The Worst Newspapers in America
The first in a series. 
Please send me your nominations for local papers that deserve this award.

The Desert Post Weekly

According to the Columbia Journalism Review, the Worst Newspaper in America is The Daily Oklahoman, and they rip it a new one. "Where else can you find a big-city editorial page - run by a Christian Coalition devotee plucked from Washington, D.C.'s right-wing Free Congress Foundation - that not only demonizes unions, environmentalists, feminists, Planned Parenthood, and public education, but also seems obsessed with lecturing gays?" Good question. The answer? How about "all over the place."

I might disagree with everything The Daily Oklahoman has to say, but at least they HAVE something to say, and as wrongheaded as they are, they say it with passion and conviction.

Any journalism with passion and conviction isn't all bad. Writing from the heart is always better than writing without any heart.

To me, the worst journalism of all is lazy, passionless, self-serving drivel, journalism that has NOTHING to say and keeps saying it, journalism that ignores the grand opportunity to actually say something meaningful in favor of endless filler. It's been said that people should think globally but act locally, which means the worst newspapers are those that not only don't think globally, they don't think at all.

By those standards, my local weekly paper, the Desert Post Weekly, serving Palm Springs and the Coachella Valley, is one of the worst newspapers in America. 

For one thing, it poses as an "alternative" to the local daily, the Desert Sun, when it's actually owned by the Desert Sun, and fully half of its content is reprinted from the Desert Sun. This is deceptive and despicable, convincing out-of-towners they're getting some sort of underground scoop when they're getting the same old same old. 

The paper is edited by Brian Medricka, who used to do listings at the Desert Sun. Employees of the paper have let me know anonymously that they feel the pain of working for a man who doesn't realize what a pathetic joke he is. Nothing is worse than someone who thinks he's funny but actually has no sense of humor whatsoever. Medricka loves gay sexual innuendo. It pisses off his workers at their staff meetings but they say nothing, so us hapless readers are left with cover stories like "You Can Get Naked" (about nude spas), "Lick This" (hard-hitting investigative journalism about how many different flavors of ice cream there are), and "The White Stuff" (about, no not that, snow). In the ice cream issue, Medricka devoted an ENTIRE PAGE to pictures of the staff answering the "burning question" of what flavor ice cream they would be. I nominate it as the most embarrassing moment in publishing history. What kind of ice cream is Brian Medricka?

Brian Medricka is a moron. He's not even TRYING to be excellent. He's striving for mediocrity and succeeding enormously. You will never read a newspaper as lightweight as this. It's completely shameful that a city as sophisticated as Palm Springs has such a frivolous and irrelevant local "alternative" newspaper. They're not printing articles the Desert Sun wouldn't print because they're controversial or "alternative," they're printing articles the Desert Sun wouldn't print because they're inane. They put cute pictures of the staff on the front page, finally rising to the level of precocious high school yearbook. Their attempts at humor are just annoying and complete failures. The elevation of the ubiquitous "News of the Weird" to feature status completes the celebration of the trivial. Their way of dealing with controversial or important subjects ignored by the mainstream media is to ignore them too. If something important is happening, they're sure to avoid it. At a time when it seems that C students are running the country, I guess it's not surprising they've sunk so low, but there was a time when the paper was actually worth reading, way back when Mona DeCrinis was the editor. At least she had a brain.

Kevin Necessary (Ice cream flavor, "an offshoot of Chunky Monkey - Angry Monkey") is the paper's editorial cartoonist despite the fact he has never displayed the slightest iota of talent for editorial cartooning. None whatsoever. Every issue he begs the readers to send in ideas but none have materialized. If Trudeau ever asked his readers to submit ideas, he'd be inundated. Why hasn't Necessary been inundated with ideas from readers? Because nobody wants to be associated with his incredibly inane drawings. 

I gave them a story. In Desert Hot Springs there's a housing project called "Mountain View" in which the hundreds of houses are packed together so tightly that not one of them has a view of the mountains. That's right, one of the only advantages of living in DHS is the spectacular view of Mount San Jacinto - and nobody in "Mountain View" can see it. But Medricka wouldn't want to offend any money grubbing real estate developers by exposing their callousness, would he? 

His response. To ban my e-mail address.His response to negative letters to the editor? He asked me to stop "harassing his staff," despite the fact that none of them complained, and banned yet another Hotmail address. Hey Brian. I can keep making up Hotmail addresses forever. 

It is, of course, a sign of insecurity to be unable to withstand criticism, which is the real reason he won't print my letters. Hell, if Pamela Anderson can take being "roasted," Brian should be able to take the heat. She's got more balls than he does. Brian's dick is so small that when he gets blown by old men, they have to put their teeth back in for him to feel anything. How's that for "harassing his staff?"

This might seem like overkill towards a paper that never strives to be anything more than innocuous, but that's the point. There are plenty of papers I strenuously disagree with, but nobody has ever disagreed with anything said in the Desert Post Weekly because the Desert Post Weekly never says anything. The only firm conviction editor Brian Medricka ever shows is to keep his head firmly planted between the butt cheeks of his corporate bosses.

Don't take my word for it. Next time you're in Palm Springs, pick one up. After reading it, you'll be calling Stephen Hawking and asking if he can help get your time back.

Idiots of the Week

   Some anonymous organization of pea brains bought the Cabazon Dinosaurs off route 10 between LA and Palm Springs, made famous in PeeWee's Big Adventure, to turn the site into a creationist exhibit. Their theory is that since someone had to have designed these giant fake dinosaurs, someone must have designed the real ones.
   According to this article, "The Book of Genesis, contend that most dinosaurs arrived on Earth the same day as Adam and Eve some 6,000 years ago, and later marched two by two onto Noah's Ark. The gift shop at the attraction, called the Cabazon Dinosaurs, sells toy dinosaurs whose labels warn, 'Don't swallow it! The fossil record does not support evolution...'
   "[I]ts founder's believe that God created the world in six days. The dinosaurs, even super carnivores such as T. Rex, dined as vegetarians in the Garden of Eden until Adam and Eve sinned and only then did they feast on other creatures, according to the Christian-based young-Earth theory.
   "About 4,500 years after Adam and Eve arrived, the theory goes, pairs of baby dinosaurs huddled in Noah's Ark, and a colossal flood drowned the rest and scattered their fossils. The ark-borne animals repopulated the planet meaning that folk tales about fire-breathing beasts are accounts of humans battling dinosaurs, who still roamed the planet."
   Uh, let's see. Adam and Eve was 6,000 years ago. 4,500 years AFTER that, there were still baby dinosaurs. That's 1,500 years ago. Christ was born about 2,000 years ago, which means there were still dinosaurs in the year 500, which is right after the Saxons captured Sussex from the Britons and just before King Arthur. Funny none of the history books mention Sir Galahad fighting velociraptors in his quest for the holy grail.
   I guess "intelligent" doesn't include basic arithmetic.

"For between true science and erroneous doctrines, ignorance is in the middle."
- Hobbes: Leviathan -

"Every religion has its own idea, because it is a fiction. You don't have different ideas about the sun. You don't have different ideas about the rose. You can only have different ideas about a fiction."
- Osho -

Good Ideas of the Week

#1

MINISTRY OF RESHELVING GETTING 1984 OUT OF BOOKSTORE FICTION SECTIONS

    This week, we launched the Ministry of Reshelving project. My partners in crime as founding members of the ministry: George, Kiyash, and Monica. This weekend we relocated 19 copies of George Orwell's 1984 in four different bookstores in Palo Alto, San Francisco, and Berkeley. It was high stealth adventure.
   You are invited to join our efforts. How to Serve the Ministry of Reshelving:

1. Select a local bookstore to carry out your reshelving activities. 
2. Download and print "This book has been relocated by the Ministry of Reshelving" bookmarks and "All copies of 1984 have been relocated" note cards to take with you to the bookstore. Or make your own. We recommend bringing a notecard and 5-10 bookmarks to each store. 
3. Go to the bookstore and locate its copies of George Orwell's 1984. Unless the Ministry of Reshelving has already visited this bookstore, it is probably currently incorrectly classified as "Fiction" or "Literature." 
4. Discreetly move all copies of 1984 to a more suitable section, such as "Current Events", "Politics", "History", "True Crime", or "New Non-Fiction." 
5. Insert a Ministry of Reshelving bookmark into each copy of any book you have moved. Leave a note card in the empty space the books once occupied. 
6. If you spot other incorrectly classified books, feel free to relocate them. 
7. Please report all reshelving efforts to the Ministry. Email your store name, location, number of 1984 copies reshelved, and any other reshelving activities conducted, to reshelving@avantgame.com. Photos of your mission can be uploaded to Flickr, tagged as "reshelving", and submitted to the Ministry of Reshelving group.

    Our goal is to relocate one thousand nine hundred and eighty-four copies, and to complete successful reshelving of 1984 in all 50 United States. Global contributions are welcome.

- The Ministry of Reshelving -

#2

Since we all rely on our cars, we can't just stop buying gas. But we CAN have an impact on gas prices if we all act together to force a price war.

Here's the idea:

For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY gasoline from the TWO BIGGEST COMPANIES (which now are one), EXXON and MOBIL. If they are not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit.

But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of Exxon and Mobil gas buyers.

It's really simple to do!!

- Lori P. Stokes, CISR, Commercial Auditor, North Carolina Reinsurance Facility -

Things I'm Supposed to Go Back and Fix

Dear Editor, 

It has just come to my attention that Issue #76, Page 9; No Good Deed Goes Unpunished #2, states that Dennis Egan was the individual who had the idea for Plasphalt. This is absolutely untrue and I will also write to the Pocahontas Times from which your information was borrowed. 

I am a painter and former Professor of Art at the University of California Santa Barbara. I was asked to make an art installation at the Santa Barbara Contemporary Art Forum. A friend, Nancy Merrill and I walked the Pacific Ocean beaches for months picking up waste plastic which we placed in the art gallery: SEA OF CLOUDS WHAT CAN I DO. This is documented in several books. 

During those months I saw many seals and sea lions lying on the beach and dying of purulent wounds, entangled in drift nets. I was haunted by the sight and often could not sleep. Awakening one morning in May of 1987, before consciousness, a voice in my dream said, Put the waste plastic in the highways: plastic and asphalt are both petroleum, they will love each other and make stronger roads! The mountains and rivers wont have to be torn apart for aggregate and the earth wont be choked with non-biodegradable material. Glue the plastic down into the highways and no more animals will be hurt. (My website is below.) 

I ran to class that morning and told 70 painting students. We all thought what a terrific idea! That evening I told my partner, Gary Fishback, an inventor. A few weeks later he told his friend Dennis Egan, who assisted in the research and contributed to the technology for the patent. It was NOT Dennis idea and I, being a woman, very much dislike it when men take credit for things they have not generated. 

Thank you, very much for correcting an historical fact. 

Ciel Bergman
www.CielBergman.com

Ceil,
I've appended your letter to the article.
MD

Dear Mr. Dare:
    I am not presuming to "educate" you, you're obviously one of the brightest people around; I enjoy your wit and imagination more than I can say. But to the point: the possessive form of the word "it" is "its," with no apostrophe. With an apostrophe, viz., "it's," you have an elision that means "it is." I have read that this confusion results in the most common grammatical error in English.
    Please forgive me if you have already taken care of this; I have just recently begun to read your wonderfully-crafted writings and, as yet, have no sense of the evolution of your work.     Respectfully, and with great admiration,
- O'Neill Pollingue

Dear O'Neill,
So let me get this straight. Somewhere in the more than 1,000 pages on my website, including more than 150 issues of Disinfotainment Today, 100 issues of Who's Going to Hell This Week? , one novel, two full length non-fiction books, numerous screenplays, several art galleries, and an archive with twenty years of journalism and film criticism, there's an "it's" that should be an "its?" Not that it's a mistake I don't want to fix, but to make me search for it reminds me of a demon whose name is an anagram for Santa. I don't want to re-read everything I've ever written. Help me out here.
MD

 Dear Mr. Dare:
    I infer from your reply that the mistakes were simple typos rather than the result of an unrecognized error. Forgive me; I really do admire and envy the way your mind works.
    As for the source of my concern: in reading two of your interviews (one with Tracey Ullman and the other with the man who propounds the a priori nature of conspiracies) I noticed the incorrectly apostrophe'd "it" two or three times. I admit that I had a VERY small sample from which to draw conclusions. I look forward to reading more of your writings. Thank you for taking the time and making the effort to share your experiences and insights.
    As always, best regards, 
O'Neill Pollingue

O'Neill,
Fixed.
MD

Stupid Question of the Week

What other mistakes have I made? Please be cruel. I'm your punching bag of the week. Send your answers here.

Stupid Answers of the Week

Last week's question...

Mick Jagger is denying that "Sweet Neo Con" is about George W. Bush.What other songs aren't about George W. Bush?

756 answers from Jimmy McConnell, Pentimental, Candice Gulley, Rita M., David Bruce, James and Katherine Allard, Jeff Crook, Mike McBroom, Terry C, Bill Moses, Frank Michel, Mary, Anna, Tony D, Kyle Warren, Chris McFarland, and Meria Heller, in alphabetical order...

(I Don't Want To Go To) Chelsea - Elvis Costello, (Someone's Been) Telling You Stories - Dan Fogelberg, (What's So Fun About) Peace, Love And Understanding - Elvis Costello, (Wish I Could Fly Like) Superman - Kinks, 21st Century Schizoid Man - King Crimson, 50 ways to get BinLaden - Wierd AL , 50,000 Miles Beneath My Brain - Ten Years After, A Well Respected Man - Kinks, All Lit Up - Buckcherry, All You Zombies - Hooters, American Idiot - Greenday, American Psycho - Misfits, American Psycho 2 - D12, Angry Young Man - Billy Joel, Another One Bites The Dust - Queen, Another Piece Of My Heart - Janis Joplin, Another Tricky Day - The Who, Ant's Marching - Dave Matthews, Apeman - Kinks, Art Of Dying - George Harrison, Asshole - Denis Leary, BAD - Michael Jackson, Bad Company - Bad Company, Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival, Bad Reputation - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, Bad To The Bone - George Thorogood, Badlands - Bruce Springsteen, Ballad of a Teenage Queen - Cowboy Jack Clement, Beds Are Burning - Midnight Oil, Before You Accuse Me - Eric Clapton, Behind Blue Eyes - The Who, Better Be Home Soon - Crowded House, Better Man - Pearl Jam, Big Mess - Devo , Big Shot - Billy Joel, Blinded By The Light - Bruce Springsteen, Blow Away - George Harrison, Boom Boom (Out Go the Lights) - Pat Travers, Born In The U.S.A. - Bruce Springsteen, Born On the Bayou - Creedence Clearwater Revival, Born To Be Wild - Steppenwolf, Born To Run - Bruce Springsteen, Both Of Us (Bound To Lose) - Stephen Stills Manassas, Brain Damage/Eclipse - Pink Floyd, Breakfast In America - Supertramp, Breaking The Law - Judas Priest, Breaking Us In Two - Joe Jackson, Bridge Of Sighs - Robin Trower, Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon & Garfunkel, Brilliant Disguise - Bruce Springsteen, Bring Me Some Water - Melissa Etheridge, Bring the boys back Home - Pink FLoyd, Bringing On The Heartbreak - Def Leppard, Broken Arrow - Buffalo Springfield, Burnin' Sky - Bad Company, Burning Down The House - Talking Heads, Burning For You - Blue Oyster Cult, Burning Of The Midnight Lamp - Jimi Hendrix, Bye Bye Love - Cars, Call Any Vegetable - Frank Zappa, Can't Buy Me Love - Beatles, Can't Find My Way Home - Blind Faith, Can't Make It Here Anymore - James McMurtry, Can't You See? - Marshall Tucker Band, Captain Jack - Billy Joel, Castles Made Of Sand - Jimi Hendrix Experience, Catch Me Now I'm Falling - Kinks, Celebration - Kool & the Gang, Change Of Heart - Cyndi Lauper, Change Partners - Stephen Stills, Change The Locks - Tom Petty, Change The World - Eric Clapton, Change Your Mind - Neil Young & Crazy Horse, Changes - David Bowie, Cheap Sunglasses - ZZ Top, Cherry Bomb - John Mellencamp, Children Of The Sun - Dino Valente, Chimes Of Freedom - Byrds, China Doll - David Bowie, China Grove - Doobie Brothers, Close To The Edge - Yes, Closer To Free - BoDeans, Closer To My Home/I'm Your Captain - Grand Funk, Closer To The Heart - Rush, C'mon People - Paul McCartney, Cocaine - Eric Clapton, Cold As Ice - Foreigner, Cold Turkey - John Lennon, Come Together - Beatles, Comes A Time - Neil Young, Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd, Comin' Home - Delaney & Bonnie, Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin, Conquistador - Procol Harum, Couldn't Get It Right - Climax Blues Band, Cover Me - Bruce Springsteen, Crawling From The Wreckage - Rockpile, Crazy - Aerosmith, Crazy in the Night - Kim Carnes, Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne, Creep - Radiohead, Crime Of The Century - Supertramp, Crippled Inside - John Lennon, Crossfire - Stevie Ray Vaughan, Crossroads - Cream, Crossroads - Robert Johnson, Crosstown Traffic - Jimi Hendrix Experience, Crown Of Creation - Jefferson Airplane, Cruel To Be Kind - Nick Lowe, Crumblin' Down - John Mellencamp, Cult Of Personality - Living Colour, Cum On Feel The Noize - Quiet Riot, Cuts Like A Knife - Bryan Adams, D.O.A. - Bloodrock, Darkness On The Edge Of Town - Bruce Springsteen, Darkness, Darkness - Youngbloods, Day By Day - Hooters, Day Of The Eagle - Robin Trower, Day Tripper - Beatles, Dazed And Confused - Led Zeppelin, Dead Iraqi in the Middle of the Road. - modern version of a Loudon Wainwright III song, Deal - Jerry Garcia, Dear God - XTC, Dear Mr. Fantasy - Traffic, Dedicated Follower Of Fashion - Kinks, Deja Vu - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Demolition Man - The Police, Deserted Cities Of The Heart - Cream, Desolation Row - Bob Dylan, Desperado - Eagles, Destroyer - Kinks, Devil Inside - INXS, Diamond Dogs - David Bowie, Diamonds And Rust - Joan Baez, Dignity - Bob Dylan, Dime A Dozen Guy - Marshall Crenshaw, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap- AC/DC, Dirty Laundry - Don Henley, Dirty Work - Steely Dan, Dirty World - Traveling Wilburys, Disney's America - Graham Parker, Dixie Chicken - Little Feat, Do You Feel Like We Do - Peter Frampton, Do You Really Want To Hurt Me? - Culture Club, Don't Ask Me No Questions - Lynyrd Skynyrd, Don't Come Around Here No More - Tom Petty, Don't Do It - The Band, Don't Do Me Like That - Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Don't Dream It's Over - Crowded House, Don't Ease Me In - Grateful Dead, Don't Eat The Yellow Snow - Frank Zappa, Don't Fear The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult, Don't Forget Me When I'm Gone - Glass Tiger, Don't Get Me Wrong - Pretenders, Don't Let It Bring You Down - Neil Young, Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood - Animals, Don't Look Back - Boston, Don't Look Back In Anger - Oasis, Don't Misunderstand Me - Rossington Collins Band, Don't Stand So Close To Me - Police, Don't Touch Me There - Tubes, Don't You Forget About Me - Simple Minds, Don't You Know What The Night Can Do - Steve Winwood, Don't You Write Her Off - McGuinn, Clark & Hillman, Dopeman - NWA, Down On Me - Big Brother And The Holding Company, Down On The Corner - Creedence Clearwater Revival , Dream On - Aerosmith, Dust In The Wind - Kansas, Eagle Laughs At You - Jackie Lomax, East West - Paul Butterfield Blues Band, Easy Livin' - Uriah Heep, Elected - Alice Cooper, Eminence Front - The Who, Emotional Rescue - Rolling Stones, Empty Garden (Hey Hey Johnny) - Elton John, Empty Pages - Traffic, End Of The Innocence, The - Don Henley, End Of The Line - Traveling Wilburys, End, The - Doors, Endless Tunnel - Serpent Power, Enter Sandman - Metallica, Entertainer, The - Billy Joel, Estimated Prophet - Grateful Dead, Eternal Flame - Bangles, Even The Losers - Tom Petty, Ever Since The World Began - Yardbirds, Every Breathe You Take - Police, Every Christian Lion-Hearted Man Will Show You - Bee Gees, Every Day Is A Winding Road - Sheryl Crow, Every Grain Of Sand - Bob Dylan, Every Little Thing - Yes, Every Picture Tells A Story - Rod Stewart, Everybody Hurts - R.E.M., Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears For Fears, Everything I Do - Bryan Adams, Everything Is Broken - Bob Dylan, Evil Ways - Santana, Excitable Boy - Warren Zevon, Excitable Boy - Warren Zevon, Eye In The Sky - Alan Parsons Project, Eyes Of A Child - Moody Blues, Eyes Of The World - Grateful Dead, Face The Face - Pete Townshend, Fakin' It - Simon & Garfunkel, Fame - David Bowie, Family Affair - Sly & The Family Stone, Feel Like A Number - Bob Seger, Feet Don't Fail Me Now - Utopia, Fifty States Of Freedom - Brewer & Shipley, Final Countdown, The - Europe, Find Your Way Back - Jefferson Starship, Finish What You Started - Van Halen, Fire - Bruce Springsteen, Fire - Jimi Hendrix, Fire And Ice - Pat Benatar, Fire And Rain - James Taylor, First Cut Is The Deepest, The - Rod Stewart, Flirtin' With Disaster - Molly Hatchet, Fly By Night - Rush, Fool For The City - Foghat, Fool In The Rain - Led Zeppelin, Fooling Yourself - Styx, Fortunate Son - CCR, Fortunate Son - CCR , Fortunate Son - Creedence Clearwater Revival, Fourth Of July - X, Fourth of July, Asbury Park (Sandy) - Bruce Springsteen, Foxy Lady - Jimi Hendrix, Framed - Little Feat, Frankenstein - Edgar Winter Group, Freak on a Leash - Korn, Freedom - Jimi Hendrix, Freedom - Richie Havens, Freedom Overspill - Steve Winwood, Freedom Rider - Traffic, Friend Of The Devil - Grateful Dead, Friends Die Easy - McKendree Spring, Funeral For A Friend - Elton John, Gallows Pole - Led Zeppelin, Games Without Frontiers - Peter Gabriel, Get Back - Beatles, Get Off Of My Cloud - Rolling Stones, Get Out Of My Way - Paul McCartney, Get Over It - Eagles, Get Started, Start A Fire - Graham Parker, Gimme Back My Bullets - Lynyrd Skynyrd, Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones, Give Me Some Truth - John Lennon, Give Peace A Chance - John Lennon, Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac, God - John Lennon, God Bless The Child - Blood, Sweat & Tears, God Fearing Man - Steppenwolf, God Only Knows - Beach Boys, God's Song (That's Why I Love Mankind) - Randy Newman, Gold - John Stewart, Good Times Bad Times - Led Zeppelin, Goodbye To You - Scandal, Got Me Under Pressure - ZZ Top, Gotta Serve Somebody - Bob Dylan, Grand Illusion, The - Styx, Greasy Heart - Jefferson Airplane, Had A Dream (Sleeping With The Enemy) - Roger Hodgson, Hail To The Chief, Hair Of The Dog - Nazareth, Hand In My Pocket - Alanis Morrisette, Hand Me Down World - Guess Who, Happenings Ten Years Time Ago - Yardbirds, Happiness Is A Warm Gun - Beatles, Happy Jack - The Who, Hard To Handle - Black Crowes, Harden My Heart - Quarterflash, Have You Seen Your Mother Baby, Standing In The Shadows - Rolling Stones, He Can't Love You - Michael Stanley Band, Head Games - Foreigner, Heading For The Light - Traveling Wilburys, Heart Of Glass - Blondie, Heartache Tonight - Eagles, Heartbreaker - Grand Funk Railroad, Heartbreaker - Pat Benatar, Heartbreaker (Doo Doo) - Rolling Stones, Heartbreaker/Living Loving Maid (She's Just A Woman) - Led Zeppelin, Heartless - Heart, Hearts Of Stone - Southside Johnny & The Asbury Jukes, Heat Is On, The - Glenn Frey, Heat Of The Moment - Asia, Heaven - Bryan Adams, Heaven And Hell - The Who, Hell In A Bucket - Grateful Dead, Hell Is For Children - Pat Benatar, Help Me - Joan Osbourne, Help Me - Ten Years After, Help Me Up - Eric Clapton, Help! - Beatles, Helpless - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Helplessly Hoping - CSN&Y, Helter Skelter - Beatles, Here Come Those Tears Again - Jackson Browne, Here I Go Again - Whitesnake, Here There And Everywhere - Beatles, Hero Takes A Fall - Bangles, Heroes - David Bowie, Heroes - Wallflowers, Heroes And Villians - Beach Boys, Hesitation Blues - Hot Tuna, Hey Mr. Spaceman - Byrds, Hey, St. Peter - Flash And The Pan, High Enough - Damn Yankees, Highway To Hell - AC/DC, Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar, Hocus Pocus - Focus, House Burning Down - Jimi Hendrix, How Many More Times - Led Zeppelin, Hymn 43 - Jethro Tull, Hypnotized - Fleetwood Mac, Hysteria - Def Leppard, I Ain't Superstitious - Jeff Beck Group, I Am A Child - Buffalo Springfield, I Am A Rock - Simon & Garfunkel, I Can See For Miles - Who, I Can't Dance - Genesis, I Can't Explain - The Who, I Can't Hear You No More - Russ Ballard, I Can't Hold On - Karla Bonoff, I Can't Keep From Crying - Blues Project, I Can't Reach You - The Who, I Can't Stand It - Eric Clapton, I Can't Stand Up For Falling Down - Elvis Costello, I Can't Turn You Loose - Chambers Brothers, I Didn't Mean To Turn You On - Robert Palmer, I Don't Care Anymore - Phil Collins, I Don't Live Today - Jimi Hendrix Experience, I Don't Want To Go Home - Southside Johnny & the Jukes, I Drink Alone - George Thorogood, I Feel The Earth Move - Carole King, I Fought The Law - Clash, I Give You Give Blind - Crosby, Stills & Nash, I Go To Extremes - Billy Joel, I Got A Mind To Give Up Living - Paul Butterfield Blues Band, I Hate Myself For Loving You - Joan Jett & Blackhearts, I Heard A Rumour - Bananarama, I Heard It Through The Grapevine - Creedence Clearwater Revival, I Just Wasn't Made For These Times - Beach Boys, I Knew The Bride (When She Used To Rock And Roll) - Dave Edmunds, I May Be Wrong But I Won't Be Wrong Always - Ten Years After, I Missed Again - Phil Collins, I Need A Miracle - Grateful Dead, I Need To Know - Tom Petty, I Put A Spell On You - Creedence Clearwater Revival, I Should Have Known Better - Beatles, I Stand Alone - Al Kooper, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2, I Threw It All Away - Bob Dylan, I Used To Be A King - Graham Nash, I Wanna Be Sedated - Ramones, I Want A New Drug - Huey Lewis & the News, I Won't Back Down - Tom Petty, I wouldnt want to be Like You - Alan Parsons Project, I'd Love To Change The World - Ten Years After, Idiot Son of an Asshole, IF looks could KILL - Heart, If You Could Read My Mind - Gordon Lightfoot, I-Feel-Like-I'm-Fixin'-To-Die Rag - Country Joe & The Fish, I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide - ZZ Top, I'm No Angel - Gregg Allman, I'm On Fire - Bruce Springsteen, I'm The Urban Spaceman - Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band, I'm Tore Down - Eric Clapton, In The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson, Insane in the Membrane - Cypress Hill, Instant Karma - John Lennon, Ironic - Alanis Morissette, Is She Really Going Out With Him? - Joe Jackson, Isn't It A Pity - George Harrison, Isn't It Time - Babys, Isn't Life Strange - Moody Blues, It Ain't Enough - Corey Hart, It Ain't Over, Til It's Over - Lenny Kravitz, It Doesn't Matter - Stephen Stills Manassas, It Don't Come Easy - Ringo Starr, It Isn't Gonna Be That Way - Steve Forbert, It Keeps You Running - Doobie Brothers, It's A Mistake - Men At Work, It's About Time - Beach Boys, It's All Over Now, Baby Blue - Bob Dylan, It's All Right Ma, I'm Only Bleeding - Bob Dylan, It's Good To Be King - Tom Petty, It's Hard To Be A Saint In The City - Bruce Springsteen, It's In The Way That You Use It - Eric Clapton, It's Money That Matters - Randy Newman, It's Over - Boz Scaggs, It's The End Of The World - R.E.M., I've Gotta Get A Message To You - Bee-Gees, I've Seen All Good People - Yes, Jesus He Knows Me - Genesis, Jesus Is Just Alright - Byrds, Johnee Jingo - Todd Rundgren , Journey To The Center Of Your Mind - Amboy Dukes, Jump Into The Fire - Nilsson, Karn Evil #9 - Emerson Lake & Palmer, Kashmir - Led Zeppelin, Katmandu - Bob Seger, Keep Your Hands To Yourself - Georgia Satellites, Keep Yourself Alive - Queen, Killer Queen - Queen, Killing Floor - Electric Flag, King Of Pain - Police, King Of Wishful Thinking - Go West, Kiss Me Deadly - Lita Ford, Knocking On Heaven's Door - Bob Dylan, Land Of Confusion - Genesis, Lawyers, Guns And Money - Warren Zevon, Learning To Fly - Pink Floyd, Learning To Fly - Tom Petty, Let It Bleed - Rolling Stones, Let Your Soul Be Your Pilot - Sting, Let's Go Crazy - Prince, Let's Make The Water Turn Black - Frank Zappa, LIAR - 3 Dog Night, Lie To Me - Jonny Lang, Life During Wartime (This Ain't No Party...) - Talking Heads, Life In The Fast Lane - Eagles, Life Of Illusion - Joe Walsh, Life's Been Good - Joe Walsh, Light My Fire - Doors, Lights Out - Peter Wolf, Like A Hurricane - Neil Young, Like A Rock - Bob Seger, Linger - Cranberries, Listen To What The Man Said - Paul McCartney, Lithium - Nirvana, Little Lies - Fleetwood Mac, Live And Let Die - Paul McCartney & Wings, Living In The Past - Jethro Tull, Living In The U.S.A. - Steve Miller Band, Living On A Prayer - Bon Jovi, Long Long Time - Guy Forsyth, Loser - Beck, Losing My Religion - R.E.M., Love Train - the Ojays, Low - Cracker, Low Spark Of High Heeled Boys - Traffic, Lucky Man - Emerson, Lake & Palmer, Lyin' Eyes - Eagles, MACHO MAN - Village people , Madman Across The Water - Elton John, Madman across the Water - Elton John, Magic Carpet Ride - Steppenwolf, Mainline Florida - Eric Clapton, Mama Tried - Grateful Dead, Manic Depression - Jimi Hendrix Experience, Mansion On The Hill - Neil Young, Margaritaville - Jimmy Buffett, Mary Jane's Last Dance - Tom Petty, Matter Of Trust - Billy Joel, Mayor Of Simpleton - XTC, Military Madness - Graham Nash, Mind Games - John Lennon, Misery - Soul Asylum, Missionary Man - Eurythmics, Misunderstanding - Genesis, Mixed Emotions - Rolling Stones, Money - Pink Floyd, Money (That's What I Want) - Beatles, Money Changes Everything - Cyndi Lauper, Money For Nothing - Dire Straits, Monkey And The Engineer - Jesse Fuller, Monkey Man - Rolling Stones, Monster - Steppenwolf, Most Likely You Go Your Way (And I'll Go Mine) - Bob Dylan, Mother's Little Helper - Rolling Stones, Move It On Over - George Thorogood and the Destroyers, Move Over - Janis Joplin, Murder Incorporated - Bruce Springsteen, Must Have Got Lost - J. Geils Band, My Days Are Numbered - Blood, Sweat & Tears, My Generation - Who, My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama - Frank Zappa, My Sweet Lord - George Harrison, Mysterious Ways - U2, Mystery Achievement - Pretenders, New World Man - Rush, New Year's Day - U2, New York City - John Lennon, Night They Drove Old Dixie Down - The Band, No More Mister Nice Guy - Alice Cooper, No More Tears - Ozzy Osbourne, No New Tale To Tell - Love & Rockets, No No Song - Ringo Starr, No One To Depend On - Santana, No Son Of Mine - Genesis, Nothin' On Me - Shawn Colvin, Nothing Is Easy - Jethro Tull, Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now - Starship, Nowhere Man - Beatles, Nowhere Man - The Beatles, Obvious Child - Paul Simon, Oliver's Army - Elvis Costello, On The Dark Side - John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band, Once Bitten Twice Shy - Great White, One Monkey Don't Stop No Show - The Honey Cone, One Toke Over The Line - Brewer & Shipley, One Way Out - Allman Brothers, Only The Good Die Young - Billy Joel, Open My Eyes - Nazz, Outlaw Man - David Blue, Panama - Van Halen, Panama Red - New Riders of the Purple Sage, Paranoid - Black Sabbath, Part Of The Plan - Dan Fogelberg, Part Of The Union - Strawbs, Peace Frog/Blue Sunday - Doors, Peace Train - Cat Stevens, Peace Train - the artist formerly known as Cat Stevens, Peaceful Easy Feeling - Eagles, People Are Strange - Doors, People Get Ready - Rod Stewart With Jeff Beck, People Got To Be Free - Rascals, People Have The Power - Patti Smith, People Who Died - Jim Carrol Band, Philadelphia Freedom - Elton John, Pick Up The Pieces - Average White Band, Pickin' Up The Pieces - Poco, Point Of No Return - Kansas, Political Science - Randy Newman, Power - John T. Hall, Power Failure - Procol Harum, Powerful Stuff - Fabulous Thunderbirds, Presence Of The Lord - Blind Faith, Press - Paul McCartney, Pressure - Billy Joel, Pretender, The - Jackson Browne, Pretending - Eric Clapton, Pride (In The Name Of Love) - U2, Pride And Joy - Stevie Ray Vaughan, Pride Of Man - Quicksilver Messenger Service, Prime Time - Don McLean, Private Dancer - Tina Turner, Psycho Killer - Talking Heads, Purple Haze - Jimi Hendrix, Purple Rain - Prince, Pusher, The - Steppenwolf, Puzzles - Yardbirds, Queen Jane Approximately - Bob Dylan, Question - Moody Blues, Radioactive - The Firm, Ramble On - Led Zeppelin, Rambling Man - Allman Brothers, Rapture - Blondie, Revolution - Beatles, Right Now - Van Halen, Right Place, Wrong Time - Dr. John, Roadhouse Blues - Doors, Rockin' In The Free World - Neil Young, Rubber Bullets - 10cc, Run For Your Life - Beatles, Run Like A Thief- J.D. Souther, Run Like Hell - Pink Floyd, Run Run Run - Jo Jo Gunne, Runaway Train - Soul Asylum, Runnin' Down A Dream - Tom Petty, Runnin' With the Devil - Van Halen, Running On Empty - Jackson Browne, Same Old Song And Dance - Aerosmith, She Blinded Me With Science - Thomas Dolby, Ship Of Fools - Robert Plant, Ship Of Fools (Save Me From Tomorrow) - World Party, Shock the Monkey - Peter Gabriel, Shoot To Thrill - ACDC, Should I Stay Or Should I Go? - Clash, Shredding The Documents - John Hiatt, Simple Man - Graham Nash, Simple Twist Of Fate - Bob Dylan, Skating Away On The Thin Ice Of The New Day - Jethro Tull, Sky Is Crying - Stevie Ray Vaughan, Sky Pilot - Eric Burdon & The Animals, Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel, Sleepwalker - Kinks, Slip Slidin' Away - Paul Simon, Slippin' And A Slidin' - John Lennon, Slippin' Into Darkness - War, Slow Ride - Foghat, Smoke On The Water - Deep Purple, Smuggler's Blues - Glenn Frey, Sold Me Down The River - Alarm, Soldier Of Love - Marshall Crenshaw, Southern Man - Neil Young, Space Oddity - David Bowie, Space Truckin' - Deep Purple, Spaceman - Nilsson, Spirit In The Sky - Norman Greenbaum, Spirits In The Material World - Police , Stage Fright - The Band, Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin, Stand - R.E.M., Stand - Sly & The Family Stone, Stand Back - Stevie Nicks, Starship Trooper - Yes, Stiffed neck fools - Bob Marley, Still Crazy After All These Years - Paul Simon, Still The Same - Bob Seger, Stormbringer - Deep Purple, Strange Brew - Cream, Strange Days - Doors, Strange Magic - Electric Light Orchestra, Stranger In A Strange Land - Leon Russell, Stranger, The - Billy Joel, Stray Cat Strut - Stray Cats, Street Fighting Man - Rolling Stones, Stupefaction - Graham Parker, Substitute - The Who, Subterranean Homesick Blues - Bob Dylan, Summertime Blues - The Who, Sunday Bloody Sunday - U2, Super Freak - Rick James, Surrender - Cheap Trick, Suspicions - John Mayall, Sympathy For The Devil - Rolling Stones, Take It Away - Paul McCartney, Take It Back - Pink Floyd, Takin' It To The Streets - Doobie Brothers, Talkin' 'Bout A Revolution - Tracy Chapman, Talking Drum - Japan, Teach Your Children - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Tears In Heaven - Eric Clapton, Tears Of Rage - The Band, Tell All The People - Doors, Tell Mama - Savoy Brown, Tell Me To My Face - Dan Fogelberg & Tim Weisberg, Tell Me Why - Beatles, Tell Me Why - Neil Young, That Smell - Lynyrd Skynyrd, That's Just What You Are - Aimee Mann, That's The Way God Planned It - Billy Preston, The Devil Went Down to Crawford, The Fool on the Hill - The Beatles, Them Changes - Buddy Miles, Theme For An Imaginary Western - Mountain, These Are Days - 10,000 Maniacs, These Days - Gregg Allman, These Days - Jackson Browne, Thick As A Brick - Jethro Tull, Think - Aretha Franklin, Third Stone From The Sun - Jimi Hendrix, This Masquerade - Leon Russell, This Wheel's On Fire - Byrds, Thrill Is Gone - B.B. King, Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen, Tie Your Mother Down - Queen, Tight Rope - Leon Russell, Tightrope - Stevie Ray Vaughan, Till The End Of The Day - Kinks, Tired Of Waiting For You - Kinks, Tons Of Steel - Grateful Dead, Too Much Of Nothing - Peter, Paul and Mary, Total Eclipse Of The Heart - Bonnie Tyler, Tragedy - Bee Gees, Trampled Under Foot -Led Zeppelin, Trapped - Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band, Trapped Again - Southside Johnny & the Asbury Jukes, Trip, The - Donovan, Trouble Boys - Dave Edmunds, True Colors - Cyndi Lauper, Try A Little Tenderness - Commitments, Tuff Enuff - Fabulous Thunderbirds, Turn Of The Century - Bee Gees, Turn On Your Love Light - Grateful Dead, Twilight Zone - Golden Earring, U.S. Blues - Grateful Dead, Unconscious Power - Iron Butterfly, Under A Raging Moon - Roger Daltrey, Under Pressure - Queen & David Bowie, Union Of The Snake - Duran Duran, Unknown Soldier - Doors, Volunteers - Jefferson Airplane, Voodoo Child - Stevie Ray Vaughan, Voodoo Chile/Slight Return - Jimi Hendrix, Wah-Wah - George Harrison, Waitin' For The Bus/Jesus Just Left Chicago - ZZ Top, Waiting For A Friend - Rolling Stones, Walk Away - James Gang, Walk Like An Egyptian - Bangles, Walk Of Life - Dire Straits, Walk On - John Hiatt, Walk On Water - Eddie Money, Walkin' Blues - Paul Butterfield Blues Band, Walking On Broken Glass - Annie Lennox, Walking On Thin Ice - Yoko Ono, Walls - Tom Petty, Wanderer, The - Dave Edmunds, War - Bruce Springsteen, WAR - Edwin Starr, War Pigs - Black Sabbath, Warrior, The - Scandal, Wasp (Texas Radio & The Big Beat) - Doors, Wasted On the Way - Crosby, Stills & Nash, Wasted Time - Eagles, Watching And Waiting - Moody Blues, We Didn't Start The Fire - Billy Joel, We Don't Need Another Hero - Tina Turner, We Just Disagree - Dave Mason, Weight Of The World - Ringo Starr, Welcome To My Nightmare - Alice Cooper, Welcome To The Jungle - Guns N' Roses, Welcome To The Machine - Pink Floyd, We're An American Band - Grand Funk, We're Not Gonna Take It - The Who, What A Fool Believes - Doobie Brothers, What Do All The People Know? - Monroes, What Do You Want From Life - Tubes, What I Am - Edie Brickell & the New Bohemians, What Is And What Should Never Be - Led Zeppelin, What Kinda Guy? - Steve Forbert, What's Goin' On - Marvin Gaye, When Doves Cry - Prince, Where Have All The Good Times Gone - Van Halen, Where The Streets Have No Name - U2, While My Guitar Gently Weeps - Beatles, Whipping Post - Allman Brothers, Whisky Train - Procol Harum, Who's Crying Now - Journey, Wooden Ships - Crosby, Stills and Nash, World Turning - Fleetwood Mac, Would I Lie To You - Eurythmics, Yankee Doodle Dandy, You Better Run - Pat Benatar, You Better Think Twice - Poco, You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi, You Shook Me - AC/DC, You Shook Me - Led Zeppelin, You Wreck Me - Tom Petty, You'll Never Know - Ringo Starr, Young Americans - David Bowie, Your Life Is Now - John Mellencamp, Your Mama Don't Dance - Loggins & Messina, Your Smiling Face - James Taylor, Your so Vain - Carly Simon, Your Time Is Gonna Come - Led Zeppelin, You're Breaking My Heart - Harry Nilsson, You're No Good - Linda Ronstadt, You're So Vain - Carly Simon, Yours Is No Disgrace - Yes, You've Got Another Thing Coming - Judas Priest.

Got water?

$46 billion - Amount spent per year globally on bottled water

$1.7 billion - Amount needed per year beyond current spending to provide clean drinking water to everyone on earth

More than one billion - Number of people worldwide who lack reliable access to safe drinking water

80 - Percentage of world illnesses due to water-borne diseases

Source: The New York Times

Don't Take My Word For It

   "If you want to fight criminality and thieves, you have to cut off their on-going supplies of dirty cash. In today's world, dirty cash is 1) our tax dollars and 2) our interest payments on homes, cars, and credit cards and 3) monthly payments to mass media and communications all highly taxed, as well. If you pay into any of the above, you are growing the destruction of your nation and destroying your personal freedoms and your children's futures.    "Sell your homes. Do it now. There is absolutely no reason to own homes when 1) they are not yours and 2) they can be taken for any reason. Rent, and rent cheaply. Then you eliminate property taxes.

    "Sadly, American-style home ownership became the stuff of ego, snobbery, exclusion, segregation, and elitism. Home ownership in America is based upon whom to exclude and what to run from. This is no way to build a nation based upon loving your neighbors.
Second only to media partisanship, politically motivated home ownership did more to segregate and divide American people than any other orchestrated scam.
   "After you sell your homes, pay off every single debt that you have, and never acquire another debt. Sell your automobiles and buy vehicles that do not need to be licensed. REMEMBER THE REAL ID COMES TO LIFE IN 2008. If you do not agree with the Real ID, don't support the Real ID."
- Nancy Levant: Get Off the Globalization Grid -

     "On Sheehan, the grieving mother who has camped near his ranch since Aug. 6, the president said he strongly supports her right to protest. 'She expressed her opinion. I disagree with it,' Bush said. 'I think immediate withdrawal from Iraq would be a mistake,' he said. 'I think those who advocate immediate withdrawal from not only Iraq but the Middle East are advocating a policy that would weaken the United States.' (quote from AP story)
    "This is the biggest smokescreen from him yet. I didn't ask him to withdraw the troops, I asked him what Noble Cause did Casey die for. I am still waiting for one of the press corps to ask him that. I am still waiting for that answer. First, we were told WMD's: false. Then we were told Saddam=Osama: false. Then we were told Saddam was a bad man to his own people and we had to get rid of him: he's gone. Then we were told the Iraqi people had to have elections: they did. Now we are spreading 'freedom and democracy' but we are building 14 permanent bases, some the size of Sacramento, Ca. To me that indicates that we are spreading the cancer of imperialism and usurping THEIR natural resources."
- Cindy Sheehan: My Response to George As He Speaks from his Vacation away from his Vacation -

"In addition to the two-hour bike ride, Bush's Saturday schedule included an evening Little League Baseball playoff game, a lunch meeting with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, a nap, some fishing and some reading. We could also point out that yesterday, while thousands starved in Darfur, Bush ate a donut. The problem isn't that Bush was napping while Cindy Sheehan protested the war that got her son killed. The problem is that he was napping during the intelligence assessments that led up to the war that got her son killed."
- Wonkette -

"A man who has in mind an apparent advantage and promptly proceeds to dissociate this from the question of what is right shows himself to be mistaken and immoral. Such a standpoint is the parent of assassinations, poisonings, forged wills, thefts, malversations of public money, and the ruinous exploitation of provincials and Roman citizens alike. Another result is passionate desire - desire for excessive wealth, for unendurable tyranny, and ultimately for the despotic seizure of free states. These desires are the most horrible and repulsive things imaginable. The perverted intelligences of men who are animated by such feelings are competent to understand the material rewards, but not the penalties. I do not mean penalties established by law, for these they often escape. I mean the most terrible of all punishments: their own degradation."
- Marcus Tullius Cicero -

    "The importance of this week's revelation that an Army intelligence unit was tracking Mohammed Atta's movements in the U.S. during 1999 and 2000 is so mind-boggling that it seems nobody quite gets it yet...
    "You've been hearing it for three years in articles in the MadCowMorningNews, and in Welcome to TerrorLand.
    "Now you can hear it from an elite Army intelligence unit, one with at least several patriots with very large cojones. Their testimony is clear, explicit, and uncompromisingly contradicts the FBI's official story. Only one conclusion can be drawn from it...
   "The FBI has been telling a massive lie to the 9.11 Commission and the American people, a lie whose result has been to halt in its tracks, as a Commission spokesman freely admitted on Thursday, the investigation into the murder of almost 3000 people.
    "People go to jail for that sort of thing, don't they?"
- Daniel Hopsicker: Army Intel Unit Exposes Massive 9.11 FBI Cover-Up -

"If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere."
- Frank A. Clark -

"Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it."
- Xarvon, Alien Investigator -

    "The statistics describing the gap between rich and poor people on Earth are truly breathtaking. According to a recent report from the World Bank, in 2001, about 1.1 billion people, or one-fifth of the population of the world's poor countries, lived on less than what one dollar a day would buy in the United States. About 2.7 billion people, or more than half the developing world's population, lived on less than two dollars a day. In 2004, says the UN's Food and Agriculture Organization, 852 million people faced chronic hunger, up 15 million from the previous year. And in the same year, according to UNICEF, one billion children -- nearly half the children in the world -- were severely deprived. More than 600 million children didn't have adequate shelter, and every day, 4,000 died because of dirty water or poor sanitation.
   "Meanwhile, at the other end of the spectrum, in 2004 the world had 587 billionaires with a combined wealth of $1.9-trillion -- equivalent to nearly 20 per cent of the annual economic output of the United States. If liquidated, this wealth would have been sufficient to hire the poorest third of the world's workers for a whole year -- a labour force of nearly one billion people. The capacity of the world's wealthiest people to buy the labour of its poorest is probably the best measure of humankind's economic disparities, and never before have so few had the ability to command the labour of so many..."
- Thomas Homer-Dixon: The rich get richer, the poor get squat -

"What is wrong with priests and popes is that instead of being apostles and saints, they are nothing but empirics who say 'I know' instead of 'I am learning,' and pray for credulity and inertia as wise men pray for skepticism and activity." 
- George Bernard Shaw -

"Confusion is always the most honest response."
- Marty Indik -

"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."
- Rita Rudner -

"Get the facts first. You can distort them later."
- Mark Twain -

"The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
- Robert Benchley -

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is."
- Chuck Reid -

"Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves."
- Abraham Lincoln -

"Of all follies there is none greater than wanting to make the world a better place."
- Moliere -

    "Perhaps one of the most remarkable facts about the Iraq War is that despite all the errors and misjudgments, the Washington pundit class, which cheered the nation off to war, remains remarkably unchanged.
   "Though the Iraq War may be the most glaring example in decades of the U.S. government and the national news media letting down the American people and especially the troops sent off to fight, virtually no one responsible for this catastrophe has been punished.
   "While journalists have been fired for far less serious errors, there's been no known case of a media personality being publicly punished for buying into the Bush administrations bogus arguments for invading Iraq. Instead, many of these same media personalities continue to lecture the American people about what needs to be done in Iraq.
   "But this Bush cocoon started years ago, when journalists forgot that their first duty in a democracy was to give the people the truth as fully and fairly as possible, even if some Americans didn't want to hear it."
- Robert Parry: Explaining the Bush Cocoon -

    "In case $3-per-gallon gas isn't depressing enough, consider what your gas money pays for: A bull market in Saudi stocks. Handouts for Fidel Castro. And weapons for anti-American terrorists.
    "Oil-producing states haven't seen a windfall like this since the twin price shocks of the 1970s. Persian Gulf countries this year will earn about $291 billion in oil revenue vs. $61 billion in 1998, when oil prices tanked, according to the Institute of International Finance (IIF)."
- David J. Lynch: Do you know where your gas money goes? Oil-producing states enjoying the windfall -

"It also gives us a very special, secret pleasure to see how unaware the people around us are of what is really happening to them."
- Adolf Hitler -

"There is, doubtless, as much skill in pourtraying a Dunghill, as in describing the finest Palace, since the Excellence of Things lyes in the Performance; and Art as well as Nature must have some extraordinary Shape or Quality if it come up to the pitch of Human Fancy, especially to please in this Fickle, Uncertain Age."
- Memoirs of the Right Villanous John Hall, 1708 -

"The Art of War is so well study'd, and so equally known in all Places, that 'tis the longest Purse that conquers now, not the longest Sword. If there is any Country whose people are less martial, less enterprising, and less able for the Field; yet if they have but more Money than their Neighbors, they shall soon be superior to them in Strength, for Money is Power..."
- Daniel Defoe: A Plan of the English Commerce -

"Me miserable! which way shall I flie
Infinite wrauth, and infinite despaire?
Which way I flie is Hell; my self am Hell;
And in the lowest deep a lower deep
Still threatening to devour me opens wide,
To which the Hell I suffer seems a Heav'n."
- Milton: Paradise Lost -

"When at last I awakened, it was to discover myself half sucked into a slimy expanse of hellish black mire which extended about me in monotonous undulations as far as I could see, and in which my boat lay grounded some distance away. Though one might well imagine that my first sensation would be of wonder at so prodigious and unexpected a transformation of scenery, I was in reality more horrified than astonished; for there was in the air and in the rotting soil a sinister quality which chilled me to the very core. The region was putrid with the carcasses of decaying fish, and of other less describable things which I saw protruding from the nasty mud of the unending plain. Perhaps I should not hope to convey in mere words the unutterable hideousness that can dwell in absolute silence and barren immensity. There was nothing within hearing, and nothing in sight save a vast reach of black slime; yet the very completeness of the stillness and the homogeneity of the landscape oppressed me with a nauseating fear. The sun was blazing down from a sky which seemed to me almost black in its cloudless cruelty; as though reflecting the inky marsh beneath my feet. Nor were there any sea-fowl to prey upon the dead things."
- H.P. Lovecraft: Dagon -

"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek." 
- Joseph Campbell -

"Sharing is under siege. It is the sworn enemy of the global market - which is why so much of international trade law is designed to criminalize sharing."
- Naomi Klein -

"[O]f the liberated, occupied, afflicted, battered-to-despair Iraqi people, Americans see and hear and, worst of all, care almost nothing. The Iraqis might as well be digitized extras in a Hollywood epic, scurrying in the wide-screen background and being massacred en masse as some tanned specimen of all-American mansteak is heroically positioned in the foreground, giving orders to the lesser-paid stars in his squad as if he had just teleported in from the Battle of Thermopylae. Apart from an occasional dispatch (such as a CNN report on May 13), the ongoing agony of the Iraqi people is the huge, tragic unmentionable in the televised war coverage. Sydney Schanberg again: 'Can you recall the last time your hometown newspaper ran a picture spread of these human beings lying crumpled at the scene of the slaughter?' It doesn't seem to dawn on our pundits and leaders that when two dozen Iraqi police recruits are murdered by a car bomb it sends a shock wave through entire communities, leaving untold grieving widows, parents, siblings, children, friends, and co-workers behind to nurse their pain and rage. Imagine the impact it would have if 50 police or army recruits were wiped out over the course of a week in this country. Now imagine 50 dying every single week with no relief in sight and tell me the U.S. wouldn't be suffering a national nervous breakdown. But the Iraqi dead are discounted as the Price of Democracy. If Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Rice harbored any semblance of shame beneath their aluminum-foil vulcan armor, they would fall to their knees to express sorrow and beg forgiveness from the Iraqi people, even though Cheney might need help rising to his feet again. But of course they never will. They will continue to brazen it out, abetted by a milquetoast Mr. Media."
- James Wolcott: To Live and Die in Iraq, Vanity Fair, August 2005 -

"Someone who does not know the difference between good and evil is worth nothing."
- Miecyslaw Kasprzyk -

    "On August 10, 2005, a mother and daughter were violently taken into custody by at least seven Portland Oregon cops with no warrant. The mother, Lynnae Lake, did not resist arrest, but the cops beat the daylights out of her. The cops were reminded of their Constitutional responsibility in making an arrest, and replied 'We don't need a warrant and we don't have to give her her rights.'
    "The daughter, 9 year old Emily Lake, tried to protect her mother and was pepper sprayed TWICE."
- Leonard Henderson: The Lynnae and Emily Lake story -

"I'm frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in A, B, C, and D. Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me?"
- Sen. Barry Goldwater -

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
- Orson Welles -

"Three quarters of Americans believe the Bible teaches that 'God helps those who help themselves.' That is, three out of four Americans believe that this uber-American idea, a notion at the core of our current individualist politics and culture, which was in fact uttered by Ben Franklin, actually appears in Holy Scripture. The thing is, not only is Franklin's wisdom not biblical; it's counter-biblical. Few ideas could be further from the gospel message, with its radical summons to love of neighbor."
- Bill McKibben: The Christian Paradox -

"Prevents violence 
Encourages compassion 
Advances responsibility 
Cultivates integrity 
Empowers wholeness"
- Kelly Guinan: Go With Peace -

    "Leaked emails from two former prosecutors claim the military commissions set up to try detainees at Guantanamo Bay are rigged, fraudulent, and thin on evidence against the accused.
   "Two emails, which have been obtained by the ABC, were sent to supervisors in the Office of Military Commissions in March of last year - three months before Australian detainee David Hicks was charged and five months before his trial began.
    "The first email is from prosecutor Major Robert Preston to his supervisor. Maj. Preston writes that the process is perpetrating a fraud on the American people, and that the cases being pursued are marginal. 'I consider the insistence on pressing ahead with cases that would be marginal even if properly prepared to be a severe threat to the reputation of the military justice system and even a fraud on the American people,' Maj. Preston wrote. 'Surely they don't expect that this fairly half-arsed effort is all that we have been able to put together after all this time.'
   "Maj. Preston says he cannot continue to work on a process he considers morally, ethically and professionally intolerable. 'I lie awake worrying about this every night,' he wrote. 'I find it almost impossible to focus on my part of mission. After all, writing a motion saying that the process will be full and fair when you don't really believe it is kind of hard, particularly when you want to call yourself an officer and lawyer.'
   "Maj. Preston was transferred out of the Office of Military Commissions less than a month later.
   "The second email is written by another prosecutor, Captain John Carr, who also ended up leaving the department. Capt. Carr says the commissions appear to be rigged. 'When I volunteered to assist with this process and was assigned to this office, I expected there would at least be a minimal effort to establish a fair process and diligently prepare cases against significant accused,' he wrote. 'Instead, I find a half-hearted and disorganised effort by a skeleton group of relatively inexperienced attorneys to prosecute fairly low-level accused in a process that appears to be rigged.'"
- Leigh Sales: Leaked emails claim Guantanamo trials rigged -

   "The bomb dropped on Hiroshima contained less than 35kg of uranium and caused continuing radiation deaths for many years. It has been estimated that U.S. and British forces have used more than 800 tons of uranium-based weapons in the two Gulf wars and this material still lies in the countryside towns and cities of Iraq. The dust is breathed by Iraqi civilians and allied soldiers alike.
    "Across the road from me lives an Australian serviceman who was stationed in Hiroshima just after the bomb was dropped. Half his face is missing and cancer has riddled his body for many years now. He is one of the last survivors of his squadron. Most have died of strange illnesses or massive cancers. I wonder about the legacy of our dirty little nuclear war in Iraq and how long it will be before the public realizes just how dumb our smart weapons are."
- Doug Steley -

"There must be two Americas: one that sets the captive free, and one that takes a once-captive's new freedom away from him, and picks a quarrel with him with nothing to found it on; then kills him to get his land."
- Mark Twain -

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
- Mohandas Gandhi -

"No man is great enough or wise enough for any of us to surrender our destiny to. The only way in which anyone can lead us is to restore our belief in our own guidance."
- Henry Miller: The Wisdom of the Heart -

"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted."
- Fred Allen -

"Written laws are like spiders' webs, and will, like them, only entangle and hold the poor and weak, while the rich and powerful easily break through them." 
- Anacharsis, Scythian philosopher, 600 B.C. -

"I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."
- J.D. Salinger -

    "There is too much at stake to worry about our own egos. When my son was killed, I had to face the fact that I was somehow also responsible for what happened. Every American that allows this to continue has, to some extent, blood on their hands. Some of us have a little bit, and some of us are soaked in it.
    "People have asked what it is I want to say to President Bush. Well, my message is a simple one. He's said that my son - and the other children we've lost - died for a noble cause. I want to find out what that noble cause is. And I want to ask him: If it's such a noble cause, have you asked your daughters to enlist? Have you encouraged them to go take the place of soldiers who are on their third tour of duty? I also want him to stop using my son's name to justify the war. The idea that we have to complete the mission in Iraq to honor Casey's sacrifice is, to me, a sacrilege to my son's name. Besides, does the president any longer even know what 'the mission' really is over there?"
- Cindy Sheehan: This is George Bush's Accountability Moment -

"Meanwhile, the boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger."
- Dr. James C. Dobson: Can Homosexuality Be Treated and Prevented? (Certainly the most insane anti-gay rant of all time, and a barrel of laughs.) -

"Not only can operators pinpoint users to within yards of their location by 'triangulating' the signals from three base stations, but - according to a report in the Financial Times - the operators (under instructions from the authorities) can remotely install software onto a handset to activate the microphone even when the user is not making a call."
- Victor Keegan: Knowing me, knowing you -

    "A Brazilian shot to death a day after botched bombings in London had walked casually onto a train before being gunned down by undercover officers, according to leaked footage that appeared to contradict earlier police reports that said the man disobeyed police orders.
    "Jean Charles de Menezes, a 27-year-old electrician, was shot eight times last month in front of terrified commuters on a subway train, after undercover police tailed him from a house under surveillance.
    "Police first said the shooting was related to the failed bombings on the London transit system July 21 two weeks after four suspected suicide bombers blew themselves up in three Underground stations and aboard one double-decker bus.
    "Sir Ian Blair, the Metropolitan Police commissioner, called the death regrettable, but said it appeared 'the man was challenged and refused to obey police instructions.'
    "Citing security footage, a British television station reported Tuesday that Menezes entered the Stockwell subway station at a normal walking pace, stopping to pick up a newspaper before boarding a train and taking a seat."
- Michael McDonough: Footage Contradicts London Police Reports -

"It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office."
- H.L. Mencken -

"We have only to remove those who oppose us."
- Saruman: Lord of the Rings II - The Two Towers -

Everything Else

Support American-made products and services from American-owned companies by visiting How Americans Can Buy American. (Hint: no WalMart.)

Christopher Walken is not running for president. It was a hoax.

A 3D Ramones comic book plus all their CDs? How can you go wrong?

Eric Blumrich has made a superb video of Cindy Sheehan's vigil.

Here's a superb guide to the best and worst ecological seafood choices.

I'm afraid I must insist you read My Acid Trip with Groucho by Paul Krassner.