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 There is
surely a name for the psychological condition whereupon somebody who
saw themselves portrayed by a certain actor finds themselves seeing a
bit of themselves in each subsequent role played by that same actor,
but I don't know what it is. Having sat through All the
President's Men, Bob Woodward must occasionally see
the Sundance Kid when he looks in the mirror. I imagine Richard Nixon
seeing the Oliver Stone film about himself, finding himself identifying
with the actor playing him, even seeing Anthony Hopkins every once in a
while in the mirror, then watching Silence of the Lambs
and going what the fuck? Nixon would forever find himself identifying
with Hannibal Lector, which would explain Vietnam.
Lately I
find it less and less possible to view anything without finding things
in it that reflect actual occurrences in my life. Drug problems? Yep.
Parenting problems? You betcha. Legal problems? Been there. Love
problems? Done that. Kidnapping, betrayal, and death; Pets, perversion,
and politics; Good deals, bad deals, and no deals; A voyage of
discovery into an unknown land, an unlikely opportunity for heroics,
and too many opportunities squandered; TV and film, books and music,
photos and art. Sometimes
it seems like everything out there is somehow about me, but Star
Trek Enterprise in particular. There's no way I can't
identify with the Captain. It's me. The last time I saw him he was
doing what I did, fighting for custody of his son.
Scott Bakula
played me in a cheesy CBS MOW called The
Bachelor's Baby, so I find myself with the mystery
syndrome, having absolutely no choice but to see myself in Captain
Archer of the USS Enterprise. But I'm getting ahead of myself (and
either way I come in first).
In the midst of avoiding UPN, I
inadvertently found myself avoiding Star Trek Enterprise.
Now that my local library has all four seasons on DVD I've got no
excuse. I'm drowning myself in the future, following the hapless
adventures of the very first human spaceship with a warp five drive,
pre-prime directive (which states that there be no interference with
the natural development of any primitive society), bopping across the
universe, finding alien problems that all mysteriously mirror some
current earth problem.
As a fully trained and qualified
pontificating film
critic of professional stature, here's where I'm supposed
to compose the penultimate guide to each and every episode of Star
Trek Enterprise, but fuck that. Too much work unless
someone's paying me, and I've only finished viewing the first two
seasons. There are several guides here.
I will say this...
I'm glad to
know there is a sect called "Vulcans without Logic" and hope someday to
see them play football against the "Klingons without Anger Management
Issues."
Turning Spock into a babe who
occasionally takes off her clothes was a VERY good idea.
My favorite opening is in season one,
episode four. Archer's taking a shower, giving everyone a fabulous
glimpse of my manly physique, when the gravity drive shuts off. Archer
finds himself in zero gravity, nakedly floating up from the shower
stall while millions of glistening CGI goblets of water disperse about
the bathroom. Yeah, I've felt like that.
I'd be
derelict not to mention the theme song
which sticks its fingers down your throat and dares you to
vomit. The visuals behind the opening credits give a nice graphic
history of flight, but they're accompanied by a hellish mirror of that
terrible Aerosmith song in Armaggedon. It's the
worst song I've ever heard. Composer Diane Warren needs her soul washed
out with industrial strength schlock remover. Her song leaves a bad
taste that lingers far past the credit sequence, permeating the show
with a hideous stink. Luckily I only had to endure it once, during the
pilot. Now I'm glad I didn't have to watch the show live when I
couldn't have fast-forwarded past the steaming heap that opens every
show.
They
had some strange problems to solve in this prequel to the rest of the Star
Trek series. It takes place before the tacky 60s show with
its outdated technology. Among other things, modern cell phones are
much higher tech than the original "communicators" used by Kirk and
Spock, so they had to come up with strange hybrids, halfway between the
60s and the future, plausible explanations for why some
technology got mysteriously dumbed down in 2200.
I'm pleased to report that Star Trek Enterprise continues to ask interesting questions, like is it possible to simply observe a situation without inadvertently affecting it and inevitably participating. Bakula plays a young man doing a job for which there is no particular role model. This is before the Shatner version. He's the very first commander of a starship with a simple mission, to explore new worlds, make first contact. To not only go but go boldly. Where? Where no one's gone before, obviously. Sometimes it seems like his mission is to boldly go where every previous Star Trek has gone before. Star Trek Enterprise boldly adheres to the theory that the universe is large and you never know what you're going to run into. Captain Archer handles all situations so adroitly you can't help but wonder what he'd do if his starship came across a planet exactly like our own, with megalomaniac rulers playing a real-life game of Command and Conquer, a privileged few with everything, a massive population with nothing. Who would he stop to help? Surely he'd beam the Palestinians to their own private asteroid to call home. Maybe he'd spread some of that solar power around so everyone wouldn't use so much fossil fuel. We know he'd look with disdain upon any people attacking any other people, or alien species pitiful enough to try to get his weaponry to use against another alien species. He's loaded with weaponry but he's not a weapons salesman, which says something nice but probably wrong about the future. The real first human starship captain will probably have a display case of discount weapons of mass destruction, handy for dispatching Klingons and Vulcans alike with a delicate dose of CGI. I'm very glad they allowed Captain Archer
the one thing denied all other Captains of the Enterprise, character
growth. Kirk and Picard remained pretty much the same people in every
episode, but Archer is a very different person after season one. It
would have been perfectly sensible to describe the hapless and
sometimes goofy Archer of season one as a lightweight, enjoying himself
just a little bit too much, but there was a plan. In the last episode
of the season, he accidentally kills 30,000 people and ends up brooding
in his cabin for an unhealthy amount of time. By the opening episode of
season two, he finds he wasn't really to blame for the deaths, but he's
a changed man, more cautious, more seasoned, more thoughtful, the
playfulness offset by a healthy dose of gravitas. More than any other
Captains of the Enterprise, he's a genuinely interesting character.
Thanks to Captain Archer and the marvel
of his casting, now I'm Captain Dare of the Starship
Disinfotainment, boldly writing what's never been written
before, exploring new methods of syntax, making friends with alien
images and translating them into English for the betterment of mankind,
putting a face on the race of human being for the aliens who sit in
judgment of our species. There are worse people than Captain
Archer to identify with.
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My website Emulsional Problems was chosen as the
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Posted November 27, 2006 Unemployee of the Year
 Something to Think About
If elephants had evolved as the dominant
intelligent species on earth, the hit film of the summer would have
been "Mice on a Plane."
Cheeseballs of
the Week
"For
nearly 10 years, Lizz Gunnufsen e-mailed a Massachusetts-based software
company asking about the domain name on its intranet, chesapeake.com. Gunnufsen, a coordinator in Chesapeake's
public communications department, reminded the company every six months
that the city was interested in the site. She had no money to offer,
just good will from The City that Cares. 'I didn't really ever think we would get
it,' she said.
"Besides, the city didn't need the name.
For the past six years, it has promoted cityofchesapeake.net as its
primary site. It also maintains www.chesapeake.va.us.
But some city employees wondered why Chesapeake didn't own the name
that seemed a natural fit: chesapeake.com.
"Then Gunnufsen's work paid off. Big time.
In fall 2005,
the company, Aspen Technology, decided it no longer needed the site and
gave the domain name to the city for nothing.
"However, this summer, Chesapeake Energy
Corp., a natural gas company, approached the city with an offer for the
newly acquired domain. Negotiations ensued, and on Tuesday, the City
Council voted to sell the name for $120,000 to Chesapeake Energy Corp."
- Mike Gruss: Chesapeake
sells chesapeake.com name for $120,000 -
Sophistimicated
Doowacky of the Week
Do
you sometimes want to save the videos you see at YouTube or Ifilm, or
simply want to download them at your leisure, only to be frustrated by
sites that prevent you from seeing the films any way but their way? KeepVid offers
a solution. Simply paste in the address of a page with a video and
KeepVid allows you to download it as an "flv" file. Simply get yourself
a free program that plays FLVs and voila, you're on your way to a video
collection on your own hard drive that you can watch any time.
Drowning in BBs
Check out this short
video from Ben Cohen about the US nuclear arsenal.
Your Answers to the
Last Stupid Question of the Week
The GOP could have stolen the entire
election with their e-voting machines. They didn't. That can only mean
what?
Stupid Question of the Week
So what is the name for the
psychological condition whereupon somebody who saw themselves portrayed
by a certain actor finds themselves seeing a bit of themselves in each
subsequent role played by that same actor?
Christmas Gift from Hell
 Surely
someone you know deserves a unicorn turd.
Satan Doesn't Want You
To Know
"'What foods have added mercury in them? None. But seafood has it
naturally.' That brought a lot of letters saying I'm wrong about that,
that mercury in seafood is quite obviously the result of burning coal
in power plants. That mercury in fish is 'natural' is something I've
read many times over the years, and a quick Google search brought me
several references. Examples include this from Science Daily: 'People
have assumed that the high mercury in fish must be from pollution,'
says Francois Morel, Ph.D., a professor of geochemistry at Princeton
University and an author of the study. 'We have about tripled the
mercury in the atmosphere, and therefore it should be tripled in the
ocean, right? But maybe mercury that occurs in fish is a natural thing,
and it may have been there all along.'
"Another example, from the University of California at Davis: 'The
mercury in [tunas' and swordfishes' systems] must come from natural
sources. For years, we have probably eaten tuna and swordfish with
mercury levels above FDA's limit without harmful effects. Analysis of
museum specimens of tuna caught from 1879 to 1909 reveal that they
contain levels of mercury as high as those in fish being caught today.
Scientists therefore conclude that mercury levels in tuna, and probably
swordfish, have not changed in the past 100 years.'"
- Science
Daily and Seafood
-
Don't Take My Word For
It
"In other
words I am three. One man stands forever in the middle, unconcerned,
unmoved, watching, waiting to be allowed to express what he sees to the
other two. The second man is like a frightened animal that attacks for
fear of being attacked. Then there's an over-loving gentle person who
lets people into the uttermost sacred temple of his being and he'll
take insults and be trusting and sign contracts without reading them
and get talked down to working cheap or for nothing, and when he
realizes what's been done to him he feels like killing and destroying
everything around him including himself for being so stupid, but he
can't, he goes back inside himself.
"Which one is real?
"They're all real. The man who watches and
waits, the man who attacks because he's afraid, and the man
who wants to trust love but retreats each time he finds himself
betrayed. Mingus one, two, and three. Which is the image you want the
world to see?"
- Charlie Mingus' Autobiography: Beneath
the Underdog -
"A hero ventures forth from the world of
common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are
there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back
from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons upon his
fellow man."
- Joseph Campbell: the standard path of
the mythological adventure of the hero, from The Hero with a
Thousand Faces -
"Tomorrow
[November 27th, 2006] marks the day that we will have been in Iraq
longer than we were in all of World War II.
"That's
right. We were able to defeat all of Nazi Germany, Mussolini, and the
entire Japanese empire in LESS time than it's taken the world's only
superpower to secure the road from the airport to downtown Baghdad.
"And we
haven't even done THAT. After 1,347 days, in the same time it took us
to took us to sweep across North Africa, storm the beaches of Italy,
conquer the South Pacific, and liberate all of Western Europe, we
cannot, after over 3 and 1/2 years, even take over a single highway and
protect ourselves from a homemade device of two tin cans placed in a
pothole. No wonder the cab fare from the airport into Baghdad is now
running around $35,000 for the 25-minute ride. And that doesn't even
include a friggin' helmet.
"Is this
utter failure the fault of our troops? Hardly. That's because no amount
of troops or choppers or democracy shot out of the barrel of a gun is
ever going to 'win' the war in Iraq. It is a lost war, lost because it
never had a right to be won, lost because it was started by men who
have never been to war, men who hide behind others sent to fight and
die."
- Michael Moore: Cut and Run, the Only
Brave Thing to Do -
"Many orthodox people speak as though it
were the business of skeptics to disprove received dogmas rather than
of dogmatists to prove them. This is, of course, a mistake. If I were
to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot
revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to
disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is
too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes. But if I
were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it
is intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I
should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense."
- Bertrand Russell -
"Morality, like art,
means drawing a line someplace."
- Oscar Wilde - "The Church of England has broken with
tradition dogma by calling for doctors to be allowed to let sick
newborn babies die.
"Christians have long argued that life
should preserved at all costs - but a bishop representing the national
church has now sparked controversy by arguing that there are occasions
when it is compassionate to leave a severely disabled child to
die.
"And the Bishop of Southwark, Tom Butler,
who is the vice chair of the Church of England's Mission and Public
Affairs Council, has also argued that the high financial cost of
keeping desperately ill babies alive should be a factor in life or
death decisions."
"Resting
on a hospital bed beneath a tie-dyed wall hanging, Pamela Sakuda felt a
tingling sensation. Then bright colors started shimmering in her head.
"She had been depressed since being
diagnosed with colon cancer two years earlier, but as the experimental
drug took hold, she felt the sadness sweep away from her, leaving in
its wake an overpowering sense of connection to loved ones, followed by
an inner calm.
"'It was like an epiphany,' said Sakuda,
59, recalling the 2005 drug treatment.
"Sakuda, a Long Beach software developer,
was under the influence of the hallucinogen psilocybin, which she took
during a UCLA study exploring the therapeutic effects of the active
compound in 'magic' mushrooms. Although illegal for general use, the
drug has been approved for medical experiments such as this one.
"Scientists suspect the hallucinogen,
whose use dates back to ancient Mexico, may have properties that could
improve treatments for some psychological conditions and forms of
physical pain.
"Long dismissed as medically useless, the
banned mushrooms a staple of the psychedelic 1960s are taking a long,
strange trip back to the lab.
"The medical journal Neurology in June
reported on more than 20 cases in which mushroom ingestion prevented or
stopped cluster headaches, a rare neurological disorder, more reliably
than prescription pharmaceuticals.
"In July, researchers at Johns Hopkins
University in Baltimore reported that mushrooms could instill a sense
of spirituality and connection, a finding that scientists said could
lead to treatments for patients suffering from mental anguish or
addiction.
"The research has been driven in part by
the success of mood-altering pharmaceuticals, such as the
antidepressant Prozac, which work on the same brain chemicals and
pathways."
- Denise Gellene: Mushrooms
take a trip back to the lab -
"It is, of
course, taboo to criticize a persons religious beliefs. The problem,
however, is that much of what people believe in the name of religion is
intrinsically divisive, unreasonable, and incompatible with genuine
morality. The truth is that the only rational basis for morality is a
concern for the happiness and suffering of other conscious beings. This
emphasis on the happiness and suffering of others explains why we don't
have moral obligations toward rocks. It also explains why (generally
speaking) people deserve greater moral concern than animals, and why
certain animals concern us more than others. If we show more
sensitivity to the experience of chimpanzees than to the experience of
crickets, we do so because there is a relationship between the size and
complexity of a creature's brain and its experience of the world.
"Unfortunately, religion tends to separate
questions of morality from the living reality of human and animal
suffering. Consequently, religious people often devote immense energy
to so-called 'moral questions' - such as gay marriage - where no real
suffering is at issue, and they will inflict terrible suffering in the
service of their religious beliefs.
"Consider the suffering of the millions of
unfortunate people who happen to live in sub-Saharan Africa. The wars
in this part of the world are interminable. AIDS is epidemic there,
killing around 3 million people each year. It is almost impossible to
exaggerate how bad your luck is if you are born today in a country like
Sudan. The question is, how does religion affect this problem?
"Many pious Christians go to countries
like Sudan to help alleviate human suffering, and such behavior is
regularly put forward as a defense of Christianity. But in this case,
religion gives people bad reasons for acting morally, where good
reasons are actually available. We don't have to believe that a deity
wrote one of our books, or that Jesus was born of a virgin, to be moved
to help people in need. In those same desperate places, one finds
secular volunteers working with organizations like Doctors Without
Borders and helping people for secular reasons. Helping people purely
out of concern for their happiness and suffering seems rather more
noble than helping them because you think the Creator of the universe
wants you to do it, will reward you for doing it, or will punish you
for not doing it."
- Sam Harris: Do
We Really Need Bad Reasons To Be Good? -
"Parents
were invented to make children happy by giving them something to
ignore."
-
Ogden Nash -
"I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level." -
Dana Carvey -
"There are few
things funnier than watching a TV news reporter interviewing a
prostitute with an air of moral superiority."
- The Quotalizer
-
"Sex offenders
are not petty criminals. They prey on our children like animals and
will continue to do it unless stopped. We have a moral responsibility
to do everything in our power to protect our kids from these animals."
- Rep. Mark
Foley -
"American
exceptionalism is the overripe idea that we can do to others that which
would be unacceptable if done to us using the rationale that we're more
moral than other nations and our motives are always pure. This
self-righteous balderdash is the underpinning of Bush's diplomatic
efforts with the world, and that's why they are doomed to fail."
- Arris Jaye -
"For the past
three and a half years I have watched in horror the mirror image of
another Vietnam unfolding in Iraq. As of this writing over 2,700
Americans have died and nearly 20,000 have been wounded while tens of
thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians, many of them women and children,
have been killed. Refusing to learn from the lessons of Vietnam, our
government continues to pursue a policy of deception, distortion,
manipulation and denial, doing everything it can to hide from the
American people its true intentions in Iraq. Sadly, the 'War on Terror'
has become a war of terror. Never before has this government through
its outrageous provocations and violent aggressions placed the citizens
of this country in such grave danger. Never have the people of this
country been so threatened, never before has life and liberty been in
such great peril; not in the two hundred and thirty years since our
revolution have we as a people and a nation been at such a crucial
turning point."
- Ron
Kovic: Breaking
the Silence of the Night -
"My friends,
have you noticed that the hours of daylight have gotten shorter every
day since the Democrats were voted a majority in Congress? Mark my
words: before January of 2007 we'll experience one of the shortest days
of the year! It's God's judgment on America for embracing the liberal
Democrat homosexual baby-killing agenda!"
- P. R. -
"A
first-ever museum display, 'Against Nature?,' which opened last month
at the University of Oslo's Natural History Museum in Norway, presents
51 species of animals exhibiting homosexuality.
"'Homosexuality has been observed in more than 1,500 species, and the
phenomenon has been well described for 500 of them,' said Petter
Bockman, project coordinator of the exhibition.
"The idea, however, is rarely discussed in
the scientific community and is often dismissed as unnatural because it
doesn't appear to benefit the larger cause of species
continuation.
"'I think to some extent people don't
think it's important because we went through all this time period in
sociobiology where everything had to be tied to reproduction and
reproductive success,' said Linda Wolfe, who heads the Department of
Anthropology at East Carolina University. 'If it doesn't have
[something to do] with reproduction it's not important.'
"However, species continuation may not
always be the ultimate goal, as many animals, including humans, engage
in sexual activities more than is necessary for reproduction.
"'You can make up all kinds of stories:
Oh it's for dominance, it's for this, it's for that, but when it comes
down to the bottom I think it's just for sexual pleasure,' Wolfe told
LiveScience."
- Sara Goudarzi: Homosexual
Animals Out of the Closet -
"Take the utmost trouble to find the
right thing to say, and then say it with the utmost levity."
- George Bernard Shaw -
"It is not worth
an intelligent man's time to be in the majority. By definition, there
are already enough people to do that."
- G. H. Hardy -
"It is difficult to produce a television documentary
that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is
interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper."
- Rod Serling - "Frisbeetarianism
is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets
stuck."
-
George Carlin -
"The most radical revolutionary will
become a conservative the day after the revolution."
- Hannah Arendt - "A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices." - William James - "The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it." - Terry Pratchett - "We
should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action
always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action."
- Frank Tibolt - "Professor
Toynbee uses the terms 'detachment' and 'transfiguration' to describe
the crisis by which the higher spiritual dimension is attained that
makes possible the resumption of the work of creation. The first step,
detachment or withdrawal, consists in a radical transfer of emphasis
from the external to the internal world, macro- to microcosm, a retreat
from the desperations of the waste land to the peace of the everlasting
realm that is within. But this realm, as we know from psychoanalysis,
is precisely the infantile unconscious. It is the realm that we enter
in sleep. We carry it within ourselves forever. All the ogres and
secret helpers of our nursery are there, all the magic of childhood.
And more important, all the life-potentialities that we never managed
to bring to adult realization, those other portions of ourself, are
there; for such golden seeds do not die. If only a portion of that lost
totality could be dredged up into the light of day, we should
experience a marvelous expansion of our powers, a vivid renewal of
life. We should tower in stature. Moreover, if we could dredge up
something forgotten not only by ourselves but by our whole generation
of our entire civilization, we should become indeed the boon-bringer,
the culture hero of the day - a personage of not only local but world
historical moment. In a word, the first work of the hero is to retreat
from the world scene of secondary effects to those causal zones of the
psyche where the difficulties really reside, and there to clarify the
difficulties, eradicate them in his own case (i.e. give battle to the
nursery demons of his local culture) and break through to the
undistorted, direct experience and assimilation of what C. G. Jung has
called 'the archetypal images.' This is the process known to Hindu and
Buddhist philosophy as viveka, 'discrimination.'"
-
Joseph Campbell: The Hero with a Thousand Faces -
"We
need a president who's fluent in at least one language."
-
Buck Henry -
"No."
- Amy Carter (President Jimmy Carter's daughter) when asked by a reporter if she had any message for the children of America - "Against
logic there is no armor like ignorance."
- Laurence J. Peter - "In
the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and
often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly
knows which of those is the more annoying."
-
Bertrand Russell -
"Acceptance
without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western religion,
rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western
science."
- Gary Zukav: The Dancing Wu Li Masters - "I
like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
- Noel Coward - "There is no fire like greed and no crime
like hatred. There is no sorrow like being bound to this world; there
is no happiness like freedom."
- Dhammapada - |
|
The Best of Disinfotainment Today - 2005 A Year of Journalism with the Crap Removed  |
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Iraq Body
Count
Contact George W. Bush
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact
the Freemasons
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact
Skull and Bones
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact
the Carlyle Group
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact
the Illuminati
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact
Satan - satan@whitehouse.gov
Contact
both houses of
Congress - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact
the Supreme Court
- president@whitehouse.gov
Contact
Dick Cheney -
vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact
Halliburton -
vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact
Bechtel -
vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact
Saddam Hussein
- tightywhities@whitehouse.gov
Contact
Osama bin Laden
-
deepthroat@whitehouse.gov
Contact
Jeb Bush - jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact
Fidel Castro
- jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact
Kim Jong Il -
eng-info@kcna.co.jp
Contact
Jacques Chirac
- france-presse@un.int
Contact
the new Pope
- accreditamenti@pressva.va
Contact
the old Pope
- thirdlevel@hellfireanddamnation.com
Contact
God - president@whitehouse.gov
Am I supposed to believe
you don't drink coffee?
You
need a Disinfotainment
Today mug.
Boo
hoo
My
life's a fucking wreck.
Please
donate
to the cause.
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HARARE, Zimbabwe (04-04) After 20 mental patients disappeared from his bus, a driver replaced them with sane citizens and delivered them to a mental hospital. The unidentified bus driver was transporting 20 mental patients from the capital city of Harare to Bulawayo Mental Hospital when he decided to stop for a few drinks at an illegal roadside liquor store. Upon his return he was shocked to discovered that all the mental patients had escaped. Desperate for a solution, the driver stopped at the next bus stop and offered free bus rides to several people. He then delivered them to the mental hospital, informing the staff they were easily excitable. It took the medical personnel three days to uncover the foul play. The real mental patients are still at large.< | |