

Those lobbying against Mr. Colbert included Don Fowler, the former chairman of the Democratic National Committee and the husband of Carol Fowler, the current chairwoman of the state party.Mr. Fowler distributed a letter to council members saying that Mr. Colbert "seeks to make a travesty of our primary." In his letter, he raised the specter of the 2000 presidential campaign, saying that if Ralph Nader had not drained votes from Al Gore, Mr. Gore could have been president.







|
Kucinich's
Resolution Timetable
by David Swanson
Eighty-six
Congress Members showed a level of support for impeachment today by
voting against tabling Congressman Kucinich's resolution. That
indicates the strength of constituent pressure in opposition to the
leadership's position. The resolution is back in the same committee but
with more momentum now. The media is more aware. The public is more
aware. Congressman Kucinich is fired up and ready to introduce new
resolutions on both Cheney and Bush. Congress heard from the public in
massive numbers - the phones on the hill were jammed. And the public is
energized. The intense lobbying that a day like this one inspires may
combine with the polling results to begin to open the Democratic
leadership's eyes to the electoral danger of not backing impeachment. I
think we should urge all the talk shows to give the Republicans the
impeachment debate they wanted.
4:41
The motion to send it to the Judiciary Committee passed with only about
5 Dems voting No and 3 Republicans voting Yes.
Presumably
the 86 Dems who voted No on tabling believed that to be enough to
appease their constituents, while 5 Dems actually had integrity enough
to put the Constitution ahead of Pelosi and Hoyer. There was no
discussion of a time limit for the Judiciary Committee to report back
(even though there are precedents for insisting on one with impeachment
resolutions). This bill has, of course, ALREADY been in the Judiciary
Committee for months, and that committee has done nothing with it.
You'd
think if offense (rather than defense) ever entered Pelosi and Hoyer's
heads, they'd want to put an hour of Cheney-bashing debate on TV. But
they want at all costs to avoid impeachment, and you can't debate the
substance of the charges against Cheney without making an obvious case
for impeachment.
Roll
call. These 5
Dems voted right: Filner, Kaptur, Kucinich, Waters, Towns.
4:19
p.m. There is now a 5-min vote underway on whether to refer to the
House Judiciary Committee.
4:18
p.m. The procedural vote passed just barely (218-194). Of the
218, 3 were Republicans.
Roll
call. These 5
Dems voted right: Filner, Kaptur, Kucinich, Waters, Watson.
4:14
p.m. The motion to table having failed, Hoyer moved to refer the
resolution to the House Judiciary Committee. Kucinich tried
to avoid that and get a vote on the resolution, but - unable to do that
- asked for a vote on the decision to refer to committee. Hoyer
withdrew his motion and then unwithdrew his motion. Boehner asked for
40 minutes of debate. Serrano as chair seemed clueless for a while, and
then ordered a procedural vote on whether to vote on sending to
committee. If this new 15-min vote passes, then they will vote on
whether to send to committee.
4:02
p.m. Over an hour into this 15 min vote, 78 Dems are voting Nay on
tabling, joined by 164 Republicans in an apparent stunt to surprise the
Dems and bring the issue to the floor -- which the
Republicans will regret if the Democrats actually debate it and debate
it well (admittedly a remote possibility). They will say over and over
and over that this has divided the Democrats. Not outside the Beltway
it hasn't. Over 3/4 of Dems want Cheney impeached.
Currently
142 Dems to table, 78 not to [or was it 84??], 13 not voting; 28 Repubs
to table, 164 not to, and 9 not voting. Most of the Republicans
switched their votes, and for some reason the leadership kept the vote
open for over an hour, allowing them to do so. No doubt the Republicans
want to get the Dem leaders on tape on the floor defending Cheney
against impeachment. But how smart is it of them to allow the topic to
gain attention? The evidence, after all, is overwhelming that Cheney
has committed impeachable offenses.
Roll
call. It turns
out 86 Democrats voted the right way:
Abercrombie,
Allen, Baca, Baldwin, Braley (IA), Capps, Capuano, Clarke, Clay,
Cleaver, Cohen, Conyers, Crowley, Cummings, Davis (IL), DeFazio, Dicks,
Doggett, Doyle, Ellison, Farr, Filner, Green, Al; Green, Gene;
Grijalva, Gutierrez, Hare, Hinchey, Hirono, Hodes, Holt, Honda, Hooley,
Inslee, Jackson (IL), Jackson-Lee (TX), Johnson (GA), Jones (OH),
Kanjorski, Kaptur, Kilpatrick, Kucinich, Lee, Lewis (GA), Loebsack,
Maloney (NY), McCollum (MN), McDermott, Meeks (NY), Michaud, Miller
(NC), Moore (WI), Moran (VA), Napolitano, Ortiz, Pallone, Pascrell,
Perlmutter, Price (NC), Rangel, Richardson, Roybal-Allard, Rush,
Schakowsky, Scott (VA), Serrano, Shea-Porter, Sherman, Slaughter,
Solis, Stark, Stupak, Sutton, Thompson (CA), Tierney, Towns,
Velázquez, Waters, Watson, Watt, Weiner, Welch (VT), Wexler,
Woolsey, Wu, Wynn
There's
a lot of overlap between the above list and the list
of cosponsors
in 2005 of H Res 635. These are congress members with medium grade
willingness to put their constituents ahead of Pelosi and Hoyer.
As
Linda Boyd points out, several members of the Judiciary Committee who
are not cosponsors of H Res 333 voted against tabling: Conyers, Scott,
Watt, Wexler, Gutierrez, Sherman, Weiner, Davis.
And
65 Democrats who are not cosponsors of H Res 333 voted against tabling:
Abercrombie, Allen, Baca, Braley, Capps, Capuano, CONYERS, Crowley,
Cummings, DeFazio, Dicks, Doggett, Doyle, Al Green, Gene, Grijalva,
Gutierrez, Hare, Hinchey, Hirono, Hodes, Holt, Honda, Hooley, Inslee,
Jackson (IL), Jones (OH), Kanjorski, Kapptur, Lewis (GA), Loebsack,
Maloney, mcCollum, Meeks, Michaud, Miller (NC), Moore (WI), Napolitano,
Ortiz, Pallone, Pascrell, Perlmutter, Price, Rangel, RICHARDSON,
Roybal-Allard, Rush, Scott, Serrano, Shea-Porter, Sherman, Slaughter,
Solis, Stark, Stupak, Sutton, thompson, Tierney, Towns, Valazquez,
Watt, Weiner, Welch, Wexler, Wu.
2:54
p.m. Hoyer moves to table.
Kucinich asks for Yays and Nays. 15 minute recorded vote begins. C-Span quotes sentence from Tribune with lie about impeachment dividing the Dems' base. C-Span brings on Sabrina Eaton from the Plain Dealer to talk some more trash. Reprinted
with permission from afterdowningstreet.org.
|
Media Bias
and Ron Paul
by R.S. Janes
MSNBC reported on
Nov. 6, 2007, that Ron Paul raised $4.2 million in a one day, breaking
the single-day fundraising record of any Republican presidential
candidate, including Ronald Reagan. This hardly makes Paul a candidate
who can be easily dismissed by the Big Media, yet the attempts to do so
have been as obvious as they are rancorous. Here is a brief sketch of
just such an attempt by NBC cable outlet CNBC:
As small potatoes as this is, it reflects the larger corporate media bias against any candidate they haven't anointed as acceptable. Whatever flaws Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) may have, he is the only GOP candidate for president who embodies classic Goldwater libertarian conservativism, as opposed to the other Republican candidates who are all committed, in varying degrees, to the prevailing Bush neoconservative 'Unitary Executive' ideology. Paul is sadly unique in this group in that he actually cites the US Constitution the other Republican candidates routinely ignore, especially in the area of making war and defending individual civil liberties. As a commenter at Common Dreams [1] recently noted, a President Ron Paul would end three of our most needless and wasteful wars, that being the wars on Iraq, Afghanistan and Drugs, and honor his oath of office to protect and uphold the rights of the individual against the excesses of a bloated and intrusive government, as required by the Constitution. Even though I'm cognizant of the many issues
on which Paul and I disagree -- abortion rights and
universal health care being just two -- and I'm not likely to
vote for him in the general election, I think it's appalling
that he has been discounted and all but ignored by the Big Media while
I encounter people regularly who agree wholeheartedly with
his brand of classic conservatism.
Following the recent Republican debate on
economic policy in Dearborn, Michigan, CNBC ran a flash poll
where Ron Paul was named the winner with 75 percent of the
vote. As CNBC Managing Editor Allan Wastler wrote in his
patronizing "An Open Letter to the Ron Paul Faithful," the poll was
taken down because Wastler hadn't "seen him pull those kind
of numbers in any 'legit' poll. Our poll was either hacked or
the target of a campaign. So we took the poll down."
Just a brief note about those 'legit' polls:
Most of them are phone polls and their methods haven't
changed since the 1950s; they depend for accuracy upon
receiving a good representative cross-section of respondents
who will answer the caller's questions honestly.
In the '50s, in a more 'innocent'
technological era, most people in this country had one
land-line phone in the house, answered their calls, and were
happy to give their opinions to Gallup or Harris. Today, however,
the world has changed: many Americans, especially younger
voters, have cell phones that are unreachable by pollsters;
most have voice mail, and many screen their calls; moreover,
21st century Americans are much less likely to answer
questions over the phone than were their parents and
grandparents. Fifty years ago it might have been considered somewhat
rude not to respond; today, that's not the case.
And herein lies the dirty little secret of
the current polling industry, and why today's 'legit' polls
are a less than reliable gauge of what Americans are thinking
and for whom they plan to vote: The people answering the
pollsters these days tend to be older, retired, white, and
more conservative than the majority. They are willing to hang on the
phone and answer questions, which means they aren't very
busy, contrary to the way most Americans live today, and they
are inclined to pick a 'name brand' they recognize -- why do
you think Clinton and Giuliani are doing as well as they are
in the current polls? Those responding to pollsters in this
frenetic age also tend to be less well-educated than average
and, frankly, dumber, particularly when it comes to the web
and email. (Their profound ignorance in this area rivals
managing editors at certain cable news channels.)
Meanwhile, as did Howard Dean in 2004, Ron
Paul is exploding all over the Internet, collecting nearly as
much money from his website as Mitt Romney is from
conventional contributors, and attracting people who buy and
use the latest technology and are beyond the reach of the
phone pollsters. The Paul supporters are generally smart,
well-educated people with higher than average incomes in the
18-34 age group most coveted by advertisers. It isn't the old
land-line fogies who are purchasing the latest wireless
laptops, iPhones, DVDs, and video game systems -- those crustaceans
are still trying to figure out how to set the clock on their
VCR.
In his letter, Wastler fumed, "Some of you
Ron Paul fans take issue with my decision to take the poll
down. Fine. When a well-organized and committed 'few' can
throw the results of a system meant to reflect the sentiments
of 'the many,' I get a little worried. I'd take it down again."
Paul got 7,000 votes in a small-bore poll --
that's a 'few'? Why couldn't his better-funded competitors
for the GOP nomination with much larger national
organizations come up with more votes to counter Paul's
'few,' and why has Wastler appointed himself as protector of
the interests of the leading candidates according to the
results of the flawed 'legit' polls?
Does this mean that any of these
'unscientific' instant polls the media are addicted to
running can be edited to reflect what a managing editor
thinks they should say? That's hardly being fair to the viewer or
the stated reason for conducting the poll. Wastler compares
his CNBC poll to a roomful of people being asked for a show
of hands, "In the end, they are really just a way to engage
the reader and take a quick temperature reading of your
audience. Nothing more and nothing less. The cyber equivalent
of asking the room for a show of hands on a certain question."
Paul's supporters raised their cyber hands
and the backers of the other candidates did not, but Wastler
had to step out of the room to consult other polls and then
decided not to allow their hands to be counted. Apparently it
never occurred to Wastler that this might be a indication of
the lethargy of the public for the top of the GOP field, or that more
Paul supporters happened to watch the debate than supporters
of the other candidates.
Whatever Wastler's motives or politics, by
removing the poll entirely he invites suspicion -- why didn't
he simply post his concerns but leave the results of the poll
up?
If you feel motivated by this blatant, albeit
relatively petty, example of censorship, email Allen Wastler,
Managing Editor, CNBC.com, at politicalcapital@cnbc.com
to object. Also send a CC to Wastler's boss, CNBC President
Mark Hoffman to mark.hoffman@cnbc.com
and info@cnbc.com.
Read the complete text of Wastler's letter
here: http://www.cnbc.com/id/21257762
|

When I was in Iraq last month, I came up with this brilliant
idea for determining a barometer of just how stable the situation in
Iraq is by checking out how many people actually felt safe and
comfortable enough to attempt to go on Hajj this
year. 
|
The Ten Cowboy Commandments
by Gene Autry
Commandment 1 He must not
take unfair advantage of an enemy.
Commandment 2 He
must never go back on his word.
Commandment
3
He
must always tell the truth.
Commandment 4 He
must always be gentle with children, elderly people
and animals.
Commandment 5 He
must not possess racially or religious intolerant ideas.
Commandment 6 He
must help people in distress.
Commandment 7 He
must be a good worker.
Commandment 8 He
must respect women, parents, and his nation's laws.
Commandment 9 He
must neither drink nor smoke.
Commandment 10 He
must be a patriot.
|

RM: Father Christopher is such an unlikely charismatic character. His
story has many ambiguous layers, full of irony on many levels. He's a
good front man for that story. As I watched the film I was struck but
how many layers and nuances he gave you.BH: He is a complicated person, rich and sophisticated on one level, complicated.
RM: How long did it take you to woo him to this project?
BH: Well, he committed to the project quickly. He had decided that getting international media engaged with this story was the only way. Having crossed that Rubicon before I actually got there, he was as much trying to convince us to spend the time there as we were. He didn't necessarily expect the story to have the locus centered on him.
RM: It was clear in the film that you took an unexpected journey. The most interesting documentaries are the ones that kind of jump the track. What did you think the story was going to be?
BH- You know I thought that it would be a portrait of a priest and his parish. At a time when all the stories about priests are so negative, it would offer something slightly different. There were clearly these potential class issues. He's from one class; his parishioners are really from a very different place. This was all taking place so close to the resorts that are swollen with American tourists and European tourists In a way it's just reminder that the billionaire and the people who clean his lawn are a hairsbreadth away. The serendipity was that the Dominican Republic is where slavery was introduced to this hemisphere five hundred years ago, and also where Christianity was introduced to this hemisphere.
RM: I didn't realize that slavery first came to the Dominican Republic.
BH: They started mining for a couple of years, but it was largely about sugar.
RM: You said Christianity was first introduced...
BH: With Columbus. The first cathedral was in Santo Domingo. The first mass was said in Santo Domingo.
RM: Did it take you very long to get him to agree to give you his personal background?
BH- No, I think that he was very straightforward with me very quickly, maybe in part because he's been in this world for seven years and he experienced so much, that to have somebody going through it was almost a form of therapy for him, an unburdening.
RM: What did you leave out of the film?
BH: The short answer is a heck of a lot. We filmed two hundred hours and the film's 90 minutes long. I guess it was hard to put as much in about the way he tried to provide for his parishioner needs, his struggle to build feeding centers and old folks homes and medical clinics, to just to provide for their physical needs, and their psychological needs. The film became more about his struggle for their basic rights as opposed to his efforts on their needs.
RM: But we were left with the impression that he's the only person providing for any of these basic needs. Does he ever get a break from there?
BH: He's been thrown out of the country.
RM: Since this? Where is he now?
BH: He's in Ethiopia.
RM: Doing a similar thing?
BH: The more he faces the powers, the more likely it is he's thrown out.
RM: So your film was kind of the tipping point?
BH: You know they're not telling me what's happening in the secret chambers down there, but that's his sense… the media attention and his relentless call for justice was not something that …
RM: Is anybody picking up his work, keeping it going?
BH: He's trying to keep it going. I think that the nexus of challenge is now shifting to the United States. I don't know enough about that. He's on satellite phone, I'm making another film, and it's been hard for us to really talk too much. We're supposed to meet in Washington next month so I'll catch up.
RM: You know, when I met with the wealthy plantation owners, it was an astonishing couple of days, cause I kept expecting to hear the other side of the story, you know " here's the extenuated circumstances, here's why..." At least a fig leaf, I expected a fig leaf. They didn't see the Haitians, as being fully human. It's if they had rattraps out to catch rats and I came to them and said you can't treat the poor rats like this. They're trapped. They're in agony. You've got to do something. Maybe you can build a feeding center for the rats. And they would look at you. Excuse me?
RM: Deeply entrenched feudalism.
BH: Indeed…deeply entrenched feudalism. One of the accusations they leveled at him was he's a rabble-rouser, looking for tension. That it's all megalomaniacal instinct on behalf of this glory-seeking priest. Ok, I met with the people in Rome. I met with Cardinal Ratzinger, who's the keeper of the faith and became the Pope. He knew Father Christopher from the seminary, and I went to Toledo where he was in seminary and New York. I went to all these places, and I couldn't find any signs of him ever having any hint of political activism before. He'd been a hospice worker for Mother Teresa. I think that he found himself in a world where he'd either have to abandon his values or risk his life.
Preview for The Price of Sugar
|
Good News
"The Iraq war has
been an amazing success. There were WMD, and they were shipped to
Syria... This picture of a country in total chaos with no security is
false. It has been a triumph. It couldn't have gone better."
- Norman Podhoretz,
former editor of Commentary, quoted in The
New Republic -
"Whichever
candidate or party lands in the White House, this much
is certain: Inauguration Day 2009 is at the very least
Armageddon for the reigning ayatollahs of the American right."- Frank Rich: Rudy, the Values Slayer - "New
Orleans flood deaths: 1,577. California celebrity fire deaths:
5."
- Greg Palast: Burn, Baby, Burn - The California Celebrity Fires - |
Bad News
"I was fired for
telling my students that there's no such thing as
talking snakes."
- Steve Bitterman, an Iowa community college teacher who was dismissed for informing his class that the Bible's Adam and Eve tale was not literally true. -
"Attention parents and teachers! The food police have added whole and
two-percent milk to the list of 'poor nutritional quality' beverages in
their crosshairs, recommending that they be removed from American's
schools. This and other ridiculous assertions are contained in a report
being circulated by the self-described 'food police' at the Center for
Science in the Public Interest (CSPI). The draft report, rumored to be
released this month, bears the name of CSPI's activist coalition, the
National Alliance for Nutrition and Activity (NANA). NANA is part of an
anti-soda crusade which advocates taxing sodas and restricting their
availability in order to eliminate fizzy drinks from the diets of both
children and adults.
"'Anyone who would
suggest that milk is unhealthy for kids is out to lunch,' said Richard
Berman, executive director of the Center for Consumer Freedom. 'CSPI
once boasted that it was proud about finding something wrong with
practically everything.' Now it's proven it."
"Using Census
figures, [Thomas] Geoghegan (author of The Secret Lives
of Citizens) discovers that the 11 percent of
Americans living in the least populated states have enough
Senate votes - 41 - to sustain a filibuster. Yes, 89 percent
of the population may support a policy, but 11 percent of the
population has the senators to block that policy's
enactment. When you go further than Geoghegan and consider the
election-focused mindset of politicians, you see the situation
is even more absurd. 'Lawmakers trying to keep their jobs only
need support from a majority of those who turn out to vote. In
those 21 least populated states with filibuster power, that
majority is typically about 7 million voters, based on turnout
data. That's just 3 percent of America's total
voting-age population wielding enough Senate representation to
stop almost anything.'"
- David Sirota: Tyranny Of The Tiny Minority - "Much of this political chaos [in the US] derives from the manner in which the Senate is constituted, with equal representation among all the states. This has resulted, in fact, in severely unequal consequences. The bottom 25 states in population have 50 members in the Senate, while the top four states, with a combined population that exceeds that of the bottom 25, have 8 members. Inevitably, the selection process for president became, over time, yet another device whereby the smaller states can have an impact inordinate to their size relative to the larger states, and, therefore, to the nation at large." - John Pierre Ameer: 1860, 1932, 2008 - "You know the script: Giuliani rescued New York City from its spiral into ungovernable criminality, and then became the hero of 9/11. He says he 'saved New York' by introducing the famous policy of Zero Tolerance: crack down on any sign of social disorder, no matter how small, with the full force of the law. There's only one problem. It's not true. The fall in crime that Giuliani brags about began three years before he became mayor. On the atch of his black predecessor, David Dinkins, murder fell by 13.7 per cent, and car theft by 23.8 per cent. Giuliani inherited these trends. They had a complex range of causes, none of which were primarily his responsibility: the global economic boom, the fall in unemployment, the improvement in the police computers available. "Nor
is zero tolerance the reason why the fall continued: criminal
violence fell even more dramatically in cities that adopted
smarter, 'softer' policies. For example, San Francisco chose
to lavish cash not on chasing petty crime but on programmes to
divert juvenile delinquents into job training, drug treatment
and counselling. The result? Their crime rate fell by 33 per
cent, compared to 26 per cent in NYC during the same period."
- Johann Hari: President Giuliani? He'd be worse than Bush - "Who can be demonized next? Who must the conservatives hate to make themselves feel better and reaffirm their superior status?
"Illegal immigrants, that's who. They are 'degrading the environment.'
They are corrupting our economy! (In my mind, at least, they
may be the only ones holding it up). They're brown-skinned!
They don't speak English! They may get sick and use our
hospitals! They have too many babies! Oh my God! Hate! Hate!
Hate!" ...
"Whether we quote the Lord as he spoke to Moses, 'Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself,' or the Beatles - 'All you need is love' - if America doesn't soon find its heart and extend its hand, the world will demonize us and we will be doomed." - Joyce Marcel: Demonize This!
-
"Throughout the twentieth century and into the beginning of the twenty-first, the United States repeatedly used its military power, and that of its clandestine services, to overthrow governments that refused to protect American interests. Each time, it cloaked its intervention in the rhetoric of national security and liberation. In most cases, however, it acted mainly for economic reasons - specifically to establish, promote and defend the right of Americans to do business around the world without interference." - Stephen Kinzer - "Here are a few profiles in courage for you. On the nomination of Michael Mukasey to be Attorney General of the United States: Sen.
Hillary Clinton, D-NY: did not vote. Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill: did not
vote. Sen. Christopher Dodd, D-Conn: did not vote. Sen. Joseph Biden,
D-RI: did not vote. There you have it. The only four Democratic
senators who did not vote on the nomination of Mukasey and the
legitimization of torture and presidential tyranny it represents were
the four Democratic senators seeking the presidency. Draw your own
conclusions on the implications of these absences, and what they
portend for the possibilities of genuine reform should any of these
worthy paladins win the White House."
- Chris Floyd: Noises Off: Democratic
Candidates are No-Shows for Mukasey Vote -
"They're still
buying up the houses above $15 million [here in the Hamptons area of
New York], but there aren't thousands of those coming in... The common
man, the man who can only afford a house under $5 million, isn't really
buying."
- Steven Gaines
quoted in The New York Observer -
|


|
Outside the Box
![]() My Country Awake by Rabindranath Tagore Where the mind is without fear and the head held high; Where knowledge is free; Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls; Where words come out from the depth of truth; Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection; Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit; Where the mind is led forward by Thee into ever-widening thought and action; Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake. |

My son
recently declared himself to be a vegetarian.
As if it wasn’t difficult
enough to cook for a
family of four, each of whom has completely different opinions as to
the definition of “icky.”
The main reason my son has decided to be
a
vegetarian is spite. He’s sixteen and that is the
main
motivation for just about everything he does. I’m
afraid he
was so traumatized by the Adkins Diet craze that had restaurants
serving beef jerky instead of rolls; he rebelled in the extreme and
decided he would eat nothing else but carbs.
I can understand his refusal to eat
beef. The
daily news constantly reports stories of cow attacks for which humor
writers everywhere are most grateful. Cattle are angry,
bitter
and depressed and have decided, it seems, that mooing aggressively is
not enough of a statement.
Last month in England, “a
police inspector
walking his dog through a field suffered life-threatening injuries
after he was trampled by a herd of cows.” The law
enforcement officer was quoted as saying, “I had never heard
of
killer cows before but I hope this is a warning to everyone.”
Well, one would think so but one would
be wrong.
The BBC News reported that two heifers
had escaped
from a Darlington cattle market. Police marksmen, as of
November
8, had shot one of the cows but the second one remained on the loose.
I’m sure that after reading
that news story, you had the same question I did.
Marksmen?
Really?
Do you truly need the skill of a sniper
to shoot a
cow? I would think with a target that size and the average
land
speed of cattle; it would be a pretty easy task. But the
police
described the roaming cow as “extremely dangerous”
and
warned commuters and shoppers to be “on their
guard.”
I think being on guard for a dangerous
cow should be a law or at least, printed on a t-shirt.
Another cow who took exception to being
at a
livestock auction in New York fought back against a man with an
accurately-placed head butt. After knocking him to the
ground,
“the cow then started attacking him. Workers at the
auction
pulled the cow away and started performing CPR,” upon the
victim,
I assume, but with it being New York, maybe “performing
CPR” refers to an interpretive dance.
In Wyoming last year, “an
escaped cow sent a
police officer to the hospital and badly damaged a squad
car.” It was said the officer’s
bulletproof vest
saved him from more serious injuries.
So, does being on guard while wearing a
Kevlar vest enough to keep you safe from menacing moo-moos?
Hardly.
In the state of Washington, a minivan
was struck by
an apparent suicidal cow. The cow fell or jumped from a cliff
200
feet above the vehicle and landed on the hood. Her score for
the
dive was a 9.8 and she was only downgraded for failing to wave to the
judges. With the bovines being so testy lately, I can
understand
my son’s desire to not antagonize them any further.
So what
does that leave?
Tofu.
Eager to support my son in his choice of
foods, I frantically searched the internet for tofu recipes.
I was amazed at the variety of ways you
can serve
tofu. You can stir-fry it. You can also stir-fry
it.
Oh, and for a change of pace, you can stir-fry it.
Honestly, it seems that most of the
recipes for tofu
involve a wok and soy sauce. Tofu is usually eaten with
chopsticks because even those who have deliberately chosen to eat it
don’t want to do so in any big hurry. It jiggles
like
opaque Jell-O and appears to be made out of old-fashioned school
paste. It tastes like paste, too, and no amount of soy sauce
or
ketchup will convince me otherwise.
That’s why my own personal
diet relies heavily on chocolate.
No one throws red paint on you if you
eat chocolate.
It does not taste like paste.
It makes me feel happy.
It’s even earth-friendly as
the journal
Biochemical Society Transaction reports some microbiologist researchers
at the University of Birmingham have discovered a way to produce
hydrogen by feeding waste products from a chocolate factory to
bacteria. I didn’t even know there was such a thing
as
chocolate-factory waste. You will certainly never see
chocolate
wasted in my own personal residence so I would have to find my hydrogen
elsewhere.
But best of all, it’s
impossible to stir-fry chocolate.




