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Posted February 19, 2007  I had a Steinway Grand upright piano, a marvel of
instrumentality, better than playing an actual grand, where strings are parallel
to the ground. Once the top of a grand piano is opened, the sound all goes
off to the player's right. This is better for the audience but worse for the
player. With my Steinway, the strings were perpendicular to the ground, so if
you took the front panels off, which I did, the sound all went directly to the
pianist. It was like playing piano IN a piano, and anyone else around who wanted
the full impact of each note had to stand behind or sit on the bench right next
to the player. Any musician who ever entered my house was drawn to it
immediately.
John Belushi brought Van Dyke Parks over and I'll
have to stop right there. You know who John Belushi is and how he got to my
house, but Van Dyke Parks, wow, Van Dyke was a hero, scorer of films
(The Two Jakes and Popeye), Brian Wilson's writing partner
(Heroes and Villains), musician extraordinaire (That's him playing
cello on Good Vibrations), one of the founders of Warner Brothers
Records, produced Ry Cooder and Randy Newman's first albums, but most
importantly, his own Song Cycle, a
major masterpiece, the most expensive album ever made at the time, giving new
meaning to the words eclectic, dynamic, double entendre, and overproduced,
a full orchestra and more, a new sound every second, among the best lyrics ever
written, as some anonymous writer says at Wikipedia, "a head trip
of orchestral textures and traditional Americana-meets-psychedelic pop song
structures."
Song Cycle came out in 1968 and
unfortunately there was no lyric sheet or internet to look them up in, so I
sat at my typewriter and transcribed the whole album, I don't even have to look
at it to quote whole passages: "I (I echo) came (came) west (west)
unto Hollywood, never-neverland juxtaposed to BBD&O beyond San Fernando on
hillside manors (manners?) on the banks of toxicity, those below and those above
the same. Dreams (dreams) are (are) still (still) born in Hollywood. I
don't understand, just suppose the youngster knows he's had it good, fear and
fortune and up through the babble on the fair banks complicity, by your leave or
stay beyond the game. Head your head to the ground round." When I told him what
I had done, he told me he'd lost his only copy and asked for mine. I gladly
complied which is why mine's missing. Only in typing his words, feeling them
flow from my fingers, did the depths of his imagination emerge. Did he say "by
Palm Desert springs often run dry" or "buy Palm Desert springs off and run
dry?"
His next two albums, Discover America and
Clang of the Yankee Reaper went off in whole other directions,
exploring calypso and other island music. His most famous compositions are
certainly on the Beach Boy's Smile, which has just been re-released
(for the first time - long story).
He got one look at the Steinway and asked if he
could give it a try. By all means. He immediately immersed himself into one of
the greatest performances it's ever been my honor to witness. Once he stopped, I
can't have said anything but "Oh my God, what was that?"
It was Souvenir of
Puerto Rico, one of the greatest solo piano compositions of all time, by
Louis Moreau Gottschalk. (MP3 of it here.)
Who?
And Van Dyke told me the whole story...
 Louis Moreau Gottschalk was the very first American
composer, unless you want to get technical about it. Benjamin Franklin composed a few ditties. You
must listen to Franklin's compositions but once to understand not only why
Franklin isn't known for them but why you'll never listen to them again. Why
Gottschalk isn't well known is something we must put a stop to right now. Considering the fact that the
composers he influenced, everyone from Aaron Copeland and Stephen Foster to
Scott Joplin and Randy Newman, are so well known, it's rather startling that
someone in the eminent position of "First American Composer" languishes in
obscurity. Maybe because he's Jewish? Maybe because his piano pieces are so
incredibly difficult to play?
He was born in New Orleans in 1829 to a
German Jewish sailor from London and a white Creole Haitian mother, and he
quickly grew from child prodigy to the most famous pianist in the New World.
After studying with Franz Liszt at the Paris Conservatoire, he spent much of his
time touring the world, including Cuba and Central and South America, where he
was incredibly influenced by the indigenous music. His compositions ended
up containing elements of Creole, African, minstrel, South American, Spanish,
Mexican mariachi, West Indian and Cuban melodies and rhythms. He returned to
America in the 1860s, and despite being born in the south, he supported the
Union during the Civil War. Gottschalk became the first Bob Hope, touring
battlegrounds during the war doing solo piano concerts for Union soldiers.
In 1865, he was forced to leave the United States
as the result of a scandalous affair with a student at the Oakland Female
Seminary. During a concert in Rio de Janeiro, he collapsed from a
burst appendix and died three weeks
later. His remains were returned to the United States and are presently
interred at the Green-Wood
Cemetery in Brooklyn, New York. His burial spot was originally marked by a
magnificent monument which has eroded considerably over the years, and the Green-Wood is
actively seeking donations to restore it.
Picture if you will a Civil War
battlefield, a horse-drawn cart pulls a grand piano into a gathering of
troops, and just before the soldiers march off to sacrifice their lives,
Gottschalk rolls up his sleeves and proceeds to play a magnificent piece of
music, and then please tell me why there's never been a movie or even a tacky
History Channel special about him.
I ran to a classical sheet music store, bought a
book of Gottschalk's piano pieces, and dived into Souvenir of Puerto
Rico. By the next time Van Dyke came over, I had the first two thirds down
and played it for him. A smile and a "you got it" was all I needed and all I
got. We became pals and I ended up shooting his wedding.
 Tony Martin Jr., Van Dyke Parks, Sally
Parks,
Harry Nilsson, Jack Nicholson,
plus two ladies and a
bishop.
I already gave you the MP3 so you've got no excuse
not to have listened to Souvenir of Puerto Rico by now (unless you've
got dial-up). Now what's your excuse for not learning how to play
it?
You are cordially invited to listen to the
following other pieces by Gottschalk, all magnificent, which were strangely hard
to find. These MP3s were found around the internet with no credit for the
performer. If it's you, please let me know.
Free Ad
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Hell
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market flooded, the US dollar could drop up to 40% in value. As the currency
falls, there would be a monetary evacuation by foreign investors abandoning the
US stock markets and dollar-denominated assets. Imported products would cost
Americans a lot more, and the trade deficit would be magnified."
- Amir Butler: The Euro And
The War On Iraq -
"Europe's dream of promoting the euro as a competitor to the
U.S. dollar may get a boost from Saddam Hussein. Iraq says that from now on, it
wants payments for its oil in euros, despite the fact that the battered European
currency unit, which use to be worth quite a bit more than $1, has dropped to
about 82 cents. Iraq says it will no longer accept dollars for oil because it
does not want to deal 'in currency of the enemy.'"
- William Dowell: Saddam Turns His Back on Greenbacks (Time
Magazine, November 13, 2000)
"What we do know is that the Quds force was
instrumental in providing these deadly IEDs to networks inside of Iraq. We know
that. And we also know that the Quds force is a part of the Iranian government.
That's a known."
- Dubya -
"We know exactly where Saddam is hiding his WMDs.
They're North, South and West of Tikrit. That's a known."
- Donald Rumsfeld -
"Tertiary neurosyphilis, is the most
interesting form of syphilis from a cultural point of view. Just before the
onset of paralysis, the sufferer is beset with delusions of grandeur, a sense of
understanding everything, a sense that he is on the verge of some monumental
discovery which will forever change the course of history, as well as a sense
that some divine electricity is coursing through his veins."
- MGibb -
Free Book of the Week,
albeit a PDF
Don't Take My Word For
It
"Clean the fountain of your soul until it becomes
perfectly pure.
Fix your eyes on your heart until your heart becomes an eye. Give up doubts and put the pitcher of your heart against that fountain. When that pitcher is filled with the water giving delight, Withdraw yourself and submit to its Owner His home. When you leave it, God doubtless comes to His home. Never let the devilrobber enter the home of your heart, For once it has entered it, it is very difficult to throw it out." - La Makani Husain Effendi (Quoted by Fethullah Gülen)
-
"One day it will have to be officially admitted
that what we have christened reality is an even greater illusion than the world
of dreams."
- Salvador Dali -
"The total of America's military bases in
other people's countries in 2005, according to official sources, was
737. Reflecting massive deployments to Iraq and the pursuit of
President Bush's strategy of preemptive war, the trend line for numbers
of overseas bases continues to go up.
"Interestingly enough, the thirty-eight large and medium-sized
American facilities spread around the globe in 2005 - mostly air and naval
bases for our bombers and fleets - almost exactly equals Britain's
thirty-six naval bases and army garrisons at its imperial zenith in 1898.
The Roman Empire at its height in 117 AD required thirty-seven major bases
to police its realm from Britannia to Egypt, from Hispania to
Armenia."
"I blame God for losing the war in Iraq. It's entirely his fault. If it
weren't for him, none of this would have happened. The civil war? God's fault.
The faulty intelligence? Obviously God's to blame. The hundreds of thousands of
dead and maimed? God's idea. He wanted it all to happen. If we can give him
thanks, we can give him blame too. What a guy."
- The Random Atheist -
"Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties,
nations and epochs, it is the rule."
- Friedrich Nietzsche -
"The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we
counted our spoons."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson -
"There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by
scorn."
- Albert Camus -
"All of the classic
anti-Semitic myths are being reinvented and re-deployed against
Muslims...
"The hatred of Jews first
turned into mass hysteria due to accusations of - believe it or not -
bioterrorism. When, in late medieval Europe, the Black Death began ravaging
populations, Jews were accused of causing the disease by poisoning wells.
Epidemics of anti-Semitic hysteria have been coming and going in waves ever
since...
"It is one thing to accuse a
religious minority of poisoning wells. It is quite another to poison them
yourself, and then blame the religious minority. That is what has been going on
for decades, as false-flag terrorist incidents are staged - with Muslims serving
as patsies and scapegoats.
"The process began with the
demonization of Arabs. Palestinian and Arab resistance to the Zionist settler
colony in Palestine - every bit as natural, inevitable and morally justified as
Algerian resistance against French settlers and Kenyan and Rhodesian resistance
against British settlers - has been demonized in the Western media with the help
of false-flag attacks like the one against the Achille Lauro.
"Former Mossad agent Ari
Ben-Moshe has revealed that the Achille Lauro hijacking, and the emblematic
murder of American Jew Leon Klingoffer, was a Mossad operation designed to make
Palestinians look violent and bloodthirsty.
"Ben Moshe reveals that the
Mossad unit responsible for the Achille Lauro affair specialized in such
false-flag attacks, and was extremely successful in its 'anti-terror' mission.
One wonders how many other incidents of 'Arab terrorism' were directed by this
unit."
- Kevin Barrett: False-Flag "Islamic Terror": The New Blood Libel - "The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep, for
which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces
him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty. Plainly, the sheep and the
wolf are not agreed upon a definition of liberty."
- Abraham Lincoln -
"Zealotry of either kind - the puritan's need to
regiment others or the victim's passion for blaming everyone except himself -
tends to produce a depressing civic stupidity. Each trait has about it the
immobility of addiction. Victims become addicted to being victims: they derive
identity, innocence and a kind of devious power from sheer, defaulting
helplessness. On the other side, the candlesnuffers of behavioral and political
correctness enact their paradox, accomplishing intolerance in the name of
tolerance, regimentation in the name of betterment."
- Lance Morrow -
"One of the things that bothers me most is the
growing belief in the country that security is more important than freedom. It
ain't."
Lyn Nofziger, Press Secretary for President
Reagan -
"The things that will destroy America are
prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first,
the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life."
- Theodore Roosevelt -
"American military operations for a major
conventional war with Iran could be implemented any day. They extend far beyond
targeting suspect WMD facilities and will enable President Bush to destroy
Iran's military, political and economic infrastructure overnight using
conventional weapons."
- Dan Plesch: American preparations for invading Iran are
complete -
"Under 'CONPLAN 8022' (Contingency Plan 8022), the
Omaha-based command center is now commissioned to strike anywhere in the world
within minutes of detecting a target deemed a threat to the United States'
national security. And the projected attack against Iran - which could well
include nuclear as well as conventional weapons - will be planned, launched and
coordinated by StratCom."
- Tim Rinne: StratCom and the Plan To Attack Iran -
"How many legs does a dog have if you
call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a
leg."
- Abraham Lincoln -
"Al-Qaida is alive
and well and thriving thanks in part to the Internet, terrorism experts told a
House Armed Services subcommittee Wednesday.
"A panel of experts
painted a picture of an Islamic terrorist organization far different from the
one President Bush portrays: that 'al-Qaida is on the run.'
"On the contrary,
said Bruce Hoffman, a professor at Georgetown University, 'al-Qaida is on the
march.'
"The organization
has regrouped from the setbacks it suffered when U.S. military forces drove it
out of Afghanistan.
"Hoffman credits
al-Qaida with some degree of involvement in attacks that were planned and
prevented in August 2006 to blow up 10 airliners flying from Britain to the
U.S., in the 2005 subway and bus bombings in London, and 2004 attacks that were
foiled in London, New York, Newark, N.J., and Washington.
"Hoffman warned that
Bush's strategy of surging an additional 21,500 troops to Iraq to try to quell
the rising sectarian violence there is exactly what al-Qaida
wants."
- William Matthews: War helping al-Qaida regroup, Congress told -
"Wisdom is what's left after we've run
out of personal opinions."
- Cullen Hightower -
"I am determined that my children shall
be brought up in their father's religion, if they can find out what it
is."
- Charles Lamb -
"Saddam Hussein's rushed execution looks even
more suspicious now that the trial of his co-defendants has resumed with
prosecutors playing an incriminating tape recording of the dead Iraqi dictator
discussing chemical weapons but now without any possibility of him fingering
U.S. officials and others who may have helped him get the
poisons.
"President George W.
Bush and his supporters are sure to cite the tape recording as further evidence
of Hussein's guilt and thus vindication of Bush's decision to press ahead with
Hussein's controversial hanging on Dec. 30.
"But the troubling reality virtually ignored in the major U.S.
news media is that Bush also silenced a particularly dangerous witness who could
have implicated prominent U.S. officials from both his fathers and his own
administrations.
"The hasty execution prevented the Iraqi judges from turning
to Hussein after the tape was played on Jan. 8 to question him about its
authenticity and its context. Another obvious follow-up would have been how had
Hussein obtained the dangerous chemicals that he allegedly deployed to kill tens
of thousands of Iraqi Kurds.
"In that sense, Hussein's silence was golden for the
international arms dealers who supplied his regime and for government officials
who facilitated the shipments.
"Former President George H.W. Bush, former Defense Secretary
Donald Rumsfeld and current Defense Secretary Robert Gates were among those who
could breathe a little easier after the hangman's noose had choked the life out
of Hussein."
- Robert Parry: Saddam's Well-Timed
Execution -
"Last year researchers at the University of Chicago
took the Prius down a peg when they turned their attention to another gas
guzzling consumer purchase. They noted that feeding animals for meat, dairy,
and egg production requires growing some ten times as much crops as we'd need if
we just ate pasta primavera, faux chicken nuggets, and other plant foods. On top
of that, we have to transport the animals to slaughterhouses, slaughter them,
refrigerate their carcasses, and distribute their flesh all across the country.
Producing a calorie of meat protein means burning more than ten times as much
fossil fuels--and spewing more than ten times as much heat-trapping carbon
dioxide--as does a calorie of plant protein. The researchers found that, when
it's all added up, the average American does more to reduce global warming
emissions by going vegetarian than by switching to a Prius."
- Kathy
Freston: Vegetarian
is the New Prius -
"The US military has appealed to the
producers of 24 to tone down the torture scenes because of the impact
they are having both on troops in the field and America's reputation abroad.
Forget about Abu Ghraib, forget about Guantanamo Bay, forget even that the White
House has authorised interrogation techniques that some classify as torture,
that damned Jack Bauer is giving us a bad name."
- Andrew Buncombe: US Military Tells Jack
Bauer: Cut Out the Torture Scenes ... or Else! -
"Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto
you. Their tastes may not be the same."
- George Bernard Shaw: Man and
Superman -
"However improbable the origin
of life might be, we know it happened on Earth because we are here. Again, as
with temperature, there are two hypotheses to explain what happened - the design
hypothesis and the scientific or 'anthropic' hypothesis. The design
approach postulates a God who wrought a deliberate miracle, struck the
prebiotic soup with divine fire and launched DNA, or something equivalent, on
its momentous career."
"Again, as with goldilocks, the
anthropic alternative to the design hypothesis is statistical. Scientists invoke
the magic of large numbers. It has been estimated that there are between 1
billion and 30 billion planets in our galaxy, and about 100 billion galaxies in
the universe. Knocking a few noughts off for reasons of ordinary prudence, a
billion billion is a conservative estimate of the number of available planets in
the universe. Now, suppose the origin of life, the spontaneous arising of
something equivalent to DAN, really was a quite staggeringly improbable event.
Suppose it was so improbable as to occur on only one in a billion planets. A
grant-giving body would laugh at any chemist who admitted that the chance of his
proposed research succeeding was only one in a hundred. But here we are talking
about odds of one in a billion. And yet... even with such absurdly long odds,
life will still have arisen on a billion planets - of which earth, of course, is
one."
- Richard
Dawkins: The God Delusion -
"God and country are an unbeatable team; they
break all records for oppression and bloodshed."
- Luis Buñuel -
"Under any
circumstances, the Bush administration's sudden, explicitly political dismissal
and replacement of United States attorneys in judicial districts across the
country would be very troubling - both as a violation of American law
enforcement traditions and as a triumph of patronage overcompetence.
But as the story behind these strange decisions
unfolds, a familiar theme is emerging. Again, the White House and the Justice
Department have been exposed in a secretive attempt to expand executive power
for partisan purposes. And again, their scheming is tainted with a nasty whiff
of authoritarianism. There is much more at stake
here than a handful of federal jobs...
"To ensure that no
U.S. attorney could be fired on a whim and replaced with a malleable hack, the
relevant statute required that whenever a vacancy occurred in midterm, the
replacement would be appointed by federal circuit judges rather than by the
president. Getting rid of irksomely honest and nonpartisan prosecutors was
difficult if not impossible.
"But that wholesome safeguard was breached in
December 2005, when the Senate renewed the Patriot Act. At the behest of the
Justice Department, an aide to Sen. Arlen Specter slipped a provision into the
bill that permitted the White House to place its own appointees in vacant U.S.
attorney positions permanently and without Senate confirmation. So silently was
this sleight of hand performed that Specter himself now claims, many months
later, to have been completely unaware of the amendment's passage. (Of course,
it would be nice if the senators actually read the legislation before they
voted, particularly when they claim to be the authors.)"
- Joe Conason: Alberto
Gonzalez's coup d'etat - The
Constitution be damned, the attorney general has seized control of U.S. attorney
appointments for partisan purposes. -
"Anna Nicole Smith's condition downgraded to
dead."
- fark.com - "Summary: On January 17, InsightMag.com posted a
story stating that Sen. Barack Obama attended a madrassa as a boy and that this
information had originated from Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's camp. With the aid
of the conservative media, InsightMag.com's anonymously sourced report turned
into 11 days of baseless accusations against two leading contenders for the 2008
Democratic presidential nomination."
"The individual is handicapped by coming face to
face with a conspiracy so monstrous he cannot believe it exists."
- J. Edgar Hoover - "Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for
it."
- Woody Allen -
"Ali Shalah, popularly known as
'the man in the hood' in a famous photograph depicting the torture suffered by
Iraqis at the American-run Abu Ghraib prison in Baghdad, today spilled the beans
on the inhumane treatment he received at the detention centre.
"Ali, who now heads an organisation representing
tortured victims in Iraq, captivated some 2,000 people with his story at the
three-day War Crimes Conference at the Putra World Trade Centre, organised by
the Perdana Global Peace Organisation headed by former Prime Minister Tun Dr
Mahathir Mohamad.
"'My nightmare began on 13th October, 2003, when I was
arrested and put in a small room, which I later found out to be a toilet, which
was flooded with water and human waste. I was interrogated in that
room.'"...
"On the 15th day of detention, Ali was given a blanket,
in which he made a hole and used it to cover himself.
"Soon after this, the former lecturer said he was
forcefully placed on top of a carton box containing canned food, had wires
connected to his fingers and ordered to stretch his hand out horizontally, and
the electricity was switched on.
"'As the electric current entered my whole body, I felt
as if my eyes were being forced out and sparks were flying out. My teeth were
clattering violently and my legs shaking violently as well. My whole body was
shaking. I was electrocuted on three separate sessions,' he said to pin-drop
silence in the hall.
"Throughout the torture, he said the interrogators would
take photographs of him.
"He said he was then left alone in the cell for 49 days,
and during this period the torture stopped.
"'At the end of the 49th day, I was transferred back to
the tents and after 45 days at the tents, I was informed by a prisoner that he
overheard some guards saying that I was wrongly arrested and that I would be
released.
"'I was released in the beginning of March, 2004. I was
put into a truck and taken to a highway and then thrown out. A passing car
stopped and took me home,' he ended his tale."
- 'Man In The Hood' Tells Of His Tale In Abu Ghraib - "Start every day with a smile and get it over
with."
- WC Fields -
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
- Milton Berle -
- Wernher von Braun
-
Satan Doesn't Want You to
Know
The 13th Amendment
didn't abolish slavery, it legalized it: "Neither slavery nor involuntary
servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been
duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to
their jurisdiction."
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The Best of Disinfotainment Today - 2006 A Year of Journalism with the Crap Removed  Or The Best of Disinfotainment Today - 2005, you slowpoke. |
My website Emulsional Problems was chosen as the
 Cost of the War in Iraq (JavaScript
Error)
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Who am I?
and so is Issue #206.
Random
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Iraq Body
Count
Contact George W. Bush - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Freemasons - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Skull and Bones - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Carlyle Group - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Illuminati - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact
Satan - mailto:president@whitehouse.gov
Contact both houses of Congress -
president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Supreme Court - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Dick Cheney - mailto:mvice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Halliburton - vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Bechtel - vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Saddam Hussein - tightywhities@whitehouse.gov
Contact Osama bin Laden - mailto:thetwins@whitehouse.gov
Contact Jeb Bush - jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact Fidel Castro - jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact Kim Jong Il - eng-info@kcna.co.jp
Contact Jacques Chirac - france-presse@un.int
Contact the new Pope - accreditamenti@pressva.va
Contact the old Pope - mailto:%20thirdlevel@hellfireanddamnation.com
Contact God - president@whitehouse.gov
Am I supposed to believe you don't drink coffee?
You
need a Disinfotainment
Today mug.
Boo
hoo
My
life's a fucking wreck.
Please donate
to the cause.
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HARARE, Zimbabwe (04-04) After 20 mental patients disappeared from his bus, a driver replaced them with sane citizens and delivered them to a mental hospital. The unidentified bus driver was transporting 20 mental patients from the capital city of Harare to Bulawayo Mental Hospital when he decided to stop for a few drinks at an illegal roadside liquor store. Upon his return he was shocked to discovered that all the mental patients had escaped. Desperate for a solution, the driver stopped at the next bus stop and offered free bus rides to several people. He then delivered them to the mental hospital, informing the staff they were easily excitable. It took the medical personnel three days to uncover the foul play. The real mental patients are still at large. |
Chapter 1
The Inmates It was a good night to be insane. Pitch black, rain pouring heavily, lightning striking again and again, perfect for lighting up the old wooden sign outside the crumbling gray stone walls of "The Gainesville Asylum for the Insane," with the word "insane" crossed off in crayon and the words "mentally handicapped" scrawled nearby, and the words "mentally handicapped" crossed off in chalk with the words "perfectly normal" scribbled next to them. There must have been an insane cackle breaking the momentum of the storm as lightning struck again and again, barely illuminating a skeleton key opening an old lock on a dirty door, heavy with age, squeaking open with a rusty creak. Another insane cackle. Yep, the insane like nights like this. It takes them outside themselves, forcing them to ponder the outside world as it really is, a random series of powerful illuminations, rather than the inside world, which varies splendidly in the sparkling synapses of the cerebral cortex of each individual, sane or not. |
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The Critics Agree
Looks like it might be “REALLY GOOD” - Publisher’s Discount Outlet Not quite as “HILARIOUS” as I thought it was going to be - New York Times Falls far short of “THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL” - Joyce Carol Oates Tries very hard to be “THE FUNNIEST BOOK YOU’LL EVER READ” - Norman Mailer “I WISH I’D THOUGHT OF IT” because if it had been written by me it would have been much better - Dave Barry When I stopped reading and turned on The Family Guy, “I COULDN’T STOP LAUGHING” - Carl Hiaasen Almost achieves something “INCREDIBLY GREAT” but falls far short - The Village Voice The author obviously thinks he’s a “GENIUS” - Psychiatry Today If you want something “ENORMOUSLY ENTERTAINING” look elsewhere - Books in Print “INSPIRED” me to write a better book - P.J. O’Roarke It starts out fairly RATIONAL, but about halfway through you're bound to tell yourself "this is NUTS." A second later, you will nod as another voice in your head says "PRECISELY." - Sigmund Freud $20 for the quality paperback from Cafepress. $10 for a PDF file directly to your mailbox, preferably with Paypal, or write me and tell me why you think you deserve a free copy. "Art is like a border of flowers along the course of civilization." - Lincolm Steffens - "Artists lie to tell the truth. Politicians lie to hide it." - V for Vendetta - |
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The Management Disavows This Acknowledgment (and the last one too)
Disinfotainment
Today is apparently for free and seems to appear weekly. Go
ahead, reproduce it, I dare you. Go ye forth and cut and paste
and see where it gets you. Disinfotainment Today consists of
information from oodles of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and trod
upon, just like my life, just like yours, just like America. Everything
is everywhere, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice,
unless you like it, in which case good for me. If you see something
that you feel should be attributed to you, or if you think I actually
OWE you anything, please accept the fact that much of
everything that everybody does is unacknowledgeable, and if everyone
had to seek permission from all their influences, artistic progress
would grind to a standstill. Legally, it's either
satire or fair use, but should you be
thinking of suing me over something, you should know it wasn't
me, it was someone else, unless you're Salvador Dali, in which case go
ahead, prove it.
Thanks,
Thanks,
Yuri Tarded
Your
Very Special Piece of ASCII Art for Making it to the Bottom of the Page
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