goes too far. Unfortunately, one of the first signs that an adult has gone too far is that they have shared their bed with their children, so an acceptable activity is often used as evidence against them. I've faced some of the same charges as Michael Jackson, having to defend myself for the heinous crime of sleeping with children, and I was guilty. Any parent who turns down their kid who wants to crawl into bed with them when they've had a nightmare is an asshole. All I could say to the court was Yeah, and so what? You want to infer something, infer it. There was nothing they could do because in cases like these, only the participants know for sure if the activity was innocent, and innocence is so much harder to prove. Try proving to a judge or jury that you didn't scratch your head yesterday. Only when it's other people's children and you're a rock star with unacceptable plastic surgery does it begin to look peculiar. My case was chickenshit next to Michael's. I wasn't on trial for touching children who came to my amusement park and spent the night. That would demand a different tactic, and it seemed to me there was only one perfect defense - Michael had to be seen out on the town with some righteous babes to prove his heterosexual gusto. These charges would never stick against Kid Rock because we know he's bangin' the hell out of Pamela Anderson. I mean if Michael Jackson isn't fucking these children, then who's he fucking? Nobody? Unlikely. He needed to answer the question in a blatantly macho manner. I expected to see him on the cover of People, drunk at a strip club with his paws on Paris Hilton but no, Michael obviously nixed that strategy because he couldn't, not even for one simple photo shoot, pretend he was interested in fucking adult women. And he got off anyway. They couldn't prove their case because, damn it, Michael was smart enough not to leave any DNA in any innocent orifices. Of course they couldn't prove it. Neither side could prove anything. I don't think the jury found him innocent. I think they found him guilty but didn't give a fuck. It was jury nullification. They judged the law, not Michael. Yeah, he did it. So what? What are amusement parks for if not to give pleasure to children, and who knows what makes kids happy these days? And imagine Michael's future, a deranged ex-rock star with his face falling off in a delapidated amusement park dreaming of the days when it was full of the laughter of little boys, a curious cross between Howard Hughes, Citizen Kane, and Phantom of the Opera. He's going to be entertaining for years to come. "For more than six hundred years - that is,
since Magna Carta, in 1215 - there has been no clearer principle of English
or American constitutional law, than that: in criminal cases, it is not
only the right and duty of juries to judge what are the facts, what is
the law, and what was the moral intent of the accused; but that it is also
their right, and their primary and paramount duty, to judge the justice
of the law, and to hold all laws invalid that are, in their opinion, unjust
or oppressive, and all persons guiltless in violating, or resisting the
execution of such laws."
I Feel So Much Safer Now Photographers who took pictures of thousands of dead birds in China have been arrested. Sophistimicated Doowacky of the Week There is a simple way of making
lost or stolen mobiles useless to thieves and the phone companies know
about it, but keep it quiet.
Google Searches on the Word
"Downplay"
White House downplays Climate Report Edits
- thanks to Jane Stillwater - Bible Lesson from Hell
"Dr. Edwards explains that it would have been
impossible for Noah's sons to travel to the four corners of the earth to
areas that were previously inaccessible on foot. 'Noah and his sons had
to collect two of every single creature on the face of the planet,' he
says. 'We're talking about a big haul here. At first we just attributed
it to what Creation Scientists call, the Holy Finger Snapping Theory.
That's where God snaps his fingers and just makes it so.' Edwards points
out that Creation Scientists are still unanimous in attributing the fact
that Noah was able to load 100 million plus animals onto a 450 foot ark
'in the selfsame day' (Genesis 7:13-14) to the Finger Snapping Theory.
In the case of how the animals were collected from remote regions of the
world in the first place however, recent archeological finds indicate that
Noah's sons were able to tame giant flying dinosaurs and in turn, load
them up with food supplies and hitch rides for long trips around the world
to China, South America, Australia, Greenland, and the North Pole."
Stupid Answers of the Week Last week's question... I understand why Carl's Jr. thinks I'll eat there due to an ad campaign of Paris Hilton washing cars and some men who would starve if not for them, but someone's got to explain to me why Del Taco thinks I'll eat there due to an ad campaign whose entire concept is "Our spokesman is an idiot." Our pResident is a baboon like imbecilic twit, and
lots of people think he's the cat's meow. So Del Taco figures showing an
idiot spokesperson is the way to get the marching moron red staters to
go eat there.
It worked for selling the war in Iraq, but not so
much on Social Security. Maybe in '08 the GOP will run Paris Hilton. At
least we wouldn't have to worry about a secretive Government. She'd accidentally
post everything to the internet.
It worked for the Republicans.
Because it is a well known fact that people will
follow/emulate a leader with whom they identify... especially if they've
been "made accustomed" to being led by/purchasing a bill of goods from
the current group of scum manipulating the congenital fool we know as the
"Meat Puppet-In-Chief". Dear Sweet Jesus, how I loath these "people".
"I'm sorry sir but you'll have to give me your order
or leave the drive-thru. There are a lot of cars in line behind you."
Being in the intellectually
desolate Midwest, I'm not familiar with Carl's Jr. (isn't that the
home of the 4,000 calorie Feed-the-Whole-Fam-Damily burger with the
slab of bacon and an entire side of beef?), but I can tell you, as
a student of popular culture, that the 'spokesman is an idiot' meme is
pernicious and widespread. Here in the hinterlands, we've been subjected
televisionally to the Frat Boy who laughingly relates what a total fumblefuck
he is to the approval of his imbecile friends over a chummy round of Bud
Lights; to the anxious Soccer Mom perturbed that her bug-eyed, nearly-comatose
little girl isn't getting enough mood-depressants; to the half-wit cowboy,
probably recently fired by the Post Office, who drives his pickup truck
right into the fast food restaurant because, garsh, he just can't fucking
wait for his Super Beelzebub Burger any longer. And what's with the Audi
commercials that say we shouldn't follow? Is it because they might blow
up at any minute, like the old Ford Pintos? There is a rich and demented
tapestry being driven into the brain of the average bovine American and
it involves young men who can't buy clothes that fit, and young women who
desire to dress like oblivious plumbers on the old SNL, while they download
.99 cent IPod tunes and take pictures with their new SBC cellphones of
each other drooling. Is this why we have expensive satellites spinning
around earth in synchronous orbit? So some doofus can flash a picture of
his new scrotum ring to his gum-snapping mall buddies?
Idiot? I thought that was Jimmy Smits little brother.
That'd make him princess Lea's step-uncle. You should know that many of
your readers do not have a local Carl's Jr. or Del Taco and are not exposed
to the ads. Here in Texas, fer instance, we have neither but we do have
What-a-burger!
Strike my previous response. Apparently I was thinking
of the El Pollo Loco guy. So I guess I've never seen the Del Taco guy.
Sorry we're not all on the west coast, you elitist bastards.
It is obviously directed to those in the populace
who are inspired by "our Preznit who is an idiot."
Why not? You all "voted" for one...
Ad's frequently mirror the public they are trying
to sell to and as everyone in the US is currently being served by an idiot
spokesperson... umm, sorry, some taco drippings just fell on my keyboard...
What was the question?
for the same reason larry king is popular people
are attracted to obvious fakes in ways similar to the attraction between
small time criminals and for petty plagiarists we coronate the flawlessly
played sycophant and to shun perception we disrevere the crystal clear
and potentiate the insincere.
Answers to Old Questions That Came in Too Late Pigs. They can happily eat a ton of bullshit, roll
in oceans of mud, are not really greedy (that's a myth some jerk with a
thing against pigs made up), are never bothered by dichotomy, and can be
a house pet or really kick some ass.
wow, Angelina Jolie is so hot she even ignites herself
If women licked our balls daily we would never have
wars. Should of lef B.Clinton alone got head great prez!
There's a hot time in te old town tonight!
"So, what you're saying is that horses really don't
produce milk??"
I've got tears in my ears from lie'n on my back and
cry'n over you .
Did no one go to hell this week?
In the rapture, class distinctions,
like fat/ svelte; ugly/ fair; clothed/ unclothed; late/ on-time;
smart/ dumb, etc., will cease to matter, so no one will notice any of the
shit you asked about, heathen, unlike the pre-rapture times, when
class distinctions are so important that all anyone can talk about is getting
in with the Jesus crowd.
Different facilities handle it in the manner consistent
with their jurisdiction. The most common method of disposal is via incineration.
Larger medical facilities often have a separate human tissue/medical waste
incinerator. Other facilities contract with area incineration facilities,
or in less cosmopolitan areas local funeral homes. These are the most commonly
found methods utilized in the USA.
Yes there is; its called religion.
KLAATU (PLAYED BY MICHAEL RENNIE) IN "THE DAY THE
EARTH STOOD STILL" (1951)
Ranch, Blue Cheese or Italian?
Stupid Question of the Week I wish to be canonized. Won't you make up a miracle you can blame on me and tell the Catholic Church about it? Example... I had a really bad pain in my ass until I read an issue of Disinfotainment Today and it went away. Send your miracles here. (Be sure to CC to the Pope)
The Black Sabbath Cha-Cha-Cha. Paul Anka covering Smells Like Teen Spirit. I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist you check out Music for Maniacs. Speaking of maniacs, one of the prides of my underground music collection has always been Brian Wilson's Adult Child, a solo album he recorded in 1976/77 during the deepest of his psychosis, and which his friends did him the favor of prevented him from releasing, for damn good reason. Life is for Living, H.E.L.P. is On the Way, and Everybody Wants to Live are more self-therapy than songs, making you feel total embarrassment when you stop laughing. The whole fascinating mess is available for downloading at Sonic Reclamation Industries. All Purpose Positive Review of Anything I loved it. It was a lifetime experience with which no others will ever compare. It was savagely ripped from the heart of society and laid bare the soul of this paltry existence. Compared to the best things you've ever seen or heard or tasted or smelt or felt, it was beyond description, a glimpse of rapture in a barren desert of simulated torture. I loved it and I don't care what anyone says. If there were anything on this planet that I could whole-heartedly recommend, this would be it. I can't believe you haven't seen/heard//tasted/felt/smelt this. A total pleasure, top to bottom, I can't remember the last time I felt so good. I've seen/heard//tasted/felt/smelt this a dozen times and I can't get enough. All I can say is it works for me. I can't wait to show it to my children. A major classic for the young at heart. All Purpose Negative Review of Anything What a piece of crap! Einstein called, he wants my time back. Chart of the Week Michael Jackson is nothing like George W. Bush Motto Jackson Bush Leave no child
behind
No
Yes
Insane Letter of the Week June 14, 2005 Dear Mr. Mxyzptlk: Thank you for your letter regarding the so-called "Downing Street Memo" from a high-level British meeting about the war in Iraq that was reported in the Times of London. I must respectfully decline to support a Congressional investigation into the President's decision to go to war with Iraq. The President made it clear in his June 6th press conference with Prime Minister Blair that it is inaccurate to suggest that the decision to go to war had already been made prior to his presenting the case against Saddam Hussein to the United Nations (UN). The President went on to say - with the Prime Minister in resolute agreement- that war was their last option in dealing with Saddam. Numerous efforts were made to make Saddam comply with UN resolutions but he disregarded these efforts. The "Downing Street Memo" was the minutes of a high-level meeting of British officials which included Prime Minister Blair and other members of his cabinet. The crux of the memo was the report of a man now identified as Richard Dearlove, the head of British Secret Intelligence Service sometimes known as MI6, (the original article simply named him "C") about his recent trip to Washington and his subsequent feeling that "intelligence and facts were being fixed" to support the war in mid-2002. Both the 9/11 Commission and the British investigation into this subject has found no evidence to substantiate Dearlove's claim. Whether his was an attempt to undermine Tony Blair during the recent British elections is unclear, but what is clear is the Bush administration was looking at all options in terms of dealing with Saddam, which is not an illegal or unexpected action. The claim that the President manipulated intelligence to bolster the case for war is simply not true. After September 11, 2001, the President and our allies could not take any chances with the possibility of deadly weapons finding their way into the hands of terrorists who would certainly seek to use them. Saddam Hussein had flouted 17 UN resolutions since the end of the 1991 Gulf War and the intelligence presented to the President clearly indicated Saddam possessed an active weapons program and weapons of mass destruction. Hussein had previously used chemical weapons to kill many of his own people and invaded Iraq's neighbors, both in Kuwait and Iran. Acting on the best information that was available, the President, with the approval of Congress, acted to remove the threat posed by Saddam Hussein. Even former President Clinton felt - based on the intelligence available to him at the time - that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction. The allegation that the President acted illegally in deciding for the U.S. to go to war with Iraq is simply false. The war in Iraq has been waged on a sound legal and Constitutional footing. The U.S. House and Senate approved the use of force in Iraq and UN Resolution 1382 promised "serious consequences" if Saddam Hussein failed to comply with inspections and dismantle his WMD program. The UN resolution begs the question: Why would the President seek to make his case before the United Nations if he had already made his decision to go to war prior to going to New York to address the General Assembly? The President sought Senate approval to go to war which he received by an overwhelming margin of 77-23. These senators received the same intelligence on Iraq as the President. Since the war has been waged on a sound legal and Constitutional grounds and with no real evidence that the administration distorted intelligence, it is difficult to conclude that the President is guilty of a crime. I believe the President did the right thing in removing Saddam Hussein from power. Second-guessing this decision, at this point, only serves to encourage the insurgents in this conflict and undermine the morale of our troops who are fighting to stabilize Iraq. During this difficult time when our nation is at war not only in Iraq but against terrorists around the world, we must stand united in our efforts to protect our nation and secure peace around the world. I therefore must again decline to support any investigation into the Bush administration's decision to go to war at this time. Once again, thank you for contacting me. Sincerely,
Belated Christmas Gift from
Hell
Satan Doesn't Want You to Know Antonio Meucci, not Alexander Graham Bell, is the man who invented the telephone. Don't Take My Word For It "Justice John Paul
Stevens said plaintiffs suffering chronic pain should turn to 'the democratic
process' for comfort. He addressed this opinion to the two plaintiffs who
suffer respectively from a brain tumor and a degenerative spinal disease.
I'm a thinking the 85-year-old liberal Justice needs to bone up on his
bedside manner a bit. 'Take two democratic processes and call me in the
morning.' Wonder if this guy has consulted for any HMOs lately? Going to
have to revise the new edition of the Physician's Desk Reference by inserting
'Activist Judges' next to 'Cottonmouth' under possible side effects.
"Those enemies of mine who did
not want me to be king over them - bring them here and kill them in front
of me."
"A racket is best described, I believe, as
something that is not what it seems to the majority of the people. Only
a small 'inside' group knows what it is about. It is conducted for the
benefit of the very few, at the expense of the very many. Out of war a
few people make huge fortunes."
"Rightful liberty is unobstructed action according
to our will within limits drawn around us by the equal rights of others.
I do not add 'within the limits of the law' because law is often but the
tyrant's will, and always so when it violates the rights of the individual."
"Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes
out the trees, then names the streets after them."
"The liberties of a people never were, nor
ever will be, secure when the transactions of their rulers may be concealed
from them."
"The conqueror is apt to think himself master,
and the subdued do not have the power to dispute him. But that gives him
no title other than what naked force gives the strong over the weak."
"The liberty of a democracy is not safe if
the people tolerate the growth of private power to a point where it becomes
stronger than their democratic State itself. That, in its essence, is Fascism
- ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or any controlling
private power."
"The tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon
devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment
from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand,
they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on
his side."
"Not to be absolutely certain is, I think,
one of the essential things in rationality."
"The clues are falling into
place, pointing to the incontrovertible judgment that George W. Bush willfully
misled the United States into invading Iraq, in part, by eliminating the
possibility of the peaceful solution that he pretended to want.
"That the aggressor, who
puts himself into the state of war with another, and unjustly invades another
man's right, can, by such an unjust war, never come to have a right over
the conquered, will be easily agreed by all men, who will not think that
robbers and pirates have a right of empire over whomsoever they have force
enough to master, or that men are bound by promises which unlawful force
extorts from them.
"You can go ahead and use marijuana for non-medical
purposes. We understand the legitimate need of college students to take
a bong hit before downloading Eminem with Limewire. It's just people who
are dying of cancer and AIDS who can't use it."
"The Downing Street Memo is the gift that just
keeps on giving. And well it should. It is the smoking gun which proves
that the gravest possible crime was committed by the Bush administration,
and among its victims were the American people."
"Today Christians stand at the head of our
country. We want to fill our culture again with the Christian spirit. We
want to burn out all the recent immoral developments in literature, in
the theatre, and in the press - in short, we want to burn out the poison
of immorality which has entered into our whole life and culture as a result
of liberal excess during the past years."
"Whilst 'the conspiracy
theory of history' is mocked by the media as the realm of scaremongers,
the ignorant and the naïve, anyone who has merely studied the history
of Britain's Kings and Queens, over the last 1,000 years, will readily
see that conspiracies were very much part of court life, national government
and Britain's international policy. Nothing has changed. Indeed, with the
advent of widespread literacy, modern media and information technology,
the obfuscation of, and power to corrupt facts has been raised to a new
and more sophisticated plane...
"Now really. How many times have you read that
US soldiers captured 'a senior aide to Zarqawi.' How many times? How many
senior aides does Zarqawi have? And do these announcements lend credibility
to US announcements?"
"The people at the top of America's money pyramid
have so prospered in recent years that they have pulled far ahead of the
rest of the population, an analysis of tax records and other government
data by The New York Times shows. They have even left behind people making
hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. Call them the hyper-rich. They
are not just a few Croesus-like rarities. Draw a line under the top 0.1
percent of income earners - the top one-thousandth. Above that line are
about 145,000 taxpayers, each with at least $1.6 million in income and
often much more. The average income for the top 0.1 percent was $3 million
in 2002, the latest year for which averages are available. That number
is two and a half times the $1.2 million, adjusted for inflation, that
group reported in 1980. No other income group rose nearly as fast. The
share of the nation's income earned by those in this uppermost category
has more than doubled since 1980, to 7.4 percent in 2002. The share of
income earned by the rest of the top 10 percent rose far less, and the
share earned by the bottom 90 percent fell."
"Curious, how often you humans manage to obtain
that which you do not want."
"Even when he is still,
"By the way, if anyone here is in advertising
or marketing, kill yourself. Kill yourselves, seriously. You are the ruiner
of all things good. Seriously, no, this is not a joke. There's no fucking
joke coming, you are Satan's spawn, filling the world with bile and garbage,
you are fucked and you are fucking us, kill yourselves, it's the only way
to save your fucking soul. Kill yourself, kill yourself now. Now, back
to the show."
"One time a guy handed me a picture of himself,
and he said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture
of you is of when you were younger."
"The mystery is this: how did the repeal of
a tax that applies only to the richest 2 per cent of American families
become a cause so popular and so powerful that it steamrollered all the
opposition placed in its way? The estate tax was the most progressive part
of the American tax system, because it rested on the principle that the
wealthy few, if they were not willing to bequeath their money to charity,
should not be permitted to pass it all directly to their heirs. It had
been on the statute book for nearly a hundred years, and throughout that
time it had been generally assumed that there was widespread support for
the idea that unearned wealth passed between the generations, creating
pockets of aristocratic privilege, was not part of the American dream.
Because it was a tax that so obviously took from the relatively few to
relieve the burden on the very many, there seemed no possibility that a
sufficiently large or durable coalition of interests could ever be formed
to get rid of it. Yet during the 1990s just such a coalition came into
being, and not only did it hold together, it grew to the point where the
clamour for estate tax repeal seemed irresistible. What Graetz and Shapiro
want to know is how the architects of repeal got so many different people
on board. How they stopped them falling out among themselves, once it became
clear that they could not possibly have the same interests in common. And
why the hell the Democratic Party didn't do more to stop them.
"In all, 88 homes in the
Silwan district of traditionally Arab East Jerusalem are marked for demolition
to make way for what municipal authorities say will be an archeological
park devoted to Jewish history and sites associated with the biblical King
David...
"Three former high-ranking
government officials from Canada, Mexico, and the United States are calling
for a North American economic and security community by 2010 to address
shared security threats, challenges to competitiveness, and interest in
broad-based development across the three countries...
"Americans must think that our political and
academic elites have gone utterly mad at a time when three-and-a-half years,
approaching four years after September 11, we still don't have border security.
And this group of elites is talking about not defending our borders, finally,
but rather creating new ones. It's astonishing."
"It's a foregone conclusion
that the Senate will confirm Zalmay Khalilzad to be the new U.S. ambassador
to Iraq, replacing John Negroponte. Still, it's worth stepping back to
consider what Khalilzad's appointment says about the Bush administration's
continuing refusal to comprehend the magnitude of the disaster in Iraq
- and about the Democrats' inexplicable inability to step forward and challenge
the president as Iraq continues to deteriorate. His confirmation hearing
Tuesday slipped by almost unnoticed, thanks in part to a docile stable
of Democrats who decided to give him a free pass, rather than seize the
opportunity to lambaste the president's Iraq policy.
"There has never been an administration, I
don't believe in our history, more intent upon consolidating and abusing
power to further their own agenda. I know it's frustrating for many of
you, it's frustrating for me. Why can't the Democrats do more to stop them?
I can tell you this: It's very hard to stop people who have no shame about
what they're doing. It is very hard to tell people that they are making
decisions that will undermine our checks and balances and constitutional
system of government who don't care. It is very hard to stop people who
have never been acquainted with the truth."
"Michael Jackson is back at Neverland. Do you
know where your prepubescent son is, dear? Yes, dear friends, Michael Jackson
is free. Honestly, white people get away with everything! So, one more
jury has found someone 'not guilty by reason of celebrity.' Surely, you
are not naive enough to be surprised, are you? As Paris Hilton has proved,
even being an inane, drugged-out, pornographic whore is utterly laudable
just as long as we recognize your vacant mug from a weekly magazine. So,
once again, it is cookies and porn time back at Neverland. As if young
Hispanic boys didn't have enough to worry about with Catholic priests lurking
around every confessional booth!"
"No 'terrorist' gene is known to exist or is
likely to be found... Surely the(y), and their supporters were afflicted
by something that caused their metamorphosis from normal human beings capable
of gentleness and affection into desperate, maddened, fiends with nothing
but murder in their hearts and minds. What was that? Simple logic says
that we must go to the roots of terror. Only a fool can believe that the
services of a suicidal terrorist can be purchased, or that they can be
bred at will anywhere."
"In order to rally people, governments need
enemies. They want us to be afraid, to hate, so we will rally behind them.
And if they do not have a real enemy, they will invent one in order to
mobilize us."
"George W. Bush himself is the strongest argument
against intelligent design."
"Our country is not the only thing to which
we owe our allegiance. It is also owed to justice and to humanity. Patriotism
consists not in waving the flag, but in striving that our country shall
be righteous as well as strong."
"Once one dismisses
"Before rhyming orange he knew that he
Everything Else The revelation of the identity of Deep Throat
can't help but bring back memories
of the fact that I was supposed to be the Deep Throat of Woodward's Wired,
revealing to him the true identity of John Belushi's killers, giving Woodward
remarkably similar advice to that of the original Deep Throat, "follow
the drugs" instead of "follow the money." Woodward ignored my advice, never
told where the drugs came from, and wrote a piece of crap that was as just
as much a cover-up as the one by Richard Nixon that made him famous.
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and so is Issue
#157.
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Contact George W. Bush
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Freemasons
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Skull and Bones
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Carlyle Group
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Illuminati
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact
Satan - satan@whitehouse.gov
Contact both houses of
Congress - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Supreme Court
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Dick Cheney -
vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Halliburton -
vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Bechtel -
vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Saddam Hussein
- tightywhities@whitehouse.gov
Contact Osama bin Laden
-
deepthroat@whitehouse.gov
Contact Jeb Bush - jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact Fidel Castro
- jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact Kim Jong Il -
eng-info@kcna.co.jp
Contact Jacques Chirac
- france-presse@un.int
Contact the new Pope
- accreditamenti@pressva.va
Contact the old Pope
- thirdlevel@hellfireanddamnation.com
Contact God - president@whitehouse.gov
Am I supposed to believe
you don't drink coffee?
You need a Disinfotainment
Today mug.
Boo hoo
There's nobody to pay
me for doing this but you.
or
Buy
my novel
Read
the first chapter
"It's a charming story, very
funny and I hope he writes a lot more.
- Lynette Sheffield -
Acknowledgment
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's fair use.
Thanks,
Ida Mandy Recount
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