"Out of these troubled times,
our fifth objective, a new world order, can emerge: a new era, freer from
the threat of terror, stronger in the pursuit of justice, and more secure
in the quest for peace."
- George Bush on 9/11/90 -
"It is strange the way the ignorant
and inexperienced so often and so unreservedly succeed when the informed
and experienced fail."
- Mark Twain -
"Behind every great fortune there is
a crime."
- Honore de Balzac -
"History teaches us that men and nations
behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives."
- Abba Eban -
"Palestinians say huge armored bulldozers
knocked down homes on top of people living in them, to widen narrow alleys
so tanks could pass."
- New York Times -
"What lies ahead of you and what lies
behind you is nothing compared to what lies within you"
- Mahatma Gandhi -
GRAPH FROM HELL
QUIZ FROM HELL
If the future of the planet depended
upon you putting yourself out of business, would you...
a) go out of business and save the
planet.
b) stay in business and fuck the planet.
HISTORY LESSON FROM HELL
Iran-Contra began when George Bush,
then US Vice President, sent a message to Saddam Hussein during the Iran-Iraq
war to start bombing Iran. The following weekend Saddam conducted over
300 bombing raids on Iran. Bush then offered Iran missiles to defend itself
from Iraq. The same tactic was used on Israel during the Gulf War when
Israel was offered Patriot Missiles by Bush to defend itself from Saddam.
The Patriot missiles had no effect. Saddam's Scuds got through and Cheney
later impugned Israel's integrity by falsely implying that Israel had supplied
Patriot missile technology to China.
CHILDREN'S
SONG FROM HELL
Forgive Me Father for You
Have Sinned
Forgive me Father for you have sinned
That is why I'm so chagrined
You acted holier than thou
All pompousy and piousy
While doing things so very bad
Inside of the Archdiocese
You left behind
a legacy of many human wrecks
We offered up
our innocence and got repaid with sex
Forgive me father for you have sinned
The answer is more than blowing in the
wind
I was praying on my knees
Like I'm supposed to do
If memory serves correctly
I was even blowing you
You left behind
a legacy of many human wrecks
We offered up
our innocence and got repaid with sex
Forgive me Father for you have sinned
Especially on the day you had me pinned
Now I'm schizophrenic
I want to wring your neck
I know I will go to hell
while you just go to heck
You left behind
a legacy of many human wrecks
We offered up
our innocence and got repaid with sex
SITES FROM HELL
You are hereby ordered
to view Larry Hankin's hilarious new film, The
Last Tape, featuring Osama bin Ladin's tour of his cave.
Gee, did you know that
nearly 100 U.S. Special Forces personnel were killed and about 200 injured
and four Apache helicopter gunships were destroyed in the offensive at
Paktia province in eastern Afghanistan? Not according to U.S. media, who
I guess expected us to read about it in the Hindustan
Times.
Where are Dick Cheney,
Donald Rumsfeld, Alan Greenspan, Henry Kissinger, and Satan right now?
At a meeting of the Tri-Lateral
Commission where they're discussing your future and you're not invited.
It's always interesting
to read pre-9/11 articles about the mid-east, particularly The
Road to Mecca via Washington from the Jerusalem Post.
Were the WTC and the
Murrah Bldg. bombings both CIA stings gone bad? Read compelling evidence
in The Covert
Cowboys.
Some wars are lawful,
some aren't. Want to be able to tell the difference? Go to the War
and Law League.
What's the difference
between George W. Bush and the universe? The universe is intelligent.
Oi vey, read Israel's
version of the Six
Day War.
Two
Palestinian girls who starred in an Oscar-nominated documentary have
been unable to travel home after attending the Academy Awards ceremony
in March because their home near Bethlehem is under siege from the Israeli
army.
Check out the actual
arrest
warrant for John Walker Lindh.
Dick Cheney explains
why
we didn't take out Saddam Hussein during the Gulf War.
And you call yourself
a conspiracy buff? Then why haven't you been to The
Assassination Web?
Do we have Bush-appointed
foreign agents influencing our foreign policy? Read about Taiwan-Gate.
Who learned everything
from his daddy? Here's the whole story of Iran-Contra.
Also Untangling the
Octopus.
Don't wanna fight for
capitalism? Go ahead, fight for communism.
Bush's new
welfare plan supports "family values" by forcing working mothers to
spend more time away from home.
Free Press or Washington
propaganda machine? Norman Solomon exposes corporate media's willingness
to put a White House spin on news content.
Where are you going to
be on July 19-21? Want to meet Satan? He'll be attending the Glastonbury
Symposium, the world's leading conference on crop circles.
Got something to confess
but scared to go to a priest because you look like a little boy? Why not
go to Daily Confession?
Rule #1: If you're a
crook being chased by the cops, don't leave a trail
of donuts.
And now it's time to
play Find the Apricot.
Wanna buy a ticket to
a concert? Go to ticketmaster.com, not ticketmasters.com or it'll cost
you an extra
$700.
You haven't been to space
once and this bastard gets to go seven
times.
Okay, one of the coolest
visual effects I've ever seen. You've got to check this
out.
One quick way to go to
hell would be to try ordering something from the 1971
Sears Catalogue.
PUZZLE FROM HELL
