WHO’S GOING TO HELL THIS WEEK? 

April 2, 2001

Yes, it's you again, dear reader. You're all numbers 1-10 this week. 

You're all going to hell because Mad Magazine is accepting advertising. This, plus the end of The Realist equals the death of advertisement-free media in the known world. From now on, every periodical writer on earth will have to take into account what the advertisers think. This is not a good thing. 

We've all heard of the brick wall between the advertising department of a paper and the editorial department. Yeah, right. One supports the other. It's more like a teepee. 

There once was a writer who wrote a good review of a film for a national magazine, and it somehow got back to her that the studio had just called to order thousands of dollars of advertising. She was the hero of the day. Similarly, when she wrote a negative review of a movie for a struggling paper that needed every penny, it somehow got back to her that the studio had just called to cancel thousands of dollars of advertising. 

Nobody ever lectured her about how to handle the situation. She was simply told the result of her actions and the fact was allowed to sit there. Who can say that that she wasn't affected by the immediate knowledge that her writing could have dire consequences for the publications she worked for. It was just another worry, another chunk of political shit to take into account when trying to write. Not healthy. Writing is freedom. Advertisers, God bless 'em, can take the fun out of it.

What did you pay for this paper? Nothing. How does it happen? Look around you. What do you see? Advertising. Advertising pays for the entire cost of printing and distributing not only this newspaper but almost every newspaper and magazine except for the ones that don't accept advertising. These publications are entirely supported through the purchases of a readership base, like Mad and The Realist. Sure, there's Consumer Reports, but its main concern isn't freedom of expression. There's The Utne Reader, but they only do reprints. Advertising can't be beat when you're looking for something to do or buy, but for writers who prefer the backing of a print readership, the field has drastically narrowed.

Most importantly, the death of Mad Magazine's "no advertising" policy means that you can no longer look at the phony ads in Mad and be absolutely sure they're phony. Maybe they're REAL ads meant to LOOK LIKE phony ads. Will the real ads have the word "advertisement" in clear bold letters, or will the satire all be labeled "satire?" And what about Marginal Marvin? Is he bought off too? Can tobacco companies buy marginal ads diguised as Marvin!? You're all going to hell. 

After all, what does advertising really give you other than the entire cost of publishing and distributing the publication? A bigger annual party? Fancier paper clips? You're Mad Magazine! Who needs 'em?

Advertising is the two-ton gorilla in the corner. You can't ignore it. There is only one way around it. Write under an assumed name.

Sincerely,

Helen A. Handbasket