There Goes the Son

Again there was no Disinfotainment Today last week because:

a) I'm a lazy good-for-nothing bastard who doesn't give a damn about his readers.
b) I figure if I got away with it once, I can get away with it again.
c) Obviously the word "Today" in the title of this newspaper is a joke because I never have and never will come out daily unless someone pays me, so who says I have to come out with any regularity whatsoever?
d) I had something more important to do.

Answer d)

I was out of town for three days and the best thing about it is that I can now write about it legally. Before this, I could have gone to jail for writing about my son.

It's not paranoia when there's actually someone out to get you. After I allowed CBS to make an MOW about us, I had a judge look me in the eye and say "Mr. Dare, you obviously don't love your children, you're just out to exploit them." Then he charged me with contempt of court, eventually clearing me himself of the charges, and ordering me that if I ever WROTE ABOUT MY CHILDREN in any way, shape, or form, he would reinstate the charges.

Contempt is too weak a word for my feelings about the court. When it first happened, I couldn't be funny. This happened to Lenny Bruce. All he wanted to talk about was his legal problems and he stopped being funny too. But whatayuh gonna do, ignore your own personal life while writing for a newspaper written, edited, and published by you? 

The judge can't threaten to take my son Buster away any more because Buster has turned 18, left home, and flown the coop to New York to stay with a friend. He's beyond the jurisdiction of Juvenile Court, set free to the world with a valid ID, and you're damn right I'm going to write about him. I've sent Buster off with one hell of a childhood and I have no doubt the story will continue, yet waving goodbye at LAX and watching him go up the elevator to airport security was a monumental moment in my life and well worth capturing in print. Fuck the judge and the horse he rode in on. I'm not only going to write about it, I'm going to be funny about it. I can love my kids AND exploit them. One doesn't preclude the other. What's he going to do? After all, how's he going to find out? Are you going to tell him? I haven't even said his name. I'm not an idiot. If he finds out, it's because one of you, reading this right now, hired a private detective to find the judge and personally informed him that I was violating a court order. That's not going to happen, is it? Swear? Good.

It's the end of a long chapter in my life, the raising of Buster. I dedicated eighteen years to the events of September 25, 2005, the day in which my oldest son left home on his own for the first time. He boarded his jet at LAX at 12:30, bound for Islip, NY, where a friend has offered him a place to stay and a potential yacht ride down the coast to the Bahamas. We hugged, he headed up the escalator to further security before boarding, and my job was done. Eighteen years for that, a supreme moment, the most intense yin/yang of feelings I've ever experienced, with equal amounts of "Oh boy!" and "Oh no!" I miss him but he'll be back. ("Oh boy! Oh no!") He's having more fun that I'm having. ("Oh boy! Oh no!") My job is done. ("Oh boy! Oh no!") Five more years and Max is out of the house too. ("Oh boy! Oh no!")

The Story So Far in the Wrong Order

I didn't give him the upbringing I had planned. I lived in a spot halfway between Laurel Elementary and Fairfax High. He could walk to both as his education continued. Baby sitters were rare. When he was a baby, Patricia Arquette baby-sat once before she had ever appeared in a movie. Later, I took him with me when I interviewed Demi Moore and he played with Rumer while we talked.

That's the upbringing I pictured, a Hollywood baby, tied in from the start to a life of hip parties, art openings, and movie previews. Then fate intervened and we found ourselves in the middle of nowhere, miles from civilization, and I was raising a country boy whose only influence was me and media, with a dose of younger brother and desert, lots of desert, friends with the wildlife, playing with rattlesnakes and scorpions and tarantulas and bunnies, lots of bunnies, dozens of them circling our house every day. 

Max and Buster and tarantula

Total poverty. Not a spare penny. No more allowances, ever. No spare cash for food. Every single meal, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, for years, prepared by me, my life devoted to feeding and cleaning up after the kids. 

His childhood had a trajectory in common with my life and they both missed the mark, shot out of the sky by multiply twists of fate, landing in the vast uncharted territory between here and there. It wasn't a hurricane or a flood or an earthquake but it might as well have been. We had no control over it. It wasn't the life we led, it was life leading us, a sobering dose of reality with no one to turn to but ourselves. Part of his motivation to stay away is the prospect of coming back to the rat's nest we've called home for the past seven years.

Considering the circumstances, we got along amazingly well. We like the same books, the same movies, the same food, and amazingly enough, the same music. Gotta love a son who prefers Elvis Costello and John Prine to rap. 

One of the odd aspects of the disappearance of someone from your life is that you tend to remember with fondness the things about them that irritated you. I remember how he used to walk around with only one sock on, how he'd take off his shoes in different rooms so we could never find both at the same time. It drove me crazy when it happened, one of the things I tried most to change about him before he went off into the world, but now it's mysteriously one of the things I miss. 

Did I do a good job? Was it worth it? What manner of human have I set loose in the world? The extent of his success is the traditional measurement I'm supposed to apply to myself, but success, like God, has a wide range of definitions. At this point, his possibilities are infinite. He's been free a week. He could end up a shrimp boat captain if he didn't eat all the shrimp. He's a big boy, so I'm not really worried about him physically. Any gangs of ruffians looking to beat someone up would surely choose someone other than him, except for the cops, who beat him up mercilessly about two and a half years ago when they suspected he was shoplifting. He wasn't. He just wanted them to convince him to do what they said.

Why?

When he turned 13 something amazing happened. It's like he doubled in size, shooting up a good five inches taller than me, and suddenly he was out of control, literally, I couldn't control him. Up to this point, parental control consisted of physically being able to pick him up and remove him from the room when I said it was time for bed. Couldn't do that any more. After one monumental wrestling match, from 14 onward all I had at my disposal with Buster was coercion. I had to convince him to leave the room, to pick up after himself, and help with the dishes.

He got used to having to be convinced, which is how he got into trouble with the cops who didn't say please. At sixteen, I let out the leash a little bit, allowed him take a bus on his own to the other end of town, gave him an all day pass, and the next I heard was from the hospital that he'd been beaten up by police, was on his way to juvenile hall and WHAM, he wasn't mine any more, he was a ward of the state until off probation, two years to get him back before he turned 18 and was nobody's but his own.

Thus started an endless parade of probation officers who knew it was a dog of a case and didn't appreciate that they had to travel into the heart of nowhere to see us. At one point, I swear to God, two social workers showed up the dirt road to our house from a government office 40 miles away, one female, and one male, under orders to actually stare at my son's penis while he peed into a bottle. He came out clean. He's not an idiot either.

Conditions of probation were exasperating, and the probation officers kept changing. With every new PO we had to start all over from the boiler plate. No, we couldn't come into the office, you have to come see us. Yes, the bus not showing up IS a valid excuse for missing school. 

The final condition of ending probation was that he graduate high school or get a GED. Jay Levin (editor/publisher of the LA Weekly) paid for Buster's GED, Art Kunkin (editor/publisher of the LA Free Press) drove us to the College of the Desert to pay for it, Paul Krassner (editor/publisher of The Realist) rented us a car for the three days it took to take it, Buster passed which got him off probation so he could legally leave town, and Levin paid for his plane ticket. Which means it took the history of alternative journalism in America to get Buster out of the house.

I was prepared for things to be different at the airport since 9/11 but not this different. Wave goodbye to the entire concept of waving goodbye. Immediately after ticketing and baggage check-in, there's a sign saying "Nobody without tickets beyond this point." There's no waiting area. Nowhere to buy anything, not a drink, no bar, no rows of seats to hang out till they call your flight. This was goodbye, right there. I asked if there was any way I could get to the gate to wave goodbye and was told I needed a gate pass. We went back to ticketing and were told no one over eighteen was allowed family members to follow them to the gate. Only kids. If he were two months younger, I could have gotten a gate pass and said goodbye in a proper way, but I guess there is no proper way. I got a hug and he headed up the escalator on his own.

There is no angle from which one may see the runways in any way whatsoever. This is good if you're planning to shoot one down but bad if you want to wave goodbye to your son. Max and I went to the top of the parking garage where there was a little wedge of space between terminals. We could see the tails of two Deltas, and way back, we could see them taking off.

At precisely 12:30, one Delta plane backed out of the terminal and taxied towards the runway. Ten minutes later, a Delta took off and we knew that was him. Max and I waved at his brother flying off into the sky.

Your heart opens when you switch from take take take to give give give, so Buster, for the opening of my heart, I'll be forever grateful. Fly away, son, fly away.

Gallery of the Week

Liquid Sculpture is dedicated to artistic photographs of drops, splashes, and liquids

The FEMA Hotline

   "Thank you for calling the FEMA Hotline.
    "If your governor is a Democrat, please hang up and blame her. If your governor is a Republican, please praise President Bush and all Republicans for the terrific job they're doing. If you haven't had anything to eat or drink for 5 days or longer, please hang up and try again later, but don't complain to the media in the meantime. If you are up to your neck in water in your attic or dehydrating on your roof, just wait - the cavalry is on its way to save you! If you took water or food from a store to survive, stay right where you are - we will send someone over to shoot you. If you are a poor, black or unemployed victim of a hurricane or terrorist attack, please bend over and kiss your ass goodbye. To hear these options again, please hang up and try again later. To return to the main menu, please hang up and try again later. We apologize for any inconvenience. On second thought, don't try again later - our budget has been cut to pay for the Iraq War and we're stretched thin as it is.
    "And don't forget to donate generously to the Red Cross because we have no money left to take care of your problems."
- anonymous -

Sophistimicated Doowackies of the Week

   "I was opening up my almost brand new Dell 600m laptop, to replace a broken PCMCIA slot riser on the motherboard. As soon as I got the keyboard off, I noticed a small cable running from the keyboard connection underneath a piece of metal protecting the motherboard.
    "I figured 'No Big Deal', and continued with the disassembly. But when I got the metal panels off, I saw a small white heat-shrink-wrapped package. Being ever-curious, I sliced the heat-shrink open. I found a little circuit board inside.
    "Being an EE by trade, this piqued my curiosity considerably. On one side of the board, one Atmel AT45D041A four megabit Flash memory chip. On the other side, one Microchip Technology PIC16F876 Programmable Interrupt Controller, along with a little Fairchild Semiconductor CD4066BCM quad bilateral switch.
    "Looking further, I saw that the other end of the cable was connected to the integrated Ethernet board.
    "What could this mean? I called Dell tech support about it, and they said, and I quote, 'The integrated service tag identifier is there for assisting customers in the event of lost or misplaced personal information.' He then hung up.
    "A little more research, and I found that the board spliced in between the keyboard and the Ethernet chip is little more than a Keyghost hardware keylogger...
   "I called the police, as having a keylogger unknown to me in my laptop is a serious offense. They told me to call the Department of Homeland Security. At this point, I am in disbelief. Why would the DHS have a keylogger in my laptop? It was surreal."
- the rest

At Literature Map, you type in the name of one of your favorite authors and up come the names of all the other authors you'll probably like. Click on one of them and see the names change again. Go surfing through authors. Write down the name of one of them you've never heard of, go to the library, and check out one of their books. Write a review of it and send it to me.

Stupid Question of the Week

I just heard a Senator say that he voted for confirmation of John Roberts because he took him at his word that he "didn't have an ideological or political agenda." But Bush has an ideological and political agenda. If Roberts doesn't have a similar ideological or political agenda, why did Bush nominate him? Competence has never been one of Bush's requirements to nominate anyone to anything. Forget everything said at the confirmation hearings. Totally irrelevant. The simple fact that Bush nominated them is the only proof anyone needs that Edwards and Harriet Ellan Miers are unsuitable for any form of public service, much less the Supreme Court. They're not going to serve the public, they're going to serve Bush's ideological and political agenda. Fairly obvious to anyone with a brain.

Jokes Going Around

   Cheney is giving his daily staff meeting. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
   "OH NO!" the president exclaims. "That's terrible!"
   His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands.
   Finally, the president looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

There's very simple answer to how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. Our OIL is located in Alaska, California, Coastal Florida, Coastal Louisiana, Kansas, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, and Texas but our DIPSTICKS are located in Washington DC.

Satan Doesn't Want You to Know

"As formerly we suffered from crimes, so now we suffer from laws." 
- Cornelius Tacitus -

"Regardless of the result of the Iraqi people's vote on the constitution on 15 October, the reality is that it is a failed document, reflective of a failed process. A rejection would, in fact, represent a liberating moment for the decision-makers in Washington and London, enabling them to chart a new course free from the past." 
- Scott Ritter: The last thing Iraq needs now is the passing of its draft constitution. The West has embraced a radical pro-Iranian elite and created a festering wound with the Sunnis -

"It's working out very well for them."
- Barbara Bush -

"A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines."
- Frank Lloyd Wright -

"Treat a man as he is; he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be; and he will become as he can and should be."
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe -

"To be or not to be, the question that is."
- Yoda -

"If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day."
- John A. Wheeler -

"If something strange during the day you have not found, much of a day it hasn't been."
- Yoda again -

"Skip their spin. Here's the fundamental truth: President Bush, who is generally an irresponsible teenager in mindset and intelligence, does not give a damn how he or his party are doing. Like a senior in high school with a C-average, Bush knows he is a lame duck. He sees any problems for his administration as 'a pain in the ass' and a problem for his golf game. He wants to be left alone. He has no sense of or concern for his 'legacy' and is busy preparing himself to take his Daddy's place on the Board of Directors of the Pro-Arab Carlyle Group upon his retirement. That's all that need be said, thinks Bush. Let the politicians be damned - bring on the Jack Daniel's!"
- Jeff Koopersmith: Pundit Pap: Meet the Depressed -

"It's working out very well for them."
- Barbara Bush -

"Working out very well for them it is."
- Yoda (I'll shut up now.) -

    "Does Zarqawi have an infinite supply of lieutenants/deputies/aides/associates/second-in-commands/etc., or do we just arbitrarily declare that every 100th insurgent we capture or kill is 'a top aide' to Zarqawi? Discuss amongst yourselves.
   "Below is an almost comprehensive list (I'm sure I missed a few) of Zarqawi's 'top lieutenants' we've captured, killed, or acknowledged over the last two and a half years. I count 33."
- Blogenlust: Kiss of Death -

     "Hundreds of thousands of Americans around the country protested the Iraq War on the weekend of September 24-25, with the largest demonstration bringing between 100,000 and 300,000 to Washington, D.C. on Saturday.
    "But if you relied on television for your news, you'd hardly know the protests happened at all. According to the Nexis news database, the only mention on the network newscasts that Saturday came on the NBC Nightly News, where the massive march received all of 87 words. (ABC World News Tonight transcripts were not available for September 24, possibly due to pre- emption by college football.)
    "Cable coverage wasn't much better. CNN, for example, made only passing references to the weekend protests. CNN anchor Aaron Brown offered an interesting explanation (9/24/05): 'There was a huge 100,000 people in Washington protesting the war in Iraq today, and I sometimes today feel like I've heard from all 100,000 upset that they did not get any coverage, and it's true they didn't get any coverage. Many of them see conspiracy. I assure you there is none, but it's just the national story today and the national conversation today is the hurricane that put millions and millions of people at risk, and it's just kind of an accident of bad timing, and I know that won't satisfy anyone but that's the truth of it.'
   "To hear Brown tell it, a 24-hour cable news channel is somehow unable to cover more than one story at a time - and the 'national conversation' is something that CNN just listens in on, rather than helping to determine through its coverage choices."
- Disappearing Antiwar Protests. Media shrug off mass movement against war -

"This is inarguably a failure of leadership from the top of the federal government. Remember when Bill Clinton went out with Monica Lewinsky? That was inarguably a failure of judgment at the top. Democrats had to come out and risk losing credibility if they did not condemn Bill Clinton for his behavior. I believe Republicans are in the same position right now. And I will say this: Hurricane Katrina is George Bush's Monica Lewinsky. The only difference is that tens of thousands of people weren't stranded in Monica Lewinsky's vagina."
- Jon Stewart -

"That was the worst place in the universe. Ninety-eight per cent of the people around the world are good. In that place, 98 per cent of the people were bad. Everyone brought their drugs, they brought guns, they brought knives. Soldiers were shot. It was like a refugee camp within a prison. It was full on. It was the worst thing I have seen in my life. I have never been so frightened."
- Bud Hopes quoted in Australian tourists escape terror at Superdome, Rape threat to our women by Chris Tinkler & Daryl Passmore in the Melbourne Herald Sun -

    "Nearly 11 million households in the United States lack vehicles, according to the Census Bureau--which means that approximately 28 million people have difficulty evacuating their area in the event of an emergency. These people might take comfort in the vague reassurances of official disaster plans, such as the single sentence addressing the problem in New Orleans' Emergency Preparedness Guide: 'Local transportation will be mobilized to assist persons who lack transportation.' But they shouldn't.
   "'The fact is that in this country, we haven't paid adequate attention to this issue,' says Havidan Rodriguez, director of the Disaster Research Center at the University of Delaware. 'Most evacuation plans are based on the premise that people have transportation available to them--their private cars,' he explains. 'We think very little about people who don't have automobiles.'"
- Alison Stein Wellner: No Exit From the Danger Zone -

"It's working out very well for them."
- Barbara Bush -

"One of the images, shot by photographer Dave Martin for The Associated Press, shows a young black man wading through chest-deep waters after 'looting' a grocery store, according to the caption. In the other...a white man and a similarly light-skinned woman also waded through chest-deep water after 'finding' goods that included bread and soda in a local grocery store, according to the caption. Apparently,...it's not looting if you're white."
- Chicago Tribune -

    "The rumors are true this time. I was arrested in front of the White House today. It was my first time ever being arrested.     "We proceeded from Lafayette Park to the Guard House at the White House. I, my sister, and other Gold Star Families for Peace members and some Military Families requested to meet with the President again. We again wanted to know: What is the Noble Cause? Our request was, to our immense shock and surprise, denied. They wouldn't even deliver any letters or pictures of our killed loved ones to the White House.
    "We all know by now why George won't meet with parents of the soldiers he has killed who disagree with him. First of all, he hates it when people disagree with him. I am not so sure he hates it as much as he is in denial that it even happens. Secondly, he is a coward who arrogantly refuses to meet with the people who pay his salary. Maybe the next time one of us is asked by our bosses to have a performance review, or we are going to be written up for a workplace infraction, we should refuse to go and talk to our bosses citing the fact that the President doesn't have to. The third reason why he won't talk to us is that he knows there is no Noble Cause for the invasion and continued occupation of Iraq. It is a question that has no true answer.
    "After we were refused a meeting with the Disconnected One, we went over to right in front of our house - the White House (in front of the gate of course) and we sat down and refused to move until George came out and talked to us. We actually had a good time singing old church songs and old protest songs while we waited. I tied a picture of Casey on the White House fence and apparently, that is against the law, too.
    "After three warnings to get up and move off of the sidewalk in front of our house, we were arrested...
   "The fine for 'demonstrating without a permit' is $75.00. I am certain that I won't pay it. My court date is November 16th. Any lawyers out there want to help me challenge an unconstitutional law??"
- Cindy Sheehan: My First Time -

"Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is in prison."
- Henry David Thoreau -

    "Due to the revenues from its North Sea oil fields, Norway, which had adopted a Scandinavian welfare state model before the resource was exploited, has been able to bring its system of social organization to the highest level of development yet achieved in the world. For the past four years, the United Nations has ranked the country as the best place in the world to live...
   "Aside from the Government Petroleum Fund, which is currently valued at US$181.5 billion and is dedicated to care for future generations, the Norwegian state has used its surplus to develop a system of social services, including education, medical care, child care and elder care, that has placed the country high on global indices in those areas. Norway ranks first on the overall Human Development Index and on Save the Children's index of quality of child care. Like other modern Scandinavian states, Norway scores high on transparency, and it ranks first on Reporters Without Borders' Press Freedom Index. Despite the large role of the state sector in its economy, Norway scores above the eightieth percentile on indices of economic freedom and above the ninetieth percentile on indices of global economic competitiveness."
- Dr. Michael A. Weinstein: Intelligence Brief: Norway -

    "Today, the rights of all peace activists go on trial. Representing us are four Catholic antiwar activists who have already stood trial for their stand against the invasion of Iraq. Now, more than two years later, cleared of the original charge of criminal mischief, they are being charged with conspiracy and will be tried again.
    "THE ACCUSED: Four Catholic workers from Ithaca, N.Y. Daniel Burns works in the film industry and traveled to Iraq in 2003 to promote peace and reconciliation. Clare Grady has worked for 17 years as a kitchen coordinator at Loaves and Fishes Community Kitchen, a ministry that feeds the hungry. Peter de Mott is a former marine who served in Vietnam, then joined the Army and took a NATO post as a linguist. Peter, too, has traveled to Iraq as part of a Christian peacemaker team. Teresa Grady is a dance instructor and founder of the Ithaca Catholic Worker with a long history of working with the homeless.
    "THE CRIME: On March 17, 2003, Dan, Clare, Peter, and Teresa entered a military recruiting center in Lansing, N.Y., and poured a half cup of their own blood around the vestibule. No one was prevented from entering or leaving the recruiting center as they then knelt and read the following statement: 

    Our apologies, dear friends, for the fracture of good order. As our nation prepares to escalate the war on the people of Iraq by sending hundreds of thousands of U.S. soldiers to invade, we pour our blood on the walls of this military recruiting center. We mark this recruiting office with our own blood to remind ourselves and others of the cost in human life of our government's warmaking.
   Killing is wrong. Preparations for killing are wrong. The work done by the Pentagon with the connivance of this military recruiting station ends with the shedding of blood, and God tells us to turn away from it. Blood is the symbol of life. All life is holy. All people are created in the image and likeness of God. All people are family, and everyone is loved by God.
   Dr. Martin Luther King reminds us that "we are called to speak for the weak, for the voiceless, for the victims of our nation, for those it calls 'enemy,' for no document from human hands can make these humans any less our brothers [and sisters]."
   We come here today with pictures of Iraqi people mothers, children, those who have been the victims of U.S. bombardment and sanctions for the past 12 years. We also come here with love in our hearts for the U.S. service people, also victims of warmaking.
   We find hope in these dark times when sisters and brothers around the world resist the spirit of hatred and violence, lift up prayers for peace together with works for peace.
   The St. Patrick's Four

    "A year later, however, the U.S. government decided to retry the four peace activists, this time on the more serious charges of conspiracy. Technically, they are charged with conspiracy to impede "by force, intimidation, and threat" an officer of the United States, and three lesser charges. The trial begins Monday Sept. 19, and if the four are convicted, the penalty could be up to six years in prison and $250,000 in fines."
- Leigh Saavedra: Today, the Antiwar Movement Goes on Trial -

"Our actions were lawful, however, we were repeatedly denied the chance to explain why. We were not allowed to mention Article VI, paragraph four of the Constitution, which says that the treaties of the United States are the supreme law of the land. We were not allowed to explain our actions in the context of the Nuremberg Principles, which declare that citizens can be held responsible for crimes of their government. Nor could we explain how this war was a violation of the UN Charter. The jury made a wise choice with what they had. It's unfortunate, however, that they were denied the full truth."
- Teresa Grady, one of the St. Patrick's Four Found Not-Guilty of Conspiracy -

    "In a major show of force, British soldiers used tanks to break down the walls of the central jail in this southern city late Monday and freed two Britons, allegedly undercover commandos, who had been arrested on charges of shooting two Iraqi policemen.     "About 150 Iraqi prisoners also fled as British commandos stormed inside and rescued their comrades, said Aquil Jabbar, an Iraqi television cameraman who lives across the street from the jail. Earlier Monday, demonstrators hurled stones and Molotov cocktails at British tanks, and at least four people were killed.
    "The fighting in the oil city of Basra, 340 miles south of the capital, erupted after British armor encircled the jail where the two Britons were being held. During the melee one British soldier could be seen in a photograph scrambling for his life from a burning tank and the rock-throwing mob.
    "Arab satellite television stations showed pictures of two Western men sitting on the floor of the jail building with their hands tied behind their backs.
    "One of the men had a bandage covering most of the top of his head, the other had blood on his clothes. Television commentary identified them only as Britons."
- Abbas Fayadh: British forces attack Iraqi jail, free 2 captured Britons -

    "Never miss the Saturday paper. Because it's the skimpiest and least-circulated edition of the week, it's the venue of choice for lowballing the stories the government can't completely cover up. September 24's New York Times, for example, contained the bombshell revelation that the U.S. government continues to torture innocent men, women and children in Iraq.
    "An army captain and two sergeants from the elite 82nd Airborne Division confirm previous reports that Bagram and other concentration camps in U.S.-occupied Afghanistan are a kind of Torture University where American troops are taught how to abuse prisoners who have neither been charged with nor found guilty of any crime. 'The soldiers told Human Rights Watch that while they were serving in Afghanistan,' reports The Times, 'they learned the stress techniques [sic] from watching Central Intelligence Agency operatives interrogating prisoners.' Veterans who served as prison guards in Afghanistan went on to apply their newfound knowledge at Abu Ghraib and other facilities in U.S.-occupied Iraq.
    "One of the sergeants, his name withheld to protect him from Pentagon reprisals, confirms that torture continued even after the Abu Ghraib scandal broke. 'We still did it, but we were careful,' he told HRW."
- Ted Rall: Who Did You Torture During the War, Daddy? -

"A plague? A plague to end all plagues, agent Mulder. A silent weapon for a quiet war. A systematic release of an indiscriminate organism, for which the men who will bring it on still have no cure. They've been working on this for fifty years! While the rest of us have been fighting 'gooks and commies' these men have been secretly negotiating a planned Armageddon.... It'll happen on a Holiday when people are away from their homes. The president will declare a state of emergency and all government, all federal agencies will come under the power of FEMA... the secret government."
- X Files the Movie -

"The only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it's good-bye to the Bill of Rights."
- H.L. Mencken -

"We're completely surrounded. That simplifies the problem."
- Lewis B. "Chesty" Puller, USMC -

   "Internet users hoping to protect their privacy by using anti-virus software, Web anonymizers, false identities and disabled cookies on their computer's Web browser have something new to worry about a patent filed by the National Security Agency (NSA) for technology that will identify the physical location of any Web surfer.
   "Patent 6,947,978, granted this week, describes a process based on latency, or time lag between computers exchanging data, of 'numerous' known locations on the Internet to build a 'network latency topology map' for all users. Identifying the physical location of an individual user, reports CNET News.com, could then be accomplished by measuring how long it takes to connect to an unknown computer from numerous known machines, and using the latency response to display location on a map."
- National Security Agency gets fix on Internet users. Top secret group applies for patent to ID physical address of Web surfers -

"Mankind, it seems, makes a poorer performance of government than of almost any human activity. In this sphere, wisdom, which may be defended as the exercise of judgment acting on experience, common sense and available information, is less operative and more frustrated than it should be. Why do holders of high office so often act contrary to the way reason points and enlightened self-interest suggests? Why does intelligent mental process seem so often not to function?"
- Barbara Tuchman: The March of Folly: From Troy to Vietnam -

    "An extraordinary appeal to Americans from the Bush administration for money to help pay for the reconstruction of Iraq has raised only $600, The Observer has learnt. Yet since the appeal was launched earlier this month, donations to rebuild New Orleans have attracted hundreds of millions of dollars. The public's reluctance to contribute much more than the cost of two iPods to the administration's attempt to offer citizens 'a further stake in building a free and prosperous Iraq' has been seized on by critics as evidence of growing ambivalence over that country.
    "This coincides with concern over the increasing cost of the war. More than $30 billion has been appropriated for the reconstruction. Initially, America's overseas aid agency, US aid, expected it to cost taxpayers no more than $1.7bn, but it is now asking the public if they want to contribute even more.
    "It is understood to be the first time that a US government has made an appeal to taxpayers for foreign aid money. Contributors have no way of knowing who will receive their donations or even where they may go, after officials said details had be kept secret for security reasons."
-  Mark Townsend: Bush plea for cash to rebuild Iraq raises $600 -

"According to reports now, Iraqi officials have embezzled over one billion dollars. One billion dollars! So apparently they really do have a U.S.-style democracy."
- David Letterman -

    "Now that all but the most partisan and stubborn defenders of President Bush agree that he screwed up his response to Katrina, and nearly as many agree that he screwed up the occupation of Iraq, it probably seems unnecessary to continue beating up the administration over those failures of the past.
    "Instead, I say we dwell on some other administration foul-ups from even further in the past that most people have forgotten about by now. You know, in the spirit of magnanimity.    "I'm thinking specifically of two controversies. First, the administration's failure to act on intelligence that could have stopped the Sept. 11 attacks. And second, its refusal to commit ground troops to the battle of Tora Bora in 2001, leading to the escape of Osama bin Laden and his lieutenants.
   "In both cases, the administration received the benefit of the doubt. In light of what we now know about the administration's incompetence, however, this benefit is wholly unwarranted."
- Jonathan Chait: Too many free passes (LA Times!) -

    "Maybe, just maybe, the public is beginning to see through the toxic fog of fantasy, propaganda, and deliberate misrepresentation that has been such a hallmark of the George W. Bush Administration, which is in danger of being judged by history as one of the worst of all time.
   "Mr. Bush's approval ratings have tanked as increasing numbers of Americans worry that their president, who seems to like nothing better than running-off to his ranch to clear brush and ride his bike, may not be up to the job."
- Bob Herbert: Voters' Remorse on Bush (NY Times!) -

"Others are engaging even in an eco-type of terrorism whereby they can alter the climate, set off earthquakes, volcanoes remotely through the use of electromagnetic waves. So there are plenty of ingenious minds out there that are at work finding ways in which they can wreak terror upon other nations. It's real, and that's the reason why we have to intensify our efforts, and that's why this is so important."
- Former Defense Secretary William S. Cohen: DoD News Briefing, Monday, April 28, 1997 -

"President Bush, a recovering alcoholic,has 'fallen off the wagon' again according to First Lady Laura Bush in comments made on Disney owned KABC Radio in Los Angeles this morning. Apparently, a series of major problems that have fallen on the shoulders of the president recently have caused the 'Commander in Chief' to pick up the whiskey once more. The fact that Bush Jr's popularity is at the lowest, according to political polls, does not help the president to maintain his sobriety. This in combination with the recent Katrina fiasco, being hounded by grieving mother Cindy Sheehan who's son was needlessly killed in Iraq and the impending Hurricane Rita about to hit his home state of Texas is just too much for George Bush to take. The rising rate of US troop casualties in Iraq at the hands of determined insurgents is not helping much either."
- Ernesto Cienfuegos: George Bush Jr. hits the bottle again! -

    "asap is AP's new multimedia service featuring original content designed to appeal to under-35-year-old readers, a coveted but elusive audience, and to connect with them on their terms.    "asap builds on what makes AP great: the highest standards of journalism, global reach, creativity and staff dedication. Grounded in these values, this new product is provocative, smart, relevant and immediate.
   "The exclusive content is unlike any you have seen before. A diverse team of AP reporters and editors produced original material with a fresh voice, style and presentation. In addition, asap taps the smarts and talent of AP bureaus around the world to offer a global perspective and on-the-ground coverage in ways nobody else can."
- AP -

   "Former U.S. president Jimmy Carter delivered a shocker at an American University panel in Washington Monday: RAW STORY has learned he told the crowd he was certain Al Gore won the 2000 presidential election. There is 'no doubt in my mind that Gore won the election,' the erstwhile President declared, saying the 2000 election process 'failed abysmally.'
    "He also snubbed the Supreme Court for getting involved, saying it was 'highly partisan.'"
- John Byrne: Carter says Gore won 2000 election -

   "Thousands of civilians have fled the Iraqi town of al-Qaim near the Syrian border following the start of a fresh US military offensive against insurgents in nearby villages, local government officials said on Sunday.
   "They told IRIN that about 600 families had abandoned al-Qaim, a small town in the Euphrates river valley, since the offensive began on Saturday. The number of people displaced by the fighting was expected to increase rapidly, they added.
   "Many of those fleeing by car and on foot from al-Qaim, 12 km from the Syrian border, said they were taken by surprise by the latest US-led offensive."
- IRIN: Thousands of civilians flee U.S. military offensive near Syrian border -

"It's working out very well for them."
- Barbara Bush -

    "George W. Bush will go down in history as the president who fiddled while America lost its superpower status.
    "Bush used deceit and hysteria to lead America into a war that is bleeding the US economically, militarily, and diplomatically. The war is being fought with hundreds of billions of dollars borrowed from foreigners. The war is bleeding the military of troops and commitments. The war has ended the US claim to moral leadership and exposed the US as a reckless and aggressive power.
    "Focused on a concocted 'war on terrorism,' the Bush administration diverted money from the New Orleans levees to Iraq, with the consequence that the US now has a $100 billion rebuild bill on top of the war bill.
    "The US is so short of troops that neoconservatives are advocating the use of foreign mercenaries paid with US citizenship.
    "US efforts to isolate Iran have been blocked by Russia and China, nuclear powers that Bush cannot bully.
    "The Iraqi war has three beneficiaries: (1) al Qaeda, (2) Iran and (3) US war industries and Bush-Cheney cronies who receive no-bid contracts.
    "Everyone else is a loser."
- Paul Craig Roberts: Iraq War Winners: Al-Qaeda, Iran and Military Contractors. America is Running Out of Time -

    "Depressed and demoralized White House staffers say working at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is life in a hellhole as they try to deal with a sullen, moody President whose temper tantrums drive staffers crying from the room and bring the business of running the country to a halt.
    "'It's like working in an insane asylum,' says one White House aide. 'People walk around like they're in a trance. We're the dance band on the Titanic, playing out our last songs to people who know the ship is sinking and none of us are going to make it.'
    "Increasing reports from the usually tight-lipped staff of the Bush Administration talk of a West Wing dominated by gallows humor, long faces and a depression that has all but paralyzed daily routines."
- Doug Thompson: Bush's Depression -

    "Most Americans like to believe they live in the best country in the world. They don't. According to the United Nations Human Development Report for 2005, Norway is number one. Why? It's a welfare state.
   "There is a pleasant economic equality enjoyed by the Norwegian polity. No one is too poor; no one is too rich. In fact, great wealth is regarded as some sort of social disease. Third oil exporter after Saudi Arabia and Russia, Norway is tucking away a national fund of over $180 billion for when the oil runs out, guaranteeing each family the quaint sum of $22,000 per year in addition to guaranteed health care, education, pensions, and paid maternity leaves and vacations to die for! True, a glass of beer will cost you $8, but the waiter makes a good salary.
   "Americans like to think that terrorists attack them because they are rich, free, and number one. Not true. They don't attack Norway - another benefit for keeping your neck out of the woods, minding your own business, taking care of your own people, and planning for tomorrow - not to mention preventing your government from being drowned in the bathtub by snake-oil salesmen posing as public servants, so it can't help when an iceberg hits a fjord, or equivalent natural disaster. Norwegians seem proud of having government on their backs! Not too heavy when they can request and obtain any government record they please for their review! They are also disgustingly healthy. Must be the lack of stress. Thirty million Americans are on anti-depressants. You wonder why."
- Luciana Bohne: If it's freedom and success 'they' hate, why aren't 'they' attacking Norway? -

    "A famous gay penguin at New York's Central Park Zoo has re-ignited the culture wars over homosexuality by going straight. Silo, a chinstrap penguin, had been in a six-year relationship with another 18-year-old male called Roy. The pair even raised a chick together when their keepers gave them a donated egg, after they tried unsuccessfully to hatch a rock...
   "But Silo walked out on Roy for a girlfriend from California called Scrappy, which moved to Central Park from San Diego's SeaWorld. The new heterosexual couple built a nest and hang out by the pool, while Roy broods alone."
- James Bone: Gay icon causes a flap by picking up a female -

"No comment."
- Richard Simmons -

    "On Sept. 1, as tens of thousands of desperate Louisianans packed the New Orleans Superdome and convention center, the Federal Emergency Management Agency pleaded with the U.S. Military Sealift Command: The government needed 10,000 berths on full-service cruise ships, FEMA said, and it needed the deal done by noon the next day.
    "The hasty appeal yielded one of the most controversial contracts of the Hurricane Katrina relief operation, a $236 million agreement with Carnival Cruise Lines for three ships that now bob more than half empty in the Mississippi River and Mobile Bay. The six-month contract -- staunchly defended by Carnival but castigated by politicians from both parties -- has come to exemplify the cost of haste that followed Katrina's strike and FEMA's lack of preparation.
    "To critics, the price is exorbitant. If the ships were at capacity, with 7,116 evacuees, for six months, the price per evacuee would total $1,275 a week, according to calculations by aides to Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.). A seven-day western Caribbean cruise out of Galveston can be had for $599 a person -- and that would include entertainment and the cost of actually making the ship move."
- Jonathan Weisman: FEMA criticized for cruise ship deal -

   "The Iraqi war crimes tribunal's first case against Saddam, which opens Oct. 19, charges him with the 1982 massacre of at least 143 men and boys from the village of Dujail. This was meant to be a test case of manageable scope and strong evidence.
    "Unfortunately, Laith Kubba, a spokesman for Prime Minister Ibrahim al-Jaafari, says that once the court has reached a guilty verdict in the Dujail case, the near-certain sentence of death 'should be implemented without further delay.'
    "But if Saddam is executed for the Dujail killings, he will never be called to account for the larger atrocities on which he was arraigned in July 2004: killing political rivals, crushing the Shiite uprising in southern Iraq in 1991, invading Kuwait in 1990 and waging the genocidal Anfal campaign against the Kurds in 1988, including gassing Kurdish villagers at Halabja."
- Gary J. Bass: Don't rush to final judgment -

    "French and American intelligence agents have arrested Barbara Olson, the wife of a former Bush administration official, a few days ago on the Polish-Austrian border, according to agents close to and with knowledge of the incident.
    "The alleged 9.11 Pentagon crash victim was found to be in possession of millions in fake interbank Italian lyra currency, according to the agents.
    "Olson was also reportedly in possession of a fraudulent Vatican passport and was held on charges of counterfeiting."
- Tom Flocco: 9-11 crash victim Barbara Olson arrested in Europe -

"Hello Tom, there appears to be a serious problem geographically with your story about Barbara Olsen's arrest at the Polish-Austrian border, . . . B-E-C-A-U-S-E . . . Poland and Austria have NO common / no joining border. Between the nations of Poland and Austria there is the Czech Republic and further East is Slovakia in between."
- Wolfram Graetz -

"I'm dead, which is very similar to being on the Polish-Austrian border."
- Barbara Olson -

    "Imagine if, in advance of Hurricane Katrina, thousands of trucks had been waiting with water and ice and medicine and other supplies. Imagine if 4,000 National Guardsmen and an equal number of emergency aid workers from around the country had been moved into place, and five million meals had been ready to serve. Imagine if scores of mobile satellite-communications stations had been prepared to move in instantly, ensuring that rescuers could talk to one another. Imagine if all this had been managed by a federal-and-state task force that not only directed the government response but also helped coordinate the Red Cross, the Salvation Army, and other outside groups.
    "Actually, this requires no imagination: it is exactly what the Bush administration did a year ago when Florida braced for Hurricane Frances. Of course the circumstances then were very special: it was two months before the presidential election, and Florida's twenty-seven electoral votes were hanging in the balance. It is hardly surprising that Washington ensured the success of 'the largest response to a natural disaster we've ever had in this country.' The president himself passed out water bottles to Floridians driven from their homes."
- Richard A. Clarke: Things Left Undone - Why has an administration that talks so much about homeland security been so unable to secure the homeland? -

"I have lived in Israel all of my life, for 18 years. Throughout these years I have been witnessing endless suffering around me, I have been seeing revenge leading to revenge and more revenge. Nothing has helped me understand the explanations and excuses that I have heard as to why the violence perpetrated by the Israeli side is to be preferred over that coming from the Palestinian side. The use of violence, killings, and intended harm and humiliation cannot be justified, I believe, and I cannot understand why it is presented as necessary. I cannot see any advantage in the intimidation of an entire population - all I can see is suffering heaped upon even more suffering - revenge causing revenge causing more revenge... I am therefore letting you know that I shall not serve in the Israeli army."
- Uri Natan, sentenced to Israeli military jail for refusing induction, in a letter to the Minister of Defense -

"I do know that it's true that if you wanted to reduce crime ... if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down."
- Bill Bennett -

"Since 9-11, he has steadfastly refused to discuss the evidence of government complicity and prior knowledge. Furthermore, he claims that the Council on Foreign Relations (CFR), Bilderberg Committee, and Trilateral Commission are 'nothing organizations.' When critiquing poverty, he never mentions the Federal Reserve and their role in manipulating the cycle of debt. Similarly, he claims the CIA was never a rogue organization and is an innocent scapegoat; that JFK was killed by the lone assassin Lee Harvey Oswald; that the obvious vote fraud in 2004 did not occur..."
- Daniel L. Abrahamson: Noam Chomsky - Controlled Asset Of The New World Order -

"In the eyes of empire builders, men are not men but instruments."
- Napoleon Bonaparte -

"CORRECTION: We erroneously reported that President Bush had appointed a timber company lobbyist to head the National Forest Service, a partner in a law firm most well known for union-busting as Assistant Secretary of Labor, a mining industry lobbyist who believes public lands are unconstitutional to be in charge of public lands, a utility lobbyist who represented the nation's worst polluters as head of the Clean Air Division at the EPA, a lobbyist for the American Petroleum Institute onto the Council on Environmental Quality and a veteran to head the Women's Health Section of the FDA. In fact, the woman he named to head the Women's Health Section of the FDA is not a veteran. She is a veterinarian. We regret any confusion this may have caused." 
- Ironic Times -

    "Less than a month after Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans and parts of Mississippi, and only a few days after Hurricane Rita hit Texas and Louisiana, the Bush administration is using these disasters as a pretext to expand the domestic role of the military, attack social programs, and further enrich a tiny layer of the population.
   "As Hurricane Rita made landfall Saturday morning, Bush was in Colorado Springs, Colorado, holed up at the headquarters of the US Northern Command. The Northern Command is tasked with overseeing military operations in North America, including the US. His trip there was a deliberate attempt to promote the military as the most important institution for handling natural disasters."
- Joseph Kay: In the wake of Katrina and Rita, Bush administration to expand military powers, attack social programs -

"It's working out very well for them."
- Barbara Bush -

    "The latest example of the Republican Party's seeming insatiable desire to eviscerate constitutional liberties is the announcement by President Bush that he seeks to federalize domestic emergencies. According to The Washington Times, 'President Bush yesterday [September 26, 2005] sought to federalize hurricane-relief efforts, removing governors from the decision-making process...'"'
   "Before the American people allow their congressmen to yield to the president's thirst for greater and greater federal expansion into the affairs of states and local communities, however, they need to realize that the end result of this power-grab will only prove to be an unmitigated disaster for liberty! In fact, it would literally undo the American experiment and turn our country into a monarchy at worst or an oligarchy at best.
    "Military personnel are not trained (and should not be) for domestic law-enforcement. They cannot worry about Mirandizing suspects or waiting for search warrants. Their concern is not about the right of Habeas Corpus or the laws against searches and seizures. To them is committed the waging of war. They are trained to kill and destroy. Do we really want to send soldiers and Marines into our own streets and neighborhoods with their guns turned on American citizens? God forbid!" 
- Pastor Chuck Baldwin: Is it the Republican Party, G.W. Bush, or Both? - 

"It's working out very well for them."
- Barbara Bush -

    "At approximately 1pm on Sept 30, Sgt. Richard H. Wheeler and State Trooper Vasquez delivered a notice to Charles T. Peterson at the doorstep of his home in Springfield, MA. Charles was the student who was sprayed in the face with mace by Officer Scott Landry at the protest against military recruiters at Holyoke Community College on September 29.
   "The notice read: 'Because of your conduct on the property of Holyoke Community College, your presence is no longer desired at Holyoke Community College, its property or buildings. Your failure to abide by said trespass notice will result in your arrest and court prosecution for trespassing. This notice will remain in effect untill [sic] revoked in writing by the Holyoke Community College Police Department.'
   "This is in clear violation of the Colleges own stated policy that students, 'have the right to procedural due process in grievance and disciplinary hearings.'"
- Student who was Maced By Police is Now Banned from Campus! -

"An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have because the older she gets, the more he is interested in her."
- Dame Agatha Christie -

    "Last Friday I sent out a story titled: 'Breaking News... 9-11 crash victim Barbara Olson arrested in Europe...'
   "My apologies for not checking this out further before sending it on, as I usually do. I received it from 3 usually very reliable sources, and I was in a bit of a rush, heading out of town. Many readers of this newsletter saw through it, as there were several obvious errors in the story. The most glaring error was that the arrest supposedly took place at the 'Polish-Austrian' border. However, these two countries do not share a border... ooops. Also, the Italian 'lyra' [sic] or 'lira' is no longer tenable currency -- it ceased to be legal tender on February 28, 2002 -- which makes claims about fake "lyra" currency all the more improbable along with everything else claimed in the article. In addition, no reputable European or other news sites ran this story.
   "My humble apologies for getting snookered and passing this off to you as breaking news. And, my gratitude to all of you who wrote to me to tell me your concerns about the validity of this report."
- Tom Flocco -

"Lost faith in you I have."
- Yoda back again -

   "Complete vaporization of fuel is far from perfect in today's cars and trucks. A certain amount of residual fuel in most engines remains liquid in the hot chamber. In order to be fully combusted, the fuel must be fully vaporized.
   "Surface tension presents an obstacle to vaporization. For instance the energy barrier from surface tension can sometimes force water to reach 300 degrees Fahrenheit before it vaporizes. Similarly with gasoline.
   "Acetone drastically reduces the surface tension. Most fuel molecules are sluggish with respect to their natural frequency. Acetone has an inherent molecular vibration that "stirs up" the fuel molecules, to break the surface tension. This results in a more complete vaporization with other factors remaining the same. More complete vaporization means less wasted fuel, hence the increased gas mileage from the increased thermal efficiency.    "That excess fuel was formerly wasted past the rings or sent out the tailpipe but when mixed with acetone it gets burned, though the engine still thinks it is running straight gas.
   "Acetone allows gasoline to behave more like the ideal automotive fuel which is PROPANE. The degree of improved mileage depends on how much unburned fuel you are presently wasting. You might gain 15 to 35-percent better economy from the use of acetone. Sometimes even more."
- Louis LaPointe: Acetone In Fuel Said to Increase Mileage - (more)

    "More than a year after his controversial report calling into question President Bush's National Guard service - a story based on forged documents - former CBS news anchor Dan Rather is standing by the broadcast.
    "'I believed in the story. The facts of the story were correct,' Rather told former newsman Marvin Kalb in an interview broadcast on C-SPAN last night. 'One supporting pillar of the story, albeit an important one, one supporting pillar was brought into question. To this day, no one has proven whether it was what it purported to be or not.'
    "To be sure of what he was just told, Kalb responded, 'I believe you just said that you think the story is accurate.'     "'The story is accurate,' Rather reiterated."
- Dan Rather unrepentant: Story on Bush 'accurate' Despite using forged documents, ex-CBS anchor stands by report -

    "On Monday, two British soldiers were arrested and detained by Iraqi police in Basra. Within a matter of hours, the British military responded with overwhelming force, despite subsequent denials by the Ministry of Defence, which insisted that the two men had been retrieved solely through 'negotiations.'
    "British military officials, including Brigadier John Lorimer, told BBC News (9/20/05) that the British Army had stormed an Iraqi police station to locate the detainees. Ministry of Defence sources confirmed that 'British vehicles' had attempted to 'maintain a cordon' outside the police station.
    "After British Army tanks 'flattened the wall' of the station, UK troops 'broke into the police station to confirm the men were not there' and then 'staged a rescue from a house in Basra', according a commanding officer familiar with the operation. Both men, British defence sources told the BBC's Richard Galpin in Baghdad, were 'members of the SAS elite special forces.' After their arrest, the soldiers were over to the local militia.
    "What had prompted this bizarre turn of events? Why had the Iraqi police forces, which normally work in close cooperation with coalition military forces, arrested two British SAS soldiers, and then handed them over to the local militia?"
- Nafeez Ahmed: CAUGHT RED-HANDED - British Undercover Operatives in Iraq -

"Since when do you have to agree with people to defend them from injustice?"
- Lillian Hellman -

"Polite conservationists leave no mark save the scars upon the Earth that could have been prevented had they stood their ground."
- David Ross Brower -

"Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one's self-esteem."
- Thomas Szasz -

"It used to be that an heiress who inherited $600 million would pay the same effective 39.6% top rate on her $20 million a year in dividends that a surgeon would pay on his $300,000 in 'earned income.' But in recent years the Republican leadership has cut her top tax rate from 39.6% to 15%, while cutting the surgeon's top bracket from 39.6% to 35%."
- Andrew Tobias: The Work Penalty -

"If we were suddenly informed that a terrible flood was coming in ten minutes, some of us would sit down and pray, some of us would sit down and cry, and some of us would feel we have nine minutes to learn how to live under water."
- Noah benShea -

"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents."
- H. P. Lovecraft: The Call of Cthulhu - 

"The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern."
- Lord Acton - 

"The only reward of virtue is virtue."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson - 

"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
- Noel Coward -

"By amending our mistakes, we get wisdom. By defending our faults, we betray an unsound mind."
- The Sutra of Hui Neng -

"It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours."
- Harry S Truman - 

"Strive constantly to serve the welfare of the world; by devotion to selfless work one attains the supreme goal of life. Do your work with the welfare of others always in mind." 
- Bhagavad Gita 3:19-20 -

"Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong."
- Dandemis -

"It is said that power corrupts, but actually it's more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power."
- David Brin -

"If you return kindness for injuries received and forget both, Those who harmed you will be punished by their own shame." 
- Tirukkural 314 -

"Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's characters."
- Margaret Halsey -

"Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work."
- Gallagher -

"It is undesirable to believe a proposition when there is no ground whatsoever for supposing it is true."
- Bertrand Russell -

"Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?"
- Spike Milligan -

"Critics are usually kinder to cheaper movies than to those they perceive to be big Hollywood releases. They cut you a lot more slack if you spend less money, which makes no sense."
- Ethan Coen -

"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence."
- Robert Frost -

"Panhandling contrarians beg to differ."
- Ironic Times -

"China has stepped up its war against the internet and the dissemination of uncensored information - or as the totalitarian free trade government of the worlds most populous nation (or most populated slavery gulag) describes it, internet news sites must be directed toward serving the people and socialism and insist on correct guidance of public opinion for maintaining national and public interests, in other words serving the interests of a tyrannical clique of former communists (now practicing a mix of bastardized Marxism and global-corporatist capitalism) and severely punishing those who would criticize the monolithic Chinese state, a nightmarish behemoth that would inspire George Orwell, if he was alive, to rewrite considerable chunks of his seminal novel, 1984. China has a dedicated band of cyber police who patrol the Internet with the aim of regulating content. Postings that criticize the government or address sensitive topics are quickly removed, and no doubt Chinese posters of such criticism are hauled off to torture dungeons and ultimately reduced to cosmetics for narcissistic western women desperately in search of collagen."
- Hillary's Brave New World of Internet Censorship - 

"There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth. We are all crew."
- Marshall McLuhan -

"It's working out very well for them."
- Barbara Bush -

Everything Else

The objective of Find the Brownie is to list important government jobs occupied by a person with no apparent qualifications other than strong personal, political, or business ties to a member of the administration. Check it out and find what government job you're just as qualified for as the person Bush nominated.

At Googleearthzoo, some people with a LOT of time on their hands have found dozens of hidden animals in Google's satellite photographs.

Either Donald Rumsfeld admitted that a missile hit one of the world trade center buildings or whoever transcribed this interview has got some explaining to do.

Before buying anything electronic, check out Don't Buy Junk.

Magnum In Motion blends powerful Magnum photography with audio commentary, text and graphics to create an immersive, engaging multimedia experience. Photographer commentary guides the viewer through the photo essay, while text and graphics provide additional information and enrich the viewing experience. 

Snopes has gotten on the case of unsubstantiated rumors about Katrina, so before you repeat any of them, as I have, be sure to read this, this, this, and this.

Just in case Blockbuster or NetFlix doesn't have it, go here and buy Les Blank's Always For Pleasure, but only if you want to see "an intense insider's portrait of New Orleans' street celebrations and unique cultural gumbo: Second-line parades, Mardi Gras, Jazz Fest. Features live music from Professor Longhair, the Wild Tchoupitoulas, the Neville Brothers and more. This glorious, soul-satisfying film is among Blank's special masterworks."

Or just go to Aurgasm and listen to LOTS of free MP3s of New Orleans music.

Surely you've got something better to do than see every single SNL Jeopardy sketch.

I actually got a paying gig so next week's issue might be late too. So sue me.