Memo #5
3/21/03

Fellow humans, shields or not,

    There is a glitch in my moving to Los Angeles. Until I'm there, there's basically nothing more to do at this point. Indefinite hold. Thank you for sending me all your pitches and articles and artwork. I'm keeping them on file. 
    You guys are my dream team. I've put together the best editorial staff imaginable for the best newspaper imaginable, and we're ready to roll. I've already gathered enough material for several issues. The next step is publishing, and I honestly cannot tell you when that will be. We had an editorial meeting in the L.A. offices that was attended by five of us but no publisher. Our publisher is, in all likelihood, despite many appearances to the contrary, a flake. The SFVW offices remain empty save for nine chairs. Anyone got nine butts?
     The effort to put forth an alternative newspaper is not dead. Not by a long shot. We're too good. Whatever you've got to say, I'm here to help you say it. I'm more your reader and your fan than I am your editor, and when I gather you all together for these internal memos, it's because I want to see what happens. Every day I sort through thousands of voices and I find yours are the ones I feel like listening to. I'm your ultimate audience and so I find myself creating a newspaper aimed at me, one like no other in print. There are no limits to how good it can be.
    It won't be "The San Fernando Valley Weekly," but how much did you really like that name in the first place? 
    They did a study. Don't ask me who "they" are or when it happened. You'll have to be happy with "a while ago." All I know is I read about it in a publication, presumably by a writer, presumably edited, presumably from a reliable source, and presumably resembling reality. In this study, they added up all the words in all the titles of every individual book ever sold in America, and determined that the single word that had sold the most copies of books was "Lincoln," the next was "Doctor," and the next was "Dog," leading us to the inescapable conclusion that the most popular publication on earth would have to be titled "Lincoln's Doctor's Dog." 
    I very much like the idea of other publications quoting "Lincoln's Doctor's Dog."
    "The Washington Post says what? Oh yeah? Well Lincoln's Doctor's Dog says..."
    You get the picture.
    Maybe not.
    Disinfotainment Weekly?
    Naaa, something new.
    The Opposition?
    Prototype?

    I remain,

    in the desert,

    feathering the bumps in the road.

    fighting the forces of evil,

    outmaneuvering the bloodhounds,

    working in your behalf,

    keeping you posted with much more to follow,

    other offers being considered,

    whole new better directions,

MD

Revised opening editorial statement...
 

Hi, I'm your editor Michael Dare

Hi, I'm your Publisher Jan de Grat

"It is said that power corrupts, but actually it's more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power."
- David Brin -

"Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices."
- Voltaire -

"How does it become a man to behave toward the American government today? I answer, that he cannot without disgrace be associated with it."
- Henry David Thoreau -

"The famine is worse than in the '80s. 28 million Africans are in immediate need of food. When we come back, how the war will effect the Oscars."
- Peter Jennings: ABC News, March 18, 2003 -