The real Miss Universe Contest. Sentient females from every species in the galaxy gather at Atlantic Asteroid to compare their attractiveness and talents. Unfortunately, this year, a gang of space bikers kidnap the contestants, who represent a complete spectrum of intergalactic femininity.

    As the captives of space pirates, they are traded to pay off a debt. They end up legally indentured to The Crab Nebula, a pimp-mo-spaceship run by a notorious madame.

    Who should come to their rescue but Axle Comet, a location scout for 40th Century Fox. He's roaming the universe looking for locations for Star Trek 43 - Deep Space Convalescence, when he accidentally stumbles across the poor kidnapped contestants.

    He fights the madame, he fights the space bikers, he fights the aliens, he frees the girls. They've got a ship and they've got their rayguns. One says "Let's go home." Another says "What for?" They proceed to plunder the universe in the sequel, The Magnificent Sluts.

    They start out teenage girls. They end up teenage women.

THE GIRLS:
 

• MADAME OVARY - The toughest woman west of the Pleiades. Her space ship has a plush velvet control panel with fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror. She's got a heart of gold that she keeps beside her bed. It belongs to a former lover.
• VIRGINIA CUNNINGHAM - She's from old earth, an ex-prom queen, now a medic. She must remain a virgin because she is Roman Catholic. She is known to her buddies as Our Lady of the Julie Andrews. She prays to her Saint Christopher Reeve every night. Once she is captive, the most horrible men choose her. She understands their terrible childhoods and manages to remain pure.
• LUCY MORALES - Obviously not a virgin. She's athletic, with pointed ears and breasts to match. Her mother sold cosmetics, which she uses...all over.
• U2-38 & U2-39 - Twin perfect clones specially designed for a purpose they're not allowed to mention
• MAXINE - Tough and butch, born on the wrong side of the crater. Zero gravity martial artist.
• BAZOOMBA - An empath-nympho-dumb-blonde. Men like her. She enjoys it. "On my planet, sex is done frequently and with great joy. It is as natural as breathing."

• LONG JOHN VADER - An entrepreneur with an artificial leg that does special tricks. He will reluctantly sell anyone down the river to save his ass, which also does special tricks. He's a transportation facilitator. He transports other people's goods into his own.
• TINY - The brutal one.
• BYTE - The smart one.
• RICK - The handsome one.
• BIFF - The horny one.
• JOCCO - The obnoxious one.
• LOUIS - The stupid one.
• EXPO - The hunk.

• THE PROCTOGYNES - Covered all over with spiny protuberances. Enemy of the orificed. They reproduce by spore pod explosion. They are always giving birth to baby Proctogynes. They only eat the cute ones. They plan on taking over the universe, but not if our spaced co-eds can help it.