Memo #2
2/14/03

Fellow human shields,

Beans don't have all the amino acids to make a complete protein. Rice doesn't have all the amino acids to make a complete protein. But together, their amino acids compliment each other, adding up to a complete source of valuable protein.

The San Fernando Valley Weekly is going to be the mound of rice added to the hill of beans supplied by the rest of the media, adding up to a complete source of valuable journalism.

We have found an office at Cahuenga and Ventura which I'll be visiting next week, so we're one giant step forward.

Allow me to introduce yourselves to each other.

Billy Hayes will be doing a column called "Inside/Outside" which will feature profiles of two people, one in prison who should be out, another out of prison who should be in. Billy's last editor made him do five years of research in a Turkish prison before he wrote Midnight Express. I'm going to take it a little easier on him. 

Paul Krassner edited Lenny Bruce's autobiography, took acid with Groucho Marx, and is in the Counterculture Hall of Fame but won't say where it is. He edited The Realist and Hustler, and will be doing a column called "Zen Bastard" about whatever the hell he feels like writing about.

Barry Crimmins is a social satirist extraordinaire who has a website at http://www.barrycrimmins.com that you should check out immediately. He will be doing a column that isn't named yet about whatever the hell he feels like writing about.

Political Strikes takes news pictures and adds new captions at http://www.politicalstrikes.com and their illustrations will run throughout the paper.

The Broadside also make political cartoons out of news pictures at http://www.the-broadside.com and their illustrations will run throughout the paper.

Just for a change of pace, Tim makes political cartoons out of news pictures at http://www.geocities.com/tbhpolitoon/ and some day I'll find out his last name.

Lawrence Grobel wrote the book on Truman Capote and the Hustons and Marlon Brando and James Michener, does interviews for Playboy, teaches at UCLA, is doing a story called "How To Do an Interview," and is going to supply us with an endless parade of cute interns. (Just kidding. Some of them are damn ugly.)

F.X. Feeney is the best film critic in Los Angeles who has mysteriously never been given the top slot in a film department so we're setting him free to write about whatever the hell he feels like writing about.

R.B. Ham is a political writer from Canada who knocks the socks off anyone in America. His site is at http://members.shaw.ca/rbham/print%20thinks/currentprint.htm and he'll have a column called "Print Think."

Meria Heller is the anti-Rush Limbaugh with the best radio show on the net. Listen to it at http://www.meria.net. She'll be supplying interviews and commentary.

Jon Rappaport is a political writer who specializes in medical issues. Check him out at http://www.stratiawire.com. He'll be writing about whatever the hell he feels like writing about.

Nancy Cain is a feature writer whose Camnet was the anti-CNN. Her first piece is called "What Would Jesus Do About Cramps?"

Hank Rosenfeld wrote for The Realist and Spy and now writes for the L.A. Times. His column will be called "Meet the ©Mediatrician™" because I like alliteration.

Eric Mankin is an old L.A. Weekly editor who now works at USC editing a paper at http://www.usc.edu/isd/publications/now/ which won the top CASE prize, "For Excellence," in the News and Information Program category, and won a runner-up honor, "Award for Distinction," in the Web site category. He still doesn't know what the hell he's going to be writing.

Victoria Looseleaf has been doing her cable show The Looseleaf Report forever, writes for the Times, and will be covering underground L.A.

Ian Wolff is a NetWit who isn't in print and doesn't have a site but he's damn good. His first piece is called "Reality Based Television For The Year 2024."

Jay Levin is the ex-editor/publisher of the L.A. Weekly and is our spiritual mentor.

Jim Channon is the smartest man I've ever met. He's a warrior/monk living in Hawaii with a site at http://www.arcturus.org/. His 1st Earth Battalion Manual (http://ejmas.com/jnc/jncart_channon_0200.htm) is proof there's ANOTHER New World Order that isn't such a bad thing. Maybe we should call it the Brand Spanking New World Order. (Meria! Interview him!) His guidance and philosophy will permeate the paper.

Truusje Kushner is another L.A. Weekly alumnus who will be our entertainment editor.

Still seeking brilliant art director, cartoonist who DOESN'T use pictures from the news, and aggressive ad people to pay our bills. If I misspelled your name or made a mistake in your credits, let me point out we're also seeking the world's most anal copy editor and proofreader.

See you on Ventura Blvd.

MD

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars." 
- Jack Kerouac (On the Road) - 

"I have forced myself to contradict myself in order to avoid conforming to my own taste." 
- Marcel Duchamp -